Chapter fifty six

Rebekah

We sat in a circle around the dying fire. The house eerily quiet. It was unnatural. Not long ago was there racket and noise, laugher and smiles and even cries. There was not a day that went by, where the house was empty and silent. It all changed. Losing her changed it all. No one had opened their letters just yet. It was still too raw and painful and the fear of feeling it all over again like a fresh wound, was gruelling. Freya pulled Kol to one side, sitting herself down, holding hands. She forced him to face her, to look her in the eyes whether or not it hurt. "I'm so sorry Kol." She apologised, rubbing his hand.

His eyes were aching, his head tilted to an angle as he stared ahead. "I can't do this without her."

she quivered. "I don't know what will happen years down the line, but you have to be strong...we're lucky that Sophia never gave up on you. That she fought for you till the end. I think without her, we're all lost, and I am sorry I blamed you, when in fact I should have ignored her and came straight to you."

He looked up at her and smiled. It was a small and very sad smile. "She was always stubborn she would have silenced you one way or another. You did what you thought was best...I never thought I'd ever be a father and when I found out it was already too late..." He fiddled with his letter after he broke free from Freya's hold.

"Have you not read it yet?"

He shook his head, tapping the letter against his knee. We watched him carefully peel it open and take out the folded paper. "My love, there are no rules with love. The heart decides what it wants and that's what really matters. In the midst of it all, through a crowded street it stands alone. Strong, resilient with an exuberant glow. More bedazzling than the stars, illuminating up a path yet that path is too far to reach. Even from afar, my love shines bright. My heart beats for you and you do not know just how much.

Loving an original vampire, was not something I planned on doing. It was an accident, but once I laid my eyes on you, that was it. There was no going back. You quite literally took my soul and wiped it clean. Many times, I caught myself wishing, I could loathe you simply because it would be easier. We wouldn't have fallen in love; I wouldn't have to feel the pain of being away from you and most of all, you wouldn't feel the pain of losing me. Marrying you was the best decision I ever made and If I could, I would do it again, a thousand times over.

I'm dying Kol, I've known for a while and there's nothing I or anyone else can do to fix it. I'm so sorry I lied to you and hid it from you. I couldn't bear the thought of you in pain. I knew you would be mad, hurt even. You would feel everything, but happiness and I didn't want to rob you of that. Time was never in our favour and i wish this wasn't goodbye but a see you later.

Thank you for choosing to love me. Thank you for coming into my life and turning it upside down. You are my first and last love. Always and forever, eternally yours."

"That's one heck of a letter." I said, snivelling.

"She did right by me, didn't she?" With tears in her eyes, Freya nodded. "And I have to do right by her." He added with a pained expression. Rising to his feet he called for the rest of us. We dashed to his side, eager to be there, be his support and his comfort. He smiled knowing we adored him and wanted nothing more than to be by his side. Always and forever. "I can't go a second without her. You know I will only revert back to my old ways and drive you all insane, which is why Nik..." He turned to our brooding brother. "I know every other time you've daggered me and placed me in a box I never asked for, I always hated you for it, but today...I implore that you dagger me once again."

"Kol! You can't! We won't let you!" We protested.

"This is madness!"

"You can't do this brother." Nik placed a hand on his shoulder. "I won't do it." He refused to partake in this nonsense. Nik wasn't that man anymore, he loved Kol too much to put him through that ever again.

"Please! Just this once I beg of you! Wake me up when she returns because I will drive myself insane trying to live without her. It's the only way. I won't feel the loss, the pain and the emptiness." The tears streaked down his face as he looked on with pleading eyes.

"Fine." Nik declared through his gritted teeth. There was a soreness in his throat when he was handed the fine, silver dagger. He saw the pain in those eyes. It had been sat there his entire life, wrapped in confusion. He saw the love too, the love that one day would be set free again. Staring at him, I knew Nik wanted to join Kol. Unlike Kol, there was no dagger in this world that could put him down. He wanted to cry out, but he waited wide eyed, heart in his mouth, hoping for Kol to change his mind.

"Nik..." I trebled. We waited for his response. His silence was unbearable. Silently we followed him out, down into the basement where a similar casket awaited. Releasing a shaky breath, he closed his eyes as Kol moved past him, opening the casket lid, and laying down.

"Come on Nik, it's not every day a sibling asks that they be daggered."

"Kol! This is not the time to joke around—it's not funny!" I chided, balling my fists, and huffing out.

"It's not funny." Freya sniffled but he chuckled finding humour in the situation.

"Come on, you have to admit it is a little funny, sisters."

