Therapy With My Dad

I kept thinking of the girl I saw as I moved into my room. She had a look on her face, a look that I'm way too familiar with. She was sad, broken, and frustrated. And I have been there before, I just wondered why she would not allow me to talk to her. Maybe just be her friend. Still, who was I to judge? I lied to Sandra and I considered her my friend yet I expected this strange girl to open up to me as if we were sisters. I didn't blame the girl one bit for wanting to protect her privacy, I couldn't do anything but pray that it was not her own father that is molesting her.

The feeling of helplessness washed over me. I knew that I would slip into a bottomless pit if I didn't get my mind off it. So I jumped on my bed to take a little nap. Just then dad came walking in. "Hey sweetheart, you asleep yet?"

"No, was just about to. Why, what's up?" I sat up and replied.

"Oh it's nothing, just wanted us to have that talk."

"Come on, I just want to rest and what happened to your friend Frank?"

"Frank had to go. He has a family, you know."

"Is he a stay-at-home dad too?" This is exactly why I didn't want to be talking to him. I was still mad at Amanda and it was always in my nature to transfer my aggression to the next person. I felt bad about asking him that, but still, I did not take it back. I could see on his face that his mood changed quickly. It didn't show that he was angry though, so I didn't know if to apologize or not. But I did know that I had struck a nerve. He moved close to my bed and said,

"I figured you won't be comfortable with that." He sounded so calm. I was a tad bit surprised. His wife almost smashed my head through a wall when I said something like that and here I am talking to the victim to his face and telling him exactly what I think of his condition and he is totally calm about it!

"You figured?" I looked puzzled and maybe a part of me did not want to push it further, I just wanted to apologize and go to a less disturbing conversation but the other part of me was curious as to where this may lead.

"Well yes. Since you came back from the hospital, you have been acting a little bit strange. And you were never okay with it before you had the accident. You always tried to talk to me about finding something to engage myself in."

"And you still haven't found one up till now?" I asked sarcastically.

"In my defense, it has been a long summer. With you getting into that accident and the whole hospital stuff..."

"All these signifies that it has been a long summer for me. All you had to do was to look after me and ensure that I would be comfortable with everything and that includes what we used to talk about."

"Okay, I hear you. But you have got to understand that I was staying at home to help your mother with some house chores and stuff."

"Dad, we are not five years old. We can all take care of ourselves in this house. You don't need to stay and babysit us."

"Yes, baby doll. I know that and I do have some good news."

"Okay, hit me." I stood up and sat at the edge of my bed.

"Well you know Frank. He told me that his friend just opened this new company for the production of detergent and fabric softener and all that, and he is looking for a manager. Frank recommended me to him and I have an interview this Thursday!"

"Wow, that is good news." I got up to hug it, it felt weird but at the same time oddly warm. I moved slightly away from him when a thought came into my mind. "The interview is tomorrow and I don't believe that you are prepared for it."

"Your mom will take care of that when she gets back home. She always helps me prep for all of my interviews. For as long as I have known her, I haven't gone to any interview without her prepping me for it first."

"That's really sweet. I'm really happy for you."

"Okay, so now that we have cleared that topic. Mind telling me what happened between you and Amanda?"

"Did she call?" Silly me for thinking that she might have actually called to apologize for what she did. But of course, she didn't, she is just as stubborn as I am.

"No, she didn't call. I just figured that maybe something must have happened because you left here all happy and excited and you came back looking sad and exhausted. I know something happened but I just don't know what it is."

"I came back looking that way because of what I saw on my way back." I wasn't ready to tell anyone about the fight I had with Amanda. I knew that it would just lead to more questions that I was not ready to answer and suspicions that I couldn't deter.

"Really, and what was that?"

"One of our neighbors was sitting on the pavement and she looked so sad and troubled. She had scars on her body and when I went to talk to her, she got really scared and defensive. She finally ran into their house without even letting me know her name. I feel really worried for her. Do you know her?"

"I think I do. She stays three blocks from us, right?"

"Yes, exactly. What is up with her?"

"No one really knows but we do know that her father is an alcoholic. And that's all."

"Her father is an alcoholic? Do you not know what this means? It's probably her father that has been maltreating her like that. Why hasn't anyone done something by now?"

