10

Monday Morning, January 17th, 2011

Brockton Bay, New Hampshire, Earth Bet

Docks Neighborhood​

I bundled up for the crisp January air and went for a long walk after breakfast in the morning. My footsteps crunched through several inches of snow that absorbed the city's sounds and offered an impression of peace that was, in Brockton Bay, only skin deep.

My two PRT monitors had insisted on trailing behind in the van; today they were a quiet towering wall of muscle by the name of Gary Fleming and a snarky woman by the name of Aspen 'Call me Asp' Dawson. Her comment about my being stalker bait aside, I needed to get out in some fresh air for a while.

I'd killed a man yesterday. Not because it was do or die in the moment, but, it could be argued, because it was convenient.

Yes, I'd been protecting myself and Danny. Yes, the Empire, Coil, and the PRT would very likely have found out things I didn't want them to find out if I hadn't killed him, things that might have resulted in me or Danny getting kidnapped or killed. At best I may have had to make us disappear for our safety, completely disrupting our lives and limiting my ability to build up. And that had an uncertain chance of costing untold lives.

One of the reasons I studied law was that it often helped me feel like I could know whether I was doing the right thing, or at least a thing that was acceptable.

The law as written would say that I did the right thing in killing Victor. He used lethal force against Carol Dallon, and I had every right to kill him to stop him from using it again. A clear cut case of both self-defense and defense of another.

But the philosophy underpinning that law is that lethal force to defend against lethal force is permissible because using non-lethal force in that situation isn't safe. It is unreasonable to expect people to endanger themselves or others to bring in a killer or would-be killer alive.

And that justification just didn't apply to me in the critical moment. I had control over the grapple. My skill was at a different level from even Victor's stolen expertise. I could have disabled him and taken his weapon with little or no risk to myself or Carol.

There was the issue that allowing him to live would almost certainly have endangered my life and the life of another in the future, but the law doesn't permit the use of lethal force on a non-immediate possibility. Future possibilities are so uncertain they can't support a death sentence.

So had I been wrong?

Or had the very likely future threat to myself morally justified my actions? Were the conclusions of the great legal and other philosophers of my Earth, meant as they were to apply to regular people in a society without superpowers, completely unsuited to the extraordinary circumstances I found myself in?

I didn't know. I just didn't know.

I knew I wasn't a monster. A monster wouldn't be experiencing doubt. But that didn't mean I'd made the best choice, either.

Realism. Idealism. Traps on both sides and a path between too thin to see.

Poor Taylor. In the original timeline she had found herself faced with similar questions and hadn't had anything like the education or maturity I had. Even with those tools it was all hard enough, but without? It had been very easy for her to pave a path to hell with good intentions, and it was good fortune and determination that had kept it from going much, much worse.

I could resolve to value life and avoid compromising myself again. It would avoid my becoming another Skitter, or Khepri.

But it could also cost untold billions on countless Earths their lives.

No, I was almost certainly going to be killing more people in the time to come. Perhaps not with my own hands, but my actions would be aimed at bringing about deaths, or result in their deaths without my intention. If nothing else Earth Bet had a list of total monsters that needed to die.

So what could I promise myself?

I would do everything in my power not to callously kill anyone innocent deliberately, no matter how convenient it might be. That was a bright line I felt I could draw. If it looked like the only way, I'd find another way. That was a line I needed. I would not become a murderer in the name of the greater good.

If that was cowardice, the universe could suck it.

I would avoid killing the guilty if I could safely do so. To do my best to not fall victim to the human desire for bloody vengeance against the wicked. If it was unsafe to do so, like with Victor, well, I'd have to make the judgement call based on the circumstances.

I'd have to do my best not to let killing be the one stop easy answer to all my problems. That was how monsters were made.

When I got home I warmed up with some hot cocoa and spent my charges for the day. One each in biology, cybernetics, mechanical engineering, and nanotechnology, mostly to aid in plans for building things I wanted or that I wanted to create for New Wave, and an experimental one in languages.

It turns out that one charge in languages was enough for fluency in the major languages on 2011 Earth, spoken and written. It didn't give me minor dialects, accents, minor languages, or ancient languages or older versions of existing languages, but for something that I'd expected to be too broad to work it was pretty incredible.

