50 Hello Father

What first came into my mind when I tried to retrieve a piece of Li Fei's memory was a garden of roses and lilies blooming at the side of the mansion in Spring, decorating the edge of the stony path across the garden where Li Fei usually threaded for her evening walk.

Summer of Geranium Rozanne and Allium Millenium when the butterflies would flock among the flowers, perching from one honey to another.

Then, came autumn, the season of Osmanthus Fragrans. The sweet petals of Marigolds dancing in the air, coloring the garden bright along with the tangerine leaves and crimson trees.

And when the winter came to visit, the flowers and the trees would grow cold and the grass grew dry. The small fountain of three angels holding a jar poured nothing but ice and snow. The sky was rained in snowflakes, cascading gently onto the ground, painting the earth and everything in it white.

That was how Li Fei passed her time as she gazed down from her bedroom window. But, whatever changed through the seasons, there was something that remained still as if frozen in time and it was the scenery inside the mansion. It was winter all along.

There was never a tinge of warmness shared within this enormous space.

It had always been within the professional boundary. A group of workers consisting of maids, one butler, a driver, two gardeners, a chef, and one security guard, Uncle Chen, who held the second highest income after the house butler.

Of all the people inside the mansion, Li Fei found Uncle Chen to be the most humane of them all. He was always kind and fair. Whatever happened in his work place, he would remain neutral. He would never judge anyone and if he could, he would even offer his help.

He was always the one that Li Fei went to whenever she felt sad. One of the reasons why she chose him in the first place was because he had a daughter of whom he often mentioned to the other workers.

She thought it right then, 'He will understand.'

But, anyone who didn't, would understand in the end if they worked here long enough to witness the uniqueness of her household.

Whenever morning came to greet, the three siblings would dress up nicely, the way their parents deemed it presentable. Li Fei on the other hand, she knew what her father preferred. Beautiful and elegant like a white lotus floating on the pond. Charming yet pure with the look of docile that would attract the compassion of the onlookers.

It wasn't easy for Li Fei to figure it out. Her father started out calm, he could be angry but there was always a sign. How Li Fei detected this was a bit tricky but she learnt through times. The only thing she needed to do was to observe her father's body gestures.

The man had the habit of tapping his finger whenever he was observing or contemplating. Though the key here was when he stopped and moved along with his activity. When he had no comment, he would know then, he was in agreement.

This was how the phrase "it's better than nothing" went backward in the Huang family. Nothing was always better.

Everyone would rather the family head stayed quiet and went on with his day. So, it could be peaceful, even though it might be cold and bleak. But, they said a peaceful family beget a good fortune, right?

Li Fei attention to her father wasn't limited to body gestures. There was a lot of things that Li Fei remembered about her dad as the result of her always wanting to gain his approval previously.

She knew Huang Lijie loved to drink tea after his meal. He disliked sweet tea though, he preferred the bitter one. Likewise, he disliked sweet food and loved spicy and salty food. In the aspect of flavor though, Li Fei was similar to her father.

Speaking of dislike, Huang Lijie was also not fond of loud noises especially kids running around and throwing tantrums. But, above all, what he hated the most was when things went out of his control.

The man always had a concrete plan and true to his paranoid trait, he would also list down the risks and all the possible failures that could occur along the way. Perhaps this was why Li Fei was being extremely careful when she invested into her business. Her father was a thorough man but really, in my opinion, he was more of a maniac rather than a perfectionist.

On the other side, unlike any other family head, Huang Lijie enjoyed lounging around in the garden while reading his book or even doing his work. He couldn't stand working inside the study room for long because he felt it was too enclosed overtime.

Yes, Huang Lijie suffered from cleithrophobia and this was the only moment when Li Fei discovered his weakness. Besides that, he would mostly remain indifferent and calm as if everything was within his grasp. Sometimes, Li Fei found herself admiring her dad's composure, yet at the same time, this calmness of his was also the thing that she feared the most.

It was true especially when she saw him crossing his legs with his one hand resting on top of his leg and the other tapping beside him. To watch him like that from below was an intimidating scene for Li Fei. The only thing she could wish for in that situation would be for his fingers to never stop tapping.

....

I took a step forward and went passed the front door while following behind Huang Qian. I kept my eyes steady as I observed my surroundings. When my eyes caught the tall window across the room, I saw the familiar crimson trees and the swaying branch of osmanthus. It was Li Fei favorite plant.

Without realizing it myself, I had unknowingly stopped moving and my gaze was fixed on the orange scenery.

"You always like osmanthus."

I turned to Huang Qian who was standing at the front six steps away from me. Deep down, my heart whispered, 'No, I don't.'

Afterwards, I continued to walk again and so did he. As we approached the living room, my mind began to wonder about this father of mine whom I would be meeting.

Li Fei did pay attention to everything about her father. But, the question was... why?

Why couldn't I remember his countenance?

It had been a blur from the beginning. I knew at some point she would have lifted her head and saw her father eye to eye, even though most of the time she would have her eyes down onto the ground. Yet, every time I tried to remember it, cold sweat would drench my back and there was a reflexive reaction where my body would begin to shake. But the weirdest part was I would feel pain all over my body.

Thus, I couldn't help but think now, something was up in between Li Fei's memories. Something that perhaps even she herself refused to remember.

There was a gap like a rolling film being forcefully cut midway.

At the same time, what bugged me the most was Li Fei's emotions then. It would no longer be hatred, but fear and not just a simple fear, it was a terror-stricken fear.

"You found her."

Thud, went my heart. Suddenly, I felt fear creeping on my skin. I felt goosebumps then.

'What was this reaction?' I thought to myself.

Cold sweat began to trickle down my spine. And when I was busy with my own thoughts, I heard it again, that ice-cold voice speaking to me as if I was an enemy.

"Well? Aren't you going to raise your head and greet your father?"

It was only then I realized, I had been keeping my head down all the while. The corner of my lips lifted slightly as I tried to fight the fear that Li Fei's body transmitted.

Slowly, I raised my head and stared directly at the man who was sitting on the couch along with three other people. It was at this moment when an indolent smile found its way to my lips.

"Hello father, I'm back."