"Oh, bloody hell!" Unfolding my arms I rushed to him, throwing my arms around him only to sob uncontrollably.

"Hush now dear sister, you'll see me again. Freya?" He opened up his arms to our older sister who stood as she shook her head in denial. Wiping away her tears she uncrossed her legs and strode to him, shaking as we embraced one another, refusing to let go.

"I love you." She whimpered. Defeated she pulled away and retraced her steps back.

"Elijah, don't just stand there."

"I'm not worried brother, I know you'll return to us soon, along with the drama." It was written all over his face. He was proud of him. Prouder than he could convey. From the Wily troublemaker to the deep lover. She truly changed him and brought out his light, his innocence and his ability to do right by her, the world be damned. Last but not least, it was Nik's turn. He stepped closer, placing a hand on Kol's shoulder.

"Go on then Nik..." he closed his eyes and waited for the all too familiar dagger, but it didn't come. Reopening his eyes he frowned, seeing his brother, staring at him with burning tears.

"I can't Kol." He gasped.

He tilted his head to the side. "It won't be the first time. It's okay."

He released a soft chuckle. "Today it isn't my choice to do it now is it, brother? Centuries ago, I made the choices but today, when it's out of my hands I'm helpless. I don't want to."

"You once told me you adore your youngest brother, so for the sake of that, I beg you do it." They looked at one another for one last time and said their silent goodbyes. Once again, he shut his eyes and lay back, waiting for Nik to do well on his word. Placing a hand on his shoulder he pushed the tip of the dagger in, gently pressing it further into his heart. With tears in our eyes, we watched the grey take over. It was painful to watch as the dagger went through him. I had to stifle my cry, clamping my mouth with a hand. Unable to watch his body turn grey and the way Nik let out a harsh gasp, I buried my face in Elijah's shoulder. He held me tight as I fought back my own sobs. We would have to spend a handful of bitter years without my brother Kol, and I wasn't ready for that. No matter how much he infuriated me, I loved him, and one member of the family missing was equally bad. Nik turned back, avoiding our eyes. He let those sparkling tears drop one by one. Crushed, I sprinted into his arms, and he held me for some time. "Both the people I love! Forced to wait for their awakening."

"We're here Nik. I'm not going anywhere. We will wait together." I stroked the back of his head as he let out deep breaths. I knew he was relaying the hurtful moments over and over again. He was never good with his feelings, so he pulled back and vamped away. Love made us strong, all the while leaving us exposed and vulnerable, I thought to myself as Freya held onto me. Her hug was stronger than anything I've ever known, as if holding me wasn't quite enough. I glanced back to where Kol lay, peaceful in his box he once hated but now he made his temporary home.

Sophia Salvatore made an impression on our family and my brothers. She swooped in and reawakened the love in our hearts. For that I adored her. My best friend. Losing her broke us and I assumed that was painful. It wasn't until Freya declared we'd have to wait years maybe even a decade or even a century for her rebirth. And that was far more painful. Freya weeped uncontrollably, still punishing herself.

I shut the door behind me, exiting the basement. All that was left to do was wait. However long it meant. Marcel pulled me into his arms, running his fingers through my hair, whispering into it. I closed my eyes and soaked in his warmth. He was my forever. He stuck by me, my family through thick and thin. I couldn't stay here without him and without knowing what he wanted. "What happens now?" I mumbled. He let out a soft yet heavy breath, making me hold on tighter.

"I want to stay here with you, and I have no issue with that. We made a vow and I vowed to follow you where you went Rebekah Gerard-Mikaelson." I gave a half laugh half sob. "We'll stay here and wait for your best friend to re-enter this world and we will go through it all, step by step."

I muttered into his chest. "Thank you." At first, I thought I wanted the cure, to be human and have children and grow old. It was what I wanted for so long but after revaluating all I have and my love, my life, being human was no longer appealing. Without Always and Forever my life was meaningless. The next coming days were going to be undoubtedly the hardest and most painful of ones. I worried for Nik. He had faced loss again. He disappeared into his study, no doubt painting away furiously. The silence throughout the house was unsettling. Without the Salvatores, without the constant bickering, the dancing and all the fun and games it was less of a home and more of a house.

As I glided around the house one last time, I entered every room and soaked up whatever memories were built into the walls. Something about surrounding myself in those memories was peaceful. I walked into her room to find Freya neatly packing in the magical objects and books back into a box. She glanced up. "They belong to her, so I'm putting them back and when she wakes up, we'll give them to her. After this, we've got all this to pack and move to the Greenwich house." She sighed. "I'll track down Aryton and the rest later."

