Are You Ready To Be A.........

"Are you serious about that? I mean you can't even walk right now?"

I didn't know what I was talking about, but I didn't mind that. I knew what I wanted to do, and if it means chaining his body to a bed and sucking him dry then I will do that a million times over and over because he is an amazing man I want to be around.

Dont worry, I have what it takes to do my job. I just need some more time you know, to make sure that I have everything figured out. 

He smiled watching me say all that as if I was planning a very big heist.

"How did you imagine your first day? I mean are you satisfied with how our first night went?" 

I had a very amazing night, one filled with love and lots of exploration. I couldn't imagine that things will be this amazing. Though I had started losing hope of this was happening, I am glad that it happened and things are not awkward. 

I placed my face on his forehead, and he looked at me trying to bring his lip closer to mine. I didn't want to have sex now, I just wanted this moment to last. You know we will never go back there and do the things we have done, but I knew everything at that moment meant a lot to me. Being loved and having someone who shows you just how it's supposed to be done is all I am grateful for.

I am grateful for everything that you have shown me, the love and the amazing life you have given me. I don't know if I am naive or silky but I am here trying to tell you how I'm grateful I am.

"Are you okay?" 

I looked at him ask me that question. How can I not be okay? I am only with him by my side every minute. I can't choose another man to replace his position.

I am fine, everything is fine hun, just being by your side makes me fine and I don't have anything to worry about.

He smiled and placed a kiss on my cheeks. Cuddling me and hugging me tightly. 

I still can't imagine how things are now? Where I am now, how things took a different turn. Four years ago, I still couldn't imagine I would come across this gentle person who acted like a jerk but deep inside he had this loving side. Leaving his friends just to make sure that I am okay and apologises for their behaviours. Decided to take me under his wings, educate me, and show me that I am not that stupid girl that people know about. Explain to me that I needed to work extra hard to get everything right. I am happy. After four years, he had still kept his promises, he let me finish my education before fighting his ways in between my legs. To say that I expected him to be a gentleman, was a lie. I thought that he was using his kindness to fight his way up my panties and rip them off, that was not his way of playing. Instead, he was waiting for me to be done. He wanted to build me up and show me that I can be anyone I want to be. Look at me now, a graduate, a good job, a good investment and a nice and loving man who listened to me and I learned from him.

"Do you think you are ready to be a mother?" 

What? Are you serious? You are saying that and yet we had raw sex just yesterday and you are asking me that? What if it just happens that I am pregnant. I even swallowed some, hun.

"Come on hun, swallowing doesn't make you pregnant."

I was made to believe that kissing made you pregnant, sorry though, but about your question, I don't know, what about you?

He had to give me the answer first. I don't want him jumping out of the rope at the last minute and leaving me to drown in the river because the rope was too loose to hold onto.

"It is not like I don't want babies but I feel like I am not ready to have a kid Dee, I mean, it's a good feeling. Look at Dominic and Claire, they are excited through their baby spends a lot of his time with us because he can't withstand them. I am just not ready."

My heart sank. What if? No, I don't want to imagine the 'what if' that has been circulating in my head right for a while now. Maybe I want him too much. He doesn't need to be pressured about anything. I need to protect myself from everything to make sure I don't end up in the wrong place and do what he doesn't want or is not ready for.

I mean, Claire and Dominic were ready for anything but Jake and me, we barely know anything about that. 

"Why that long face?"

I smiled to cover the disappointment.  

Sorry, it's nothing, I know with time we are going to be ready, okay?

Jake looked at me and raised his brows at me. It was like he was doubting what I was saying.

"You still have the period tracker on my phone or did you delete it after I showed you how to use it on your phone?

The period tracker was the app he asked me to use for my periods because sometimes my period tends to mess up, we were checking on it to make sure that I get to consult a doctor in case something is happening. 

No, it is still on your phone, why?

"We need to be sure about your days darling and make sure that they don't mess things up."

He removed his phone and went straight to the apps. Getting the specific thing that he wanted. We checked through every detail and luckily it indicated that I was on my safe days.

"Fuck yeah!" 

I looked at what he was looking then I remember him asking me whether I was safe or not. It all dawned on me that he meant this, how stupid could I have been not to realize that he was asking about being safe. Shit!

Are you worried about me getting pregnant?

I seriously don't know why I was asking him that question. Though he looked determined to make me I don't get a baby. Maybe it was for the good, we don't know what will happen. 

"Hun, I am just doing things for the best here, I don't want to end up messing anything for you, you have some amazing dreams to fulfil and a master class to work on."

Yeah, I had a master's class that I have to worry about and I will focus on that.

Am I mad? Hell yeah, I am mad. Why can't he just be open-minded like Dominic and Claire, people are not ready for anything. Things just happen and no one is ready for them to happen. People find out that they are pregnant and they didn't even plan, I am not saying that I am not planning to make sure my kids have a good life, but if we start planning earlier we could avoid some drama in the future. Jake is not ready for that. He is against the idea. I have to make sure that I don't get pregnant and in case it happens then it's going to kill him.

I get it, Jake, we are not supposed to get pregnant, and I won't do that, happy?

That was not supposed to come out that way. I was supposed to say it in a calm voice but turns out I have said it in a manner that suggests I wanted to get pregnant but Jake is the one against the idea. Jake raised his brows and stood up from the bed looking at me.

