Chapter 62: Memory Lane

Zarah opened her eyes and she saw the blue color of the sky above her. She stretched her arm and heaved a sigh.

She got up and decided to look around her. She realized that she was in a vast flower field and she could not fathom where it ended. It looked like she woke up in paradise.

Just then, she recalled the accident she got involved and her heart dropped. She then suddenly thought of Xavier and she panicked when she saw that she was alone in this vast field.

"Xavier!" She called but her voice only echoed.

She got up and started running. She didn't care if she ruined this flower field. All she cared about was seeing him.

Then, she halted and gasped when she realized something. She got into a fatal car accident.

"Am I dead? Am I in heaven?" She asked herself in disbelief.

"Do you want to be dead?" A familiar voice asked her from behind. She turned around and saw Isaiah with a huge smile on his face.

He spread his arms and Zarah ran to him and threw herself in his embrace.

"Dad! I miss you so much!" She cried and hugged him tightly.

"I miss you too, Zarah! I hope you're doing fine without me," Isaiah said as he hugged her back.

"Xavier helped me to cope with your passing."

But then she paused when she confirmed something, "You're here. Then I'm dead, right?"

Isaiah smiled and said, "You didn't answer my question yet, young lady." Isaiah then rubbed the top of her head dotingly.

"Honestly, I have been wanting to end my life during those times that I was struggling. You have seen me bleeding to death in the bathtub with a deep cut on my wrist many times and I was so damn unlucky with it that my attempts always failed."

She was so mad with the world. She was so mad at everyone who put her in so much pain.

Isaiah had to report to his restaurant and when he came back, he saw her bleeding to death inside her bathroom with a cut on her wrist.

She attempted to end her life ten times and she failed those attempts. She finally got tired of it and let hell loose in her life.

Because of her anger issues, she was uncontrollable and Isaiah sought help from a psychologist to help him.

Her anger issues were too much that she almost killed Isaiah. The police almost detained her and would be taken to a facility where she could not harm any innocent people.

However, Isaiah came to her rescue and hid the fact that she hurt him. Isaiah covered up the incident for her sake.

"Your love and kindness saved me, Dad. And I'm very thankful for that! Because of you, I realized that neither death nor rebelling against you was the answer to my pain."

Thanks to her therapy and counseling with her psychologist, she was able to control her anger and got a new outlook on life. She was able to go back and blend in with society like a normal person.

This was the darkest secret that she wanted to bury. She was ashamed of how she was before.

Her past would always be her kryptonite.

Isaiah paid a lot of money just to make sure no one would discover this.

They would only know that she was adopted. However, the story of why she got into the orphanage was changed.

Should this happen during those times, she would gladly accept her death. However, now was a different story. She had more reasons to live.

"I do not want to die, Dad. I realized that I'm not ready." She confessed.

Isaiah smiled as he was satisfied with her answer. He then patted her shoulder and said, "Don't worry young lady, you're not yet dead."

"Oh!"

"You're not in heaven, either. Probably, your body is in deep sleep that's why this happens. Now, why don't we take a walk and discover what is hidden down your memory lane?"

Zarah was surprised to know that this was her memory lane.

"Did you read my letter?"

"I did. But it was unbelievable to me. I can't say I'm mad at you for what you did because perhaps you were thinking about our well-being back then."

Isaiah was glad that his daughter was not angry because of it.

"I know. It's hard as you cannot remember anything. That's why I'm here to help you remember. And I do hope that you would not be mad at me when you remembered everything."

Just then, they saw a wooden door bound with chains and a heavy-duty padlock in the middle.

"Did you see that? That is what we are going to open today. Are you ready?"

"Yes."

Zarah then touched the padlock and it unlocked. The chain slowly retracted and it created a sound of rubbing metals against the wood.

As the door opened, Zarah saw a different scene behind that door. She looked at Isaiah and asked permission if could continue.

Isaiah nodded and Zarah fully entered the door and he followed behind her.

A young man was sitting in a wheelchair and was looking at the river in front of him.

He was resting underneath the shade of a huge and tall tree. His back was so lonely that Zarah who was looking from afar felt sad for him.

"Who's that?"

"Are you sure you didn't recognize him?"

"Is he Xavier?"

Isaiah didn't confirm but only smile.

Just then a running teenage girl passed them and approached the young man.

She recognized that girl. That was her!

"Tim!" Zarah saw her younger self calling at the young man.

As long as he heard her calling his name, the man turned the wheelchair so he could see her completely.

That was when Zarah saw his face. She could confirm that Xavier had always been very handsome!

And she had always been smitten with beautiful things. She would not blame her young self if she developed a crush on him at this time.

He was Xavier. But why did her younger self call him Tim? What was going on?

"Z!" The young Xavier called her via a nickname that only he did.

Zarah frowned as it seemed like Xavier could not see them.

"Tim! I heard that you're leaving tomorrow." The sixteen-year-old Zarah asked him with a sad voice.

"Who told you that?" Xavier asked her.

"It's not important to know who told me about it. Why do you have to leave? Don't you like it here? I thought I was doing good to accompany you and make you happy. You said you love me." The young Zarah felt wronged.

