| Part 10

-TRIGGER WARNING-

Yeontan stayed at Taehyungs side wherever he went. And Taehyung loved it. He got a dog! He was so excited, the members had bought him a dog! He also tried not to be too "funny" around Yeontan because he didn't want to scare him away. He tried to be as gentle as possible.

And Yeontan followed Tae everywhere, even to the toilet.

And he was the jealous kind of dog.

Whenever Jungkook was around Tae, Yeontan would always sit between them as if he tried to prevent them getting close.

Almost like an older brother or a best friend.

But after a while it got a little annoying, Tae thought.

He already loved this little fury ball but one time as Jungkook laid his arm around Taehyung shoulder, Yeontan started barking so badly and wouldn't stop until they had at least a few inches of space between each other.

Fortunately Tae enjoyed a few weeks of time with his new companion before their busy schedule started again.

They had spent a lot and let's say A LOT of time in their apartment writing songs and songs and songs and more and more songs.

It was hard to sleep at night because some of the members were either too excited to sleep or too hardworking to shut their mind off.

Yoongi for example.

He was known as a member, who was technically married to his work.

Yoongi had already written a few rap lyrics for him and his other rap members and still had to prepare an interview, because he was one of the oldest and to be honest, he was happy when he could help Namjoon a little. Lunch for the entire next week was to plan too and by that a big list of groceries. He wouldn't get much rest anyway since he would only think about what he had left to do.

Everyone else was already in the apartment but Yoongi had stayed in the building, in a room with a table and a chair, which was luckily very comfortable and a lamp standing in a corner of the table, giving only dimmed light.

The light bulb had to get changed soon, Yoongi thought.

But not now, he had other things to do.

Sitting at the desk, a pen in his hand, he noticed his eyes closing sometimes but always shook himself so he'd stay awake. His head was supported by his other hand, while drawing little flowers on the paper.

They looked cute.

No, he needed to concentrate, not time for doing such unnecessary things.

But then his eyes fell closed and his head banged on the table before little snores came from his body and as the light bulb finally gave in, the room got dark.

"Hyung? Are you in here? Yoongi hyung? Yoongi?", someone whispered through the dark. Trying to turn the light on but the bulb was still dead. He searched in his pocket for his phone and put a flashlight on.

"Hyung! Are you okay?"

Yoongi slowly opened his eyes.

"Stop overworking and come home."

The older nodded and stretched his hands over his head.

"I just have to finish one last-", he yawned.

"Yoongi, we're going home. Now."

Hoseok cleared his throat and tapped his foot on the floor impatiently.

"I'm coming, I'm coming", Yoongi mumbled.

Hobi just grabbed his hand and pulled him after him, leaving everything on the desk, exactly how it was.

On their way to the entrance he dialed a number, asking someone to pick them up.

"Come on, George is waiting for us outside", Hoseok said.

"George? I don't like George."

"I don't care."

Outside George was already leaning on the door of his car, smiling and waving happily when he saw them.

Yoongi could just roll his eyes.

"How are you guys? Yoongi you shouldn't work that late okay? I'm always getting worried when I have to drive you home so late."

"You don't have to do anything, you choose to-"

Hoseok stepped on Yoongis foot.

"Ow!"

"Thank you George, we appreciate it a lot."

In the back of the car they started talking silently.

"What's your problem?"

"He cares too much. It's annoying."

"Get over yourself and just thank him for doing those late hours."

Yoongi sighed. He did act very arrogant, he knew that. He had nothing against anyone else in the industry, really, everyone else was totally fine! But george?

He didn't know what it was but his gut feeling just threw up everytime he saw him.

But he wasn't able to think about any of that for long because he already fell asleep before his thoughts could wander.

On new year's event Bangtan Sonyeondan got told to go there, since they still needed help in the kitchen.

The members had split up the work but Yoongi said, he wouldn't be allowing one more plate with food tasting like that and the whole kitchen being all over the place and smelling as if someone had died in there, and then he said that someone desperately needed to give him cooking advice.

Yoongi just walked over to him and politely informed him about the situation (he didn't mention the dead-person-smell though).

But when the cook started crying and explaining that he was only there because the other cook had canceled, Yoongi felt bad and talked Jin into helping as well.

They received loads of compliments afterwards for the food they had cooked in exchange.

One more good thing they had done.

The other members had cleaned the place as good as they could. But they still weren't allowed to join the other idols yet.

But new year's was probably the most chilled time they were going to have for a while. The upcoming month had a lot of hate coming for them, it seemed as if no one even tolerated them. All of the reporters, and it didn't matter whether BTS had been prepared or not, they were rude and disrespectful.

Once, they even accused BTS for copying outfits in a music video. And then for copying the scenery and on and on.

Only a few interviews later, they wouldn't stop interpreting into everything.

Yes, Taehyung wouldn't think of Jungkook as only his brother anymore, but they didn't need to know that! And they didn't need to interpret whatever Taehyung and Jungkook did either!

If they wanted to sit together and if one gave the other something to drink, that didn't mean that they were now a "married couple until the day they die"-situation.

But no, one female reporter in particular just couldn't restrain herself. She asked really inappropriate questions for example how Taehyung felt in Jungkook's presence and if Jimin was jealous since Tae was his best friend.

