Beginning of Change

[Jake's POV]

I slowly opened my eyes, processing things that are happening around me. At first, I thought I can't see anything except darkness.

'I am in a dark room?'

"Aargh" I groaned, my whole body is hurting like hell when I tried to turn around to observe my surroundings.

Then I started remembering things that happened with the bandits, and my head started to hurt. I clenched my teeth, 'huh, I have a few of my teeth broken. No worries I am just 5 they will grow back

Pointless thoughts started forming in my head as if I can't even control them. Painstakingly I turned my head around and saw a light beam coming from underneath the locked door.

I noticed the screaming and wailing sounds coming from outside the door, at first it perfectly blended into the background I didn't notice it at all.

I recognized the voice "Emily?" I mumbled, remembering the voice of the childish lady who kept pulling my cheeks. Now her voice sounded hoarse, probably because of constant screaming.

Apart from her, I can hear voices of a few men laughing and cheering and a few women screaming and… moaning

An image formed in my brain of my imagination of what was actually going on outside. If I was just a normal 5-year old I couldn't have understood this accurately. But my mature mind can understand the cruelty going on outside.

I tried to move around, but to no avail, I felt both of my legs getting tied to something… metallic. I can feel my mana, but can't move my body.

I can feel my bones broken, and a few internal damages.

'How can I feel it? Is it because of the mana inside me?'

Even if I tried to save the girls, I couldn't my mana was constantly being used to repair my organs.

Then as if my brain was opened, I remembered killing the bandit, with my own hands. My heart started thumping around, and a feeling of coldness gripped my body.

A feeling of disgust and guilt welled up inside me like a bursting dam, my heart continuing to beat faster and faster, making my already aching body grieve in more pain than tolerable.

'I... I killed someone'

Ever since my mom died back on earth, this was my greatest fear. To see someone's death or dead body in front of me.

Maybe I was traumatized to see someone close to me die. Or maybe it was something else. Although I became apathetic to the world, the fear of death remained in me. Not my own death, I barely noticed it, but others, especially of someone I know.

I couldn't believe that I, who hated seeing someone die, killed someone. Even in a fit of rage, I couldn't believe it, at that time I didn't think I was doing something wrong. But after doing it…

Suddenly the gradually ever-increasing pain I was feeling became unbearable and I got out of my thoughts. My mind was in chaos right now, I couldn't even think sensibly, my mind was going to and fro over the same topic.

"Aaaarghhhh" I groaned again, gritting my teeth frustratingly laying there, on the hard ground.

'I want it to stop'

My feelings didn't stop, it was hurting me. I... I don't want to feel it anymore…

'I WANT IT TO STOPPPP!!!! I DON'T WANT TO FEEL ANYTHING ANYMORE!!!!!'

I held myself as best as I could, a taste of iron forming inside my mouth, clenching my fists tightly.

Suddenly a burst of magicule shot throughout my body and my mind with intense pressure, I never handled this amount of magic before, an icy cold sensation gripped me, it was unexpectedly comfortable. As if something like ice itself has put me in its embrace.

I stopped feeling pain. This sensation even stopped my guilt and disgust. My longing for family. My other humane thoughts were stopped too. My mind was suddenly empty as if I was meditating.

These thoughts appeared as though they were there inside my mind, but I can't access them, as though they are… frozen

'I froze my own… feelings?' This was the first thought that came to my mind and my incredibly tired body and mind passed out from exhaustion.

-- -

I woke up from my slumber again, empty-headed, lying inside the dark room, no, I notice a bulk of light coming from the opened door that was closed earlier.

"Oh, this fucking kid finally wakes up"

"Hey, eat this, we don't want you dying in here"

A light beam shot behind this man making it hard to see his face, but I soon realized he brought me bread and water to eat so I don't die of starvation.

Although I was starving and feeling pretty weak right now, I wasn't focusing on the food at all, my gaze was fixed upon a figure, a woman that can be seen outside the door, naked, on the floor, lying facedown on her stomach.

Although her face seemed to be turned in my direction, I noticed her eyes has lost all focus, seeming like an empty shell of a human, laying there, unmoving.

The same was me, feeling empty, with all my emotions undoubtedly frozen, I just stared at Emily's lying figure without a hint of emotion in my eyes.

It was a bit weird to not feel anything seeing that in front of my eyes, but soon a sense of realization hit me. I had changed, and I can notice it clearly now. I have gone on a path no human should have. I can say it confidently, whatever my future holds for me, it's going to push me down more, towards the dark.

After discarding all my emotions, which seemingly felt useless to me now, I felt… powerful, I felt as if I can take on any battle and come out on top. Without any remorse or regret, without any guilt or weaknesses.

And for that, I have to become strong, stronger than anyone, to regain my freedom, to stand on top of everyone, and look down on them.

I have always had this dream of mine, to step on all, to stand on top. But knowing how it felt to be on the receiving end of it, I have always felt it was wrong to do it, morally questionable. Deep down, I wanted that, that happiness, that freedom.

Now after discarding my emotions, I can finally let them free. A spark of determination hit me, a spark that would light the fire so cold, that it freezes everything in its path.

I came out of my thoughts and noticed the door was shut again. I got up, rose to my feet, and inspected my body. It was healed, with no signs of fracture, or any other organ damage left on it.

This was the specialty of Water-related elements, especially [Water CP(attack)] or [Ice]. They have an extremely dextrous body, just like water, everything heals leaving no trace behind.

Time passed like this, me living in almost solitary confinement on some bandit's camp, I say it almost because I can still hear voices from the outside, from their loud talking and laughing to huge orgys.

I spent almost all this time meditating, perfecting my magic flow and control, constantly breathing and fueling magicule to my now-matured magic core. It was level 5, fully matured, I have to perfect it and advance it to level 6.

Although I can't practice my swordplay here, I am still using magic to not forget all the muscle memories of what I had perfected. I can't get stronger, but I won't get weaker like this as well. And with my mastery of magic rising, I will be strong, not losing my swordsmanship is just a bonus.

After an unknown amount of time, I heard the voices of the bandits outside the door.

"Haha, finally we will be able to get rid of that freeloader"

"Right, he was wasting space and food"

"Who was the dealer? Looks like it was quite expensive"

"I think someone from Count Romero's family"

"Hah, I guess we got lucky that that brat is good looking"

"Heh, all that face and look at him, sold as a toy"

"If not for the money, I'd love to ruin his pretty face, it'll heal anyway"

I heard them talking about most likely me, and my buyer. I guess it won't be long before I am released from this place.