Catelyn Stark. POV
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Catelyn listened as her husband and Jon talked, and listening to them she felt more and more guilty. She recalled what happened yesterday.
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Flashback:
She prayed "please take him away.", and" make him die".When Catelyn opened her eyes, finishing the prayer, she noticed Ned and he couldn't say a word. He saw the guilt and pain written on her face, realizing she had been overheard. The only thing he could do in response was frown and then lay beside her in bed. He knew what the prayer was about.
The next day when she was she was sewing a sweater for Sansa then she heard a call for help.
"What's wrong, my darling?" Catelyn crouched down to the six-year-old Robb when he came rushing in.
"It's Jon," Robb grabbed his mother's arms and attempted to pull her outside. "I think he's sick." He knew there was something wrong. "He was talking and then he fell over and now he won't wake up!"
This concerned Catelyn and she allowed Robb to lead her outside to where Robb had left Jon on the grounds. She crouched down and couldn't get a response either. "Jon?" She called as she gave him a gentle shake, but no response other than a small groan. She then pulled down the collar of his shirt and then noticed a rash.
"What's wrong with him?" Tears were streaming down Robb's face. "Is he okay?"
"I don't know," Catelyn knew what this was, but she didn't know what would happen. All she knew was that she needed to get him to the healers. "But we're going to help him." Catelyn took the limp boy in her arms and then rushed off to the healers, placing him on a cot so they could look him over. And it turned out to be as worse as Catelyn had suspected from that rash. She had seen it before but she had hoped she was wrong. "Is it the pox?"
"It is." The healer confirmed.
"What can you do?"
"There is nothing I can do," He answered. "All we can do is keep him comfortable." They had a supply of medicines, but none that would be able to cure this illness. "He may not make it through the night."
"Are you saying he's going to die?" Catelyn asked, looking down at Jon, who lay on his side unconscious. "There has to be something you can do."
"All we can do is wait," He wished there was more they could do. But there wasn't. "If he manages to make it through the night, then he will live." There was a chance that he could survive, but the odds weren't great. He had seen more people die from pox than live. "And it is going to be a very long night for him."
Catelyn brought Jon back from the healers and placed him in bed. As she did so, Robb had attempted to come in to ask about him. She couldn't give him an answer other than she was going to take care of him. She would stay with him the entire night if need be. She pulled up a chair so she could sit by his bedside with him and then sent Robb away, not wanting him to catch it.
Jon started to wake up after Catelyn had sat with him for nearly three hours. "L-Lady Stark?" Jon's voice was low and hoarse and his eyes were only open a crack.
"Shhh," Catelyn shushed him. "I brought you inside."
"I'm sorry." Jon wanted to apologize. He knew she shouldn't have had to do that. If only he had been stronger.
"You have nothing to apologize for." Catelyn knew he couldn't help feeling ill. Especially since she knew how awful this disease was.
"Did I scare Robb?" Jon asked as he broke into a harsh coughing fit.
"He'll be okay," Catelyn reassured. She knew once Jon felt better and saw that, Robb would be just fine. "Right now my concern is you." Catelyn never would have thought a day would come when she would be more concerned over her husband's bastard son than her other children.
Jon was surprised to hear Catelyn said that. He was going to ask another question but then was hit with another coughing fit which caused his chest to burn. He struggled to catch his breath. He shut his eyes and began to whimper from the burning pain in his chest.
"Just rest," Catelyn soothed softly and Jon shut his eyes, feeling too horrible to argue with Lady Stark. "I'll be here."
Jon fell in and out of consciousness, waking up to a harsh coughing fit. His fever seemed to stay high and his chest continued to burn. Listening to his struggles to breathe and cough felt like torture. At points, it became hard for her to watch, but Catelyn could not bare to leave him.
When it got dark, Catelyn left his side only momentarily to light some candles. And then she began to pray softly. Every time he coughed and cried, she was hit with a massive wave of guilt. More than she could comprehend.
She remembered praying that the gods would take Jon away so she wouldn't have to look at him and get the constant reminder of Ned's unfaithfulness.
She wanted him to die so she could be spared that pain. She didn't believe in coincidences and now that Jon had this illness, she felt great shame for herself.
Had she condemned a child to a slow horrible death? And for what? Because she was jealous of his mother—a woman he didn't know. Because she was angry at something her husband did.
Jon was only a little younger than her oldest and she had been very cruel to him since the day Ned had brought him home.
(Flashback End)
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