The Blackened Saint

The main character finds peace in the end always right? Even if they die, at least they died. So why couldn't that have happened to me.

What did I do to deserve all this. Why am I the tragic female lead. Why won't they listen to me. The people that promised to always protect me.

All for the villainess. The person who put me through the most trouble. The person who almost killed me in an attempt to save herself.

Why won't they just let me die? Why am I still alive? Why are they all so attracted to her. Just because she stopped her attempts on my life and stopped openly courting them? Is that truly why they love her?

The people that swore their love to me?

Is indifference the only way to make them sway in the direction of you. Did they truly only like me because I refused their courting.

But she obviously still liked them. Even after she changed. Did they never see the obvious glances of lust and love.

Now I'm getting punished because of her actions. She put many lives at stake when I tried to stop her. Why is everyone blaming me. I saved her life and became crippled. Oh how cruel fate is.

I know I'm in a novel. A novel where the villainess becomes the good guy and the heroine is a twisted manipulator that has a mind of her own.

I feel the hatred of the readers that love their strong female lead but hate the weak and evil "heroine". I know the author never included anything about me saving and protecting her. I know that the main character everyone loves is exactly what "I" am described. A selfish and evil manipulator.

Maybe I was destined to become the blackened saint.

Maybe I was destined to become a crazy heroine.

Maybe I should try to kill her.

~

How unfair it is. Why did she point her fingers at me.

It wasn't me! Please listen!

But they couldn't. She has already cut off my tongue.

They hold her in their arms like they did with me. They consoled an "innocent" person like they did with me.

Falling in love with them was the worst mistake I've ever made.

Even though I still have my saint powers, her dark magic compressed it. They all supported her when they found out she could use dark magic. She harmed people with that magic but it was fine right?

How come when she accused me of using it, it was suddenly a problem.

The public doesn't even know about her dark magic. I bet she manipulated them into believing her.

Now I live my life forever as the wicked saint who used dark magic for her own greed. She was past down through history as the female empress who destroyed all evil and defeated the wicked saint.

Isn't it funny how still no one knows about her dark magic?

It must've been my destiny to be the Blackened Saint.

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Explanation because it might've been confusing-

I based this off of all those "evil reincarnated saint vs good reincarnated villainess" troupes.

Ok so basically the heroine used dark magic but it messed up her head. She lived under the impression that she did nothing wrong because the dark magic and the light magic fighting with each other in her body caused her memories to be replaced with fake ones. In her memories, she saved the villainess, because crippled, and didn't do anything wrong but in reality, she never saved the villainess, but instead she was the one trying to kill her. She became crippled because the villainess's suitors/love interests saved the villainess and punished her. The villainess didn't have dark magic, it was actually just her "memories". The memories she had before her attempt to kill the villainess were all real but when she was planning on killing her, that's when her memories got altered, and her memories of harming the villainess in general were changed