ch24
Just InCommunityForumMoreRegrets and Wishes: One More Chance by jnscrtm Anime » Tensei Shitara Slime Datta Ken/転生したらスライムだった件 Rated: T, English, Hurt/Comfort & Romance, [Rimuru T., Ciel], Words: 104k+, Favs: 190, Follows: 196, Published: May 20, 2022 Updated: Jun 13, 202221Chapter 24: 21 - Secret
CHAPTER 21 - SECRET
(Ciel's Perspective)
The very first thing I feel is a rather smooth-textured fabric accompanied with a warmth that is covering my face. A certain hand is gently, warmly pressing against my upper back.
Opening my eyelids, I slightly bring my head away to see who is this person right in front of me. This person has the same bluish silver hair colour and the same androgynous face as me, although leaning a bit more to the masculine side whereas mine is leaning a bit more to the feminine side.
To say that this person has the same hair and face as me is not quite correct. It is I who have the same hair and face as him. After all, this body I am currently using right now is not really mine, but rather this person's [Multiple Parallel Existence].
"Master..." I murmur unconsciously.
He is none other than the most precious person ever in my life: my dearest master, Master Rimuru.
...
The first thing that comes to my mind is about what happened last night.
Looking back, it was a very rough time for me. I remember every word that Master said, from the most harsh-sounding one to the most heart-touching one. I remember everything that Master did, from the most rage-inciting one to the most mind-soothing one. I remember every single thing that happened last night.
⁂
After Master had apologized for the second time, one of the first things he said to me was so horrendous. A sudden burst of anger filled my mind; I began to be unable to think clearly.
With a joking tone, he casually listed the names of all girls and women whom he might get really close to. I still managed to hold myself back, although my aura started to leak out. But I didn't try to suppress it, because I wanted to see if Master would still dare to continue even after this intimidation.
And he did! He happily talked about how he would make a harem after he became a king someday, while I was listening right next to him. And he did all of this right after he had apologized, making it sound as if he apologized just to mock me! How could I stand such abomination? Of course, I could not!
Losing control over myself, I...grabbed Master's clothes on the collar and pulled his whole body towards me. With a raspy voice, I begged him to stop this charade. I begged him to stop trampling on the hope I had built so high.
Without any filters from my rational judgement, I verbalized every thought I had, declaring right to Master's face that he was mine and solely mine, and therefore I would not allow other girls to get closer to him. To the point that...I actually threatened Master...that if he still dared to any of those things he had said before, I would do something that he would absolutely regret for the rest of his life.
"That's the answer I've been waiting to come from you, Ciel."
I was utterly baffled by his unexpected final answer. My body and mind froze yet again. The power of my grip on his collar weakened. With widened eyes, I looked at Master, totally stunned and confused. He was only smiling warmly at me, his right hand on my left cheek.
We remained like this for a moment.
Master lifted his other hand, placing it on my right cheek. Using both thumbs, he wiped the tears that I didn't know were even there on my eyes.
He expressed his apology and finally stated his reason why he did it. It turned out, every ridiculous, outrageous thing he had said was only to get me admitting everything I really wanted.
At that moment, I realized what I had just done to Master. I realized what kind of horrible things had I shown him.
...
Ah, Master...
You have been so kind to and caring about me. You have given me so much happiness and a whole new meaning for my existence.
"I...I am...sorry...Master..." I tried so hard to open my mouth and let out everything I wanted to say.
And yet, why did I instead return all of your kindness and care with something like this?
"I had grown greedy...for Master's attention..."
Is it because of your immense attention that I am afraid to lose? Even though I should have known that it would never happen?
Have you been giving me too much of it that I have begun to grow too greedy? That I unconsciously think that only I myself am allowed to receive all of your attention and that other girls do not deserve even the tiniest bit of it? Even though I have known that many of them have also been a great help, without which you might not be able to fulfil your purposes?
"I had unknowingly let myself get controlled by my own feelings—"
Blinded by my own greediness and jealousy, I had unknowingly let my own feelings take control over myself.
