The Secret Silence

Pitch darkness...

"Where am I?", Marina called out to the black abyss all around her. There was no echo or anything that called out back to her. It was just silence. Everywhere Marina turned, it was just pitch blackness. It was suffocating. Marina had to find a way out before she could have a panic attack from her childhood trauma that caused her claustrophobia, that should have been long forgotten by now.

Marina felt her pulse quicken as she realized she was breathing deeply less and less. Marina gripped her throat to get rid of an invisible rope that was slowly choking her. She could breathe normally and she wasn't feeling any pain but her heart was beating so fast that she could see it beating out of her chest. Marina winced as she felt her heart squeeze in panic and frustration. She felt angry...but why? A ringing in her ears filled her brain with immense pain. Marina shut her eyes and covered her ears from the awful ringing from the silence around her. There was no floor underneath her but she felt herself fall to an invisible ground and curl into a ball.

Marina hated feeling angry. It filled her with so much pain, anxiety, and, worse of all, guilt. Marina reminded herself countless times that it was okay to be angry at the world sometimes but during those times she can't control herself. She would lash at every little thing that caused her even a little bit of discomfort, but this was different. She has never felt so much anger in her life that it would hurt her so badly.

Marina wasn't thinking properly. All thoughts of where she was or how to escape this forsaken dark void that she has mysteriously fallen into. Marina slowly gasped for her and went on her knees. She braced herself for what she would do when she was angry. Marina leaned back and gasped for air one last time before she would unleash her rage. Marina shouted at the top of her lungs to unleash her anger and adrenaline. All of it stopped...the pain...the ringing...She just felt limp. Marina fell on her back as she landed on the invisible force that held her afloat. Everything was turning darker than the void around her. Marina lifted a hand into the air, for a reason she did not know why. As her hand slowly became a blurry vision...she felt herself grow lighter as she was becoming unconscious. Marina let her hand fall to her side as she closed her eyes...

"Hmmm~"

Someone was humming...

The tune of the humming was quite like a lullaby from when Marina was still in her earlier youth, in other words, her childhood. It sounded so familiar yet...the words were lost in the forest of forgotten memories. Marina followed the humming of the unknown person. Her heart felt lighter and at ease.

Marina opened her eyes to see who else was with her in this endless dark void. Marina's eyes widened as she looked around her. She was back home...She was by the tree that was at the backyard of her house, but it didn't look quite the same as she remembered. Marina touched the bark of the tree. It wasn't the same light rich brown color of the oak tree she once climbed in her earlier youth. It was grayish like it has died a long time ago. Marina looked up and saw different leaves than what she remembered. They weren't the hand looking leaves she remembered...they were thinner and closer to each other. Marina looked at the thin branches and realized that they weren't strong enough for her tire swing that was nowhere to be found.

Marina closed her eyes. It was peaceful. After all the anger and pain she had just felt, this was so calming for her mind, body, and soul. Everything just washed away as she was at peace. Her pulse slowed down and all the built-up tension in her body relaxed. She felt as though someone behind her was humming again although she was alright with it. Right now, she was fine with the gentle soft humming of the person behind her and the rustling of the willow leaves around her...

Marina's eyes shot wide open. She looked up at the tree and indeed it was a willow tree. The leaves enclosed around her like an embrace. Marina twirled around to see no one behind her humming but she could still hear the humming. Marina sat down at the bottom of the tree and leaned her back on the tree. She closed her eyes once more but this time she hummed to the familiar tune that surrounded her.

"In the darkest of shadows,"

Marina didn't open her eyes as she heard a woman's voice around her sing a strange song. Marina continued to rest on to the tree and hum along on to the gentle singing of the woman's voice.

"Under the drooping leaves,

Under the weeping willows,

A song is calling out to me."

The woman's voice...was singing such a sweet voice....but her song of sorrow was edged with a deep longing for something that has been taken away.

"When all was lost and gone,

No escape from this reality.

When the raging fires are finally done,

Ashes upon ashes, as far as the eye can see."

The woman's voice was growing louder as if she was approaching closer before her. Marina dare not open her eyes for fear it may break the singing. Marina felt a cold hand cup her cheek as the singing of the woman was directly in front of her face. Marina leaned into the woman's icy touch as though it was cold, it left a warm and safe feeling in her heart. Marina felt a tear trail down her cheek but it wasn't hers. The woman was crying and her tears were softly splattering down on Marina's cheeks like morning dew being flown in the wind.

"The howling raging wind is calling out you,

But why don't you hear it scream your name,

Why do you hold on fallacies and untruths?

Didn't you ever realize the wind of the untamed."

The woman leaned her forehead towards Marina's and the icy coldness cooled Marina's mind from anything that was stressing her. She was truly at peace for once in her life as far as she can remember.

"Why do you close your eyes, in the face of fear?

Why do you always think you are alone?

When we were all standing right here,

But it's like you have never known."

The woman started to hum her song of longing once more and Marina followed her tune. Marina extended a hand to coldness she felt in front of her but when she reached for the hand that was cupping her cheek there was nothing there. Marina felt her hand merely touch her warm cheek instead of the cold hand that she could feel against her skin.

Marina set her mind to open her eyes although her instincts screamed no to every part of her body, she badly wanted to know who this woman was, where had this song come from, how does she know the tune of this song, why is everything so familiar, and what was stopping her from opening her eyes and knowing the answers to all of her questions. Marina stopped humming along and began to speak to the person who continued to hum, even though Marina has already stopped the duet of their humming.

The words that came out of her mouth weren't the ones she thought she would say. Marina wanted to ask the person if she could open her eyes first instead of doing it directly for she had a feeling that she needed to. They weren't how she would have normally said these words...she began to sing to the humming of the woman whose voice sounded like she was beside her as if she was sitting beside her upon the willow tree.

"There once was a wounded and broken girl,

Who was chosen and ruled the lands of hell,

And although she loved each part of the underworld,

Her soul and love were in places where no one could tell."

The more Marina sang her unintended words, the air around her had begun to grow cold and crisp, as she heard the wind howl and whistle around her as if it was moved by the words that escaped her mouth. The woman had slowly stopped humming but the rustling of the leaves and the creaking of the branches sounded like they were continuing the melody as well.

"A splendid king of the land and heavens,

Sought to find a pure and caring heart,

And as he laid his eyes on two maidens,

The other one was falling apart."

Marina was confused by the ridiculous words that were coming from her mouth. 'Splendid king? What kind of splendid king would lay eyes on two maidens and break the heart of one as he split his love? Sounded more like a greedy king.', Marina furrowed her eyebrows at the thought but she indeed continued to sing the song, as the woman beside her remained the silent with only the deep breaths she took as a reminder that she was still beside Marina.

"There are stories of love in fairy tales,

But none of these can compare,

To the love of the unbroken and fair,

In the churning of the cold and heartless air.'

Marina felt herself shiver as the air around her grew more chilly and as the wind became more violent. It was getting harder and harder to breathe the cold air. Each breath dried her throat of moisture. Marina rubbed her hands on the goosebumps forming on her forearms. Her teeth shivered and clacked together.

Then, everything went silent. No more leaves rustling. No more wood creaking. No more howling and whistling of the window. Not even the breath of the woman beside her. The only thing she could hear, was herself shivering immensely.

Marina felt the woman lean in close to her ear. She could feel the cold breath of the woman as she breathed down on her skin.

"Be wary, forgotten one, when the seasons turn cold and the winds grow silent."