It wasn't long before it was afternoon, and I had Gary and Asp drop me off at the Dallons' before returning to keep an eye on Danny. I hardly needed bodyguards around a family of superheroes, after all.

Monday Afternoon, January 17th, 2011

Brockton Bay, New Hampshire, Earth Bet

Dallon Residence​

The Dallons had a large house in a nice neighborhood, as might be expected from Carol's income as an attorney and the team's income, however that worked. Fundraising and merchandise, I imagined.

When I knocked on the door Vicky answered it with a squeal and dragged me inside. "Taylor! You came, come in!"

"Hi Vicky," I said, removing my shoes on the mat in the large entryway. She took my coat as I shrugged it off. "Where's your mom?"

"Mom and Aunt Sarah are in the living room, this way," she said, and zipped on ahead. Literally.

The living room wasn't far. It was a large space with a cathedral ceiling and tall windows looking out on the spacious backyard. Carol Dallon and Sarah Pelham were seated on a sectional sofa, drinks in front of them on a coffee table. The walls had a lot of photos. Some of the family in civilian garb, some in their New Wave costumes, and some older ones from when they were the Brockton Bay Brigade.

I noticed that Amy was only ever present in group shots, and had to mentally set aside my disapproval at Carol's issue.

"Taylor's here!" Vicky called.

"Taylor," Sarah greeted me as I entered, standing up and approaching to shake my hand. "It's nice to meet you. I'm Sarah Pelham, also known as Lady Photon. I hear you saved my sister. Thank you!"

I nodded. "You're both most welcome. She got hurt protecting me, so really we're even at best."

Sarah smiled at that. "Modest, too. Well, please have a seat. I'm curious what you wanted to talk about."

"As am I," Carol noted.

I nodded again, and turned to Vicky. "Vicky, I'm really sorry, but this is going to be really private stuff. Would you mind if...?"

"Aww, okay. But you still owe me that shopping trip!" she said with a fake pout.

I laughed. "I do. Thank you, Vicky."

"No problem, Taylor!" With that she raced off toward...somewhere else in the large house, pretending not to hear Carol's call not to fly indoors.

I sighed heavily and took a seat across from the heroic sisters, waiting a moment to ensure Vicky got out of listening range. "So," I started. "I imagine Mrs. Dallon likely already suspects, but-hold on." I pull out my phone and set it down on the coffee table. "Prometheus, are we clear?"

"There are no broadcasting listening devices in the Dallons' home that I can detect, and their phones are clean of spyware and backdoors, Miss Hebert," Prometheus answered aloud, taking my cue to break his usual stealth rules.

"Who the hell is that?" Carol said in alarm.

Sarah looked less angry than her sister but was about to add something when I jumped in. "Not a who, a what. That's Prometheus, a non-sapient software tool that I created to handle my digital security needs and assist me. If he believes your devices are clear then we're clear to talk. I'm sorry for the presumption, but my life hinges on keeping much of what I am about to tell you a secret for some time."

"So, you are a cape," Carol said, and shared a heavy look with Sarah.

I grimace. "I have powers. Rest assured I have no interest in being a villain. I intend to be a hero."

"That's always good to hear. What are your powers, Taylor? Are you a tinker?" Sarah asked.

I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly as I sat back. This was the point of no return.

"Not...exactly. My primary power is to give myself knowledge. That includes things like making myself the finest martial artist who has ever lived, which is how I beat Victor despite him having a gun and being physically stronger than I am. It also includes things like science and technology centuries or millennia more advanced than what is considered state of the art. Prometheus is just one example."

"You're like Uber but you can give yourself tinker specialties?" Carol clarified.

"No, it's all real technology. I have none of the usual tinkertech limitations on reproducibility and maintenance, although I also don't have any special ability to assemble a ray gun out of a TV remote and a fork or any of the other weird impossible things tinkers do. All my knowledge gains are also permanent, and I add more every day. The gain rate is very fast. I believe it will effectively make me one of the strongest tinkers and thinkers in the world."

Carol and Sarah exchanged another heavy look. I could only guess at the meaning; they were doing a wordless communication thing that I'd seen occasionally in married couples and siblings.

