No one to blame, but myself

What is that sound, I can faintly hear something beeping. What is it though? Everything is dark, what happened? Oh right I fainted after mom and dad told me something, but what was it? I cant quiet recall what they told me, it was definitely something important. How could I possible forget something important? What was it?

I slowly open my eyes, there was a bright light above me, I turned away from it and raised my hand in front of my eyes to shield them. "Ugh, where am I." I groaned as I rubbed my eyes trying to get myself awake.

"Oh thank god your awake, I was so worried!" I turn to find my mother sitting next to me, I was lying in a hospital bed. "Don't worry mom I'm ok, just a little shook up. I just can't really remember what happened, I remember you, dad, and I sitting together eating and you told me....." I finally realized what I had forgotten, everything came rushing back to me. Nana, they told me she killed herself. Idiot how could I forget that, "mom I have to go, I need to go to Nanas house now!" I jolted up form the hospital bed and quickly fell to ground, my legs gave out on me.

"Ow, what the hell! Why wont my legs move?"

"Max you need to calm down." I turned my head to the door way where the voice came from, there stood a man in a lab coat.

"I'm assuming your doctor, good get my legs moving and then discharge me. I need to get going." My mother came around to my side and helped me sit up on the floor.

"No can do Max, your staying right here in that bed. You suffered a great shock and it had a bad backlash on your body, both mentally and physically."

"Excuse me, I didn't ask for your opinion. I TOLD you to do your job and get my legs moving and then discharge me now." I shouted at the man.

"Sweetheart you need to calm down, he's just trying to do whats best for you." My mother said with a worried expression across her face. I always hated to see that look on her face, I could never resist but do what she wanted when she had the expression on her face. But this time I have to this time, for Nana.

"Sorry mom, but I need to go now." I stated.

"Where?" the doctor asked.

"I need to got Nana's house."

"what will that accomplish, news flash she died years ago. She's gone and barried in the ground already, probably all decomposed too. Do you think going back to her house will accomplish anything, all you'll find is a dirty old empty house. You wont even find the nuce she used if thats something your looking for, the police took it away when they cleaned up the seen, by now its probably been dispozed of considering how long ago it was."

He was right, why did I wanna go back? I just think I need go and see where it happened, to see her house. I need to figure out what I'm gonna do now, I don't know what going there is going to accomplish, I just know that I need to go.

The doctor walked out of the room while I was lost in thought and two male nurses came in and helped me get back into the hospital bed. "I apologize for him, he's a great doctor but his people skills need a lot of work. I understand that you need to go, but if you cooperate with us you should be out of here by tomorrow morning. Your really just shook up and that's why your legs gave out, stay on your IV, take your time to get back on your feet, and we will run a couple of tests on you and before you know it you'll be out of here."

"Thanks, I just need sometime to put my thoughts together. Mind if we do those tests later?" I asked as I leaned back in bed and threw my arm over my eyes.

"Ya sure no problem, take all the time you need. I'll come back around dinner time and if you feel well enough we can do them then." The nurse said and then proceded to walk out.

I have no clue what i'm suppoused to do now, I came here to find her because even after 7 years I couldnt forget her. Now she's gone, and it's probably my fault. If I had been there for her when her parents died I could have stopped her from ever getting to that point, if I had just come back for a visit or something I would have known I could have helped her.

Eventually my mother left and returned home, but even when she was here we didnt really talk I was too lost in my thoughts. The nurse returned at dinner time as he said and asked, "Hi again, so are you ready for the tests now?"

"Ya as ready as I can get right now." I replied.

"Alright would you like to eat dinner first then go get them done or after?"

"Now, I don't really have much of an appetite at the moment."

"Alright then lets get you up and go, your legs shouldnt be shook up anymore, but Ill be here next to you if you need to lean on something when you walk." I slowly rolled out of bed and let my legs hovor above the ground for a second while feeling returned to them, they felt fine so I hoped off the bed. The nurse was right my legs are fine now, guess I really was just shook up before. He lead me down to the lab to get the tests done, they didnt take long, I just got some blood taken, gave them soem urine, and got my basic vitals taken.

The nurse said that all my tests turned out fine, so he got the doctor to sign my release papers, they said when my parents return inthe morning I can leave. I have one night to think about what on earth I'm going to do now, it really isnt enough time.