The room had been left exactly the way it was when they last had been in it. Kol hung a large picture frame of the two of them and on the bedside was a small miniature frame of them on their wedding day. She was the most gorgeous bride we ever laid eyes on. Smiling ever so widely, I picked up the frame and brushed over the smiling couple with my fingers.

He was the happiest man. His eyes lit up as he gazed at the laughing bride. It was the picture I clicked. His arms were wrapped around her, and he gave her stomach a little tickle, making her burst into a fit of laughter. It caught my attention, and I knew it was a moment to be captured. It was beautiful and real. No posing, just two lovers at one with one another. "Amazing, aren't they?" Freya whispered, peering over my shoulder, resting her chin.

"Out of all the pictures, this is my favourite. Look at our brother."

She hummed. "I never thought there'll come a day where we'll see our brother in love and be more human than ever. Remember back in New Orleans, he made Davina fall in love with him just so he could use her. That's who Kol was."

I laughed because she was right. Aside from family he didn't care for anyone else. He played games and he loved it. Kol was a nightmare. "Yet we adore him just as much as we drive each other crazy." We remained in this moment as we gazed at the photo and spoke of the two of them with nothing but adulation. Sophia was the only other person to see my brothers as humans, people that cared and had feelings. It was why she fitted into the family so well. I wondered how life would have been had we not met her and had Kol not seen her. A better part of me knew she would have been alive and safe. She would have been better off without us. The selfish part of me wanted what could possibly break her.

"Have you read the letter yet?"

She shook her head. "Not yet. Did you?"

I sighed. "No. Perhaps in a couple of days I will."

She agreed.

The rest of the day we spent packing every last thing and sending it off to our new home. This place would remain desolate and out of reach for every living soul. Aurora, the anchor to the other side resided here. A simple spell left it unseen. To the outside world, it was nothing but a brick wall. I wondered whether there'd come a time, where we would revisit this place we once called home. Despite removing everything, it still contained all her memories, from start to finish. Elijah appeared by the doorway. "It's time we leave sister. Niklaus is waiting for us; You know he does not do too well when kept waiting."

"Yes, I know. I'm just waiting for Freya to finish up with the basement...". I sniffed quietly, wiping away my tears every few seconds. "Did you load Kol's casket in already?"

He nodded. "The van is already in transit; he should be with Niklaus soon."

There was no other thing left to do but leave. I didn't dare glance back at the house or the driveway. I walked straight ahead, my head held high and face set. Pushing all thoughts to the back of my mind, I climbed into the rover and turned my attention to the journey ahead.

Damon

Mystic Falls

The family crypt suddenly became too full, no more space left for anyone. She took up the final resting spot, right beside Enzo. I couldn't help but smile knowing Enzo was beaming with joy, wherever he was. She was with him now. She left us behind to join him. A teeny, tiny part of me harboured jealousy. Bonnie and Caroline lit the candles and placed red roses on her resting place. After years of pain, she was finally at peace, I tried convincing myself. "You're right about one thing Damon."

Halting at the entrance I glanced over my shoulder. "And what's that?"

"Our life is one big, proverbial coin toss."

I scoffed. "We never know what end we're getting.... heads we lose, tails we lose."

"I don't think I'm ready for this, Damon." It wasn't required for me to turn to see the pain in his expression, it was dripping from his tone, the way he spoke and the strangled cry he couldn't hold back any longer.

"We find other ways to keep us going, because if we don't, we'll fall deep, and she won't be there to pull us out."

"She will love us again, right?"

I mulled over that thought for a few seconds, twisting my daylight ring, hoping it would give me a clear answer. "I don't know...we can only hope so, Stefan." Leaving him behind in the crypt I walked off, looking up at the empty sky. The sun was shining yet there was no warmth from it. The birds flew from tree to tree, yet their sounds muted. Despite the world being in colour, things were bleak.

Stefan

A month dragged by, and I still couldn't cope with her being gone. Writing in my journal was useless and disappointing. I couldn't control the rage, the bitterness, and my pain. I thought as the days went by, I would be okay, that it wouldn't hurt too much. There was no news from the Mikaelsons. The bud hadn't opened. I was beginning to lose faith. Caroline did her best to placate me, comfort me and offer her support but it didn't matter, When the loss of my sister overpowered everything else. I saw her in everything! Seeing other siblings, alive and happy sparked an intense jealousy and spitefulness in me.