"Not that we don't believe you, Taylor, but that's a tall claim. Do you have any evidence?" Sarah asked, turning her gaze back to me and leaning forward. My psychology knowledge told me I had her interest, at least.

I nodded. "There's Prometheus, something only someone who can imitate a tinker could create. There's the impossible degree of martial arts expertise I displayed going up against Shadow Stalker and then Victor." I turned to Carol. "There's also the legal knowledge that you likely noticed as oddly advanced when we met."

"Why did you lie to me about being a cape, Taylor?" Carol asked, back to angry again now that I'd reminded her.

I wince. "I'm truly sorry for deceiving you, Mrs. Dallon. I had no choice because the PRT camera was recording us, and PRT information security is less than perfect. The gangs have moles in the building. It's how they break captured members out so consistently, among other things," I explained.

"How do you know that?" Sarah questioned, tilting her head with interest.

"My power," I answered.

Her eyes widened as the implications hit her. "You can just give yourself knowledge about people, too?"

I shook my head. "Not exactly. My power is best at giving me expansive knowledge of skills and academic subjects. But I got a sort of precognitive snapshot of important people and events when I triggered, about what would happen if I did nothing. I'd rather not go into more detail on the specifics right now. I do have a plan to aid the PRT with their mole problems soon, but that's neither here nor there.

"What matters right this moment is what my power has told me about New Wave. I know that you are good, heroic souls. Uncorrupted and free of moles. I also know that you are human with foibles and problems. Fortunately, they are mostly problems I can help with."

"What do you know about us?" Carol asked hotly, her look dark.

I closed my eyes. Then I opened my hands and held them palm up on my lap, body language open to express that I was not a threat.

"You want complete honesty?" I asked quietly.

"Of course," Carol replied quickly.

I nodded slowly, mentally tallying up everything and preparing myself.

Most people naturally develop strong psychological defenses over time. Tools that allow them to keep going despite criticism and setbacks. There are many such defense mechanisms, some healthier than others.

To get someone to understand that they've done something wrong, or that they need to change somehow, you have to get past those defenses. There are a number of approaches that can in principle work, but none are certain.

"I'll do the best I can, then," I said. "I have to warn you that some of this will be difficult to hear, but I believe you are better off knowing."

I heard Sarah and Carol both make movements, tensing up at that. I continued.

"I know Flashbang's secret is that he is depressed, just as I know that I have the medical knowledge necessary to permanently cure him with a pill. No side effects. I know that his depression has been worsened as a consequence of chronic exposure to Vicky's aura impacting his brain chemistry, and I know that all of you are not as immune as you think. I also know that I can give you all immunity by medical means, if you want it."

Carol in particular would have a hard time accepting the need to change in any way, so the approach I was going with would be to hit as many vulnerabilities as I could.

"I know that Vicky's secret is that she has been struggling to tame aggressive impulses that her power is feeding her, because it wants to fight and she doesn't have an adult's impulse control yet."

Whatever her flaws, Carol did care about her family, as the rest of New Wave did. That was one crack in the armor to be exploited. If I could show her that she needed to change to keep her family safe, that might be enough.

"I know your secret is how you defeated Marquis that night, what you found in the closet. I know that because your experiences have scarred you that you've never been able to trust and love Amy properly, seeing in her the sins of her biological father. I know that Vicky's aura constantly demanding your love and attention has made that problem worse than it would be naturally."

Another vulnerability was a vulnerability everyone has. Like a piece of steel, humans are resistant to individual blows. But hammer them over and over in a short span of time, and they can be moved before they have a chance to mount their usual defenses properly.

"I know that Amy's secret is that she is working herself to the point of a catastrophic psychological breakdown in the next six months trying to earn your approval, and something needs to be done."

Another vulnerability was a vulnerability that all parents had; the fear of being a bad parent. Even if she didn't like Amy much because of her projecting Marquis onto the girl, she might be shamed if the effects of her neglect and poor treatment were made clear.

"I know that Vicky's aura has had other unfortunate side effects on Amy's psychology that are private to her that I will also offer to help her with, if she wants it. I know that Amy is one of the most powerful capes alive, and that healing is the tiniest portion of her potential for good. I know that she could save an uncountable number of lives, especially if we worked together on things like making medicines."

