The Dark Side of Akatsuki: Chapter 8

Naruto grinned, wickedly. "What's that, Sakura? It's a little weird that you want us to keep you tied up, don'cha think?"

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Naruto, I know for a fact that you don't know what you're talking about, so why don't you stop bothering her."

"Hey! You don't know whether I know what I'm talking about or not, so why don't you quit pretending!"

"Oh yeah?" Sasuke grit out, working his kunai through the ropes near her feet, "Well, explain it then, if you think you're so cool."

Naruto was silent for a moment. "No way, I'm not gonna explain it in front of a girl."

"Naruto, you were just making a joke about it at her expense."

"Well, she's blushing now, so I don't wanna be mean. I can be a gentleman, too, ya know."

"Excuse me-" Sakura interrupted, "but if I'm blushing, it's because I've just had the worst day of my life, and now I'm probably going to be expelled!" She had no idea what the other two were talking about, but it sounded like they didn't either, so that was alright. "Why are you doing this? I was practically useless back there, and the teacher said I'd just get you both killed!"

"Look," said Sasuke, "I don't know what his deal is, but I've heard things about him. He's never passed a team before, and I think he's just a sour, lazy bastard who set this up to be unwinnable."

"And there's no way I'm about to listen to a guy that just dumped me in a hole and had his dog piss on me!" growled Naruto.

"Yeah, you stink, by the way."

"Oh, shut up. You didn't do much better after he stuck his hand up your ass."

Sasuke was silent. This time, Sakura really felt awkward for listening in.

After a moment, Sasuke finished cutting through the last rope, and Sakura fell to the ground, landing unsteadily. When she stood back up, Sasuke continued.

"If he really wants to fail us then he's going to do it either way. And, sorry, but if he thinks you're useless, then maybe we can use that against him. I don't really have a plan that I expect to work here, but we've got another fifteen minutes to figure one out. Everyone okay with that?"

Naruto nodded. Sakura, her face screwed up in frustration, tears still sliding down her cheeks, joined in a moment later. Together, as a team, they huddled together for one last planning session.

Their deliberation was short-lived.

With a roar of thunder, the sky darkened and the earth shook. Everywhere around them, nature expressed its fury. Half a mile away in the city, shopkeepers serving lunch shook their heads in exasperation. Ninja business. With a bucking of the earth around the terrified trio, their teacher erupted from the shattered ground.

"YOU LITTLE SHITS!" he roared at the top of his lungs.

The children looked like they'd just seen a powerful ninja that can call the thunder and break the earth in his wrath appear just fifteen feet in front of them. Exactly like that, actually. The look of sheer terror was unmistakable, and was one of Kakashi's favorite parts of being who he was.

"Did you think I wasn't paying attention?! Did you think I wouldn't NOTICE?! I told you explicitly that I would fail you all if you helped her, and you don't even wait a minute before defying me?!"

Eyes wide and stance low, for once the two boys looked completely speechless. Surprisingly, it was Sakura that stepped forward.

"No, you can't punish them!"

"I CAN'T?!" he shrieked, incredulous.

"Y-yes! Because, I- I wouldn't slow them down. I mean, I know I was useless, and I couldn't help them as- as a team member, but if this was a real mission, I'd... " she paused, swallowing, "I'd make sure they had to leave me behind. Like- like I'm doing now. You can't punish them because of me, because I forfeit!"

Naruto shot her a panicked look and opened his mouth, but it was Sasuke who spoke first.

"No, I won't accept this. We did well. You never gave us the chance to learn to work together as a team, and now you're interrupting us when we're trying to do so."

Naruto literally growled his assent. "We all graduated the Academy already. We've got what it takes. If you're just going to fail us then you'd better just do it."

"Oh, really?" asked Kakashi, his face darkening. If anything, he looked even angrier than before. "You all think you can just take this on yourselves? You think that just because you're willing to sacrifice for the team, that this is all going to turn out alright? That a little bit of sticking up for your buddies is going to make things better? Do you know what I think about that?!"

Thunder and lightning crashed again, as Kakashi's scowl deepened further.

"I think… that all of you…" his voice immediately lightened, filling with cheer, "Pass! Congratulations! No, really, I mean it! No more tests. You're alright with me. We'll work on the basics, alright?"

As Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura struggled with the emotional whiplash, Kakashi gave them a perfunctory, barely-comprehensible speech about teamwork and people, then he offered to buy them lunch and disappeared in another puff of smoke, which was excellent timing because Naruto was about two seconds from attacking him and attempting to claw his eyes out.

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