They had their siblings; they had their sisters but Damon and I didn't. In the end we were left with nothing. All this talk of salvation and redemption, what was the purpose if the one who was to deliver it was gone? I glanced around me, my journals and books scattered around the room. Damon was worse. He fell back into drinking to drown out the sorrows. Just like every other day, it had no effect. He'd lash out in anger, damage things, break whatever was in his path. Many times I saw the switch in his eyes flicker. He was so close to shutting it off, but he restrained for Bonnie who begged him to stay with her.

Since Elijah handed me my letter, I dared not opened it, not even give it a glance. It remained tucked in her journal. Making my way to the shelf where it was kept, I pulled it out and the envelope drifted down to the floor. Squatting down, scooping it up with one hand, i bounced back. Feeling how light it was, it made me wonder; while she was writing, did it unburden her soul? Gently breaking the seal, I took out the cream-coloured sheet. Holding my breath, unfolding it, and letting the contents evaporate my walls.

Dear Stefan,

How lucky am I to have been blessed with not one but two brothers? In this short span of borrowed time, I have learnt so much from you both. I have many powerful men in my life who have shown me that it is possible to be a tender and vulnerable man, and that to be this way is a true strength, not a weakness. Family isn't as clear cut as it may sound and that it is complex and complicated but, in the end, when you truly love someone, you would go to any lengths to protect them and to see them survive even if it means you have to bite the dust yourself.

I am so sorry for not telling you this in person but i guess I'm like Damon, choosing to explain myself in a letter. I'm dying brother and there's nothing I or anyone else can do to change it. I apologise for the hurt and suffering it will cause you, but I did not want to hurt you by giving you false hope. I couldn't stand there and watch you fall apart. I've done a lot of crappy things to you and for that I am gravely sorry.

I know how strong you are and that is what makes you the man you are today. I know I never took too kindly to you on my arrival and our first encounter but i got used to you. Being around you brought me true happiness. You need to know that it's okay that I'm gone, and not to think it unfair. I'll be okay. I need you to hold on for our brother, for Caroline and for Bonnie. I need you to be there for them, especially Damon. Only you can handle them and keep them happy in ways I couldn't. You believed me to be your salvation, your saviour but the truth is, you were the one who saved me. I needed you more than you needed me. Please don't be afraid. I am truly grateful for the time we had together, and I have no complaints. Don't let Damon fall apart, it's the last thing I ask of you.

Thank you for loving me, for saving me and for always standing by my side. I know I have not expressed this openly, but I forgive you.

With all my love,

Your sister.

Just like that, the weight on me lifted and I could breathe again. I had to be strong. I couldn't fall apart and lose myself. I needed to carry out her wish. I had to be there for my family. Tucking the letter in my back pocket, I hurried out the room.

The house fell silent without Bonnie and Caroline. They grieved in their own way. When being home was too much, they would go for walks, visit places she enjoyed and loved about Mystic Falls. They often felt their pain was overlooked. They grieved too as they loved her just as much as we did but perhaps, we were too selfish to realise they lost her too and consider how they felt. Loss does that to you, it makes you act out in ways unimaginable. They wanted to surround themselves with her memories, cook her favourite dishes and when that all became too overwhelming, they would hide away. Both women felt like they had to be strong for Damon and I. We forgot they required our love and affection, but we failed. "Damon?" I called out, walking around the house.

"In here." He mumbled from the throne room. He wasn't drinking this time, he was in his chair, hands hanging over the arms and staring into the fire. The crackling of the fire was rampant. Taking the seat adjacent to his, I leant back and closed my eyes.

"We're not doing so great, are we?" I scoffed, finding humour in the situation.

"No-no we're not doing great, and it sucks there's nothing we can do! I don't know why, but I always thought she'd never leave us."

"We always talk of dying for each other and walking to hell and back but in the end she did die. She died for us. My only regret...is not getting enough time with her."

"I'm scared Stefan." He quavered.

"Me too." I answered. I was scared she wouldn't love us the way she did in this life. I was scared in the next life; I would mean nothing to her. We jumped to our feet to the sound of the front door blowing open. Fast, running footsteps. Caroline plunged into the parlour, with a tear-streaked face.

"I can't find Bonnie!" She agonised.

"What do you mean?" Damon hounded her.

"I mean one minute she was shopping in the next aisle and the next she was gone! I tried her phone, I tried everything but nothing!" She erupted into tears, her body trembling as she sobbed into her hands.

"Where is Bonnie?!" He growled.

"I don't know!" She cried.

Damon grabbed his phone, making several attempts to contact her but nothing. On the seventh try, her phone switched off. We exchanged worried glances, second-guessing ourselves. He shot me a second pained gaze. "Something's wrong..." the words came out strangled.