"What do you want us to do?"

"I don't know, maybe call social services."

"We tried that. Apparently, the man has someone up there. And the girl in question did not admit to her being molested when the officials came for questioning. And also, the man has full paternal rights over her. We wanted to help her but she doesn't want to be helped and now, our hands are tied."

"Maybe she needed someone to talk to her because she didn't really understand it. She does look like a very small girl to me. She may have just been naive."

"Baby girl, don't bother yourself too much about it. If the girl is really being maltreated, she will come out when she wants to. She knows the entire neighborhood has got her back."

He didn't understand. How could he when he has never been in that situation? I have been there and so I know what it feels like. The problem with girls who are passing through this dilemma is that we don't talk, at least not to just anyone. If you are not someone we trust or someone we can relate to, we would rather die in silence than say a word to you. I knew I had to talk to her. Had to let her know that I am a friend and I will help her get through this. I wanted to ask more questions but dad was obviously done with that topic. He continued on to another one.

"But that's not what made you gloomy. I know that cause the voice you used to answer me while you were on the bus was still sad. And this incident with the girl happened when you were coming back home. So spill it."

I guess the perk of being a stay-at-home dad is that you get to know everything that is going on with your children. You have absolutely nothing to worry about apart from the mood swings and which guy has gotten their attention. "Okay fine. Amanda and I got into a big fight."

"Over what?"

"Well," I started playing with my fingers "she stole my necklace and then tried to justify her actions."

"Really? I have never known Amanda to be a thief. Why did she do that?"

"It's a very long story." I tried effortlessly to dismiss the topic. He just moved close to me and took my hands in his, then he said "Will you look at that, your stay-at-home dad has got all day". We both smiled at his lame way of trying to lighten up the mood. "Talk to me, Becky."

I went on to tell him about how the necklace looked like her mom's own and how I promised that I won't be wearing it anymore just to make her happy but still, she went behind my back and stole the necklace and then she tried to justify her actions. Dad sat there taking it all in and he looked really surprised to be hearing that Amanda could actually do something like that.

"Sweetie, you cannot really blame her. She just wanted to maintain the vintage and ancestral meaning of the necklace sacred."

"By stealing it? I stopped wearing this necklace because of her, or did you not hear that part?"

"I did but look at it this way, she was still feeling insecure about it. For all she knew, you might have been wearing it when she was not around. And people won't buy her story of the necklace being one of a kind if they had already seen you with it."

There was a lot of sense in what he was saying but still, I couldn't let him know that I felt that way. "But I wasn't going to wear it."

"Really, if you weren't going to wear it then why did you still keep it? What were you keeping it for?"

"I was just keeping it. I didn't see why I should throw away such a beautiful necklace."

"Meaning that at some point, you were going to wear the necklace and that's what she was worried about."

"I see no point in her worries though. The necklace she has is vintage, this one is just a fake. Yet she was still bothered."

"How can you tell that it's a fake? They both look so alike"

"You've seen it before?"

"Yes, all the time on Amanda's mother's neck."

"Of course. So now what should I do?"

"Well knowing Amanda, she will come to ask for forgiveness and when she does, you forgive her. If you want to keep wearing the necklace, you both can use it like a best friend kinda stuff."

"Yes, you are totally right. We could use it as our best friend's necklace. It will be totally cool, but she isn't wearing it yet. Her mom says it's not yet time to give her the necklace."

"And why is that?"

"Well, because according to the history of the necklace. It is only to be passed down when the present person wearing it is about to die. It should not be passed down when they are still alive."

"Where did y'all hear that from?"

"Mrs. Brown told us the story."

"Well, I would love to hear it someday. But anyway, do as I have told you. You can start wearing it when Amanda does. I'm sure she will agree to that."

"Okay, I will do that. Thanks, Dad."

"You're welcome" and he kissed me on the forehead " now this is why I'm a stay-at-home dad". I saw him smiling sheepishly and moving out of my room. I closed my eyes and I thought of how lucky I am that they gave me a family as great as this. As the days went by and I got to know the Jails properly, I started to hate my mom less for sending me here and I started to love the Jails a little bit more. I was getting comfortable with them and even though I was scared that it will all come crashing down one day, I was also very happy.