Old Memories

It was a spectacle. Kaiden's reddened eye, brimming with rolling tears, admired the glaring, standout barrier that seemed even more captivating with each passing moment.

But the admiration threatened to fade, and his sad yet smiling face seemed to slowly retreat. A loud silence pierced the otherwise dark night.

"Why are you crying now?" the orderly asked, with a confused look, visibly concerned and worried.

"Oh, it's nothing," Kaiden replied. "It was just a memory of an old friend that crossed my mind."

The orderly didn't want to intrude, but eventually asked anyway. The uncomfortable atmosphere was once again broken by a question from the orderly.

"Don't you want to talk to a therapist about your issues? I know it can be uncomfortable, but it really helps.

You must have been through a lot back then. No, honestly, I don't even want to imagine.

Still, I'd advise you to seek professional help if you're feeling bad in any way."

Kaiden smiled. He was touched by the honesty as much as the caregiver's concern. He was truly a good caregiver.

"I'll do that if I feel the need," Kaiden replied.

****

Now, time had advanced so far that the redness in his eye partially faded, and the traces of tears on his cheek slowly diluted and dissolved into the air.

The caregiver continued, saying he didn't have to rush, and if he wanted, he could just talk to him. Kaiden agreed, thinking it wouldn't hurt. He had grown fond of him a bit.

The caregiver finally patted his two legs and leaned on them. His strong arms pushed off his legs with a small swing, and his upper body rose.

He stood up and raised his arms toward Kaiden, aiming for his wheelchair.

Kaiden felt himself turn slightly and be transported forward at a slow pace. The slightly cooler autumn night could be defeated by the warmth of the hot cocoa.

The two of them walked along the promenade, looking out at the still low sea held back by dykes.

The sight was breathtaking, no matter how many times he saw it.

But the admiration was once again interrupted as the caregiver now asked him what exactly had happened. Kaiden, fascinated by the beauty of the bright light, returned to reality and began to speak about his life.

With a calmer and more thoughtful voice, he told how, like any ordinary day, he had sat in school. It was his first day back after summer vacation, and he lay peacefully half asleep in his classroom.

But then it happened, when a good friend of his said that there was something strange and bright outside. Everyone was confused, but also drawn to this beautiful spectacle.

It wasn't unreasonable to devote a few seconds of one's time to this beauty. But he realized immediately that it must have been a powerful explosion.

He could throw one of his friends to the ground and wanted to urge the others to do the same. With trembling and muted voice, Kaiden continued, saying that it was all his fault.

If only he had shouted louder or at least pulled a few others down with him. There were still a few seconds left.

Kaiden continued with a weeping and trembling voice, whispering with a mumbled and slurred voice that it must have been all his fault.

He could have saved a few more, but he was too selfish.

The caregiver seemed to understand him and lightly patted Kaiden's remaining shoulder.

"It wasn't your fault, everyone would have reacted the same and thought of themselves first."

With these words, he tried to calm him down, which helped a bit.

The distraught and irregular breathing improved, and Kaiden continued.

Shortly after, everyone was either pierced through or cut in half by the shockwave. It was a nightmare.

But even this was not the end. He realized that there were at least three survivors, but unfortunately, this was reduced to only two after only a few minutes.

His best friend, whom he had known since kindergarten and who had always stood by him in good times and bad, was impaled by a long metal rod.

A somewhat stranger to him died without any possibility of rescue in front of him.

There was only one friend named Leon and himself left. They had to bravely make their way through the city, acting as selfishly as possible.

They sometimes pushed children or older people because they were in their way. They knew that a tsunami was approaching, and they had to get to a high building as fast as possible.

While they encountered many different obstacles, they eventually made it. The two were finally at the top, but he realized later that Leon hadn't made it.

Kaiden continued to break into tears, and his trembling voice sounded almost like a loud scratching, produced by cuts in his throat.

Kaiden said that Leon deserved it much more. For him, Leon was just dead weight, a wounded piece that really had no chance of survival.

But Leon was the person who repeatedly encouraged and helped him. Without Kaiden, Leon would have been at the top minutes earlier and could have surely survived, just like himself.

But fate had other plans – Leon sacrificed himself for him because he was too slow. Why was everything like this?

Kaiden wondered with a still trembling voice and a hint of anger.

The caregiver responded to his anger and grief by saying that he understood him but should think positively. Despite the many obstacles, he had lost a lot, but with these events, new doors opened.

Now he had life in his hands again and could do good for the world. The caregiver gave him a single, really just one simple but good piece of advice.

"Kaiden, you should do something with the gift of life and change the world for the better, instead of throwing it away with your grief and anger.

After all, the many sacrifices would be condemned to nothingness by your anger and grief and would have no meaning."

Kaiden's grieving and bitterness-filled gaze mixed with his normal self. He seemed calm again, though with some tears running down his cheek.

Kaiden later responded to the caregiver's advice and thanked him for his time and encouragement.

This brought a slight smile to the caregiver's mouth, and he seemed somewhat cheerful.

But it was quickly replaced by a concerned look when Kaiden suddenly choked and had to vomit.

****