Caroline paced up and down the room, wringing her hands. "Maybe we can call Freya, ask her to do a locating spell?" She suggested, pausing her fast pacing.

Damon nodded. Immediately he was on the phone to Freya. Leaving it on speaker phone, we waited for her to begin the spell. Minutes ticked by and nothing. There was no sign of her, not a single location mark. "I can't locate her, I'm sorry Damon."

He stood still, unblinking, staring straight ahead. "Damon?" I hesitated.

A brown, burnt piece of paper floated down to his feet. Bending down, he snatched it up and read the line etched with dark, red ink. "Blood..." he trailed off.

"What does it say?" I stepped closer, reaching out for the note. The note slipped from his hand, and I caught it with one swift motion. Raising the note to my eyes, I squeezed them shut. She's gone. Was what it said. Bonnie was gone and we would never see her again. My eyes snapped back to my brother, he was trembling with balled fists. His eyes heavy with emotion, tears formed and rolled down. Defeated. It terrified me. "Damon?"

He shot me a seething look. I shook my head pleading him not to, knowing what he wanted. "Why Stefan? Why should I hold on? There's nothing left for me to hold on! Sophia's dead and Bonnie's gone! I have nothing!" He roared, turning, and slamming his fist into the wall. The space he attacked caved in, creating a gaping hole.

"I need you, Damon! Please don't leave me!"

"What do want me to do Stefan!" He vamped sped to me. "Take a deep breath, calm down and be okay?" I remained silent, not knowing what to say. He staggered back, straightened his back, and closed his eyes. I was supposed to be there for him.

I shook him violently. "No Damon! Don't!" He grabbed me and hurled me across the room. Using my speed, I bolted to my feet but it was already too late. He turned it off and vanished. I spun around, repeatedly ramming my fist into the wall in front. He left me, all over again. He abandoned me when I needed him the most and it loaded me with rage. I continued slamming my fist in the wall, creating another hole. Caroline held onto my arm.

"You're scaring me! Please stop!" She pleaded, her sobs becoming distressing. She pulled me back. Anger pumped through my blood stream. Despite how horrified she was, she hugged me tight, nestling her head in my chest. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak and nor could I settle my rampaging thoughts. I stood in her arms, hot tears streaming down my face, letting it all out before I pulled myself together and worked to get my brother back. I couldn't let my siblings down.

~

She glanced down at her watch, timing exactly how long it took him to arrive. No longer was she afraid, hopeless, and helpless. She knew him for who he really was. It didn't take her long to figure it out, join up all the dots for things to become clear. During her time away, she did the necessary research. The seconds ticked by and she waited ever so patiently, knowing even if he resisted, she would drag him before her feet. At last, he arrived with a scowl etched on his face, one she once deemed beautiful. He resembled them but was nothing like them. They were noble, loyal and filled with pure light.

"What do you want?" He lashed out. Flicking her hand, the asphyxiation process began. She watched amused as he grasped at his throat for breath, but his vampiric side stopped him from dying, making the process that much more painful.

"I'm not that weak seventeen-year-old girl you met months back! You've seen me love you and now, now you'll feel my wrath."

He spat out the blood that collected in his mouth and seethed at her. It was then he had immense regret of letting her go. He cursed himself for letting humanity get the better of him. "What do you want?"

"I know who you really are Henry...or shall I say Henrik Mikaelson?" Her each word loud and clear. His face turned pale, eyes wide and alarmed. Moments passed and the alarm turned into sheer mirth.

"You're not as weak as I presumed you were."

"What do you want?" She snapped, her hand hovering mid-air, hesitant to attack.

"My family." He answered solemnly. Slowly, her raised hand lowered down to her side. There was a sincerity in his voice, in his eyes. The hold on him dropped and he hung his head low.

"When you broke up with me, you said you wanted Sophia..." her voice quavered.

He took a deep breath and then exhaled out, almost trembling. "She was a way to get through to them—to my family. In the end, it doesn't matter she's gone now, there's literally no point of revenge."

She listened to his explanation, careful not to disclose what she knew. Sophia would return and she had to ensure she would be safe from Henrik. "Whatever your reasons are, I don't care, but I want you gone! I see you anywhere near here, I'll kill you myself. I know it was you that buried Sophia alive and then you played hero in the end. You're a traitor Henrik!" She jabbed here finger at him, yelling through the burning tears. "Leave and never show your face here again!"

He simply glared at her, clenching fists, and biting back on his venomous words. Turning away he sped off, leaving behind a gust of wind that disrupted the stillness of her hair.