Chapter 5 Integration

???: "You Know , I am Powerful enough to handle you."

OAA: "I know you are. But you will Still lose."

POV end

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I woke in my bed with a jolt, feeling as though the weight of the world was crashing down on me. Had I really met him, or was it just a figment of my imagination? I couldn't tell reality from illusion. All I knew was that the upcoming month would be excruciatingly painful. It felt like something was moving inside me, something foreign that my body was rejecting. I tried to ignore the pain and the unsettling feeling coursing through me.

Getting up from bed, I went to the window and pulled back the curtains. The world outside greeted me with a new morning, a fresh start. But when I glanced at the clock, it still read 5:30. Hunger gnawed at me, but my fridge was empty. I changed my clothes and left the apartment, wandering the streets lost in thought.

Should I seek out the ancient one? Should I go to 122B Baker Street, or perhaps journey to Nepal? The idea of visiting sanctum sanctorum crossed my mind, but explaining how I knew of such a place would be difficult.

I decided to set those thoughts aside for now. My current priority was enduring the pain, both physical and emotional, that seemed to consume me. After breakfast at a nearby café, I returned home, realizing I had the whole day ahead of me and nothing to fill it with. But in just one month, my life would change.

Fifteen days passed in a blur of agony. Each day, the pain intensified, leaving me bedridden and soaked in sweat. How would I survive fifteen more days like this?

Continuing to endure the torment, I drifted in and out of consciousness, my mind consumed by thoughts of the future and the mysterious journey that lay ahead.

-Time skip 15 days-

I don't know how I endured 29 days of this agony, but finally, it's the end. Today marks the last day, and although the pain still grips me tightly, I feel like I can endure it. I'm not sure if the pain is diminishing or if I'm simply becoming resistant to it, but everything seems to be falling into place. It's as if I finally have a single body again. Before, it felt like I was in control of two separate entities, but now everything seems to be aligning, as if the pieces of a puzzle are finally clicking into place.

After enduring for another 12 hours, I felt it—a subtle shift within me, as if something had clicked into place. And just like that, the pain vanished, the discomfort dissipating into the ether.

As the pain receded, I felt my muscles relaxing, the sudden release of tension causing me to faint once again. Upon waking, I glanced at the clock—it was midnight. I had been sleeping for more than 12 hours. Attempting to rise from bed proved difficult; my weakened hands gave out, leaving me sprawled helplessly for another ten minutes before mustering the strength to stand.

Surveying my body, I noticed a pallor to my skin, though it was gradually returning to its natural hue. And I seemed to have lost weight, my clothes hanging loosely from my frame. The smell emanating from my body was foul, a combination of days' worth of sweat and neglect.

My first act upon waking was to quench my thirst. I raided the fridge for water, downing bottle after bottle until my parched throat felt somewhat relieved. Then, driven by hunger, I scavenged for food, finding only stale bread that had been sitting for over ten days. Without hesitation, I tore into it, devouring it ravenously, the pungent odor doing little to deter my voracious appetite.

Once my hunger was somewhat sated, I sought solace in a hot shower, the sensation of the water cascading over my body akin to a divine blessing. It was a sensation of pure bliss, akin to the relief one feels after a long day of exertion.

Emerging from the shower, I dressed in fresh clothes, though the reflection in the mirror revealed a gaunt figure, a stark reminder of the toll the past month had taken on my body.

As I contemplated the events of the past month, I couldn't shake the feeling that something fundamental had shifted within me. What lay ahead remained uncertain, but for now, I relished in the simple pleasures of cleanliness and nourishment, grateful to have emerged from the ordeal stronger than before. 

It was still 2 am, and I knew I had time until sunrise. Heading to the bedroom, I immediately recoiled upon entering—the smell was overpowering. There was no way I could sleep in there with such a foul odor lingering. I resolved to clean the room later and retreated to the living room, sinking into the softness of the sofa.

I woke again at 5 am, the sun just beginning to peek over the horizon. Rising from the sofa, I ventured out into the still somewhat empty streets of New York City. Making my way to the café where I had been having breakfast for the past 30 days before my disappearance, I ordered some food to satisfy my hunger. Each bite felt like a taste of heaven, and I couldn't resist ordering more before departing.

As I made my way back home, I spotted Christine ascending the stairs to the apartment building. With a sudden impulse, I hurried after her, catching up just as she reached to ring the bell of my apartment. My unexpected presence startled her, causing her to react instinctively. In a flash, her fist connected with my face, and I stumbled backward, losing my balance and crashing to the floor.

The impact of her punch rattled me, leaving me reeling on the ground. Was that punch particularly hard, or had my body become weaker during my ordeal?

Shaking off the shock, I slowly regained my footing, offering a sheepish apology to Christine, who looked equally surprised by her own reaction. Brushing off the incident, I made my way back into the apartment with Christine.

when we entered the apartment. the first think she did was shout at me.

Christine: "Where the fuck were you for the last 10 days. i came 2 times in the last 15 days. and you didn't even answer ones. you didn't even answer my calls." 

Me: "I'm sorry, Christine. It's... complicated. I've been going through some personal struggles, and I needed time to sort things out."

Christine's expression softened slightly, but her anger still simmered beneath the surface.

Christine: "That's no excuse for disappearing without a word. Do you have any idea how worried I was? I thought something terrible had happened to you."

Me: "I know, and I'm truly sorry for causing you worry. I didn't mean to shut you out, but I was dealing with some... issues.

Christine: "Fine. But right now, you need to clean up this apartment. It's a mess."

She was right. The state of the apartment mirrored the chaos within me, and I realized that cleaning up would be a step towards reclaiming control over my life.

Nodding in agreement, I set to work alongside Christine, scrubbing away the layers of neglect and decay that had accumulated during my absence. As we worked side by side, the tension between us eased, replaced by a sense of camaraderie and understanding.

By the time we finished, the apartment looked transformed—a reflection of the fresh start I yearned for. Turning to Christine, I offered her a grateful smile.

Me: "Thank you, Christine. I know I've been difficult to deal with lately, but I appreciate your patience and support."

Christine returned my smile.

As the sun rose higher in the sky, casting a warm glow through the windows, I felt a sense of hope stirring within me. The road ahead might be rocky but I knew I could overcome any obstacle that lay in my path.