37. Chapter 37

Once Maya had managed to calm down, Carina got up, going to grab supplies to wrap Maya’s lines so she could shower. Just as she was getting ready to disconnect her IV line, the nurse came in.

“Oh, wait,” the nurse said, “I need to give her the anti-nausea meds.”

“Oh, si,” Carina nodded, moving aside.

“So, this is the same medication we gave you yesterday,” the nurse said, putting the medication into Maya’s IV, “We will give you another dose in about four hours. The test is about eight hours long so that should take us all the way to the end of it, and hopefully, your body will be able to move the fluids through by then.”

“Ok,” Maya nodded, rubbing her puffy eyes, “Sounds good.”

“Alright,” the nurse said, “Now, does this IV need to be disconnected?”

“Yeah,” Maya nodded, “If that’s ok? I want a shower.”

“Oh, of course,” the nurse nodded, “And Carina, I see you have the wraps to keep everything dry.”

“Si,” Carina said, holding up the wrap.

“Do you want me to get PT or OT in here to help you?” the nurse asked as she disconnected Maya’s IV as well as her feeding tube.

“I don’t think so,” Maya said, looking to her wife for confirmation, “No. I think we can handle it. Walking is getting easier and Carina helped me with the shower the first time I showered.”

“Alright,” the nurse nodded, “Well, just call if you need anything.”

“Thanks,” Maya said as the nurse left.

“Ok,” Carina said, looking at her wife, “I am going to go get everything ready in the bathroom and then I will come help you. Let’s see what Andy brought for you to wear.”

“Oh, can I have those navy-blue shorts?” Maya asked, seeing Carina pull out one of her favorite pairs of shorts, “Oh, and your Catania football t-shirt?”

“That’s mine,” Carina said, giving Maya a look.

“I know,” Maya said, “But I really like wearing it and…”

“Bambina, I’m joking,” Carina said, shaking her head, “Of course you can wear it. I don’t think I have worn anything that is mine since you got here. Of course, you can wear my shirt.”

“Sorry,” Maya said, knowing she completely missed that Carina was joking.

“It’s ok,” Carina said, abandoning what she was doing, “I know you are nervous about today and feeling a bit overwhelmed.”

Maya nodded a little as Carina smoothed her hair, pressing a kiss to her forehead.

“Ok,” Carina said after a minute, “I am going to take this stuff into the bathroom and make sure everything is set up for you. I’ll be right back.”

Carina disappeared into the bathroom, Maya hating that she was so emotional today. She wanted to be here for her wife when she had her therapy and not give her another thing to worry about. She let out a frustrated sigh as she ran her good hand through her hair. The day had barely started and she was already over it.

Carina came back from the bathroom, seeing the disgruntled look on her wife’s face.

“What is that look for?” Carina asked, going over to the bed to help her wife get up.

“I don’t know,” Maya said as Carina helped her move across the bed, “I’m just…I don’t know. Feeling a lot of things.”

“Do you want to talk about it?” Carina asked as the blonde carefully pushed herself up to sitting before standing, using the cane and her wife to stabilize herself.

“Um, not right now,” Maya said as they started walking, “I don’t know. I’m happy because I am getting better but scared because gastroparesis is scary and exhausted because sleep last night was bad and upset that I can’t be there for you more and I just want to be home and not here.”

“I know Bambina,” Carina said, “I know all of this is so hard, but you are getting so close to being done. You are walking so well and your kidney is getting much better and we are going to get answers about your stomach today. I know you are tired of being here but it is not going to be much longer. I know it’s all scary, but you are alive and doing so well. As for you taking care of me, you are doing such a good job making me feel safe and helping me through all the hard things. You are somehow doing all of it even with these injuries. I want you to stop worrying about how you are helping me because I am telling you right now that you are helping me more than I can express to you, ok?”

“Ok,” Maya said as they stepped into the bathroom, trying hard not to start crying again.

“Good,” Carina said, “Now, are you ready for this shower?”

“Yeah,” Maya nodded, “Do you think…do you think I could stand up for this shower?”

