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please reset the booktitle BronzeBronzeman 20231218092329 22

Shunned by society for having too many dicks, I hid away my schlongy shame. But when dungeons began to rise, flooding the earth with thick streams of monsters, humans began to awaken, and my curse became my strength. With my double dick system I get twice the stats, and twice the skills that a normal one dicked person would get. Seems like a weird way to build a system, but I'm not complaining.

BronzeBronzeman · Fantasy
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10 Chs

Friendship and Gardening

Wait, I shouldn't start fighting the plant monsters until I've checked for people. What if I DO end up burning the apartment down? I should at least have the people at the ground floor ready to evacuate or something.

But it would be easier if I had something to cut the vines with. I remember taking that thing's arms from last night, and I pull them out of my holes. I should be able to make some one sided swords with these.

I don't want to mess with the blade, clearly they were functional, I just need to make something to hold onto. After I form the forging sphere, making it nice and big for these huge scythes, I put them in.

I add some more bug parts to start shaping the base of the arms into more of a handle. I shape a guard, a pommel, I add in the last bits of snakes I have to wrap around the handle for a better grip. It takes time, but I eventually finish them.

I can't really swing these around in the apartment, but they feel good in my hands. Almost like whoever forged the handles made them just for me.

Maybe after I get some more parts from monsters I can even make people armor with it. Then I could practice making armor and actually have a use for it. I only got a few levels on my forging skill so far.

After I put my swords in my holes, I start walking out of my apartment and down the stairs. I'll start at the first floor and work my way up. How am I gonna do this though? Bang on the door and hope they open up? Then break in every time if they don't answer?

This could take a while. If only I had some sort of detect life skill. Oh wait I do. I go to the first door by the stairs on the first floor and use my sight of the one eyed monster. Then I pour in more mana and focus on seeing the vines through the door, and through the wall.

I manage to do it again. I can see the vines all around the room, and I can see them growing in the street too. They're all over. I can only see so far down, but they're under the street and the apartment too. This is gonna be a pain without fire, or even with fire.

I don't see anything in the apartment though. Even if it's not life force and it's mana I can see, everyone should've awakened right? So they must have mana. Everyone in the train seemed to anyway.

I take my finger, just one this time, and make a stream of fire just at the tip, then I use my finger to burn a 1 onto the door, just under the number that's already there. I'll add my own number to each door I've checked so I don't lose track.

If I actually meet someone, maybe I'll ask for a pen and paper and write down which ones have people. For now I go to the next door. I could already see in mostly, but I just want to make sure I'm not missing some small faint color in the apartment.

There's nothing. I go on, and find nothing on the entire first floor, until I get to the last room at the end of the hall. I see two people close together. I knock on the door.

The colors jump but they don't say anything, they stay sitting down. I can see their status windows, Jenny and Loretta Bobbet. I say "Hey, I'm a human. I just wanna talk." They start to move then freeze. I continue "I can see through the door, just open it." Still nothing.

Then one of them says. "If you can see in here, how many people are there?" I say, as politely as I can "Two of you, now open the fucking door or I'll burn this whole place down."

For a moment there's nothing, then another voice says "Oh god, did you start all those fires last night?"

I'm trying to be as gentle as I can. I say "Lady, there was a swarm of fucking bug monsters, that's what I was burning. Now they're mulch and a fucking plant's gonna eat you if you stay in that fucking apartment all day."

They don't say anything. I try calming them down and say "Look, I can see who you are. Jenny and Loretta Bobbet, are you sisters?" For some reason this doesn't seem to calm them down, if anything they freak out more.

Jenny says "Oh god, how do you know our names?!" Loretta says "Oh god, he's gonna kill us!" I finally decide I've had enough of this and just open the door, with minimal damage to the frame.

I walk into the apartment and see them there. They scream, even though they're both fully clothed. I say "A door's not gonna stop anything, just calm down." They're screaming get out and shit, please don't kill us, they're crying. I should've just burned this place down.

They act like this isn't proof that I wouldn't do anything, even though clearly, if I wanted to kill them, they'd be dead. They didn't even level up at all.

"Okay whatever, there are roots underground, so you're all fucked. Just stay here though, I don't give a shit." I shut the door, but I don't slam it. Polite to the end.

I go back down to the lobby, I'm not doing this for every floor. What am I even gonna do with the people? Just tell them to all sit here while I fight, then come in and tell them to run if the place gets fucked up? Clearly people aren't gonna listen.

Am I gonna make a party with people like this? Tell them what to do, get them to fight and level up? They had a panic attack because I spoke to them, they even complain when I kill the monsters.

Fuck these people, fuck these apartments, fuck that guy and his loose fucking boxers. I'd rather talk to the fucking plant at this point.

I go outside and take a look at things with my normal sight. The vines and roots go all down the street, but they're even bigger down toward the direction of the fight last night.

I guess I'll still try not burning everything down, but the plant's gonna know I'm here, I can't walk down the street or on the buildings without stepping on a root or a vine.

As I walk down the street, vines start moving toward me. This shitty plant doesn't know how lucky it is. I have a type advantage and I'm not even using it. I pull out my swords and decide to try some landscaping.

Swinging them feels natural, and they cut through the vines easily. At least I have forging. And underwear. I hack away when they get close and keep walking down the street.

The attacks intensify as I go further. There must be a main body around here. Eventually I see a park, completely overtaken by the plant. There's a huge venus flytrap looking thing with teeth. There are also tons of smaller ones.

I don't know if they're separate plants or part of the same one. Either way, I just need to run over there and chop them up. Maybe I'll even try making a salad when I get back. Some of the vines and roots seem to have eyes though, so maybe I shouldn't eat them. Can people eat eyes? Can people eat vines? I should've looked this stuff up while I still had internet.

Imagine this dude threatens to burn down your apartment, then breaks in wearing this weird armor made of snakeskin, tentacles, amd giant bug parts. Then he's just standing there in your living room with his glowing purple eyes. He probably should've at least turned that off.

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