She's gone

I woke up the next morning still blanking on what to say to Nana when I see her, how am I ever going to be able to convince her to not only forgive me but also come back to America with me. I can only hope that she'll forgive me, I truly do love her!

I went down stairs to have breakfast with my parents, "Morning mom, dad. How'd you sleep?"

"Good son, how about you?" my mother inquired

"I slept pretty good." I replied

I sat down and started eating, "So what are your plans for today son?" My dad asked as he folded his paper and set it down to eat. "I was thinking we could go up to your grand parents graves and clean them up and light some incents for them. What do you think?"

"Actually I was hoping to see Nana today, there is a lot I need to talk to her about and not much time to do it. Does she still live in her family mansion in the forest on the mountain?" I asked

"Um, I think it would be better to visit your grandparents graves first and talk to her maybe tomorrow." My mother said as she averted eye contact with me.

"I'd rather go see her now mom, I'll visit there graves later today."

"No, I think that you should go now, you might forget or not have time, it's best to go now."

"Mom don't worry I would never forget to visit there graves, plus if I go later it will give me some time to pick up an offering for them." I replied.

My mother quieted down for a second and turned her eyes to my father, "Your mother is right, the grave yard closes early today so we need to go early. We should also go to the shrine and say a pray and also make an offering. The shrine hasn't been doing to well lately. I've been going and volunteering to help out for some time, now that your back you should come and help me out, you probably don't visit any shrines in America." my dad said with a scary serious expression on his face.

"Well ya they don't have shrines in America, I'll dedicate all of tomorrow to going and paying respect to grandma and grandpa and helping you at the shrine. But for today I need to go see Nana, Is something going on, you guys are acting weird? It's as if you guys don't want me to see her"

My mother and fathers expressions saddened. My mother took a deep breath, put her chopsticks down and turned to face me.

"Son there is something important you need to know, your father and I have been keeping it from you but I think it's time you knew. When you left you asked us to keep an eye on Nana for you because she was still a friend to you and we did just that, however two years after you left Nana's parent both died in a tragic car accident. Nana was devastated, we thought we contacted you to let you know, we simply told you to come for a visit but before we could tell you why you told us you were at a very important time in your work and if you had left your company's stocks would plummet and the company would go bankrupt. We knew if we told you, you would drop everything and come back and then those two years that you worked so hard would have been for nothing, so we didn't tell you and just helped her through it ourselves." I cut her off and shouted,

"What, then this is even more of a reason I need to go see her now. I need to tell her I'm sorry for not being there for her and helping her through that tough time!" I started standing up when my mother grabbed hold of my arm and pulled me down.

"Wait there is more that we need to tell you."

"What else did you keep from me? What's happened while I've been gone? Every time I asked you said everything was ok and to just stay in America and keep working hard!" I shouted at her

"SON! Stop yelling at your mother, we both agreed that what we did was within your best interest. If we had told you the truth who knows where you would be right now, but you certainly wouldn't be the CEO of a million dollar company that much is certain."

I calmed down after thinking about what my dad said, took a deep breath and sat back down calmly, "ok, I understand why you did what you did I guess. But what else is there to tell me?" I turned my attention back at my mother.

"Well you see, after there deaths Nana fell into a deep depression. We helped her through it and made sure nothing bad happened to her, we got her help, medicine and even made her live with us until she was ok again. But after about 6 months of living with us she said she was fine and was ready to return home, the doctors even agreed that she would be ok. We took her to her house and stayed with her a few days Incase she had a relapse after seeing her house, she was fine though as we left. We saw her around town and she was doing good for a while, but.." She paused, a look of remorse took over her face as she turned her attention to my father.

My father interrupted and said "I'll tell him, after a while she fell back into her depression worse then before, but no one realized because she hid it. One day she stopped answering our calls and we didn't see her in town, your mother gave me a call when I was volunteering at the shrine and asked me to stop by and check on her. I finished working around sunset and headed over to her house straight away, the door was unlocked when I arrived. I called her name numerous times but she didn't answer, I entered her house and looked around.."

I interrupted him "Dad, what did you find? Get to the point already!" I shouted nervously, I could feel myself going into a cold sweat.

"Calm down, I'm getting there. I went in to her room and found a puddle of water leading out from the bathroom, I knocked and no one answered, so I went in and found the tub running. I turned off the water and looked around but i didnt find her. I kept searching around the house and noticed her parents rooms door was open, My heart starting beating so fast i thought I was having a heart attack, I ran through and found her hanging from the cieling. she had taken her own life, I cut her down, called an ambulance, and performed cpr on her till they came but she didnt make it. I'm sorry son."

My mother and fathers lowered there heads in shame, my mother began to cry. "Your joking right? you told me she was fine! why didnt you tell me!?" I scream as I slammed my hand down on the table and stood up.

"We didnt tell you for the same reason we didnt tell you about her parents death. You were at a very important time in your career, she was already gone there was nothing you could do for ehr but we knew that you would throw everything away to come just for her funeral. I'm sorry son, we thougth we were doing the right thing."

My vision went blurry, I was definatly in a cold sweat and I couldnt really feel my limbs, oh I think I'm about to faint. I heard the muffled sound of my parents voice and a thump, I think that was me hitting the floor. I guess I really did faint, damn it.