Faded Feeling

#3 Do not develop feelings for your best friend's boyfriend, even if you knew him before they started dating.

I slept almost all throughout Sunday for the Saturday night I had with Axel.

I walked like a zombie to the kitchen with my stomach growling. I don't think I would have woken up if not for the hunger in me.

Mom was home in the kitchen; she looked at me and placed her hand on her hips.

"I don't think you should be working in that place anymore. Look at you, sweetie; you don't even look like the girl I pushed out of my vagina."

"geez, thanks, mom."

I took a carton of milk from the fridge and took a large gulp.

"How is Cleo feeling?"

"she said she is feeling better, but Cleo didn't want me to come yet. she also complained that Liam shouldn't have come."

"But I bet she liked it"

I shrugged, placing the milk on the table to search for cereals in the upper cabinet.

"Are you comfortable with this" I took my cereal box and looked at my mother, confused?

"that what?"

"that your two best friends are smashing."

"Mom!! They are not smashing yet."

"But you get what I mean."

I started looking for any available bowl since she had used almost all of it to cook.

"Why won't I be" I found a bowl and turned my cereal in with sugar and milk.

She watched my whole action giving me this motherly stare. But, of course, I ignored it and started eating my food.

I climbed back up to my room. My phone was still under my pillow, I checked the messages which had come on when I was sleeping, and I saw a text from Liam telling me if I had seen the new update of DEEP IN THE ABYSS.

I replied no, and he asked if I wanted to come over. I told him I would be coming in a bit. I needed the walk and the fresh air. I freshen up, ready to go.

"Mom, I'm going to Liam's place for a bit!!" I shouted at the entrance of my house before leaving

"Shit, man!" he gives me a high clap as we knock down the two opponents in front of us.

"they didn't have it coming," I laughed.

'Deep in the abyss' was an RPG online with goblins, elves, and many mystical creatures. I was a half-elf half faery. Sometimes we go on a quest, missions together, or fight to the death in the arena.

The fight to the death arena is where players put their duels against other players they want to kill, and killing them in the game means they have to start from level one again.

I dropped the game console and lay on the bed. I was tired of being in that position for too long.

"Want me to get you something?"

"Na, I am not staying here for too long."

He laid beside me, and we both stared at the ceiling together.

"Remember when you used to come to my room, and you always wished that stars you could see the stars from the ceiling."

I smiled sadly.

"yeah,." He got up to turn the light off and a switch behind the room. It was beautiful. The neon lights that looked like stars shone. I could see he had made designed the stars according to our zodiac sign.

His was closer to Cleo than mine, and my heart tightened. I looked at him, and his eyes fell to mine. A long time ago, my feeling, which was now faded, was as visible as the stars in the sky. Even when he was the one who kissed me in this very room,

The next day I asked him what that was, he said it was a little experiment, but it was my first kiss for me. I didn't take in the meanings of first kisses; maybe it was because it had been him that made me think about it all through the night.

And when we were alone again, I kissed him, and when he asked what that was, I told him an experiment. I was 16, and he was my first crush and one of my many secrets. We both agreed not to tell Cleo because it was an experiment. From the kisses to the make-out section, it was all experiments for him.

Maybe that is why my heart broke the day I saw them holding hands in the hallway or Cleo sneaking me into the janitor's closest to tell me he had asked out. Even if all her explanations were logical, it didn't stop me from hearing the sound of my heartbreaking. I smiled. I didn't confront Liam about why he didn't tell me he had feelings for Cleo while doing shit with me. I just simply played it cool.

I pulled my eyes away from him, a faded feeling that was trying to come back.

"I need to go home," I said. Sitting up

"Are you never going to forgive me for what happened"

He also sat up.

"We are cool__ there is nothing to forgive" I get up, searching for my phone. I placed it in my back pocket when I found it.

"look, it was just a one-time thing__ it happened over a year ago."

"I just feel, we drifted"

"for valid reasons, get over it."

"AJ!" he holds my hand, "you are still my best friend, you know that, right."

"Yeah, sure," I give him a fake smile before leaving his room.

Faded feelings. They were nothing more, nothing less. I was no longer a 16-year-old girl who hoped that he would one day see me for who I was and like me.