Chapter 1

"Sas?"

"What?"

There's a beat of silence for a few seconds. Sasuke's just about to turn around and ask the idiot what he wants at this ungodly hour when-

"What if we used glow in the dark condoms?"

.

.

"What?"

Contrary to popular belief, Sasuke was a very patient man. Or at least he tried to be. Sometimes people made him want to gauge his eyes out, or maybe theirs when they' got in his nerves, sometimes he felt like picking up a heavy bat and using it to smash the very old espresso machine he and Naruto owned when it didn't work properly, sometimes he even felt like smashing his own head listening to the gossip in his workplace about how he was definitely asexual given how he refused all the advances on him on a regular basis. But had he ever done those things? No. Because he was a patient man.

Right now though, he's very tempted to turn around and hit his idiot boyfriend on the head. It shouldn't come as a surprise that the one person that tests his patience the most is the very person that teaches him how to be patient. Sasuke is full of contraditions. It would only make sense that his relationship with Naruto is too.

"Yeah. Kiba said they sort of reminded him of that weapon thingy from Star Wars."

Good god.

"Naruto." He said very carefully.

"Yeah?"

"Have you ever watched Star Wars?"

"Well no, but--"

"Point proven. Now go to sleep."

Sasuke ignored the obvious "bastard" directed at him and went back to sleep. He had an 8 hour shift tomorrow and he had no time for whatever Naruto was grumbling about.

Besides, he just assumed that Naruto would probably forget about this come tomorrow. He didn't have any time to waste over discussing something so trivial and weird when he had to wake up in less than four hours for work.

Oh but he was wrong. So, so wrong.