Zarah hated it when someone she cared about would leave her. She had the trauma of being abandoned by the people she cared for.

Xavier grabbed her hand and she let him.

"I do love you, Zarah. Please believe me when I said it."

Zarah could tell from Xavier's face that he meant what he said. She could also see that he was in pain seeing her younger self pouting like she was about to cry.

"However, it was clear to me that you don't." Xavier looked down as he was upset.

"I confessed to you yet you did not say anything," he added and still he didn't look at her.

Zarah felt frustrated as she could not remember that scene.

The young Zarah then poked his forehead and said, "Idiot. You didn't wait for me to say anything. You wheeled away and left me here. You didn't give me enough time to recover from the shocking truth that my crush had feelings for me!"

Zarah felt like covering her face when she heard her younger self being bolder than her current self. She cringed as she watched her old self and became embarrassed.

Isaiah chuckled when she saw Zarah's reaction.

"Is that me?" She mumbled and Isaiah answered, "Maybe. This is your memory, not mine. However, you have always been so clear about what you liked and disliked. You were so clear with your emotions."

Xavier's eyes widened in shock!

"What did you say?"

"I have a huge crush on you and I think I love you, too," Zarah admitted this time she looked down while trying to hide her red face.

Memories of the summer they spent together slowly resurfaced in her head and she suddenly hissed in pain.

Isaiah did not ask if she was okay or not as he had an idea about how painful it could be.

The pain was unbearable that it pushed her to sit on the ground.

"Do you remember now? If yes, my mission is over. I do hope that you'll be happy with my son." Isaiah meant everything he said from the bottom of his heart.

Zarah could see fragments of her memory appearing inside her head.

When she remembered everything she said, "I do remember. However, can you not go?"

She then looked up at Isaiah however she saw Xavier's young face instead and he was standing!

"Now that you remember, come back to me, mon amour. I felt so lonely without you." Xavier stretched his hand and Zarah did not hesitate to grab it.

She looked around and tried to search for Isaiah.

"Are you looking for someone?"

"Dad...he was here! He accompanied me to rediscover the memories I have forgotten. I want to thank him. Have you seen him?" Zarah panicked a little bit when she saw that it was only Xavier and her around.

"Of course!"

Then Xavier stretched out and touched her heart, "He's here. So don't look for him as he will always be here."

Zarah's eyes turned red as she realized that even in this state, Isaiah still helped her.

She thought that he came down from heaven just to help her.

"Let's go?" Xavier said while wiping the tears from her face.

Zarah led Zarah back to the same door. As she entered back to where she came from, a blinding light engulfed her.

"Zarah!" She heard Xavier's mature voice and she groaned as the smell of disinfectant entered her nostrils.

As her eyes opened, she saw Xavier's tear-stained face. He was also wearing a hospital gown.

A group of doctors also gathered around her.

"What's going on? Oh my gosh! Are you hurt? How bad are you hurt?" Zarah panicked as she remembered the car accident.

She recalled that Xavier protected her with his body during the collision before her mind went blank.

"I thought I lost you," Xavier said and she felt the same way.

"I thought I lost you, too."

"You don't understand."

Then Xavier started telling her what happened.

While Zarah was in her memory lane, she was coding.

Her whole body convulsed and Xavier panicked. The doctors came in and were surprised that her heartbeat suddenly stopped as soon as she stopped convulsing.

Xavier was sent outside and asked to wait while they were trying to revive her.

They tried reviving her for thirty minutes and still, it didn't work.

The doctors even pronounced her dead and when Xavier heard it, he rushed inside and tried to revive her himself, and miraculously, she had a pulse.

Xavier did not stop until her condition stabilized and when the doctor said that she was conscious and waking up, he kept calling her name until her eyes opened.

After she listened to his explanation, the doctors asked Xavier if he could go out first so they could examine her.

Zarah asked for a glass of water and they gave it to her.

They asked her routine questions and once they confirmed that she was okay, the doctor allowed Xavier to come in.

Xavier stayed by the door while Zarah was talking with the doctor.

"Just like Mr. Lockhart said, you gave us a scare there, Miss Jansen. We thought that we lost you. Good thing Mr. Lockhart didn't give up on you."

"Thank you doc. Ahm...could you please excuse us so I can talk to him?" Zarah

"Sure. I'll give you privacy. Should nothing happen, you're free to be discharged tomorrow."

After the doctor left, Zarah called Xavier softly, "Come here, Tim."

Xavier's eyes went wide and his mouth dropped in shock.

It had been four years since the last time he heard that nickname.

His hands trembled as he thought of the possibility.

Zarah spread her arms and like a lost child, Xavier ran to her arms and hugged her.

They hugged each other as they let their emotions settle down.

"Oh my gosh! Finally! You remembered me!"

Xavier's happiness was beyond words.

Zarah could feel her heart beat faster than normal and it even showed on the monitor.

With a tacit understanding, they broke off the hug and looked into each other's eyes.

Zarah did not wait for Xavier to kiss her.

She grabbed his chin and crashed her lips against his.

***