"Are you serious you want to get pregnant? The way you have said your words suggest that Dee?"

For fucks sake, I didn't suggest that, I was just trying to let the words come out nicely but my mouth couldn't just let them come out nicely. Sorry.

"Sorry? You don't even act sorry, you are just the same as her, you want a baby, to show that I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you? Can't you see that I love you already?"

Okay, I didn't mean that Jake, it was just a suggestion, it was nothing serious. You are the one who came up with the discussion in the first place. It's not like I want to prove anything?  What is even the point of trying to compare me with someone else?

"You know what? Forget it!"

He jumped from the bed, picked some clothes out of the closet and he was out of the room. Like I was the one who wanted this so bad. What is wrong with him? I hate when someone tries to compare me with others. I was cool when they tried some years back but right now, at this moment, no, I am who I am and I am not going to accept or allow someone to compare me with some people he knew a long-time ago?

I didn't even do anything wrong. I was just mad that he thinks this is a scheme I am coming up with. What's wrong with him in the first place? Fuck, why am I even complaining?  

It was just a normal day that had started well and now here we are, Jake walking out and leaving me all alone in the house, I am even afraid of what is going to happen, I don't know this place well, as much as there are people in the villas, I bet if someone tried to kidnap me, no one is going to hear about it.

My legs couldn't stand well still. I placed my head on the headboard and looked at my hands which were now shaking. This was not supposed to escalate this much. We could have still solved it in another way. Peacefully without shouting at each other trying to prove that each of us had a good mouth and knows what they want. Look at where we are. I just hope that he is not doing anything stupid. 

I need to do something, I can't just let him walk out like this, maybe I am the one to be blamed for it. I pushed the topic though he just asked nicely. I forced myself up from the ned. Tried to make it neat, maybe it will ease my tiredness. I had taken some breakfast hence I was feeling a bit better unlike when I woke up for my shower. Trying to look for something from the closet, I got some sweatpants and a crop top in there. I decided to wear it and accompany it with a bucket hat.  I didn't want to face the scorching sun outside.

 The sweatpants felt too heavy on my body, so I picked one of Jake's boxers, I didn't mind that they are boxers and one will see me in them. They fitted perfectly on my ass. They were much more comfortable than sweatpants.

I didn't have a phone so calling Jake was pointless. I slowly descended the stairs and all the flower petals that were on the floor were gone and the floor was Spotlessly clean. 

I tried calling Jake's name but I couldn't find him anywhere, I decided to go outside, maybe he is outside just basking in the sun. The minute I stepped outside, the guards were all over the place. I didn't get what was going on, we were just two people in the house. But out here I had like ten guards guarding a single house.

"Excuse me miss, you can't go anywhere, boss's orders."

What does he mean I can't go anywhere? Has he decided to take my walking rights now after almost handicapping them last might? Like hell I am going to allow that to happen, nope, not when I have my two legs that can walk and run.

"Where is your boss?"

I wanted to sound furious at the guard but there was no point in doing that to him. He is just a mere person asked to take care of me, how can politely ask him to stop being an idiot and get out of my way.

"We don't know miss, he left and went out and said not to follow him."

Okay, because maybe something is happening to him and you won't get paid for your life because something happened to him. I just want to make sure he is safe 

The man looked at me then at the other guards. I don't know how to shout at people, too bad. 

I need to find Jake and I dont have my phone and he is responsible for my wellbeing, so if you will allow me to take you and another guard and help me look for him I will appreciate it.

The guard was hesitant but he signalled for another guard and they nodded. We walked down to the villas with the two guards and the rest were left in the house to take care of it.

Walking around the place, I was trying my best to look around the villa but I didn't know where he could go to. Even in the empty room, he took me to yesterday, he was not there. 

We decided to look into another place but he was not there. It then dawned on me that I haven't visited the area where we had our date together. Maybe he might be down there just trying to cool his head off. The area looked secluded to prevent anyone from going there. The guards walked me to the beach and I realized how far the place is from our house.  I wanted to fix this issue because it bagged me. 

Walking to that place, all I could see was endless sand and ocean from a distance. I couldn't any sign of Jake or anything related to Jake. I kept walking because I was determined to find him. Then I saw his shirt, it was left on the beach and there was no one nearby.

Fear gripped me because I couldn't see Jake around be area. Only his shirt lying on the beach and nothing more.

Can you try searching in the water? I am only seeing his shirt but Jake is not around. Try and search around the place, please. 

The guards quickly run and jumped into the beach with their clothes. Other guards were alerted and surprisingly ten guards arrived at the area searching for Jake.

Suddenlybis I saw ahead emerging from the water, the braids that I made on his hair this morning were still intact.

He was shocked when he saw some men in suits inside the water. 

"What's going on?" 

He had not seen me standing at the bay. I shouted his name and he looked at my side, walking quickly out of the water, he started running towards me and I run to him. I didn't even know why my kegs were trying to run at this time because they couldn't run some minutes ago.

He hugged me when I reached him. Kissing the top of my head and checking my face for anything.

"Are you okay hun?"

I nodded and asked him the same, he was dripping water on his body.

"What are you doing here?"

Look, hun, I dont want us to argue about the baby thing. I will make sure that I don't get one, don't get mad and just leave the house, please.

I was begging him because I didn't want him to leave abruptly.

"I am sorry, I was stupid to do that. I love you and comparing you with anyone else so stupid, forgive me, okay?"