Life As A Baby Endeth - Pre-K Here I Come!

Ya know, I understand why the original Ron was so attached to Kim Possible. When you have parents who seem do detached to their own kid, it causes the kid to form a dependency to anyone who shows any form of affection. And man, he had it rough apparently.

Or me, now, actually. Either way this is just ridiculous. Thankfully I am not an actual child but a reincarnated soul. So in a sense, I fit the criteria to be called an old soul. So booyah.

But the baby years were not kind to say the least. I'm surprised I survived it. Having to pretend to be loving to the parents and wanting their hugs and gentle words to sooth me. I mean, come on, show me that I'm important!!

Ahem...

Teething sucked. Just so y'all know. But hey, the crappy parents did one good thing at least. No, no, they did not give me a cold chewy rubber thing. They gave me WHISKEY! Oh man does that help!! Knocked the pain out amd even my senses but that's okay. i persevered and made it to four years old! I am finally in pre-K! Hoping I can make a friend or two. I am so starved for attention.. I mean social interactions.

Yeah, totally what a four year old kid should desire. A nice conversation on the imminent doom of our future career choices and failings as individuals. Yep. My peers should understand where I'm coming from.

Wow, that is depressive.

Anyways, moving on! Needless to say, but I will anyway, I am glad to get outta here. And so are the parents apparently...

Mrs. Stoppable (ain't calling her mom unless I gotta): "I am so glad we listened to the neighbors, the Possible's, up the hill. I needed to get our kid out of my hair so I can work more in the firm. At the rate I am going now, I will never get out of basic traffic ticket claims."

Mr. Stoppable (also, ain't calling him dad): "I told you those W.A.S.P's were decent people. But remember, we can still get the Rockwaller's from temple to have their girls watch over him as well. That will give us plenty of time to focus on us."

Wow, a racist Jew... Then again, tis the generation of people who always jab in words thinking nothing of it. So would that just make them passively aggressive hateful? Not sure, but I guess meeting up with the Rockwaller twins in my future. And Bonnie. Oh my, the Queen B herself. That's gonna be interesting.

The drive was mostly uneventful. I was placed in the back, buckled in (yep, buckled. No car seat. These people are savages! And cheap!), and away we go!

Cue the parents talking. Me observing the road. The trees. The passing cars. You know, just generally being seen but not heard. It keeps me from having to talk to them. Turns out my desire to always sneak about to read magazines and any books I could my hands on bothered them. Nope, not proud I was being an inquisitive child. Just annoyed with it.

So no books to read, or pictures in magazines, to keep me sane. You can see why I am happily willing to meet with children my own age to make friends with. I. FREAKING. NEED. THIS!

Thankfully the drive to the school did not take long. Or is it a daycare? I'm going in for pre-k so I am assuming it is a school. And what in the sweet firey Amos's ass is that?! You have got to be kidding me! They call it ACB school?! The dang sign that looks like blocks is freaking mis-spelled! It is ABC ya nimrods! Don't change the blocks around to be cute! That stunts growth!

I am totally not being anal about any of this. Not at all.

Mr. S: "Come along Ronald. Me and your mother have plans and do not wish to stay for long."

Me: "Mama, you're not coming?" (ugh, hate having to call her that.)

Mrs. S: "No Ronald. Hurry along with your father. We will be back later to pick you up when school ends."

Well that was a curt response if I ever heard one. Which is usually the only responses i get. Well at least I get the hint, 'Get out'. So I followed Mr. S from the car, more like had to run after since he didn't wait on me, and that's when I saw them. The Possible clan.

And just oh em gee, they looked like a perfectly happy family... Mrs. Dr. P was already cooking up the twins in the belly. Mr. Dr. P was prepping Kim up for school. And Kim, she was hugging her momma's belly saying she can't wait to see her baby sister. Heh, poor girl. Ya gonna get twin baby brothers.

What the fu..dge? Did I just see a blue kid, a monkey boy, and a boy in a skirt just run by? What in the blazes is that all about?

Any who... Off to get me in class. Which was kinda fun. I guess. We had coloring time, we had a different ensemble of toys and such to play with, and those three kids I saw earlier? They straight up are brats. I already got a time out for punching blue boy in the arm when he pulled Kim's braids. You don't mess with a ladies hair. Never~.

So maybe I got caught up in playtime, err, socialising with the new kids, that I forgot that I should make buddy buddy with Kim! But alas, nap time. And oh my goodness. Nap time is awesome. I mean I already take naps, but having a designated time?! Ingenious.

Though I was listening to the three brats. Blue boy and monkey boy were talking about making Kim's life miserable. I might have been annoyed. One, because that is rude. Two, they are interrupting nap time. And then three, I figured out who they were. And frankly, never saw this episode. When the hell did Drakken, Monkey Fist, and Duff Killigan become kids?!

When nap time was over, I had a plan. I may be a pipsqueak now but I can't ignore grown men picking on a kid. While they were also kids. Just how are they kids? Whatever. Plan was to fight once they engaged with Kim. Original Ron always had her back. Who's to say I can't be just as awesome!

Recess had started and we were all let out to play and frolic. Kids were sliding, some were running, Kim was running with a ball. Me, I was by the fence. Watching. Waiting. Ever ready to pounce. Oh! Dude! Lamppost across the street just fell onto a building! Huh? Is that Shego? And older Kim? Wow, they um.. Wow. So I may not have hormones controlling me yet, but they are wearing some very nice close fitting clothes. Are they both in yoga pants?

I heard kid Kim crying and that got me back to the problem at hand. The three brats, secretly grown men, had taken the ball from Kim. Those bastards! You don't take! You share!

Me: "What are you doing?! We aren't monsters here. We have rules! Structure! It was her ball first."

Now I know that a four year old talking like that is weird. But screw them. I know the Ron Stoppable motto! 'Never Be Normal', and I shall strive to do so! Unfortunately for me, they weren't listening.

So yeah, I might have been backed up to the ball post, but I still stood my ground!

Me: "You guys don't scare me! I have an imaginary friend Rufus and he's huge!"*

Okay fine, so I may have huddled up a little. But damnit, I still stared them down! Great news is that Kim apparently had her bad assery genes kick in. I swear she might have been genetically altered, because how does a little girl suddenly do flips and launch unto the air before landing feet first in Drakken's face. It was kinda cool to see.

She might have gotten the most hits in. But I made sure to kick Monkey Fist between the legs. Bastard deserves it for all the headaches in the future. He is my arch-enemy after all.

Watching those three run away was hilarious if you ask me. I grabbed the ball to return it to her. The girl put up a hell of a fight. She wants it, she gets it. Definently don't want to be on the receiving end of those kicks. So I handed the ball to her.

Me: "Here you go. Thanks for the help. I had them, but you really knocked their socks loose!"

Aaawww, she giggled. That's adorable. Hope I'm not being creepy.

Kim: "You're kind of weird... But I like you."*

Sweet! Not a creep!

Me: "Wanna be friends?"

Kim: "I'd like that. Want to play?"

Me: "Yes please!"

And that's how I got my first friend ever. I definitely am not crying from joy. It's sweat from all the running! Though I could have sworn I saw the older Kim taking a picture. But I was rubbing my eyes and when I looked up I didn't see anybody.

Doesn't matter. I have a friend now. Pre-K rocks!