Rocky Relationship With The Rockwaller's?!

One week. The 'rents lasted one week with me in pre-k and already they are getting the babysitters they discussed on. I'm surprised they lasted this long, honestly.

Kim was insistent on me coming over to play at her place, so I was able to do that for this week. Unfortunately, her parents decided to visit other family members. Which is code for the other lady family members wanna rub Mrs. Dr. P belly. So that explains why it took my 'parents' a week to get the Rockwaller twins to come and babysit me with their baby sister.

Now did I know they were bringing Bonnie with them? Nope. No idea. So you can understand my predicament when all three of them were dropped off at my house; even though I was already alone, with the front door unlocked so they could get in, for nearly two hours! They were expected to show up at that time two hours ago, but the parents couldn't wait as they already had a dinner appointment. So they left the four year old me...alone.

Le sigh. Man... Can't wait until I'm actually old enough to take advantage of that!

Lonnie: "So you the kid we watching?"

I would hope you kinda figure that out as I'm the only one besides your two sisters.

Me: "Yes ma'am. I'm R-"

Connie: "Don't care. Bonnie, go play with the little kid. Me and Lonnie have better things to do."

Seriously?! What is up with this cliche bad person after bad person?! First the cruddy parents, now cruddy babysitters! What's next?! Evil monkey?! Oh... ah shi..znit.

Me: "Um.. want to play with my blocks?"

Bonnie: "You look weird."

Ugh, I know. Give me a break okay. I have accepted I shall have elephant ears for life.

Bonnie: "But let's be friends, k?"

Me: "Yes please!"

And that's when I was dragged off. Even if I know who she will be like in the future doesn't mean I can't be nice to her now. Who knows, maybe she and Kim can be friends through me.

Though I doubt that can happen.

We ran, we frolic'd, I was buried under clothes as she dressed me in different clothes. Not that I had a wide variety of clothes, but that didn't stop her from having me play dress up. What were Connie and Lonnie doing? They were talking to some boys on the phone. And let me tell you, it was absolutely nostalgic to see wired phones again. I swear those two were just a few more cord wraps away from looking like hostage victims.

It was all in all a fun time surprisingly. Of course I'm in a universe where apparently four year olds are the new seven. Because, so far, both Kim and Bonnie can hold complete sentences. Which is pretty dang cool since I don't have to lower my grammatical conversations. Not like I have any. Pfft.

Apparently boys are not as smart as girls. I was told so. So it must be true, yeah?

Well I call wrong! I say this because Connie and Lonnie, the dum dum twins!, decided to tell the said boys where they were tonight! Oh, and did I mention they were sixteen year old boys talking to twelve year old girls? Yeah, see where I'm going with this?

Me and Bonnie were upstairs when we heard loud voices that were clearly a little more masculine than what the twins sounded like. So what do a pair of little kiddies do? Well we go peek down the stairs to see what is going on.

Connie: "Knock it off Jason. We only told you where we were, not to come over."

Lonnie: "Especially with friends we never met..."

Jason: "Well you met them now girls. And I know you wanted some friends to keep you company while you watch some brats. We'll have our own fun while they play."

Another cliche line in another cliche scenario. Am I clenching my fists? Probably. Am I freaking out a little? Yeah. A little... Am I more concerned about the three young ladies in my home? Like you wouldn't believe.

So one thing that sucks about being back in the 90s. The lack of cell phones. And every household apparently only has the ONE phone located in the living room. And guess where the big kids were. Ugh, this is bad. Straight up bad.

Okay, gotta be the man here.

Me: "Bonnie. You need to hide in my room. Come on."

Bonnie: "Why?"

Oh god no. Not the why's. The last word anyone wants to hear. Or at least the one that is always repeated by a kid.

Me: "I don't trust those boys. Mom and dad only said your sisters were supposed to be here."

Bonnie: "But I came too."

Me: "Yeah but you're my friend, right?"

And that's how you make a girl smile... And now I feel like a creeper. This whole reincarnation thing does have it disadvantages. Like the fact I will have to deal with puberty. And everyone 'knowing more than me'. Good times.

We went back and I made her promise to keep the door locked and let no one in but me, her sisters, or hopefully, the parents.

Now to go save some dumb dumb twins.

Thankfully being small makes me light on my feet. So I sneak down the stairs, being one with the walls. I am very sneaky. Call me the sneak meister.

I have made it to ground floor. Now to keep being stealthy....shit! Things just got worse.

Lonnie: "Get your hands off me! Look Jason, you need to go! Take your friends and get out."

Jason: "Ah come on. We are all having fun here. Look, your sis is having fun."

Nope, not fun at all. Connie is pushing two guys away while they are cornering her to one side of the room. Two of the buddies have now surrounded Lonnie while Jason kept her diatracted. Everything went down the drain too soon.

I ran to the kitchen and grabbed a knife as fast as I could. Now I think the golden rule of not running with a knife could be ignored in this scenario. So hopefully I can be forgiven in this situation.

Me: "Get away from the girls! I'm warninf you!"

Definently didn't bite my tongue. I meant to talk like that. Yep.

Jason: "Hey kid, didn't your mom tell you not to play with knives?"

Another cliche line. Today is not my day. Not taking my eyes off any of these bastards. Time to be assertive here.

Me: "This is my home. Get out!"

Jason: "Kid, put the knife down. You're gonna get hurt if you try to do anything. Just what are you gonna do with that anyway? Were the big guys here, little man."

And another cliche scenario. The group of five boys are now all chuckling. Well guess what boys. I am not above shoving this knife where the sun don't shine. Or even cut away your manhood. There's no mercy in my bones.

One of the boys thought it would be funny to try his luck. I thought it was funny when I shoved the knife right into his leg. Now he's squealing like a pig and I got a little blood on my face. No, the blood did not splatter from the massive injury I incurred on him. It barely went in. No, when he pulled away from me, a little blood flicked off the knife and hit me in the face.

Makes me look like a crazed serial killer I guess because they are now grimacing at what happened.

Didn't last long because pack mentality kicked in and the older boys all charged at me. Which was a very unfortunate thing. I kinda freaked. I nicked another in the arm but they got the knife from me.

And so here's my day so far. Couldn't hang with Kim, parent's ditched me, babysitters came late, made a new friend with Bonnie, bad boys crashed my home, stabbed some bad boys, and now I'm getting kicked around by bad boys. Just yay me. I wonder if the original Ron ever had to deal with this.

Connie and Lonnie were useless. Just watching me get kicked around. Yay pre-teens.

Well things changed fast once I heard Bonnie scream.

Jason: "Someone get up there and shut the damn kid up! I'm already fed up with this shit and need my fun before we leave."

Well let's just say I no longer think the twins are useless. I had grabbed one of the boys and tried to hold him back. Kinda can't. Because I'm four. So I'm not strong enough. Anyways, once he kicked me away and headed for Bonnie, the twins suddenly switched gears. They went from meek cats to feral mountain lionesses.

Are all the women in this universe secretly bad ass? A question I will find an answer to in the future.

So anyways again, I do tend to divert off, Connie and Lonnie went feral on the boy's asses. And with Bonnie cheering them on, they fought even harder; and man were they brutal. Hair was being pulled, kicks below the belt were not unfair, hell, I think they tried to crush one of the guys' eyeball. But they were knocked off before they could pull it off.

Thankfully one of the neighbors heard Bonnie's scream and called the cops. Which, funny enough, saved the boys' life. They officers arrived in time to arrest them and get me off to the hospital.

And that's where Kim and Bonnie met me. And whew boy was that a whole different can of worms that I was not ready for.