11

Monday Afternoon, January 17th, 2011

Brockton Bay, New Hampshire, Earth Bet

Dallon Residence​

It wasn't long before I found Vicky in a bedroom that was very...glossy. The decorations were all in white and gold and the walls were plastered with pictures of herself along with friends, Amy, and a boy I assumed must be Dean Stansfield. Some framed newspaper clippings of Glory Girl's exploits also had pride of place. Posters for bands neither I nor Taylor's memories recognized added some variety, at least. The door was open and Vicky appeared to be going through her closet examining outfits. I knocked on the doorframe to get her attention.

"Vicky?" I said.

"Taylor! Are you done with everything already?" Vicky's smile and cheer was contagious, and it took me a second to realize it was the aura. Internally I gently pushed it aside.

"Yeah. I think your mom and Aunt Sarah are going to need some time to recover from the things I told them. They might act a bit odd for a while. It...was a lot of pretty heavy stuff," I explained.

"Oh," Vicky said, and zipped over without touching the floor to hold me by the shoulders. "Taylor, are you okay?"

I nodded. "I'm fine, but there's something I would like to talk to you about. Can I come in?"

Vicky rolled her eyes and ushered me in. "As if you need to ask," she said, lightly. I closed the door behind me, and with the room lacking for seating besides the bed I used the floor, crossing my legs. I patted the floor in front of me, and Vicky joined me.

"What's up?" Vicky asked, her voice getting more serious.

"I want to keep it a closely held secret, which is why I couldn't say anything in the PRT building with people around, but I do have a power. I can give myself knowledge."

Vicky's eyes widened. "Ooh, I was right! I just knew you couldn't be a regular girl. Amy said you couldn't be a cape because you didn't have corona whatevers, but I knew there was something going on with you after you saved mom." She gripped my shoulders, literally bouncing in excitement. "So what kind of knowledge can you give yourself? Can you learn everything in school without having to study? Oh, I'll be so jealous!"

I smiled a bit. "I did use my power to do that, yes. But my power can also tell me things about people, and powers, and the future, and other things. I want to share with you one of the great secrets about how powers work, because I think it's something you need to know."

"You can see the future?" Vicky asked, voice hushed, letting her arms fall as her look grew intensely focused on me.

"Bits and pieces of a possible future. One full of terrible things that would happen if I don't do anything. I'm hoping that telling you this secret will help prevent something bad from happening. Are you willing to hear it, Vicky?" I ask, solemn.

Vicky nodded, picking up my seriousness. Although despite it I could tell she was eager to know. What teenager wouldn't be tempted at being able to know a great and terrible secret about powers, of all things?

"Okay," I began, "the secret is that most people's powers push them towards conflict. The powers want to be used, and they usually want to be used creatively. Violence often pushes people to innovate, so it's common for them to push users towards that, or things that will make it likely. Powers aren't really sapient, at least not in the same way that we are, and they don't usually control people. They do have a certain cunning, and they can...nudge. Maybe give someone an impulse to do something they wouldn't otherwise think of, or make the person restless if the power doesn't get used enough or is always used the same way. You can think of them as sort of like animals that want to fight for dominance."

Vicky's breathing had sped up.

"I'm not going to tell anyone about the times you hurt bad guys more than you meant to. You're my friend, and I'll keep your secrets. But I wanted to tell you this so that you knew what was going on. That impulse that wanted to go and beat up muggers wasn't you, it was your power trying to push you. And it's something you'll always need to watch yourself for, in order to keep something tragic from happening. Having Amy help you with your mistakes also put a lot of stress on her, and she's not doing well. It wasn't just that, she has other things she's dealing with that are private to her, but any stress will only make her bad headspace worse."

I took a risk and reached out to hug Vicky close. "You're the one in charge, not your power, okay?"

"Are you sure that's how it works?" Vicky asked. I could feel her heart pounding, and her voice was unsteady. She was scared.

