Chapter 27: Blueberry Pie

Tilda had come again to her favorite thinking spot; the blueberry bush. The branches seemed to hold a mysterious power to deliberate complex issues and it was at this time that Tilda felt she could use their wisdom.

As she plucked blueberries from the branches, her brow was furrowed in deep thought:

So… here we are again. The Felux issue. I like him. I really do and I'd be an idiot to let a man like that slip through my fingers. But there's Cosaria. I can't just leave her alone. So, what do I do? Do I give him up and stay with Cosaria indefinitely?

A pit formed in Tilda's stomach. She wasn't supposed to feel uncomfortable at that thought. She ignored the feeling.

If only Cosaria had someone to rely on other than me. Delrik doesn't count. He'd like to eat her as much as protect her.

Tilda popped a blueberry in her mouth. Munch. Delrik would never be able to understand Cosaria's needs without inserting himself into the mix. If only he were a woman. Then maybe he'd be able to understand her experiences and sensitivities.

A noble lady…

More blueberries. Munch, munch, munch. Oh, that's a good blueberry.

That's it! Cosaria needs a lady in waiting. Someone to help her if things with Delrik fall apart. She'll have an ally that she can take with her in a year and they can live happily ever after, rich as queens. And I can live my life with Felux.

Tilda blushed at the presumptuous thought, trying to forget it.

I can teach the lady in waiting everything she needs to know and she can help Cosaria not make stupid choices.

Trying to find a companion was better than doing nothing, even if they couldn't find anyone to fill the position. And there was no shame in rejecting applicants.

But what if Felux and I don't work out?

Tilda paused. She wasn't sure how long the blueberry season lasted in the Arquix territories. She wasn't sure how long Felux's infatuation could last. She felt foolish for trying to guess.

Assuming we didn't work out, then it will be Cosaria, me, and a third person. All three of us will have to live off of the proceeds from the diamond mine.

Tilda picked a blueberry and studied it.

Wait, why is that a bad thing? Cosaria gets another friend. I get another friend. We go from a codependent relationship to a team of three. That seems like a pretty good bargain. And if it doesn't work out, she can quit. The hard part will be finding the right person.

Tilda put the berry in her basket. She wanted to court Felux. She wanted to see where their relationship would go. She wanted to go after the things that she wanted.

As she stared at her collection of berries she said, "I should make a pie with these."

༻✧༺

When the opportunity presented itself, Tilda busied herself with the creation of her magnificent blueberry pie. Having prepped the oven, she inserted the pie and began the process of waiting.

It was Friday and she was thinking about Felux's declaration. Today was supposed to be the day when he asked for a date. Even though he had declared his intentions, she hadn't seen him at all that day.

As if he was summoned by her thoughts, Felux entered the kitchen and looked around.

He asked, "Where's everyone?"

Tilda wiped her hands and face on her apron. Although she couldn't see it, she was sure she had flour in her hair.

Tilda said, "The cook is on break today and the rest of the kitchen staff are out in the garden."

"Oh," Felux said as he began fidgeting awkwardly, "So, I'd been thinking, I'd ask…"

Felux quickly glanced at Tilda before his eyes darted away.

Tilda probed, "Yes?"

"Tomorrow's gonna be a braw day," He mentally kicked himself for being so flustered.

"Yes."

"If you'd be with me to go-"

"Yes."

Felux paused. He said, "Yes?"

"Yes."

Felux grabbed her hand. Uncertain he heard correctly, yet with hope brimming on the edge of his voice, he asked, "That's a yes?"

Tilda said, "I've got a lot to discuss with you tomorrow, so don't get your hopes up too high."

Felux's demeanor immediately fell into seriousness. He said, "Aye, I'll be careful."

Felux's eyes caught sight of Tilda's blueberry stained fingertips as he commented, "Yer hands're stained."

"It's blueberries."

Felux didn't move his eyes. It was almost like he was contemplating something.

Tilda said, "You're not thinking of licking my hands are you?"

"Would you like it if I did?" Felux said as he grinned at her flirtatiously. For all his awkwardness and flustered appearance, he always had a way of snapping into the moment, as if his previous nervousness never existed. It was both alarming and endearing.

Tilda spoke honestly, "It would be weird."

"Wasn't a no," Felux said as he brought her hand close to his face.

Tilda, not allowing herself to be caught in his trap, bopped him on the nose, leaving a little blue mark.

She said, "You'll get a taste tomorrow."

Felux wiped his nose as he said, "Tomorrow then?"

"Yes."