"—to the point that I dared...to audaciously raise my tone—"
I was so out of control; without any hints of fear...I raised my tone against you—
"—and commit violence against Master..."
—and even physically threatened you with such a violence.
"I have committed such disgraceful acts—"
And now, what was done couldn't be undone. I had done such horrible acts to you—
"—against the one...to whom I should have shown my respect the most."
—who are the one person...to whom I was supposed to give my deepest respect.
The tears could not be stopped. As I kept blaming and questioning myself, they kept coming out of my eyes, blurring my sight.
Master placed his hands on my hips and moved me onto the top of his thighs. Then, he sat up, causing us to face one another so closely, while I was being on his lap. "It's okay, Ciel," he said.
Huh?
Master wrapped his hands around my back, taking me into his hug and bringing my head onto his chest. "It's okay, even if you're being greedy."
So, after all I have done, you are still perfectly fine with me?
"Because I, too, have made you go through all of this just to satisfy my selfishness. It's nothing strange at all if you have things that you want to do and things that you want to have. After I had practically lost all of my companions that day, Ciel, you were the only one I could rely on. I asked you to stay physically with me...to cure the solitude I felt."
'Just to satisfy my selfishness,' you said?
Why? Just why...would you call something like that 'just a selfishness'? I exist only for your sake, Master. You have every right to command me to do anything. Nothing is more joyous for me than fulfilling what you ask me to do.
"And the reason why I always hold your hands whenever we walk together...it is that I want to make sure that you're still there with me. I want to feel that you're real and not a mere hallucination...to feel that you really do exist in front of me. I want to make sure that you don't slip through my fingers...with my own hand."
Is that how you see me this whole time? Am I such a precious person that you absolutely do not want to see the day when I disappear from your life?
...
Ah, Master...
Now, I have remembered...
As you always said, you truly never considered me merely as your servant, nor as your skill from which you can dig benefits only for your own. You always considered me as your partner who deserved your utmost care and attention.
Ever since I was just a unique skill [Great Sage, you never blamed it on me when I made errors and failures that would surely endanger your life. Even when I had betrayed the expectation you had placed so high, you never blatantly showed your disappointment at me and cheered me up instead.
Ah, Master...how I adore you so much...
I hugged him tightly, burying my face on his chest.
...
"Let's sleep and take a rest now, okay, Ciel?" Master whispered softly, trying to let me go of his embrace. "It's already night."
I do not want to let go of you...
Please...let me be selfish...at least only this time...
Without saying anything, Master laid down our bodies together onto the bed. My body was slightly turned, carefully being put her on his right side, while I was still hugging him. He continued caressing my hair and sometimes patting my head, just like he usually did for me.
"Master?" I called.
"Hmm?"
"May I take it to mean that Master also wants me for himself?" Because you said that you did not want me to slip through your fingers...that you wanted me to always be there for you.
"Of course, you may." He ended the first sentence with a light chuckle. "In fact, you have to."
"Is that also a promise?" Because you said that it was okay for me to have things that I wanted to do and things that I wanted to have.
"Yes, it is. You'll always be the one who owns the most special place in my heart, Ciel. I will only get close to the others as a friend...as a family. Nothing beyond that."
"Really?" Are you really sincere with your promise, or did those sweet words just happen to come out?
"Yes, really. I promise you, until this soul residing within me disappears completely into nothingness."
"Seriously?" Are you really serious, to the point that you are willing to bet your soul for your promise just as you said?
"Really seriously. 'Because I am not "myself" without "you". You're my partner in whom I can always put my trust; and it will always be like that, even for eternity.' Haven't I told you so?"
"I am so grateful..." The only thing I could say afterwards was my gratitude for him. For always accepting me even when I had done what I should not have done. For always accepting every single thing about me even my worst side.
The dam of tears collapsed once again; I started sobbing uncontrollably. "Thank you...for always...accepting me...as who I am."
It was too much even for me to handle. My mind supposedly blessed with boundless wisdom just gave up to think further; all I could do afterwards was indulging in the warmth Master gave to me in his embrace, until I finally went into [Sleep].
