Rebirth? I Want a Refund.

I excitedly turned towards the smooth surface I felt, trying to lift my arm to reach out and touch it, but weirdly I got no response again. Strange.

It was like my arms had stopped working, they stayed firmly fixed at my sides. Why wasn't it moving? I'd clearly bumped into something just now when I turned over to my right side.

I tried to stretch my hand again and got no response.

Okay… This was getting weird. I moved towards the right, leaning with my whole body to meet it and once again I hit something hard and cool to the touch. It was smooth and oddly spherical like I was inside of a marble. 

I decided to try something else. This time I moved my head and it worked, I was able to bend my head and feel the smooth texture of the roof. 

I rested my body against the curved roof feeling its coolness on my skin. I tried to move my legs to see if it would work but I was met with resistance, it felt like the space was too tight.

Alright, if I couldn't move It, I should at least be able to mentally map out its shape.

I traced the sensation of the smooth wall from my head to my stomach, following it all the way down to my legs. 

Odd…were my legs always this long?

The coolness I was tracing flowed, following a line that never seemed to end, the odd elongated shape twisting and turning, taking the form of a long tube-like object, like some sort of rope.

What was happening?

I turned my head to tilt it away from the smooth wall. Somehow this was easy like I had become more flexible. My body leaned and curved, flopping along like a whip. 

Wait, how was that possible? That can't be right.

My head now seemed to be touching my stomach and my legs were somehow long enough to wrap around myself, curving full circle to touch the top of my head in two rotations. From this shape hadn't I had formed a spiral?

Um... What happened to my body! How did it become like this?

And the feeling of being glued together by a substance intensified further. My body was still responsive to touch but when I tried to move anything from the neck down it just felt…wrong.

My whole body seemed to have fused together into one long solid mass! As if I had become a large rope-like structure trapped within a cocoon!

What the heck was happening! What happened to my body? 

I struggled some more, twisting and turning my body in morbid curiosity, and the more I turned the more tube like my body seemed to become. I was no longer fascinated, now I was twisting in panic and horror.

What's with this body? No way was I this flexible, bending like this was not even possible for Olympic athletes who trained all their life.

How was I, who never did any extra physical activities other than my part time jobs, able to bend like this?

When I tried to unravel the spiral that had formed, my legs recoiled and snapped outwards like a tight rubber band, hitting the smooth wall with a slap. 

And then I suddenly heard a loud crack.

The sound of something breaking was accompanied by an explosion of sensation all around me. There was an intense burst of white light, and the noises from the rustling and scuttling of things nearby filled the air.

I could finally hear something outside of my own mind! I moved more in excitement.

The bright light intensified in my vision and I had to shut them to a squint.

I can see!

And I finally came out!

Whatever I was encased in was gone, melting away, becoming soft and rubbery like leather as my body pushed through it to emerge.

I thought it curious how easily my prison had dissolved. I felt myself tumble out of something and fall with a splat, like the sound of something wet hitting the ground.

I blinked my eyes, momentarily blinded by the bright light.

There were rustling sounds oddly close to me.

What was this? Where was I?

I blinked more to let my vision adjust. It was still a milky white but I could make out blurry shapes moving around.

I couldn't wait to take in the view of my new surroundings! I blinked around excitedly until my vision cleared… and then I was stunned by the sight in front of me. 

All around me were bending, twisting mess of snakes slithering all over the ground!

Eeeehh! What was this! Some kind of creature den? And what was that smell?

I looked behind me.

Eeeek! There were even more snakes there!

"Sensei what's happening!" I cried miserably. "Is this supposed to be how I'm born? Inside a snake nest?"

Am I abandoned here to die?

Sensei did not respond.

"Hey Sensei! Don't go quiet on me right now! Explain what is going on!"

I was never someone with ophidiophobia but the sight of so many slithering bodies twisting, wriggling, and sliding over each other really grossed me out.

And the noise? All that rustling and hissing was really unpleasant to the ears! The sight made me recoil. Jumping up in fright, I proceeded to run away.

How Disgusting! I was supposed to be a baby, why was I here?

Completely glancing over the fact that I was somehow able to run away with fully functioning legs, I sped away from the wriggling mess, running over bodies and dodging open snake mouths filled with vicious teeth.

It was only when I'd gotten a good distance away that I realised the sensation of me running was actually my body sliding over the ground on my belly.

I realised I did not have any legs or arms. I was nothing like a baby at all.

I stopped running to look back at my body, and saw a long curved mass moving in an 'S' pattern, exactly the same as the horde of snakes I was running from.

I realised I was also a 'slithering, twisting and wriggling' snake.

"Sensei! What the hell is this? Why am I th-this?! What happened to my body?"

Sensei coughed nervously.

«Remember that exercise I had you all write in detention?»

Of course I did! That annoying task that had me receive a list of rude words as a description of myself, words that did not match my personality at all.

Why was he bringing that up now? Was he trying to annoy me further by making me remember what everyone thought of me?

"What does that have to do with my situation now?" I gnashed my teeth in anger.

Sensei coughed some more. His voice turning into a low mumble like he was trying to conceal his words.

«Er… well. When I spoke to the Goddess she might have mentioned that she based your reincarnation on that list.

Those words… were written by your peers, they are the best judge of your personality. What they wrote served as a guideline for your rebirth.

Which *cough* let her pick the race that suited you best from their descriptions of you.»

It took me a second to process his words before exploding in anger.

"What?! Are you trying to tell me that I'm a snake now because of your dumb perception test?"

«Erm… yes.»

"Are you serious! Why didn't you tell the Goddess it was a joke!"

«It wasn't up to me»

I paced, no… slithered back and forth dragging my elongated body as I moved around in the nest. What were the words again?

Coldblooded, inhuman, ugly, hardworking, treacherous, shamelessly cunning and slimy.

No matter how I looked at it, these were the exact qualities of a snake. My mood hit rock bottom, there was nothing like being forced to face reality. It completely made sense.

The Goddess must have a twisted sense of humour to decide something so important based on that joke of an exercise.

Didn't she know students were spiteful and full of lies? How could she judge if what was written was anything accurate to my character.

Wasn't this just being lazy, using someone else's evaluation rather than figuring things out yourself. Like copying somebody else's answers on a test.

It was frustrating!

Why not look into my memories to see the actual traits I possess rather than doing things like this? Besides, I was formerly a human, if she wanted to be lazy why didn't she just copy and paste the same race here.

I heard Sensei chuckling.

"What's funny about this mess!" I snarled.

«Nothing. It's just funny how you pacing as a snake still looks vaguely like a human»

Human, my foot!

There was nothing human about this disgusting snake body. How was I supposed to live like this!

"Isn't this your fault! You're the one that thought up that silly exercise. Take responsibility!"

Sensei burst into laughter while I felt like crying.

This person was not sorry at all!