"I'm a very strong thinker. I'm sure," I said. "You were being manipulated, and now that you know you can keep a close eye on it. Probably best if you don't patrol alone just to be safe."

"Oh Ames, I've been hating myself for-"

"Shhh, it's okay, Vicky. I'm going to help Amy. You can help, too. She's going to need her sister's support as she works through things. She's working herself way too hard to try to earn your mom's approval, and she's afraid of herself."

"Afraid of herself? Why? She's the best person I know!" Vicky exclaimed, pulling back.

"She's worried that because her power could be used to do bad things, she might use it to do bad things. It's...not really rational, but your mom's always been suspicious of Amy for reasons that aren't Amy's fault or rational either. Even though there was no grounds to it Amy picked up on it and transferred your mom's fears to herself and it's part of what's got her twisted up. Amy has a lot of power, but it can be power for evil as well as good, like all powers. It's something I'll talk to her about."

"Why would mom think bad things about Amy?" Vicky asked.

I sighed. I'd sort of talked myself into a corner, hadn't I?

"Amy's birth father did some pretty bad things, and part of your mom can't help but see him when she looks at Amy, even though it doesn't make any sense. Your mom has mental scars from terrible things that happened that she needs to work on. I talked to her about it already, so please don't run off to yell at her about it, okay? She would be really, really unhappy with me if she knew I told you, and then I might not be able to be part of New Wave."

Vicky's eyes got big and her face almost literally lit up. "You want to join New Wave?!"

Distraction successful, I noted dryly. She hadn't even thought to ask me who Amy's birth father was. Perhaps she'd remember later.

"I want to work with you guys, at least. You don't have a thinker or a tinker, and I can do a lot. I want to keep my identity quiet for at least a few months until I'm equipped enough to protect myself and my Dad, though. Maybe I could be some sort of affiliate member. Your mom and aunt need to talk it over. Given the number of heavy secrets I just had to lay on them I wouldn't blame them if they're a bit wary about having me around, honestly. But I didn't want to lie to them or hide important things from them that they needed to know to keep New Wave safe."

Vicky shook her head. "Don't worry, I won't let them push you out just because you tried to protect us."

I smiled, and was surprised to find my feelings of being deeply touched weren't aura induced at all.

"Thank you, Vicky. You're a good person. I'm looking forward to being friends."

Vicky returned my smile, and I tamped down the feeling of awe without much thought. "So, once I get a lab I've got some gifts I want to make for you guys."

Vicky's smile got bigger, and she bounced again. "I like presents. Dish!"

I laughed. "Well, the first thing is that I'll be able to cure your dad's depression."

Vicky gaped for a moment. "You can fix brains? Are you, like, a medical tinker?"

I shrugged. "I'm not really a tinker, but I have knowledge that makes me sort of like a doctor from the future. I know how to make a medicine of sorts that will help his brain make the medicines it needs instead of him having to take them every day. He'll be back to his old self. He'll be able to do things and won't have bad days, anymore."

Vicky paused and gave me a look. "It's really spooky how you know things like that. About him and us."

"I'm sorry," I said, and meant it. "I didn't ask for it."

Vicky sighed. "It's okay. You want to help, so I'm not mad."

"Thank you," I said, relieved. I wasn't sure if it was Taylor's memories or feelings of isolation since I'd come to Earth Bet so suddenly, but that sense of relief at Vicky not being upset at my extraordinarily invasive knowledge made me realize that part of me did actually want Vicky's friendship, even though she was less than half my age.

That was...a strange and uncomfortable feeling. I really was too starved for people to talk to here. Normally I would have dealt with stress by talking to friends and family, but they were all out of reach.

I suppressed the pang of loss, and moved on.

"Another thing is a gift for you. I've got some ideas to help you with your aura," I said. "This is... going to be another heavy subject, though," I said.

Vicky visibly steeled herself. "Yeah?" she asked.

