So Many

So many years of my life,

Were such a disgrace!

But guess what?

I'm still running after the rat race.

Always sleeping,

Eating and again sleeping,

I'm passing my time,

Just for nothing.

What has happened to me?

Now I'm like a dried leaf:

Dangling on the branch of a tree,

I can fall down very easily.

O Lord, O Radhe

Why have You wasted Your blessings

Upon this fallen soul?

Because I do absolutely nothing,

I'm such a fool.

I know I cannot live without His embrace,

Without seeing His beautiful face,

Without hearing the enchanting flute,

Without being teased by Him out of blue!

But maybe I'm as fallen as a hog,

It seems I can't stand the beauty and grace.

And that's why O Gaur Hari,

O Vishvambhar!

I beg for Your mercy!

As I wasted so many years of my life,

It seems I might repeat it all over again,

As I have no other way left for my life,

I bow down before You again and again.

I don't ask all,

Just a millionth part of the drop of that nectar,

So that I can always be in remembrance:

Of my sweet naughty beloved.

So that I can be amongst,

Beloved of His beloveds;

That's all I ask for.

As so many years of my life,

Were such a disgrace!

But I'm still, again,

Running after the rat race.