So, it’s time for my long overdue 25-chapter review (I’m 113 chapters in at time of this review). As always, I will try to remain positive and give impartial feedback.
Note: this review is very long and doesn't contain a TL;DR.
Pros (the good)
> Character development. It isn’t very often that writers give a chapter intro to the MC when they are in their original world and this can cause issues with character development in the early chapters (there are exceptions). The fact that the MC does have such a chapter (and it’s so damn realistic, it’s scary), really helps to establish that connection between the reader and the MC. Being able to relate to the MC truly makes a story more enjoyable.
> World building. Another great forte of this story is its sense of wonder for the world. I don’t really know how to describe this but establishing an attraction from the reader to know more about the world is evidence of good writing. While the specific laws for this world haven’t been clearly defined yet (what are the restrictions), there is still tonnes of time to establish this in future chapters.
> Realistic characters. This is pretty self-explanatory. I’m not really sure why readers/writers like it when the MC acts so unrealistic but I know that I don’t. The main thing I want to draw attention to is the MC’s trauma. I have seen a couple reviews and comments on people complaining about the MC’s passivity but there are two major factors at play which make the MC’s current passivity a more likely scenario if it were played out realistically. First, the MC is not sure of the extent of their abilities. This is becoming less an issue where I am in the novel but in earlier chapters it is a major factor. Second, clicking your fingers and suddenly you’re okay is just complete BS, especially if it is the sort of trauma described in the MC. Clearly most people here possess the lowest of the lowest quantities of knowledge for how psychology works and I find people’s unrealistic desires are more annoying than the passivity of the MC. The MC isn’t even that bad. When pushed into a corner, they will definitely release their ability and pretty much pummel the other party and they are recovering at a rate that could already be considered quite rapid. I’m not about to explain the psychology behind the MC’s actions. I don’t have that much time. If you want to know, go look it up yourself.
Cons (what needs fixing)
> Grammar. Haha, I’m not really sure how many times I have said this in a review but it is definitely allot. Accurate use of grammar is necessary in order for a reader to be able to interpret certain sentences correctly. In particular, the inaccurate use of commas is an issue in this novel as I have occasionally found it hard to determine sentence breaks if I’m just chill reading. How can this be fixed? Easy. Just read the sentence to yourself slowly and, wherever you notice there is a natural pause, place a comma. Just take note of where I leave my commas in this review if an example is necessary. Leave a comment, author, if you need further elaboration.
> Munted sentences. Thankfully, these are few and far between. In fact, I have not come across any in recent chapters. Basically, these are sentences which can be difficult to interpret or can be interpreted in more than just a couple of ways. They often occur when writers get into their “zone” and start just writing whatever comes to mind then forget to proof read. As an editor, I have seen my fair share of munted sentences and can fix them in my head quickly but it may be more difficult for lighter readers. As I already said though, they mostly don’t exist in the most recent chapters, which is great!
Grey area (what doesn’t classify as particularly good nor necessarily need fixing)
> Technicalities and science. I realise that this isn’t a major focus of the novel (it is fantasy afterall) but, as a man of science, I feel compelled to address the author’s use of… “speed of light” travel. *Gasp* *horror* That’s right, I said it! So, the problem with travelling at the speed of light is twofold. First, the connotations of travelling at such speeds, and second, but a bit less importantly, the ability to actually see at such speeds. I’ll dumb it down allot so, if you want more details, leave a comment with the question you want answered.
- First issue. It is common knowledge that travelling at the speed of light is impossible thanks to special relativity- “But Wolf, there is magic in this worl-“ Hold ya horses, I’m not done yet. Assuming that you were able to achieve such a speed through some unnatural means like magic, an event known as matter warping will occur. You ever ask why scientists can only propel fundamental particles near the speed of light? Yeah? This is why (also energy requirement but that’s besides the point). Basically, when an object speeds up, it gets hotter due to the latent energy contained within the object. We don’t notice this as humans because we are not moving nearly fast enough for this to be realised. Well, when an object travels fast enough, the heat in the object will be enough to destabilise the particles atomic structure and it will split down into its fundamental particles. “But Wolf, that’s why they use a shiel-“ I’m afraid that protection against forces causing friction won’t help you here. Same as g-forces, a shield won’t be able to protect you because It is based solely on how fast you are traveling, not what you are traveling through. So, I’m now happy to reveal to all the readers and author that, congratulations, the moment the MC achieved “speed of light” travel, they were disintegrated into their fundamental particles, but there is a workaround.
- Second issue. Assuming that the above isn’t an issue (I’ll describe how to get around it momentarily), the MC would most certainly NOT be able to see while traveling at such speeds, at least, not without the help of magic to scan the area. Neglecting the fact that your brain definitely cannot calculate that fast, traveling at the speed of light means, well, there ain’t no light reaching your eyes, at least, not in the way you want it to. This is more a hypothetical thing as no one has ever travelled anywhere near the speed of light, but you would likely see an array of colours in the form of streaks zipping past at ludicrous speeds relative to you. Definitely no discernible images. It would look something like the lightspeed jumps common in space simulators like Hellion, Elite Dangerous or Star Citizen. Actually, maybe not Elite Dangerous as that is a bit different.
So, what is the workaround? Easy. Just a simple two words, ‘spatial manipulation’. The last part of this review is directed more towards the author in case they want to delve more into a science explanation later on in the novel, as such, I will change my vocabulary to make it seem as though I am having a conversation with them.
The advantage that you have in this novel is that you haven’t really defined any laws for how the mana itself actually works and, that means, you don’t have to worry about altering past chapters (not that I expect you to anyway). Because the MC’s magic works off of imagination, it means that the mana just has to work around the laws while still upholding the MC’s will. It might seem as though the MC is being accelerated to “c” (speed of light) but this is not necessarily the case. So long as the MC’s will is done, it doesn’t matter how the mana goes about it. Spatial manipulation is the key here. What the mana is actually doing is enclosing the MC (and their pet) in a sealed spatial plane/subdimension, (a bubble if you will) which is imposed on the actual plane, and then accelerating the ENTIRE subdimension to the speed of light by shrinking space in front and lengthening space behind causing a wormhole effect. That way ‘space’ is what is taking the effect of lightspeed travel rather than the entities within said space. Since you would be using the wormhole effect, a shield would not even be necessary as the MC is not physically traveling at lightspeed, their temporary subdimension is. Using this theory, you would be able to even exceed lightspeed. Would this still cause nausea, my oath it would, so you don’t have to worry about removing the MC’s pet’s reaction. Keep in mind that this does not fix the second issue. The MC would still need to use magic to see.
Well, there you have it! The good, the “needs fixing” and the in-between. Do I recommend this novel? Abso-f*cking-lutely! Just don’t click on this novel expecting romance (not at the current releases anyway) or an MC who stomps on everyone who is in their way. If that’s what you want, this novel is not for you. But the reader is their own best critic. Still not sure? Give it a go. There is only one way to find out if you will like it or not. It's a shame I could not give this novel a solid 5 stars (as I would like to) but the mistakes brought it down to 4.6 (I'm being impartial remember).
As I’ve already said, if anyone has any questions or problems with my review, leave a comment and I will answer if I can.
…1590 words later…
Holy sh!t I need to find a better way to spend my time other than writing essays on how an author is going on their work. Don’t ever tell me that I don’t support the authors that I read from.