I WANT TO BE VISIBLE TO EVERYONE!

I couldn't hold my tears back. I wanted to be still, I wanted to pretend that I haven't felt that, that my heart is still heavy. All my attempts were washed under the bridge because  I felt it! I felt him. His presence was here as the air I breathe and his kindness and compassion lifted the heaviness that was lying in my heart. A lone tear dropped from my eyes and I didn't wipe it, I let it flow to show the affection that Jake had just showed me. 

He didn't leave, he stayed, he sat beside me and cuddled me in I in turn snuggled deep into his embrace. I just wanted it here, in him in his presence.

"Thank you, Jake," I whispered slowly. I don't know what else to say to him. I don't want him to feel pity for me because that is what everybody else was feeling for me.

I don't want people to feel sorry for me, I don't want them to tell me that things are gonna be okay, I wanted to be visible to everyone not only to one person. As much as I wanted attention, I am still happy that this man here has the attention.

I don't know what he wants to do with me, but I know he doesn't want to feel sorry for me, he believes in me and I also want to take those baby steps and start believing in him. So I am going to try and take the baby steps. One day at a time 

"My sister was a victim of sexual assault too. She went through a lot but couldn't tell anyone, she thought we might not believe her because she is always naughty and cunning most of the time. If she wanted something, she would get it by lying to my parents about it so she bottled herself up. We couldn't notice all the changes that she was going through. she was always lonely when she went to school, she was not herself, she rarely attended class and no one reported that to my parents because that was not their problem. Some people taught she deserved it because of the hell that she had put people through. The person who was assaulting her was from a higher class than us, we never had much during those times though we talked at the same table we did not dine with the kings and queens.

I was never home, my parents took me to a boarding school but for her, she had to endure that every day. I felt stupid and useless when I learnt about it, but I couldn't do anything, my father said that it was like crying over spilt milk. He was very rough and thought my sister was just pretending and wanted attention since no one was showing her any. 

When the school closed and I came home, she would try to be using her tricks but I was not into her tricks because I knew all of them so I dismissed her.

One day when I was not around, my dad was invited to a friends birthday party. He went with my sister and my mother. At the party, my sister was drugged and the man's son did the same act again and again. When my dad accidentally saw what was going on, he beat up the man but my dad's friend said that if he wanted the alliance between them to continue if he want his business to grow then he will not press any charges against his son.

Since my dad was after wealth and fame, he bought my sister's silence with mere company from his friend. My sister never got justice but he lied that he filed the case but nothing was done.

Today I am rich, I have everything I wanted but what I don't have is my one sister, the most jovial girl who used to make me laugh and help me. She killed herself and the only thing she left behind was a letter that she had mailed me.

That is all I have remaining of her, in her letter she was sorry, sorry for killing herself. I was mad, why would she do this to her family? When I read all the details that were in her letter, I understood her.

No one believed her, her father bought her silence and the person who did the action was still walking around freely like no one knows what type of a demon he is. So I understand you, I don't want to force you on anything, but I don't want you to bottle everything in your heart Dee, I want to be here, I want to show you the way and I want to tell you that I would l...love..y...you to be open with me," I don't know why he stammered on the last part, but I was sad about her sister.

How can someone buy the silence of her daughter for a company? People must be greedy!

"How does your dad feel about that?" I asked him to get some insight. Trust me if I were Her sister, I will be haunting my dad and make him run mad for the rest of his life.

"He was sad, he is sad until now. The company that he was given did not turn out well the way he expected, everything burnt down to ashes because that's where my sister burnt herself. She said that the company was the beginning of all evils and she wasn't going to live to see it grow," 

I wanted to be sorry about the company but no I was not, I was only sorry about her sister who decided to take her own life. She must have done through a lot of pain while doing that.

"I am sorry, not because of the company, but because of your sister, plus you can't keep on blaming yourself because of that, I know she wants you happy and she will be happy if you are not sad," I said to him and turned around to face him.

I wanted to start looking him in the eyes, I wanted to be swallowed by his beautiful dark eyes. Scary but at the same time beautiful. Looking into them, they held sorrow and pain. She loved her sister.

Wait, but in the tabloids, it's usually a family of two boys and one sister, he has not talked about them.

"How does your other brother and sister feel about her?" I asked.

"They are broken, they always look into her room every day like she is still there, for me, I sleep in her room whenever I go home. Sometimes I feel okay when am in her room because I know she is still there with me and still loves me.

I don't know about me and Fern. What will I feel when she is gone? Do I want her alive or will I be happy when she is dead? Will my parents be able to focus on me or they will spend the rest of their lives mourning and loathing over their daughter?

I don't even want to think about it, so I look into Jake's eyes. He needs a bit of explanation about mum's words. Bit first he needs an insight into my family before judging.

"I also have a sister, Fern. She is twenty-two. A jovial, happy, outgoing girl just like every teenager. She loves partying and travelling a lot. Another thing she is petite and loves being the model type. She has modelled for lots of cloth brands and she has a certificate in hospitality and business management. so trust my mother when she said she is more learned than me," I whispered the last part to his ears.

He squirmed when my hands touched his cheeks and felt ticklish when I whispered into his ears. 

"But why haven't you gone for college?" He asked me in a serious tone while locking his eyes with mine.

Wait, why is he even concerned that I haven't gone to college, like whenever I tell someone that I haven't been to college they say is okay. Unless that only applies to my hood where no one cares whether you have been to university, community college or not. They treat everyone as equals.

But how wouldn't explain to him about the situation in my family? I guess we all start somewhere and me starting somewhere is by trusting him a little.

"My dad has cancer, so a lot of money goes into his treatment, but am saving up and I might join college or a community college for that matter," I said confidently.

But that was not a good enough explanation to him. He needed more answers than just me saying that.

Something like, why has your sister done his college yet you are here without college, don't you value your education?

I don't wait for him to ask me that, instead I just told him what he needed to hear, 

"My sister is a hardworking girl, she used to work three jobs to save up for his certificate, that is why she has been able to work out her life perfectly. That is what am also trying to do Jake, soon I will be enrolling in one so don't tense about it," I assured him.

He looked at me and placed his hands on my cheek. "Can I do something silly to you?" He asked cheekily.

My heart skipped a beat and was now racing from what he was saying. 

What does he mean by silly thing, maybe I might be overacting about that situation and he probably wants to be a gentleman.

"What thing is that?" I asked while lifting my brows.

"Wait, don't be silly am a gentleman and won't do that to you," he grinned while pinching my cheeks.

"I didn't even say anything or think about anything, just do that silly thing," I brushed him off because he was cunning with his smile.

"I want to contribute towards your college find!" He said.

"Wait, what? No, am good, I will do that when I have enough cash," I said to him pretty serious.

"Dee comes one am trying to help," he said while holding my face in position.

Helping? I remember how my sister used to be followed by people because she had to pay for the help that was given to him. I don't want to be the victim of the same.

"I don't want to Jake, I am grateful for the opportunity," I said to him while emitting seriousness.

He became frustrated and I could see the furrows that were developing on his foreheads. Just a little situation and he is now frustrated, I pity him if this is how he behaves. If he meets my sister he will have to slap her twice to get her full attention.

"I am just trying g to help you Dee and time is flying why don't you just accept my help?" He asked in frustration.

"Well Jake as you can see am not a charity box neither do I have a serious need to be listed on the red cross notice board, I am doing just fine!"

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Thank you for reading❤

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