Felux tried to hide the nervous excitement buzzing around him. He nodded and left the kitchen.

Having left her presence and the need for propriety, he expressed himself by posing in a victory stance; Arms thrust high in the air, head tilted back. If he had been a monkey, he felt he would have banged his chest in triumph. Needless to say, it was a good thing he was not a monkey.

༻✧༺

Saturday had not come soon enough for the anxious couple. Felux escorted Tilda to a gorgeous flowery meadow with the sun illuminating the grassy plants in just such a way as to accentuate their beauty.

"Wow!" Tilda said breathing in the sight of the field, "This is incredible! How did you say you found this place?"

Felux opened the basket he'd been carrying and laid out a quilt as he said, "I'd been running from a monster wasp hoard."

Tilda's mood turned solemn as she considered that this meadow was the home of monsters. Picturing the giant, drooling, grotesque monster wasps, Tilda asked, "Are we safe?"

"That'd been years ago. They're all eradicated now. In this area that is."

"Oh, well that's good," Tilda said as she sat down on the blanket. She tried not to worry about the chance that one of those monsters could burst through the woods at any moment.

It didn't take long for Tilda to forget her worries all together and soon she and Felux were enjoying slices of blueberry pie.

Putting down his pie, Felux said, "Tilda, you know what I'll ask you."

Tilda nodded. She had been waiting for the conversation to turn this direction.

With pleading eyes, Felux said, "You thought about an answer?"

Tilda sighed. He wanted to know if he would accept her invitation to formally court.

She said, "You know that I am deeply devoted to Lady Cosaria."

"Aye." This wasn't looking good for Felux.

"And you know that I know about the contract between her and Lord Delrik."

"Aye."

Felux prepared himself for rejection.

Tilda said, "I like you Felux. I really like you. But I don't want to start a relationship only to know that it will end in a year. My sister, Valka, she might like to play around but I don't. At the end of the year I'm going to have to leave with Lady Cosaria unless…"

"Unless…" Felux prompted.

Tilda said, "We can figure something out. I can't just abandon her."

Felux was confused. He had assumed there would have been a bigger 'but'. The solution seemed too easy.

He said, "Then, at the end of the year, we'll figure something out."

She felt her thoughts were foolish and completely invalid. Valka had always told Tilda that she appeared too desperate. When it came to men, all Tilda thought about was whether or not the match would work. Valka thought her older sister needed to have fun, and not be so serious about dating. 'Follow your heart.' 'Don't worry about the future.' 'You only live once.' Valka always told Tilda that she overthought everything and, when it came to this topic, Tilda was self conscious about it.

Frustrated, Tilda said, "This is ridiculous."

"What?"

Tilda expressed, "Don't you find it strange, us talking like this? Like we even have a future together? I know I'm over thinking it all. I should just live for the moment but here I am, thinking a year ahead and so much can change in a year. There's no guarantee that we'll still be friends at that point."

Felux said, "I hope we'll still be friends."

"I should just forget the future, court you now for fun, and not worry about if things will work out. But I can't. I can't because I don't want to fall in love with you and then have to choose between you and Cosaria and I know I'm being ridiculous."

Felux tapped his finger on his chin. Finally, he said, "Not ridiculous. Meticulous. You're being meticulous but not ridiculous. It's a choice between me and Cosaria. It's a potential problem. You're seeing it and you're figuring it. It's better than waiting till the problem smacks you in the face."

"But acting like this, expecting that we could last longer than a year. It's ridiculous."

"Why?" Felux asked. He had been building expectations on the hope that they could last a year. More even. Perhaps a lifetime.

Tilda could hear Valka criticizing her in her head as she said, "I'm expecting marriage. I'm being desperate and needy."

"So being desperate's knowing what you want?"

Tilda looked Felux in the face. "Huh?" Escaped her lips.

Felux sat up and said, "I'll sum it up. You know what you'd like the outcome of our relationship to be. You aren't going to go pursue a relationship if that outcome isn't attainable. Sound about right?" Felux had just expressed his own sentiments towards pursuing any worthy goal.

"Yeah. That's… right." Tilda said, shocked by Felux's uncanny ability to understand her so completely.

Felux simply stated, "Tilda, I don't entertain a romantic interest in women I don't see myself potentially marrying. For me, marriage is a 'for life' thing, not a 'for a year' thing. I'd say we have potential and I want to explore it."

"So, hypothetically speaking, of course," Tilda said slowly, "If we start courting and, hypothetically, we fall in love, we're compatible, etcetera etcetera, you'll want to marry me? Hypothetically?"