"The people you're around a lot aren't immune to your aura," I said. "I don't want to go into too much detail because I don't want you torturing yourself over it, but it's been affecting them. Having their emotions jerked around all the time has made some issues they've been having worse."

I felt a surge of intense terror, and firmly pushed it aside. I wasn't absolutely certain Vicky's aura had been contributing to her family's problems, but all the puzzle pieces fit that hypothesis awfully well.

And even if I was wrong, there were persuasive benefits to blaming the aura anyway.

It would be motivation for Vicky to learn to control her aura. That would be good for her, and the people around her. It frankly astonished me that nobody in school had brought a complaint for assault with a parahuman power over it yet. Perhaps the aura making people like her explained it, but that just made things worse.

More importantly though, Amy hated herself for how she felt about Vicky even as she couldn't stop. Along with keeping the secret, the self-loathing was a huge source of stress for her. If Amy had a convincing reason to believe it wasn't her all along, true or not, then that could be a huge relief. And seeing it as an external problem that affected her rather than something wrong with her could make it much easier for her to accept help and address the problem in healthy ways.

Hopefully things would not end as they had in the original story.

"What?" Vicky said, looking horrified at my allegation. "But no, they…"

"When your aura makes your mom pay attention to you, that means she gives even less love and attention to Amy than she would have, which already wasn't enough. Your dad was already depressed before you triggered, but having something messing with his head might be making it worse. It certainly can't be helping. And Amy's got her own very private issues that are being made worse," I said as gently as I could.

"Oh no, Ames…mom, dad..."

I gripped Vicky's arms and looked directly into her eyes. "Stop. Do not beat yourself up over this. You. Did. Not. Know. Do you understand me, Vicky?"

Vicky's expression remained one of horror. I needed a strong appeal to reach her now, and that meant playing off of an aspect of her core sense of identity.

I shook her. "What does a hero do when they've made a mistake, Vicky?"

She blinked. "They...they make it better?"

I nodded. "And they learn from it, and they get better, so they don't make the same mistake again, right?"

She clenched her fists. "Right. You're right. If you're right, if I've been hurting them...I don't want to hurt them."

I nodded firmly and let her go. "You can work on being more aware of your aura and not using it around people you're close to. I know for a precognitive fact that you can learn to control it completely. You can do this. It's just going to take work, and self-awareness. Same thing with the urges your power gives you to go out and find fights. You can control all of it, and keep the people you care about safe and healthy."

"Okay," she said, and wiped her eyes. "Okay."

"I'm sorry, again," I said, sadly.

Vicky shook her head. "No, no...if I've been hurting them, I needed to know. Thank you, Taylor. And I should be the one that's sorry. I screwed up."

I just barely caught myself before I told her that it's okay, she's still just a kid. I spoke too much like an adult already. A slip like that might have been hard to explain.

"You didn't know. And now that you do know, you're going to get better, and protect the people you care about. You're a hero, Vicky, and you don't give up when things get hard. That's something I admire about you, you know."

She smiled, almost embarrassed. "Well, I am pretty great, I suppose."

I chuckled. "You'll keep learning and protecting people. You'll be a great hero one day."

"I will?" Vicky leaned forward. "Do you know? What happens?"

I smiled apologetically. "If all goes well, the future I saw will never happen because of the changes I'm making. So I can't tell you what's going to happen, exactly. And if I did it would change things anyway. But I'm certain that you'll always protect people and always be a hero. Because that's who you are, Vicky. You really, truly care about people, and using your head and your fists you'll always protect them."

She was quiet for a bit.

"I might be able to make something that helps a bit by reminding you of how strong your aura is," I said, musing. "So you're more aware of it. Maybe an earring that vibrates slightly?"

"Wow," Vicky said, blinking. "That would be...that would be a big help, I think."

