EPISODE 10; EMMA COLETTE IN ‘DON’T TRY TO USE AN IMAGINARY PHOTOSHOP ON YOUR FACE’

THE PREVIOUS DAY…

(Uefa champions league theme playing in the background. Ed places soccer ball on the ground with determined look on his face! The colour of the soccer ball…red!)

Emma: (Bored look on her face) Why is everything red with you? (Reference; 20th century fox's Anastasia).

Ed: I call this Haori mode ver. Soccer!

Emma: A soccer ball is not…never will be anything close to a Haori.

Ed: Emma…Emma…you clearly underestimate Japanese anime culture. It's not about the cloth, it's about the feelings in the cloth.

Emma: And what feelings might a cloth possess pray tell?

Ed: (Raises soccer ball and turns it so Emma can see the words written on it. The words "Karma" are written in black). Want to know why I kick the ball against the wall?

Emma: Do tell. (Bored look).

Ed: It's my way of telling Karma I can fight back.

Emma: (Wooow) What a wasteful use of energy. Technically, you are never going to break the wall.

Ed: But if the wall is never able to bounce the ball past me…I win! (Yanderic smile).

Emma: (Eeeeevil!) In other words, someone as small as you intends to make yourself as formidable a defense as the wall?

Ed: And an offence in an eien(eternal) throttle of lollapaloozas!

Ed: (Begins training) Karma is a game of give and take. (Kick! The wall bounces it back).

Where a single player gives and takes (Kick! Bounce!)

The harder you give the harder you take! (Kick! Bounce!)

Ed: (Suddenly pauses).

Emma: Do continue. I was enjoying your poem.

Ed: Version up! (Suddenly amps up his speed!)

Emma: (AAAACK!)

Ed: So take a leap…

Emma: For someone so illogical you sure possess a ridiculous amount of mental fortitude.

Ed: And bake some cakes! (Ed performs a flying tornado kick that sends the ball into the corner of the part of the wall designated as the uppermost right corner post). V! (Makes a sign for victory with his fingers!)

PRESENT DAY:

Ed: (In the shack brushing his teeth).

Emma: (Walks in). Goodmorning.

Ed: I've accumulated a severe amount of backlash in my right leg in the form of a muscle cramp. It must be a result of ano densetsu hissatsu waza (that legendary killer move).

Emma: Umm…I don't remember. It must be your imagination (Bored look on her face).

Ed: It could not have been a dream. The backlash is enough evidence. I recall it clearly. That sweet feeling of victory.

ED'S MEMORY…

(The ball approaches Ed from the front. Ed's eyes are shut. Ed suddenly opens his eyes and calls out!)

Ed: CHRONOSTASIS! (Time freezes. Ed invokes 'Haste' and 'Agile' on self. Just as chronostasis begins to wear off, he flicks the ball into the air with his right knee and finishes it with a…

Ed: GOUEN TATSUMAKI SENPU KEN! (Grand Flaming Whirlwind Hurricane Kick! SFX: Ryu voice). (The final whistle blows!)

Emma: Hey! There was no referee!

Ed: I am…winner!

Emma: Why do I feel that you re rubbing in the wall's defeat more than necessary. (Begins to sob). I feel sorry for the wall. APOLOGIZE TO THE WALL!

Ed: What are you talking about? That would be like encouraging Karma to crush me.

Emma: Ed, initially I thought you were a tsundere, then I thought you were a kuudere…but you are pure YANDERE!!!

Ed: Technically, I am a haraguro megane but without glasses. That is an entirely new niche.

Emma: And one more thing…

Ed: What are you now, Jackie Chan's uncle?

Emma: Don't try to use that kind of imaginary photoshop on your face! Your ego is already far too bloated!

Ed: CRUSHING DEFEAT!

And the morale of the story is…when two foes with infinite offence and infinite defense clash, the one to lose is the one with less stamina.

Ed: Hey! Doesn't that mean man eventually loses to Karma?!

Emma: The wall will play you till you're tired.