bibiyenini
This is a bit of my honest opinion after reading 6 chapters - chapter 4. The writing style is really unique, feel like I just read a documentary film converted into a novel. Overall is good, you have a good future ahead, keep writing and you shall be rewarded someday. 😆 Because don't have enough word count to say anything anymore, my only advice is: you shouldn't write the chapter title like that, WN already gives your title a number for it.
Reading this had be intrigued from the beginning. If I don't focus on the narrative too much, the introduction of the premise is good. I can easily know what kind of story setting we'd have if I want to keep reading it. It definitely had my curiosity. It made me wonder what kind of twists are on the way. Since it's still in the introduction, I can't give a full depth review on the story development. Most of this will be abstract. One of the hardest to do as a writer is to intrigue readers from the first chapter and this novel does well on that! After the prologue, it entices readers to wonder how that becomes to the main storyline. The transitions between characters in the first chapters were well-done. There are two that stood to me because of the amount times their POVs came up. Since the two of them are about to be affiliated, it made me wonder if one is the protagonist and one is the antagonist. I mean I just saw one person did 3 faces in front of 3 people--that almost screams 'antagonist' for me. The idea of seeing both sides of them sounds exciting. Not only does it give out the bigger picture but also it makes the story much more interesting. Their personalities plus the premise seem like a good mix to keep readers interested. There's a lot of characters. I'm unsure if I'm in favor of having them all come out at the same time. When I read their background, like job descriptions, I wonder how they all had the time to meet because I find it hard in real life ad ulthood. Haha. (deng WN censor. had to redo it lol.) The spontaneity of it does make up for it since it's the unplanned that really push through. I found a few parts confusing, mostly some information. I didn't know how they connect and there was disruption in the flow of narrative. It's easily looked over because I just thought I'd understand it better as I read further. The descriptions in the narrative are a hit and a miss for me. There were details that I thoroughly appreciated and there were lack of details that I looked for. It depends on a reader I guess to what they are after and what the writer wants them to focus on. Because more characters came out right away, I'm not quite attached yet to the main characters. POVs are easily switched with a big group and with multiple characters. It's hard to find the balancing point when everyone has a personality to contribute to the story. Overall, the concept is intriguing. The execution can be improved but it doesn't necessarily bring down the intrigue of the premise. I just think that some improvement can really take it to a next level to where it can fully immerse readers into the story. Good luck on future endeavors!
The perspective of a prima donna or a diva character at the beginning, made me think: - if this is the villain or anti-hero, its odd to start with their perspective but thats goof good. - if this is the protagonist, since this is about betrayal, i wont have hard time feeling sympathy. Betrayal can happen to anyone. While i am not sure if this will be a short one but nonetheless, the command of words are good and the grammar is superb. There are times that i would be adding taglish lines while reading.
I just have one word for this book, unique. It is well grafted and really sucked me in. I felt goosebumps, fear, jittery and anxiety just reading. The perfect kind of mystery book that you read and feel like you're actually watching it unfold. A bit of tenses mixed up but as long as I understood it, I was good to go. I am definitely following the updates cos this is my cup of tea. And the fact that this was featured as a school project shows how unique this story is and author's talent in crafting a really good story. I love everything and is waiting for updates.
Having 108 reviews with just 10 chapters is already an amazing feat. Horror & thriller isn’t usually my cup of tea and it will always be somewhat like that, but as a recommendation from the author herself, giving it a chance is enough for me to realize that it surpasses way more than what I had expected to find in the contents. High Quality Guaranteed: - Perfect grammar & spellings; Definitely is well-edited. 💯 Hard to spot any errors within. - Simple but easy content that makes the basic plot and story of this novel appeal. - An unpopular genre is used here and has interesting elements we don’t always find. - Not the typical cliché stories we see all the time. This is definitely a one-of-a-kind novel written.
I love the concept of the story but there are certain factors that could be slowing you down, I'll try to be descriptive on each one. 1. Pacing. You need to add elements on your story that gives a faster pace, it's understandable when the first chapters are slow paced because you're trying to set foundations for the plot, but we still can't ignore that it's slowing down your potential. Aim to replace small talks with something that will force readers to hold their breath, short said, your first chapter is a good example of writing drastic content. Of course you can't go around killing everyone in the first chapters, but try to replace small talk with something heavier. 2. References and name tags. Overall, I found a vast majority of your sentence structure amazing, but here there are name tags that can put the reader off the mood. A good example is, over using "said". It's truly an eye sore but it's an easy fix. Google "100 ways to say "said". There you can find a lot of words you can use instead, like: Interjected, portrayed, muffled, weighed in, etc. All of which share the same understanding as "said". Apart from those problems, I think your story is golden. I encourage you to stick with it and hope to see you on the top 10s one day.
This book is very very artistic in terms of sentences and creative writing. I'm not fond of urban or slice of life stories, but this is intriguing. There's not much character in their dialogues though, but I considered it since that's how Filipinos usually talk. I'm glad that a fellow Filipino is here to publish more works. Good luck!