“Bambina, I don’t know,” Carina said, biting her lip, “Do you feel strong enough for that?”

“I think so,” the blonde nodded, “Can I just try? We can put the chair in there too, but I really want to try?”

“Ok,” Carina said, thinking through how this would go, “But you have to keep your hands either on me or the shower bars the entire time, ok?”

“Keep my hands on you?” Maya said, smirking a little even through her frustration and tears, “That sounds perfect.”

“For stability,” Carina said, rolling her eyes as she closed the bathroom door before arranging the shower in the best way for Maya to shower, “Now, can I ask how you are feeling about your body today?”

“Um, I don’t know,” Maya said, looking down at her torso which was still covered by her shirt, “I haven’t thought about it a lot in the past few days. I just…I hate how much everything has changed.”

“I know,” Carina said, cupping her hand around Maya’s chin, bringing her eyes up so they were looking into hers, “I didn’t mean to make you upset. I just wanted to make sure you were comfortable before we got in the shower.”

“I think I’ll be ok,” Maya said, sighing. “Ok,” Carina said, “Remember, I think you are so beautiful, ok?”

Maya nodded, leaning in for a quick kiss before pulling back.

“Alright,” Carina said, “Let’s do this. Do you want to try to get your clothes off on your own, or do you want me help?”

“Um, I want to try myself,” Maya said, looking down at her shorts, knowing that would probably be easier.

She quickly pulled both her shorts and underwear down off her hips, wincing a little as she had to bend to get them off her thighs.

“Do you need help?” Carina asked, seeing the pain on her wife’s face.

“Can you just push them down a little more?” Maya asked, her abs very unhappy with how she had tried to move them.

“Si,” Carina nodded, moving everything down a bit, letting them fall to the floor before Maya stepped out of them, “Good job.”

“My abs do not like me bending over like that very much,” Maya said, the pain receding pretty quickly.

“Well, they had a lot of trauma done to them,” Carina said, “It will get better. Now, shirt?”

Maya managed to figure out how to get her shirt off, Carina helping to balance her as she moved the piece of fabric over her head.

“Good job Bambina,” Carina praised, setting the shirt on the counter, “Now, let’s get that brace off and then shower.”

Carina showed Maya how to get the black brace off her broken arm, setting it aside before turning on the shower after making sure Maya was stable with her cane. She then pulled off her own clothes, deciding to take everything off this time.

“Woah,” Maya said, staring at her now very naked wife who was standing in front of her.

“Stop staring Bambina,” Carina said, testing the water temperature, “You have seen it all before.”

“But not in like two weeks,” Maya said, “I forgot how sexy you are.”

“We are still in the hospital Bambina,” Carina said, shaking her head, “No messing around. Now, are you ready to get in? Are you still feeling up to standing for the shower?”

“Um, yeah, I think so,” Maya nodded as Carina replaced Maya’s cane with her own arm, “Seeing you like this made my knees a little weak though.”

“Come on,” Carina said, shaking her head as they stepped into the shower, “Now, I just want you to stand right there and let me do all the washing, ok? And you need to tell me if you need to sit down, ok?”

“Ok,” Maya nodded as Carina got the shower head down while Maya held onto her shoulder with her good arm, her bad arm resting across her chest.

Carina carefully washed Maya’s hair, checking her scar that was starting to get covered by the hair that was growing in around it.

“Your head is healing quite nicely,” Carina said, “Does it hurt anymore?”

“Not really,” Maya said, “I think part of it is…numb maybe. It feels weird.”

“That can happen,” Carina nodded, taking advantage of the shower and washing her own hair as well, “You might get feeling back eventually or it might be numb for the rest of your life. Only time will tell how the nerves will come back. Your face is also looking so good. Most of the bruising is gone and the scrapes have healed so well and now with that working kidney, the puffiness is also almost gone.”

“I saw that in the mirror this morning,” Maya nodded as Carina put conditioner into her hair, “I feel like I am looking more like myself.”