"Don't thank me yet, I'll have to take some brain scans while you use your aura to know if it's even workable. And it might be awhile. I need to get a lab set up and stuff. Technology takes time," I said, and rubbed my head. "So much to do…"

"Heh, just like Chris. He's always complaining about how much he needs to do," Vicky chuckled.

"Chris?" I ask.

A look of horror hit Vicky's face. "Damn it. Damn it. Taylor, forget I said anything."

"Oh, Kid Win, that Chris. It's okay, I already knew," I reassured her.

"How?!" Vicky asked, before stopping. "Oh. Your power. It tells you secret identities?!"

I winced and held a finger to my lips. "Some. I do know all the local Wards. Please, please don't tell anyone, alright? The PRT would freak out. The gangs would freak out. Your mom would freak out. Everyone would freak out. Nobody likes a walking Unwritten Rules violation, and secrets have a way of getting out, so nobody can know, okay? Not Dean, not anybody. My safety depends on that one staying under wraps."

Vicky nodded, serious. "I can see how that would go badly. Okay." Then her expression shifted to a big smile. "If you know about Dean then I finally have someone besides Amy I can talk to about him properly!"

I couldn't help but laugh at how I had doomed myself. Ah well. "I suppose you do. It's the least I can do to pay you back, really." I scratched my cheek, thoughtful. "It's going to be weird seeing the Wards at Arcadia."

Vicky nodded. "Yeah." Then she started laughing, evidently recovered from the serious topics. "Oh my god, you'll know they're capes and they won't know you're a cape. It's totally the opposite of how it usually is."

"I'll have to think of something silly to say. Maybe I can play a joke on Dennis," I said, smiling at Vicky's laughter. It was good that she'd bounced back quickly, though I imagined she was probably going to be doing some difficult thinking at night for a while.

"Is Amy here today? I would like to talk to her, too," I asked.

Vicky shook her head. "She's at the hospital."

I nodded. "Okay, it'll have to wait. Oh, some advice - she doesn't want to hurt your feelings by saying so, but she doesn't actually like going on double dates. She isn't really interested in dating, at this point in her life. It just makes her feel kind of awkward."

"Oh Ames, she should have just said something..."

I shrugged. "It can be easier to go along than to say something, sometimes. You had the right idea that she needs ways to relax, though. She's burning herself out trying to please your mother. Aside from getting her to take healing at a more reasonable pace and not feel guilty about all the people she can't save, something that might help is to find other ways for her to express herself creatively with her power."

Vicky tilted her head. "How could she heal people creatively?"

I shake my head. "This...is a big secret of your sister's that needs to be kept, but...Amy's power isn't healing, it's complete control of biology, and she's not limited to humans. It makes her one of the strongest capes in the world, and she's terrified of both herself and what the world will think because of what capes like Bonesaw and Nilbog have done, even though she's not a villain. She could make monsters or twist people into horrors with a touch. She could warp their minds and personalities, too. That's why she won't heal brains, she's afraid of changing people's personalities accidentally. Which...isn't entirely unreasonable.

"But she could also make crops that are immune to blight or that produce medicines that heal all sorts of diseases. She has enormous potential to do good. And saving people without having to heal every one of them individually might help with her guilt over all the people she's not saving in the time she takes for herself."

Vicky listened, eyes wide. "All this time...I knew she could fix brains and didn't want to, and I'd guessed that it wasn't just healing she could do, mom yelled at her one time for...but I didn't realize…poor Ames…"

I nodded. "Yeah. There's another aspect to it, too. The way your power pushes you towards conflict, I think her power pushes her to try new things, to gather data. It wants to experiment, to learn. She's had iron control over it all this time, no matter how many times it tries to show her ways to 'improve' the people she's healing, and it's been wearing on her. She might benefit from a safe outlet, even if it's nothing useful and just pretty flowers or glow in the dark goldfish or something, but your mom will probably freak out at the slightest hint of anything that looks like biotinkering, so it's a problem that we're going to need to work through."

