Chapter 2

One month into their deployment,they were on a routine mission to investigate a reported sighting of Taliban rebels when a roadside bomb exploded.Phil and one other private were killed instantly.A corporal died two days later.Andy suffered severe injuries to his right leg,torso and the right side of his face.Despite being in agony,he sighted his rifle and as calmly as he could,picked off a number of insurgents who had murdered his comrades,only stopping when he passed out from the pain and loss of blood.

Another stone joined the first in the canal.

The look on Phil’s parents’faces when he finally met up with them was the worst.They couldn’t even look him in the eyes.Although Phil’s parents said they didn’t blame him,Andydidn’t quite believe them.

A third stone was thrown.

Andy heard footsteps.He hoped whoever was out walking would just pass by.

“Lot quieter out here,”the voice announced,now about six feet away.It was the kid,the porn star,Luke whatever his name was.

Andy grunted.He wasn’t interested in talking.

“And theydon’t like it when I smoke,”he said just before a match was struck,briefly illuminating his face.

Andy turned away.Whenever the dark thoughts reared their heads,he would always retreat into himself.Why wouldn’t this kid just leave him alone?

“You want one?”Luke asked.

Andy’s first reaction was to walk away and not acknowledge he’d heard the question.But something made him stay.“I’ve given‘em up.”The same something made him reach out and accept the unlit cigarette Luke was about to put away.

The tips of their fingers touched.Luke’s skin felt soft,smooth.Leaning close to accept the proffered light,he drew in a deep lungful of the smoke,then let it out slowly.

“You look like you’re enjoying that.”

Despite himself,Andy smiled.“Yeah.”He watched as Luke took his own cigarette out of his mouth.He then heard the young man’s teeth chattering.In the dimness,Andy could see that allLuke had on above the waist was his silk shirt.

“You’re cold.”

“I’ll go in when I’ve finished this.”

Luke seemed…Andy wasn’t sure what…easy to talk to maybe.He had changed his mind;he no longer wanted to be alone.Taking off his combat jacket,he wordlessly laid the heavy coat overLuke’s shoulders.

“Thanks.It’s loads too big,but it’s nice and warm.”

Andy nodded.

“But what about you?You’ll get cold now.”

“I don’t feel the cold.”

“You’re lucky.Mam used to say I had thin blood‘cause I’d always sit closest to the fire.”

“Yeah.”Andy knew he wasn’t holding up his end of things.Since theambushhe’d never been one to initiate conversations.The other person had to do all the work.Most gave up and left him alone.Usually that suited him,but here,now,he didn’t know why,but he wanted the kid tostick around.“You do many of these,uh—”he didn’t know how to finish his question.He didn’t want Luke to think he was a dirty old man who wanted to perv on him.

“Sometimes.Roger,my boyfriend,thinks they’re good publicity.”

“Yeah,I suppose.”There was a long silence.Andy scrabbled around for something else to say,something to keep the conversation going.The kid’s cigarette was burning down.

“So,you in the army?”

“Not any more.Was in Helmand.Got injured and was invalided out.”

“I’m sorry.”Luke really did sound as though he meant it.Most people didn’t understand anddidn’t even try to.

“Thanks.Now I run my uncle’s pig farm.”Andy could have kicked himself.Luke wouldn’t be interested in pigs.

“Really?I remember reading somewhere that they’re actually quite clean animals;it’s just that people often keep them in dirty conditions.”

Andy felt himself smiling as he warmed to one of his favourite themes.“My pigs have a raised platform in their pens where I give them plenty of straw to bed down in and play with.The sunken part of the pen is where they do their business.They’re good at keeping the two separate.It also makes cleaning up after them a lot easier.Though during good weather they spend most of their time outside in a big fenced-off yard.”

“That sounds so much better than battery farming.Sorry,I know hens can be battery farmed.I don’t know the first thing about pigs,though.”

Andy became increasingly animated,Luke seeming genuinely interested.He told him how he didn’t use hormones to artificially boost the pigs’growth.In fact he had just been awarded“organic”status.He explained that he only had fifty sows,but because they were rare breedsand they were raised partially outside,their meat was of higher quality and commanded a premium at the butcher.“Though having said that,I don’t make much of a profit.I’m not really in it for the money.”

“Oh?They’re sort of a hobby for you,then?”

“Exactly.”Andy nodded.“I can live off my army pension.The pigs just give me something to do.”

“Uh huh.Do you give them names?Sorry,that’s a stupid question.”

“It’s all right.No,not really.They have a number tag in their ear.But one or two,I…”Andy felt himself blush.He had never admitted to anyone that he had a soft spot for a couple of his pigs and had names for them,would give them extra attention,even sit and talk to them.

“That’s so cool.”

Andy was surprised Luke didn’t think he was a sentimental old fool.Or at least he did a good job of hiding it.

“I’d love to come see your pigs sometime.”

Andy nodded.He knew Luke was only being friendly and didn’t actually mean what he said.Someone as beautiful as Luke would be completely out of place in his pig sheds.“You’d probably not like it.The smell,the—”

“There you are.I’ve been looking all over for you,”a whiny nasal voice said as its owner grew near.“What the hell you doing out here?It’s effing freezing.”

“Roger,I—”

“Come on,you promised we could go clubbing after you did your charity-kiss gig.And I want to go.”

“Just a minute,I—”

“But,Lukie—”

The newcomer,Roger,was thin,tall,all knees and elbows.He latched himself onto Luke and waspulling him away,oblivious to Luke’s unwillingness to go.Andy hated Roger instantly.

“Just a minute!”Luke said,trying to disentangle himself.To Andy he said,“Been nice talking to you.I—”

“Come on.We’re missing all the fun.”

“It’s all right,”Andy waved a hand to dismiss Luke’s apology.The pleasant feelings of a few moments earlier had dissipated completely.Now he just wanted to get away,be with his thoughts.Turning on his heel,he limped back to the car park and his van.His right knee was aching,a sure sign rain was on the way.Paddy and Tom would know where to find him,he’d often go sit in his van when things got too much.The arrangement suited all of them.It got Andy out and about occasionally,and because he couldn’t drink after the explosion had damaged his liver,he was always the designated driver,allowing Paddy and Tom to imbibe.

Moving further up the canal,Andy could hear Roger’s whiny voice and Luke’s steadier one receding.Fishing out his keys,he opened the driver’s door and sat behind the wheel.Feeling the cold for the first time,he realised he didn’t have his jacket.He thought about going to find Luke to retrieve it,but decided against it.He knew if he encountered Roger again,he’d probably deck the annoying prick.