“Just another sign that you are getting better,” Carina said, planting a small kiss on Maya’s lips.

The blonde took advantage of the kiss, deepening it quickly, moving her good arm off Carina’s shoulder and down her body.

“Bambina,” Carina moaned, trying to pull away, “We cannot do this here. You cannot do this at all.”

“Just a little bit?” Maya said, trying to reconnect their lips, “Please?”

Carina caved, leaning into the kiss a little bit more, allowing her hands to travel down Maya’s body, noticing how much more prominent her ribs were, probably due to the weight loss from how sick she had been, shivering a little bit as she felt Maya’s hand moving down her back and reaching her ass.

Maya felt Carina’s hands moving down her body, enjoying every single touch. However, the blonde forgot about her bad leg, accidently transferring a lot of her weight onto it as they moved together in the shower, feeling it collapse under her. Luckily, both she and Carina had fast reflexes, the Italian grabbing her before her fell, Maya wincing as the placement of her hands jostled her ribs, her abs burning as her body tensed during the fall.

“Are you ok?” Carina asked, steadying Maya, their previous activities forgotten.

“I think so,” Maya said, taking stock of her body, “I think I just stepped wrong on my leg. Sorry.”

“Don’t apologize,” Carina said, “I shouldn’t have let us go that far. You are not physically ready for that kind of activity right now.”

“I know,” Maya sighed, “I just…I miss you. I miss feeling your hands on my body like that.”

“I know,” Carina said, grabbing a washcloth and some soap as they talked, seeing Maya’s body getting tired as they stood there, knowing the shower needed to finish, “I do too, and we will be able to do it soon, but not right now, ok?”

Maya nodded as Carina gently started washing her body.

“Are you ok with me washing your stomach?” Carina asked, knowing last time, Maya had wanted to do that herself.

“Yeah,” Maya said, nodding, “I guess.”

“How are all these scars feeling?” Carina asked, “Physically I mean. Any pain?”

“No,” Maya said, “At least not on the scars themselves. My abs hurt, but that’s more like an achy pain.”

“Good,” Carina said, “I am going to squat down to wash your legs. Hold onto my shoulders ok?”

Maya nodded as Carina washed her legs, the blonde grimacing as she looked down.

“Oh god,” Maya said, “I am so hairy. I need to shave.”

“It’s ok,” Carina said, standing back up, “Maybe next time you shower, I can find a razor and help you shave, but a little hair never hurt anyone. Did I ever tell you about the period of time in medical school that I just stopped shaving my legs?”

“No,” Maya said as Carina quickly washed her own body, “For like a few weeks?”

“No,” Carina said, grabbing the showerhead, ensuring both of them were rinsed off, “For about three years. It was just too much effort and there was no reason to do it in my mind. I had no steady partner and the people I was having sex with did not care.”

“Wow,” Maya said, shaking her head, “I mean, respect. I was never confident enough to not shave when I was younger.”

“It is much more common in Europe,” Carina shrugged, turning off the water and grabbing their towels, carefully helping Maya wrap hers before doing her own, “And I was very tired in med school all the time. Now, are you ready to get out?”

Maya nodded, letting Carina help her out of the shower.

“Are you still feeling ok?” Carina asked, “Or do you want to sit?”

“Can I sit?” Maya asked, “Sorry. I’m really tired.”

“Don’t apologize,” Carina said, helping Maya sit down on the toilet, “That was a long time for you to be standing. You did so well. And I am proud of you for telling me you need a break. Now, I am going to get dressed quickly and then help you, ok?”

Maya nodded, just relaxing her body a bit as she sat, staring at her wife.

“Bambina, stop staring,” Carina said, shaking her head as she pulled on her pants.

“Hey, if I can’t have it, I might as well enjoy the view,” Maya said, smiling at her, “You are just too sexy for me to look away.”

Carina rolled her eyes as she put on her shirt, wrapping her hair up in the towel before going to help her wife.

