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The four idiots of the apocalypse

Famine, Pestilence, War and Death are the four horsemen of the apocalypse. They are tasked with destroying the world but somehow they always fail, either because of there own stupidity or because they are to busy doing more important things like household chores, working in retail, scrapping money together to pay the bills or just being lazy dimwits.

LunaWhatEver · Fantasy
Not enough ratings
3 Chs

Horses are expensive

"I know you want to keep them but we cant effort them. Besides it's a little bit outdated anyways." Famine replied while rubbing his forehead.

He and his three brothers had already argued about it for almost an hour but still couldn't come to an agreement.

Death growened in agony and shock his head. "Well yes maybe it is but we are the HORSEMEN of the apocalypse!

We can't get rid of the horses or else this name wouldn't make sense at all."

"I'm totally on Famy's site. Horses are just fucking boring. I want a motorcycle. That's way more intimidating than a stupid horse." War chimed in after taking a big gulp from his beer.

"We can't effort even one motorcycle. Besides we need something for all four of us."

Famine pointed out.

Pestilence, how had stayed relatively silent until this point finally had an idea. "How about we vote on it? Like in a democracy."

Death leaned back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest.

"Okay fine who is against getting rid of our horses?"

Him and Pestilence both lifted there hands. "And who is for it?" At that War and Famine raised there hands.

"Great it's a tie." Death sight.

"How about we do it like in a dictatorship?" War questioned.

Famine raised an eyebrow and gave his brother a skeptical look. "And who in your opinion should be our leader than?"

"Me ofcourse. I have the highest kill count." He replied with a grin.

Pestilence scoffed "Oh hell no! If we go by kill count than it's clearly me how has the highest numbers!"

"Oh please you all just assist me. I'm literally Death it self. So all the deaths are on me." Death said while glaring at his siblings.

Famine slammed his fist on the kitchen table and yelled "IT DOESN'T MATTER WHO KILLES THE MOST!" Then he took a deep breath "All that matters is that we don't have enough money or enough space for four horses in our tiny backyard but we still need something to get around."

They stayed silent for a moment. Then Pestilence spoke up. "Can we even effort a car?"

"Well... not exactly....but I saw an add for bicycles that cost just a bugs hundred each." Famine quietly replied.

"You are kidding right? I'm the embodiment of War! I can't ride around on a bicycle!" War complained.

"Well as soon as we get enough money we can buy something better but for now we don't have any other option." Famine tried to appease them.

War growened. "Fine but as soon as we have money I get a god damn motorcycle. Because I'm definitely not driving in the same car as Pestilence. He stinks like hell."

And this is how the four horsemen of the apocalypse became the four bicyclist of the apocalypse.

Pestilence got a white one, War a blood red one, Famine a black one and Death a mint green one.