Another question of hers was, if Jungkook was gay and if he found Taehyung attractive in a sexual way.

When he didn't answer, she just continued asking if he ever has had sex with a man before but at that moment Namjoon stood up and told her that they did not wish to talk about something like that.

They gave her a second chance but left the interview, after she asked if Namjoon had father issues and if that was the reason, that he was the leader of the group.

Back in the Bighit building, they had to do another livestream just as if nothing happened.

Most days went like that. And armys had no idea since they only ever saw BTS with smiles on their face. They might have been fake, but that's just how to deal with problems.

At least that's what Jimin always said.

Jimin wasn't at his best behavior either. Of course he wouldn't admit it because he didn't want to worry his members but no, he was not great.

Whenever he could, he would skip meals. And if he really wasn't able to do so, he threw up afterwards to get rid of the calories. That hasn't been a problem so far, none of his brothers seemed to have noticed.

But their album was almost done. And when it was done, they would go on tour.

A big tour.

A long tour.

And he'd be even closer to them. He imagined it hard to hide it.

Today, they were standing in their recording studio talking about the order of the songs on the album and corrected last mistakes. Everyone went into the small room, one after another. They got through the first half before they took a small break. Jimin kept training his voice so that his throat was sore later. Tae had given him some water and had told him he should eat something as he saw his tired face. He even ordered something, but Jimin threw it up again in the toilet when Tae wasn't watching.

Jungkook, who actually stood in their restroom in that specific moment, washing his hands, saw Jimin rushing in and kneeling in front of the toilet, not a second too early.

"Jimin, are you okay?" Jungkook immediately walked over and laid his hand on Jimins back.

Jimin, who hadn't noticed Jungkook before, flinched at the sudden voice next to him.

"Jungkook! I uh- I'm fine."

"Don't give me that, you are not fine. What's going on?", he asked.

Jimin looked extremely pale and seemed shameful.

"You weren't supposed to see this", he admitted.

"How long have you been doing this?"

Jimin locked eyes with his younger brother.

"I- I don't know, exactly. Not that long."

"How long?"

"Maybe.. a few weeks-"

"Jimin! This is serious! Why didn't you tell us?"

"We have a busy life and- and with all of the things we're dealing with right now I didn't want to put this on your minds too. And Injust wouldn't know what to say. You would have tried to make me stop."

"And what's wrong about wanting to stop you from throwing up your meals?"

"I-"

Jimin opened his mouth to speak but then stopped.

"I- I am not-", he started and his voice broke.

"Not what?", Jungkook asked concerned.

"I am not skinny enough.."

"What?! Jimin, look at you! I could count your ribs with my sheer eye if I wanted to."

"And you know- since food makes me feel sick, i might as well get it out again before my body takes up the calories.."

"We need to get you help", Jungkook said and wanted to get up.

"No! Jungkook you're not going to say anything about this to anyone, promise me!" Jimin said and pulled him back.

"But-"

"Promise me." Jimins eyes looked desperate.

"Please."

Jungkook couldn't get Jimin's begging eyes out of his head. Their break was over and they continued recording, Jimin acted completely normal and no one suspected anything.

Later that day, Jungkook had been spending by Taehyung's side, which was quite hard because he constantly felt the need to share Jimin's secret with him. And he felt guilty for not doing so. Honesty was probably one of the things, Taehyung appreciated most.

But then.. Jimin was Jungkook's friend too, wasn't he?

The Run!BTS episodes were actually helping him to distract himself, so he wouldn't have to think about it anymore.

Jungkook hadn't said anything about Jimin's secret for two weeks and the older was very thankful for that.

Their new Music Video (Fire) was already blowing up, so they didn't have much time for thinking anyway and had to make a livestream.

It was May 2016.

The camera got set up while the members got makeup on and their hair styled. In specific order to sit down, the livestream started.

After short time, Jimin got handed the tablet to read some comments or questions out aloud.

But the only ones he saw were "fat faggot" or "nerd" or even "ew he looks so skinny it makes me wanna throw up".

As Jungkook looked over Jimin's shoulder he saw the hate comments and took the tablet from him so he'd stop reading them.

His eyes slowly filled with tears.

He shouldn't cry in a livestream.

He stood up and said he'd use the bathroom quickly.

Rushing out of the room as fast as possible and almost running to the toilet, only to look at himself in the mirror and a black haired male with swollen eyes looking back at him.

He sank down to the floor, holding his scream in while biting his tongue.

He was only acting dramatic, he thought. A dramatic fool. An insecure little boy.

Oh he hated himself for being the way he was. He felt an incredible urge to hurt himself. He definitely would have deserved it. The toilets weren't that close to the room where the others were still having their livestream.

So no one would hear when-

He stood up and smashed his fist into the mirror. At least he wouldn't have to look at himself anymore now.

His knuckles released some blood. And the little pieces of broken glass slid into his skin.

It hurt so bad but it felt so good at the same time.

Just pain. He deserved it. For being himself. Yes, himself was stupid.

Tears were rolling down his cheeks.

He felt awful for doing that to himself.

And awful that he hated himself so much. But to contain his frustration towards himself was a true challenge.

Minutes passed, the livestream was already over but he didn't hear the footsteps.