Felux said, "Those aren't hypotheticals fer me."

Some caged bird inside Tilda's heart broke free, took flight, and sored. She said, "Let's say things go well between us, after a year, what then? If I can't leave Lady Cosaria and if you can't leave Lord Delrik?" Tilda clutched her skirts and met Felux's eyes. With a rise of insecure desperation she said, "I need to know it's possible."

Felux matched her gaze with steady, unwavering eyes and a calmness that bespoke of his strong character. He said, "It'll be possible because I'll make it possible. If leaving Lord Delrik's the way fer it to happen, then that's that. He'll survive without me. He isn't one to like it, but he'll survive."

Tilda shook her head, saying, "But I wouldn't want you to have to leave Lord Delrik for my sake."

"That's not yer choice to make."

"I know you're right, but still…" Tilda wrapped her arms around her knees as she said, "There's a lot of ifs."

"Aye. And we'll figure it out. There might be solutions we haven't considered or don't exist yet. We won't know what'll be possible till the moment arrives. A potential is just a potential till proven."

And there's always things you can do to help prove a potential. She thought, I want to make this work if I can. So I'll need to find Lady Cosaria a lady in waiting. 

Felux re-adjusted himself so that he was kneeling politely across from her. He said, "I'd like to formally ask you to court me. My intent is to seek compatibility fer marriage. There's uncertainty but I'll work to make a future together possible, if that's what we both decide we're wanting."

Tilda's eyes shone with a loving and giddy glow. He truly was a perfect knight in shining armor.

He asked, "Is that what yer wanting? Will you court me?"

Tilda leaned forward and kissed Felux's blushing, stunned face.

"Yes."

Felux leaned in close, ready to capture another one of those remarkable kisses.

Tilda held up her finger as Felux halted his pursuit.

"Wait," She said, "There's ah, one more problem."

With stubborn eyes, Felux moved her hand out of his face. He said, "Naw. You've said yes. Can't take it back."

"No, it's… another secret," Tilda took a deep breath as Felux looked confused. "I know that Delrik is cursed."

Felux's happy mood turned dark and serious as his face was overshadowed with worry. He exclaimed, "That boke clipe. That's driech."

Without stopping to understand Felux's vocabulary, Tilda continued, "I want to tell Lord Delrik that I know."

Felux scoffed, "You've a death wish?"

"I think it's more dangerous if I don't tell him," Tilda said.

"Interesting assumption."

"I'm not going to pretend like I don't know this super important information just because I'm afraid he's going to kill me. I might be able to help."

Felux asked, "Why'd you need to tell him?"

"I feel like I should."

"That's stupid."

"Yeah, so what?" Tilda said, feeling a rise in her temper, "I'm going to do it anyway."

She knew it was stupid but so were misunderstandings caused by a lack of communication. Yes, she was afraid to tell him. Afraid of what he would do. But Tilda didn't want to be afraid of Lord Delrik and the only way she knew how to do that was to face her fears.

Seeing her resolve, Felux stood up, saying, "Aye and I'll back you."

Tilda gasped, "I don't want to be the one to put you and him at odds."

"Here's a solution," Felux said, "Don't tell him."

Tilda glared at Felux. He knew that wasn't an option. He laughed and shrugged as if to say, 'I had to try.'

Felux said, "Yer acting as if it's all about you. If he decides to hurt you, I'll not let him. That's my choice, not yers."

Felux held out his hand as he explained, "Lord Delrik and I, we fight. We're brothers-in a way. His methods and my morals aren't always aligned."

Contrary to her arguing, Tilda was grateful she had Felux to defend her. He made her feel safe. She said, "He might have both of us killed for treason."

Admittedly, Felux said, "That's not impossible."

Staring at Felux's handsome face, a mood shifted in Tilda's eyes. With mischievous eyes she said, "I'd hate to leave behind any regrets."

"Why're you talking like that?"

Tilda took a step closer to Felux and placed a finger under his chin as she said, "I'd regret not showing my beau how much I adore him."

Felux smiled, their faces inches away from each other.

Felux said, "Keep talking."

Tilda said, "I'd rather not use words."

Then she kissed him. Surprised, he leaned in and held her tightly. Finally, he broke them apart. As his face was bright red, he held her at a distance. He could be so bold at times and yet so bashful at others.

Laughing, Tilda said, "You're not used to this, are you?"

His lack of response and profusely blushing face said more words than Felux could have uttered and, to Tilda, his flustered state was comically adorable.