Once Maya was dressed and had used the bathroom, Carina helped her up, the two of them slowly making their way back to the bed. Once the blonde was settled back, Carina went to clean up the bathroom, getting their clothes and tucking them away before taking care of her hair, deciding to braid it because then she didn’t feel the need to dry it.

While Carina was in the bathroom, Maya texted Vic and Travis a few more times, making sure they were good to bring a few things by while Carina was in therapy. They assured her they would take care of it.

Just as Maya was putting her phone away, in walked Meredith Grey.

“I come baring your test solution,” Meredith said, holding out the cup to Maya, “Which, normally a nurse would bring you, but I also am here to remove that dialysis cath. Are you ready?”

“Carina,” Maya called, not wanting to do either of these things without her wife.

“Si?” Carina said, walking out of the bathroom as she was tying off her braid, “Oh, Dr. Grey. Are you here to remove her line?”

“I am,” Meredith nodded, “And to give her her drink for her test. Ok Maya, which first? Drink or cath?”

“Um, cath,” Maya said, feeling much less nervous about that.

“Alright,” Meredith nodded, Carina sitting down on the bed, “I am going to just take off this wrap, pull it out, and then get a pressure dressing on it.”

“That’s it?” Maya asked, “That sounds pretty simple.”

“It is,” Meredith nodded, “But as simple as it is, this is a huge step forward for you Maya.”

The blonde nodded, turning her head away from where Meredith was going to be working, looking at her wife.

“This might hurt a little,” Meredith said as she started, Carina grabbing Maya’s hand, the blonde squeezing it as pain hit her arm.

“And done,” Meredith said, putting the dressing on as she removed the catheter, “I just need to get this dressed. Are you ok?”

“Yeah,” Maya said, nodded, “It’s done now?”

“It is done,” Meredith said, nodding, “You are free of another tube.”

“Now it’s just the IV and NJ tube,” Maya said.

“And the IV barely counts,” Carina said, “Everyone has those when they are here.”

“It’s true,” Meredith nodded, “Now, I need you to drink this.”

Maya took a deep breath, taking the cup from the general surgeon.

“It’s ok Bambina,” Carina said, seeing the anxiety bubbling around in her head, “You can do it. You have had medicine to help you keep this down. You can do this.”

Maya nodded, putting the cup to her lips, Carina rubbing her back as she drank down the slightly chalky tasting, slightly thick liquid. She managed to swallow it all, shivering a little when she did.

“That kinda tasted like a protein shake with too much powder in it,” Maya said, frowning as she handed the cup back to Meredith.

“Sorry,” Meredith said, “They will be coming in to take breath samples starting in about an hour and then they will take them every thirty minutes for about seven hours. It is literally just blowing into a tube so very simple. If you feel nauseous, you need to tell someone because if you throw that up, we will have to start the test over.”

“Ok,” Maya nodded.

“I will be back to go over the results tonight,” Meredith said, “If you have any concerns during the day, just have someone page me.”

“Grazie,” Carina said as Meredith left, looking over at Maya, “Bambina, how are you feeling?”

“Tired,” Maya said, rubbing her eyes, “But also anxious. Can we work on the puzzle?”

“Of course,” Carina nodded, moving to get the table with the puzzle on it, “But if you need to, you can also take a nap. You are looking very sleepy.”

“I might,” Maya said, sitting up so she could see the puzzle, “But I need to calm down some first.”

Carina nodded, helping her wife with the puzzle, smiling as she watched Maya sitting up without leaning against the bed for a good ten minutes without a break. It seemed like such a small thing, but with her abdominal injuries, it was huge for Maya.

However, after those ten minutes, Maya leaned back against the bed, Carina glancing at her, “You ok?”

“Yeah,” Maya nodded, “Just need a little break.”

“Ok,” Carina nodded, going back to working on the puzzle.

However, after about five minutes, the Italian looked over and smiled, seeing her wife asleep, clutching her grey blanket close.

Carina put away the puzzle, grabbing her journal to work out some of her thoughts before therapy, every so often glancing at her wife and smiling, so incredibly proud of how far she had come.