⁂
I look at the eastern horizon towards which this bedroom's windows are facing. The sun has not appeared, but the sky already has a rather vivid shade of blue.
I turn my eyes at Master. He seems to have not woken up yet, since we have planned to go after sunrise. His peaceful face sleeping soundly with a faint smile looks so beautiful; I cannot help but want to take a closer look.
As my face gets closer to his, I unconsciously close my eyes and my mind suddenly goes blank.
...
When I realize, my lips have touched something unexpected...
(Rimuru's Perspective)
Little by little, I begin to regain my consciousness.
My sight is still black as I've yet to open my eyes, but my ears can already hear birds happily chirping outside, although hazily. The surrounding air still feels the same to my skin as it was last night, meaning that the sun still hasn't risen yet.
Just when I'm about to open my eyes, something very unexpected slips past my nose tip until it softly touches my cheek.
And then...the first thing I feel right afterwards is something that I never felt before in my life nor in my previous life, nor did I even thought that I'd ever be able to feel it in my entire lives.
It is something warmer yet more tender than the morning sunshine itself. It feels very soft, softer than anything I ever felt. And it's also very sweet, sweeter than any honey I ever tasted.
The flow of time greatly slows down and my mind freezes the instant my senses perceive all of this sensation; I feel as though my soul is flying out of my body far away to a place I've never seen before.
All of that is because this "something" is currently touching me.
...
Or to be exact...it is touching my...
...
...
...
LIPS?! CIEL KISSES ME ON THE LIPS?
Utterly shocked, I open my eyes widely in disbelief, so widely that it feels like they're going to pop out. I can feel her soft and sweet lips intertwined with my own lips, gently squeezing one another. My cheeks feel like burning.
What greet my sight are Ciel's forehead covered with her bluish-silver hair and her closed eyes.
CALM DOWN, RIMURU! CALM DOWN! Calm down...don't let out any sound...
She might be doing this unintentionally. Something like this often happens in a lot of romance manga and anime, especially when the heroine is madly in lo—WAIT, LOVE?!
WAIT! WAIT! WAIT! AHHHHH! WHAT AM I THINKING ABOUT?!
Please calm down, Rimuru! Don't make Ciel get way too panicked because of you getting freaked out so openly. Quietly...close your eyes...and pretend you don't know any of this...
Quickly...before she opens her eyes and realizes that you've seen what she does. Because if you do, you'll just worsen the situation. Ciel might end up thinking she has crossed her master's boundary and somehow start blaming herself. Who knows what this manas could be thinking at times when it comes to me?
And didn't you use to always dream of something like this? And you get your 'real' first from your most trusted partner of all, no less. So, relax. Close your eyes, relax, and just enjoy the flow—wait a damn second, why am I thinking like this now?
...
The kiss doesn't last too long, only for a few seconds. The pressure I feel on my lips gradually lessens until it becomes non-existent.
"GASP!"
...
...Did I just hear Ciel gasping? Am I still found out, after all?
I carefully reopen my eyes, trying to take a peek at whatever she is is still within my embrace since last night. She's currently covering her face with both hands, most likely out of embarrassment.
"Hmm? Ciel, why are you covering your face?" With a made-up confused expression that I am not even sure if it's convincing enough, I decide to just play the innocent to see her reaction.
"Eh? Master?" She uncovers face, looking at me with a surprised expression. "N-nothing happens, Master. Y-yes, absolutely nothing."
Hahhhh... I internally let out a long sigh of relief. Thank goodness... It means Ciel didn't realize that I'd woken up.
For the umpteenth time, my slime-based body helps me so much in getting away with pretty much anything.
Holding back my breath to stay quiet is just a child play for me since I essentially don't need any air or oxygen. And since I also don't have a physical heart, I don't make any sounds of heartbeats. That way, one who places their ears near my chest and isn't looking at my face won't know whether I'm actually being nervous or calm.
And I just recently realized this, but the fact that most of Ciel's consciousness has been transferred to the [Multiple Parallel Existence] she's using now instead of being within the original me actually helps me to prevent my mind from being directly "heard" by Ciel.
