3 time

"I'm sorry..."

Funny, I have longed to hear that from him. But now I did, all I felt was hurt. Just hurt, not the relief nor the peace I was expecting. Hearing him say that just made the wound in my heart widen and deepen, because it wasn't enough.

Not at all.

An apology wouldn't suffice it all.

The wound became too big for a band aid to fix.

I turned to look back at him, but didn't expect to see him on his knees with his gaze still rooted to the ground. My resolve slowly began to crack, and it made me want to reach out to him.

It made me foolish.

"I'm so sorry, Aneeka."

I kneeled in front him. My knees touched the ground just as his tears did. My heart thumped fast and loud against my chest, the ache never disappearing but only worsening.

"It's my fault... The one to blame. T-The one to-"

Wet.

My cheeks feel wet.

I tried to wipe it off and dry my face, but it was never ending. The world around me blurred, and came out a strained sound from my throat that I could only recognize as a sob some later on.

I am crying.

Why?

I could only ask why, because I promised myself to never cry again. To never show weakness, to never give them the satisfaction to see me vulnerable.

Yet, as the unbearable ache on my chest begs to be let out, I realized maybe I wasn't as tough as I convinced myself to be. I can't stop myself, I don't even recognize myself anymore. It sounds painful, I sound painful. I tried to muffle my sobs into my hands, but it could only do so much. It wasn't enough.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you."

It's too late for apologies...