takes

Why even bother?

Why expectations still exist when I'm the one who threw the chances?

Why am I still stupid?

Just why? I ask that myself all the time.

He never responded to me, he didn't then and certainly not now. Every text was just unread, every call was left unanswered. Never went through, our connection was severely cut and I was left to bleed, can't even tend my wound.

I spent the last three years being ignored, like I never mattered. For me, he was my everything, my reason, my shoulder, my light at the end of the tunnel. However, to him, I became a ghost, never seen nor heard. And now, it seems he can't meet my gaze. All he did was stare at the ground like it was the most interesting thing to look at.

I am to be ignored. Again.

Wasn't surprised though, I knew that this would happen. Before, I could still hold to a thin and fragile thread of hope. Now, it's all gone. Desperation snapped it in two. But what can you do when darkness have already swallowed you whole? When darkness rendered you blind, yet made you vulnerable to the things you couldn't see?

Useless, that's what I'd become.

Maybe that's why he never even bothered to talk, or just to greet me at least. All he gave was nothing but silence, and it left me even more dead inside. Unmoving, his head hanging down between his shoulders, I can't even see his face. Standing, that's all he did, as if he's waiting for me to walk away and leave.

A minute has passed followed by another and another and another, neither of us dared to move. This time, I thought waiting will be easy, but the process was barely bearable. I can't do it again. Now, I refuse to do so.

I want to run away and never turn back. Forget this ever happened, lock the thoughts inside my head once again. That's all I've done and that's all I'll ever do, so I turned my back away from him.

But then I heard that word, the word that I've been aching to hear for some time. It's all I've ask for, and it's enough to make me freeze and stay.