You Scared Me

Ethan had helped her out of the building after grabbing some medication for her. Ezra had told her to take enough painkillers to get through the days and antibiotics to keep possible infections at bay. Both men had shared a brief, meaningful look before they left. Victoria felt dizzy and weak, slowly wobbling about, supported by Ethan's hand around her good side. He had offered to carry her, but her last bit of pride would not let that happen.

They both did not say a word when he drove. Her head leaned against the cold glass of the window and her heavy eyelids shut lazily, making every blink feel like an eternity. She could see how his fingers were tightened around the steering wheel and could imagine what his face must look like, his jaw muscles pressing against his skin from the inside. It was the same tense expression he always had when his mind was busy working through something. She was not sure if it was concern or guilt, but her mind was too clouded to dive deeper into that thought.

The feeling of his hand on her cheek woke her up again. His fingers were cold but felt good against her hot head. It gave her the same unusual familiarity as laying in his arms. She had felt it before, she was sure of it.

"Hey," he whispered, "you can sleep some more when you are inside." 

She opened her eyes and looked at her house. Only a couple of minutes more and she would be alone once more. All by herself out here in the middle of the woods, far away from the next neighbor and people in general. Her hand reached out for the pickup's door handle but her arm turned rigid. The thought of the silence at home drove shivers through her body, just the same as when she had been by herself in the small room in the clinic.

Ethan gazed over to the house, then back to her. She prayed that he did not notice her unreasonable fear and mentally prepared herself to open the door when he swung his arm behind her seat and turned his upper body to look out of the back window.

"Scratch it," he gruffed. "You are coming with me." Without wasting another second he stepped on the gas and backed out of the driveway. 

His action was met by her confused expression. Victoria stammered out half a question but was interrupted before she could form her thoughts into a complete sentence. 

"I can't let you stay alone in the state you are in. You'll stay at my place until you are feeling better. Julien can take care of the dog. No discussions." He spoke in a calm but determined tone, looking to the road that was now in front of him. Victoria held her breath to suppress the building tears of relief and looked down, fidgeting with the seam of the hoodie she was wearing. 

"Thank you," she mumbled quietly.

Ethan stayed silent during the ride, occasionally looking over to her to check on her, while she fought the urge to shut her eyes. 

He cut the engine when they arrived, immediately slid out of the pickup, and walked around to her side. Slowly opening the door he scooped her up with his hands. Victoria had tried to argue but a particularly challenging look from Ethan made her accept her defeat. There was no use in acting tough after he had witnessed her emotional rollercoaster, she thought. 

Victoria sank against his chest and closed her eyes just for a little while. She could hear the rustling of his shirt against her ear and his heart beat slowly and steadily. The familiar feeling of his arms around her and her head resting against his body shot a memory through her head. She had dreamed about him when she was laying out in the mud, the same mud she had been dragged through by her foot. The frightening memory of that feeling came back to her.

A twitch went through her body as she ripped her eyes open. She felt his arms tighten around her in response to her sudden movement.

"It's alright. You are safe." He looked down at her and gave her a half-smile.

With one hand he opened the house's front door like she did not weigh anything in his arms and carried her inside. He gently set her down on his couch and hunkered down in front of her, looking into her ocean-blue eyes. 

"You scared me today," he sighed, tucking some loose hair behind her ear. His sentence was met with a tired, apologetic look from the blonde. His eyes wandered over to his fingers, which were still gently holding a strand of her hair. When he pulled his hand back, small pieces of dried mud were lingering on his fingertips. 

"I'll be right back." He got back up on his feet and vanished through a door at the end of the hallway. Victoria looked down on herself. Her ankles and arms were still sprinkled in a thin layer of desiccated soil. Who knew what her hair looked like?

Ethan returned a minute later with a towel in his hands. He kneeled back down in front of her, loosened the rest of her hair out of the hair tie, and smiled faintly. With soft movements, he drove the towel over her head and hair. When he pressed it gently against the sides of her face she realized that he had soaked the cloth in water, leaving a damp, cool feeling on her cheeks, removing all of the forest floor remainders that were left on her skin.

"As good as new," he said after he had cleaned up her arms and ankles, making sure not one single speck of dirt was left. 

She had watched him take care of her, fighting back tears of gratitude. Her mouth opened but she knew her throat was tied up, so she closed it again and looked down on the floor. 

"Let me get you some water." Standing back up Ethan walked over to the open kitchen. Victoria slowly leaned back on the couch, letting her heavy head fall into the backrest. She told herself to stay awake a little longer, just until she was good to speak normally and thank him. But the clattering of dishes and the fresh cotton scent of the apartment were enough to lull her to sleep before he got back to her.

When Victoria woke up again she did not open her eyes right away. A blanket was wrapped around her, cocooning her in comfortable warmth. She remembered she had been sitting when her eyes fell shut, but was now laying down. The pillow underneath her head smelled faintly of fresh pine wood. Ethan's scent.

Her eyes opened, but she did not find herself on the couch as expected. She was laying in a bed, in a room only dimly lit by a small lamp on a dresser close by. The door at the foot end of the bed was open and she could see the flicker of a tv on the other side. Her head did not feel as clouded anymore, but instead, the wound was pulsating angrily. She prepped herself up with her arms and sat in the bed, looking around. 

The room was clean and minimalistic. Every man she had been with before had lived in average chaos, some more and some less cluttered, but he seemed to take care of his place.

"Are you alright?" Ethan asked from the other room. She heard him get up from the couch and walk over to the bedroom. He leaned his shoulder against the doorframe and looked at her with his arms crossed over his chest. He was wearing sweatpants, the opposite of the jeans she had always seen him with. Somehow it made him even more good-looking. Why was she even thinking this, she asked herself and smiled faintly. 

"I think so," she answered in a docile tone.

"You seemed uncomfortable, sleeping while sitting up. I took the freedom to carry you over to the bed." 

Victoria lowered her head and looked at the sheets in front of her. "You did not have to..." she began, but remembered what she actually wanted to say since she got here. "What I mean is... thank you. I appreciate it. All of this." Her eyes went back up to him, her head still lowered.

"No need to thank me," he sighed as his face darkened. "If I had found this forsaken beast in time, nothing of this shit would have happened to any one of you." He rubbed the back of his neck and exhaled sharply. She had guessed it before but now she knew it for sure. This was more about guilt than anything else.