Reality
"... is something wrong Kurama?" Matatabi asked in worry while rubbing her stomach, she had which with her host, leading her form to take on her appearance. I came to Matatabi for one reason, because she was the second tail, she was the easiest person for me to absorb, and the fact she was pregnant helped.
"Everything is alright, I just came to check up on you and my child," I said softly, to which Matatabi smiled happily before pulling my hand, placing it on her stomach,
"This is our child, don't bring a sad aura around our child. what if he could sense it?" She said with a smile, to which I simply nodded. I took a deep breath before turning around and walking away, leaving Matatabi with a confused look.
'Naruto...' Cold killing intent filled my eyes while looking at my shaking palm. I couldn't absorb it, it turned out Naruto when he opened the 8 gates of death, did more than simply cast the jutsu to summon the grim Reaper, the other was a genjutsu, which restored the other me which I should have killed. now my mind is filled with all types of conflicted thoughts, was I doing the right thing? I'm no different from my parents.
of course, all of these thoughts were bullshit, I can do no wrong for I'm perfect... while, how can I be if my inner state wasn't perfect. I needed to go kill that other side, so I disappeared, appearing before the waterfall of truth, and went on to sit down, only to open my eyes when I heard footsteps heading my way.
Having no time to listen to this, I went on to try and destroy this guy like I did last time, but he didn't disappear. instead, he just stood there, looking at me with a helpless look
"you never truly erased me, if you did you would have wanted to absorb the other tail beast sooner, instead you took this long before thinking of doing so." He said softly, to which I just sneered
"I didn't need them, so I never bothered. they would have been of use," I said coldly, to which he shook his head for a moment.
"I can't lie, everything I say is your deepest subconscious thought. feelings you lock away and avoid to face had on... in truth, you're a coward, fearing to face reality. tell me, why do you put so much attention on creating jutsu to rewrite reality?" He asked softly, making me laugh mocking
"Me a coward? what do I fear, what does a perfect being have to fear? Who does not want the power to rewrite reality as they wish?" I said with a cold sneer, to which he just shook my head
"Perfect being? does a perfect being lie to themselveS? seeking the power to rewrite reality to make their lies true? would perfect being be controlled by a hatred held towards a 15-year-old?" He asked to which my face turned dark
"You are nothing more than a false perfect being, you lie to others, you manipulate others, and control the world for your gains. if you were perfect, shouldn't everyone be drawn towards you naturally? shouldn't everyone worship you naturally?" He asked making veins slowly grow on my forehead,
"Shut Up, all my suffering and pain. it all came around to reward me with the chance to reach perfection. sure I might not be perfect now, but what about in the future? I suffered, yet I was gifted with this chance to become a god." I said while looking at my hands, a mad smile imprinted on my face
"All your suffering and pain... there is a saying Nagato said, MY pain is greater than yours. tell me, is your pain so great that you can be rewarded with such things? tell me, since when did others struggle to reward them with great things?" He asked making me frown
"Let's look at a person who had suffered far greater than you... Sasuke Uchiha. A kid with a perfect life, a loving family, and a large clan and he was the young master. yet above all that he had Itachi Uchiha, his big brother, his hero. but what happened?" He asked calmly, making my frown deepen
"One night he came home to find his whole clan slaughtered, and to find his brother at the center of it all. and to make it worse, his brother wanted to use him, wanting to print a seed of hatred within Sasuke, forcing Sasuke to watch how everyone died, so many times that he awakened the sharingan. tell me, do you know how it feels? losing everything, all at the hands of the person you looked up to?" He asked making my face darkened
"Yet it only got worse as he found out that Itachi only slaughtered the clan because they were about to launch an attack on the hidden leaf. to prevent a war, Itachi at the age of 14 was forced to side with the greater picture over his own family. yet what did Sasuke do? did he fall into a depression like someone else? no, he found it within him to forgive the village and his brother and fight for the greater good." He said to which I couldn't take it anymore
"He was nothing more than a brainwashed full, just look at how he ended? died only to reincarnate once more, but this time without a Naruto to join him. this only shows how I'm special," I said with a cold laugh,
"Indeed, you're special in the fact you refuse to face reality. let's look for a moment at the first thing you did upon finding yourself in Kurama's body. you first tried to see if this was a dream, before making the goal of gaining a human form. why? these so-called disgusting things, why would you take on their image?" He asked, I quickly wanted to refute it, but he didn't stop talking
"Itachi, he suffered more than you. Kakashi, he suffered more than you... we can ignore this world and look back on our past lives. how many people there have died a curl death, how many there have lives worse than you? those who lived through the holocaust, those who lived through war, and the list goes on. you have seen those videos that were on the dark web, you know well what those videos might hint at. even in the modern era, people are suffering." he said making me grit my teeth in rage, I angrily flashed before him, punching him hard across the face, sending him slamming into the water. sat on top of him, my fist raining down nonstop
"Who are you to tell me my pain means nothing? I spent my whole life building my life, yet a few words from a little girl led to me being sent to the hospital by my parents in critical condition. a few words from a little girl led to everything I had disappearing, a few words made everything I have ever done disappear, all proven pointless and useless. any chance for a better future was destroyed. This is my fucking reward, this is the world rewarding me for enduring all that bs without making that little bitch regret ever being born." I roared in rage, yet the other me just laid there, not injured in the slightest with every punch I landed, he just took every punch, allowing me to ask out,
"All that was not meaningless, all that pain, it was a test, and this is my fucking reward. I endured it all, and now I'm rewarded." I yelled but my words seemed forced, as if I was trying to force myself to believe it.
"Life sucks, sometimes there is no meaning to things. things just happen... thats the cold harsh truth. there is no such thing as perfection, perfection is like omnipotence, and the two come together... but trying to be perfect, starts with letting go of the pain, and using it to become the best version of yourself... cry it out, you never cried, and instead you had kept it all inside." He said softly while looking deeply at me, whose eyes were red. indeed I never cried, I never lashed out, all that pain was only flowing out now.
"FUCK...." I roared at the sky, before falling to the side, and just covering my face, for the first time in my life, I was facing reality, and the truth. I was the villain here, I was the farthest thing from perfection... I have been living within an illusion, trying to make it my reality.