Lockhart’s Class

Waking up and continuing on with my day was hard. My thoughts kept going back to doing something to Lucius. Walking into my first DADA class didn't help things either.

It started with Creepy Creevey asking Harry for a picture and an autograph outside of the DADA classroom before class. Harry naturally didn't want to but before he could decline, Nott walked up.

"Giving out signed photos Potter?" Came Nott's scathing voice. He was flanked by Goyle and Crabbe, who have been following him like lost puppies since Draco was disowned.

"Everyone line up, Potter is giving out signed photos!" Nott said in a mocking voice.

"You interested Nott, I'm sorry I'll have to disappoint you but I'm not giving any autographs." Harry said with an innocent tone he learned from Mother making me chuckle. Nott bristles at being mocked, "You think your so cool, don't you Potter? Just because you face got carved up doesn't make you special! I'd rather have my parents alive in my opinion." Nott shouted. This drew a frown from me and Harry looked to be losing all the control I've drilled into him this summer.

Ron blew up at this saying, "What did you say Death Eater?"

"Oh do you want Potty's picture too Weasel?," He said switching to an easier target. "It'd probably be worth more than your entire house."

"Eat slugs, Nott!" Ron said angrily taking a step forward before stopping when Crabbe stepped in front of Nott looking threateningly.

"Better watch what you say Weasel, you wouldn't like what I do to people like your family." Nott said in a dark tone.

"Oh? And what'll you do Nott?" I say inserting myself into the conversation. He turned a little pale seeing me but still sneered and said, "What do you care Black?"

I just raise an eyebrow and just when I was about to rip into the idiot, Lockhart strode out of the classroom with his infuriating smile. "Ah, young Harry, giving out signed photos? Well, Come on, let them see you with a real star like me!" He said throwing an arm around Harry and motioning for Creevey to snap a picture. He did right as the bell rang and Lockhart called for everyone to file in for class. Lockhart walked with Harry giving him 'Career Advice' saying how giving out signed pictures this early in his career wasn't wise for him. I snort at how mortified Harry looked.

"Me," Lockhart said pointing at himself and winking. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class, Honorary Member of the Dark Force Defense League, and five-time winner of Witch Weekly's Charming-Smile Award- but I don't want to talk about that. I didn't get rid of the abandon Banshee by smiling at her."

I sigh at how idiotic this man is. It's like watching a satirical play, without the sarcasm. Everyone else in class looked like they thought about the same except Hermione who was hanging on every word.

"I thought we'd start with a little quiz, you all have a complete set of books right?" He said looking around and seeing a couple of the more polite students nod, "It's nothing to worry about, just to check how much you've read and retained them."

What followed was the most asinine and ridiculous 30 minutes I have ever been apart of. Question 1. What is Gilderoy Lockharts favorite color? Question 2. What is Gilderoy Lockharts secret ambition? I think I lost IQ points just being apart of it. The books really don't capture how annoying this man is.

Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class.

"Tut, tut - hardly any of you remembered that my favorite color is lilac. I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully - I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples - though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogdeds Old Firewhis-"

I grin when he stutters at reading a paper that couldn't be anyone else's but mine. I see a brief flicker of anger cross his face and our eyes meet before he says, "It would seem some of you don't take you studies nearly as serious as others. Like I say in Year with the Yeti, Knowledge is a power far greater than magic." He finish's with a charming smile that made me want to barf.

He then grabbed a large covered cage, "Now be warned, it's my job to arm you against the foulest of creatures known to wizardkind! Know that no harm will befall you while I am here. All I ask is you remain calm." He flairs dramatically, then he pulls the cover and everyone bursts out laughing. A cage full of raging Cornish Pixies were smashing the inside of the cage. I was probably the only one who didn't laugh, as I knew he was about to set the swarm upon us.

He let them laugh for a minute before saying, "They may look harmless, they can be devilish trickster little blighters!"

He then released the cage and everyone started panicking as the pixies shot in every direction Neville was hung on a chandelier, ink bottles thrown across the classroom, and shredded books and paper were flying wa round everyone. Lockhart rolled up his sleeve and pointed his wand saying,

"Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"

Nothing happened and one of the Pixies grabbed his wand and threw it out the window. The bell rings and everyone is fighting to get out. I unfortunately am positioned on the opposite side of the door. I decide to let the Golden Trio deal with this like they did in the books, but as I look around they are already gone.

Lockhart looks at me with a smug grin and says, "I'll have to ask you to nip the rest of them back into their cage." And slams the door on the way out.

"Are you kidding me!" I snarl as another Pixie snatches on my ear. I raise my wand and spat out,

"Fulmencio!"

An electro arcs through one and continues on as every Pixie in the air are shocked out of the sky. I definitely killed some of them but I don't feel bad, there an invasive species and aren't that important for anything. In fact they are known to kidnap people and someone had even tried to have them exterminated at one point, can't say I disagree at the moment. I shove the live ones back into the cage and leave towards the Great Hall for Lunch muttering about 'Idiot Teachers'.

I pull up a seat next to Blaise and he had the hall to ask me if Lockharts class was any good. I rant at him for a minute about the class before a hand lands onto my shoulder. My wand snaps into my hand and I stab it against whoever's throat is attached to the hand on my shoulder.

The hall became quiet as Snape glowered down at me and says, "Mr. Black, I would suggest you remove your wand." I finally notice I have my wand on the throat of Snape and his wand was pointed at my head in retaliation. I shake of his hand and remove my wand and say, "I apologize Professor but I don't think you should be grabbing students sir, it's not a good look."

"Do not tell me how to act Black," he said with a scowl, "Your presence is requested in the Headmasters Office. Come along."

He turns and strides away with his billowing cloak. 'Sometimes the git is just as dramatic as Lockhart.' I think as I tell Blaise I'll see him later. I catch up to Snape and follow him into the Headmasters Office at a brisk pace. Inside, Dumbledore is sitting with a disappointed look and Lockhart looks gleeful at something.

"Mr. Black, it would appear that you have used Dark Magic in Professor Lockhart's class today, that is cause for an automatic expulsion. I'm sorry to say that you'll need to pack your bags." He said in a gentle tone and a sad frown.

What.

A/N: please support me on Patreón:

https://Patreón.com/G0ld3nj