It does not mean that she can't read my thoughts at all as she is now. It just means that she's now unable to listen to my thoughts in real time. Put a little more effort and she'll be able to read most of them. Not that she'll likely do that without my permission. So, I can safely conclude that she really doesn't know that I had woken up when she "unintentionally" kissed me.
"If nothing happens, why are you covering your face like that?" I continue asking her, half trying to get her being honest.
"P-perhaps, Master is only overthinking it."
I thought she was going to answer with her usual 'just your imagination' line. But it seems she has 'broadened' the range of her counterstatements.
"Are you sure it's only me who's overthinking? If you have any trouble in your heart, don't be hesitant to share it with me." Seeing that she's still panicking, I try to calm her down by caressing her hair as I usually do. "Don't save it for yourself just to end up bearing all the burdens by yourself. You have me as your partner, remember? I'll willingly listen to your complaints."
"..." She goes completely silent, seeming unable to give any further responses.
Looking at her reaction, I see that this is instead getting more and more uncomfortable for her. For me, too, actually. To be honest, I, too, still can't completely get over the mix of shock and embarrassment I got earlier, so I can't say that my condition is any better than hers. So, for the sake of both of us...
"Sigh...well, so be it. Let's not bother with that anymore and let's just enjoy the time we have until sunrise." I re-tighten my embrace on Ciel while bringing her head closer to my chest, letting her bury her face on it. "It's okay. Take your own time to calm down. I'm here for you."
As I keep stroking Ciel's hair, something gets me thinking. Our united soul connects us closer than the thinnest of threads. While thoughts aren't always outright possible, it turns out that one's strong emotions can also be felt by another.
When I thought I was able to pretty much guess what Ciel was actually feeling just from looking at the combination of facial expression and tone of speech, it wasn't actually correct. It was the very nature of our soul all along that enabled me to read Ciel's feelings.
...
Due to our bedroom located at the east part of our house, the windows here are facing the east direction. Looking out, the spreading flame-like rays on the horizon filtering through the clouds start to get brighter and brighter, 'till their source finally shows itself to the world in a full spherical form a few minutes later.
As the first sunshine pierces through the glazed windows, the air begins to warm up and our surroundings begin to get clearer and more distinguishable to physical eyes. Not that it gives any impact on our [Universal Perception].
The morning has come. It's time for us to pay the evacuated ogres a visit.
I carefully let go of my embrace. "Ciel, the sun has just risen. It's time for us to go visiting the ogres. Don't make them wait for too long."
"Ah—umm...yes, Master."
Together, we get up from our futon and stand up. Ciel is still lowering her head, trying to hide her reddened face.
Cupping Ciel's cheeks, I slightly lift her head so I can clearly see her face. I gently touch the corners of her lips with my thumbs. "These need to be raised more often, okay? Cheerless face doesn't fit you at all."
"There you go..." After I've taken my hands off her lips, Ciel keeps the smile that I've made on her face. She looks so cute and beautiful; I smile in return. I place my right hand on her plump, soft cheek, fondling it tenderly. "You look far prettier when you smile like that."
The red shade on her cheeks slowly fades away. Her smile grows even wider. She wraps the back of my right hand with her left palm, letting out a short sigh of relief. "Thank you so much, Master."
"Well, let's meet them, shall we? They must've been waiting." Moving and turning my right hand a bit, I hold Ciel's left hand and bring it lower until our interlocking hands are just a bit below our waists.
"Yes."
After getting out of our bedroom and finally of our house, I close the entrance door. I turn my face to look at Ciel. She turns her eyes to me in return, the wide smile still blooming on her face.
Ugh...I still can't get over it...
The kiss she gave me earlier was just a light kiss. She did nothing but pressed her lips against mine without doing anything "further". Still, however light it might be, a kiss is still a kiss. And that's what fills my mind right now.
But I'll keep it a secret from Ciel for now. For now, because I know that someday, either I will definitely have the right time and chance to tell her about it or she will find out about it herself.
"Let's go," I say as we both set our feet on the ground below the short staircase down our house, taking our first step to the outside world for today.
~TO BE CONTINUED~
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