Vicky sighed. "Yeah, mom would absolutely flip. I don't think she'd ever budge on it. But if Ames has been resisting things all this time and doing it alone...ugh, if it's like when I want to go out and patrol but can't it must be driving her crazy."

"It's not hopeless, your Aunt Sarah has a level head on her shoulders. I'll be talking to her about it as soon as I can, and she can talk to your mom. Or go around her, if she has to. Besides, New Wave are heroes, they should see the potential for saving millions of lives from disease and starvation," I said.

"I hope you're right," Vicky said with a sigh.

"Me too. Please don't feel hurt about all the stuff Amy's been keeping to herself, it's not that she doesn't trust you, it was more that she holds you in really high esteem and was scared of pushing you away. I'm guessing here, no precognitive cheating, but I think she just needs quiet support from her sister and not anything confrontational. We want her to feel accepted and loved, and not be pushed away no matter what. That could be disastrous. Okay?"

Vicky nodded seriously. "She's my sister, I'll take good care of her. Always."

I smiled, relieved. "Good. She needs someone in her corner. Nobody should have to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders alone."

I grasped the irony of me saying that as I said it. I was sharing some of the burden. Was I sharing enough?

I'd have to keep an eye on myself. Whatever stabilizing effect my power had on my thinking would hopefully keep me from breaking completely, but from the way I yelled at whoever was on Console while Carol was bleeding made it clear that it wouldn't necessarily keep stress from affecting my decisions and how I approached people. A decision made in stress or anger at the wrong moment could be catastrophic.

We talked for a while longer, and I made the call to get picked up and taken back home. I didn't see Carol or Sarah again before I left, although the occasional muffled shouting told me that Carol might need some time to process things.

I could only hope it would work out.

Tuesday, January 18th, 2011

Brockton Bay, New Hampshire, Earth Bet

Hebert Residence​

After getting back from visiting the Dallons I had a quiet night working on modules for Prometheus, taking a break to make dinner with Danny. He was clearly relieved when I told him I wanted to work with New Wave, trading my help for protection. I told him I'd avoid going public if at all possible when he asked, and wouldn't in any case unless I could ensure we were both safe.

For him to not argue about that my going it alone without the PRT must have been worrying him, even knowing they were infiltrated.

The next morning I put two more charges in computer programming to bring it to seven, finding a few techniques that would help with Prometheus, with hacking and security, and any future true AI I might make.

I put the remaining three into chemistry, medicine, and cybernetics. There were a multitude of things that would be useful there.

There wasn't much to do besides wait for New Wave to get back to me and find out when I was supposed to be starting classes at Arcadia, so I spent more time with Prometheus. I split my time between modules that would assist him with creating new software and the infiltration modules I was calling electronic warfare packages.

I also set him to making money doing freelance software jobs under a false name with whatever cycles he wasn't using to keep an eye on me and the PRT. The income would go to multiple anonymous shell accounts, and with it I could start taking the risk of ordering needed parts and materials once I found a sufficiently secure way of getting me and the parts to the same place on a regular basis.

I wasn't sure how long it would be before a settlement check actually came, but experience from my old life suggested it could be several weeks or more even if there was no need for negotiation.

And it might be some time before New Wave came around to the idea of working together, or they might not do so at all. I needed a backup plan, and sitting around idle was making me antsy. I was starting to feel stuck, unable to use most of the knowledge I was building up while exposed to who knows what threats doing who knows what. The longer time went on the higher my chances of exposure. I needed tools and weapons, ideally in the next few weeks.

I went to bed that evening. My charges refilled as usual - again four minutes earlier each day - and my thoughts drifted between that particular unsolved mystery, memories of killing Victor, wondering whether I'd convinced the adults of New Wave or drove them away, and worrying about who had tried to murder me in the hospital and why. And whether I could stop them if they tried again.

I jerked awake around two A.M. at the sound of a pained scream coming from outside the house. Other voices followed it.