A lesser vulnerability; their self image as heroes. That identity would make it hard to think about allowing people to die because of the issues Carol was projecting onto Amy.

"I know that if I had said nothing then Manpower and Shielder would have died to Leviathan this year. Your powers are strong, but the Endbringers are on another level entirely. I know how they work, and how they can be killed, however."

A final blow; they didn't want anyone in New Wave to die, especially not after Fleur would have made the prospect feel all too real. Combine that with the hope that I might actually be telling the truth about knowing useful things about the Endbringers, and they would want to know more.

I opened my eyes to see a shocked Sarah Pelham and a mixture of anger and shock and...guilt, I think, on Carol's face.

How much had they believed? Some, at least, to get that reaction. I'd told them some things I should have no way of knowing and that would buy some credibility, but it was hard to say how far it went. At least Carol hadn't physically attacked me. I had worried that might happen.

"Rest assured that I will keep your secrets, in the hope that you keep mine," I said. "I truly do respect you, and want to help."

Lightning glowed and danced around Carol's hands as she gripped them into tight fists, not taking any definitive shape. Then she stood and stalked out of the room.

I took a breath. "I'm sorry for the trouble," I said to Sarah.

She was pale, I noticed.

"We don't do Endbringer fights," she said dazedly.

"You would have when Leviathan attacked Brockton Bay this spring after a series of events destabilized the Bay," I said softly. "Mostly a bombing campaign by an insane bomb tinker cape named Bakuda who will be joining the ABB."

"Oh," she said, voice numb.

"I will be taking measures to head those events off, so hopefully the attack won't happen now. Regardless, you should not fight the Endbringers. If you must go to one of the fights, your best bet is for the whole team to hang back at the medical tent and protect Amy," I advised.

"I'm sorry, Taylor, I'm not sure how to take all this. If all this is true, what do you want from us?" Sarah asked, sounding lost.

I offered a slight shrug. "Your protection. I need time to build what I need to help people, and I am very vulnerable until I can get my technology in order. I would like Carol to help create a legal shell that orders what I need so I can set up a proper lab. In exchange I'm offering my help with the problems that Vicky has inadvertently caused with her aura, and whatever else you need."

She didn't say anything.

"You could think of me as a New Wave affiliate, if you want. Or if that's not good enough, I would be willing to join officially. I just can't go public until I'm strong enough to protect myself and my father. I'd need a few months to get there." I offered.

Sarah still didn't say anything.

"Mrs. Pelham?" I asked, starting to get worried.

"...I'm sorry Taylor," Sarah finally said, shaking her head. "I just didn't realize how bad things were for Carol and Mark and Vicky and Amy. I knew Carol and Mark were having problems but I can't believe I didn't notice how bad things were. I should have talked to Carol, or done something." She looked away, in the direction Carol had left.

"Hindsight is always twenty-twenty," I said. "There's something I should talk to Vicky about, then I can leave and give you time to process this. You should probably talk to your sister, I imagine she needs help right now."

"...Yeah, you're right," Sarah said with more purpose, and stood. "It was...nice meeting you, Taylor."

I shake my head sadly. "I know it wasn't, and I'm sorry. These are difficult things to have to confront face on. But now that you know the problems are there, they can be fixed. You are good people, you deserve long, happy lives. Together, as a healthy family."

Sarah blinked. "'There's so much, what are you'," she muttered.

I cringed. "Carol heard what Victor said, then," I sighed.

Sarah nodded slowly. "She told me. I've met thinkers before, but you're not like any of them. Or like any teenage girl I've ever met. Did Victor see something in your head? What are you, Taylor?"

"I think he saw the inconceivable amount of knowledge that's up here, now," I said, knocking on the side of my head. "As for what I am..."

I thought. 'Humanity's last hope' might quite possibly be accurate, but would probably make me sound like I had delusions of grandeur. Besides, I wasn't just humanity's hope for survival. I could be a great many other hopes besides, like the hope for a better path that I would bring to each member of the Dallon family. A family which would have broken.

"I am hope," I finished.

I left the room and went looking for Vicky, leaving Sarah behind.