Meeting

Looking over the assembled troops pointing their guns at me I can not help messing with them. Reaching down into my fanny pack I open a portal just big enough for my hand to go through. Watching them tense up as my arm up to my elbow reached into the fanny pack. After a few moments of reaching around and hitting the air, I send my desire for a bag of jerky. Feeling a plastic bag in my hand I pull a ten-pound bag of jerky as big as my forearm out of the fanny pack.

Slicing off the top of the bag with one of my claws I reach inside the heavenly-smelling bag of goodness. Tossing a hand full of delicious meat into my maw taking slow and deliberate bites savoring the sweet teriyaki flavoring. Stifling a chuckle with another fist full of meat. Watching their expressions tense up further then turn to confusion and finally to bewilderment I overhear one of the team muttering "does he have a bag of holding?"

Smiling to him a big toothy smile. "No need this....this is something only gods can have, acquire one of these bad boys you need to through hell and back. While in hell you need to climb over dick mountain mouth first and finally as you reach the end of hell you need to sneak past the hoard of Karen's looking for the manager. A FANNYPACK of holding" was my body shaking reply my powerful voice shaking their hair a bit when I stressed the word 'fannypack' while looking into his soul. At the stressed words I grip both sides of the mentioned garment, and the only garment I am wearing. As I am speaking looking the greasy-haired one up and down guessing he is the one that whispered. Looking back down I noticed I spat out some jerky. Kind of hard to keep it in when your lips pull back as you speak. They look familiar now where did I know the form? While pondering I overhear a radio call.

"What is the situation, report immediately. Do you need backup SG teams on stand by" a quiet and nasally voice calls over their radio. SG mother fucking one looking closer I can see the brown-haired one looks like Jackson could pass for the actor's cousin or close relative. The same goes for the now Identified Teal'c who is wearing a hello kitty shirt and a beany. Jack who looks mid forty's half his graying hair. finally, Carter puts her acting counterpart to shame hard to tell through all the layered clothes but she's rocking at least a C cup.

Still munching on my jerky I can see them looking around I see Jack walk off to presumably answer the call over the radio. Tuning out the conversation cause as my dad would say when one messed with our family 'they can fuck around and find out. As I was about to start flirting with Sam, Jackson speaks up "Why do you not wear clothes?" They all tense up. Looking around I decided to break the ice and do a helicopter. "Do you know how sweaty balls can get in pants with having fur?" everyone stared at my twirling dick like one of those Hypno-magic tricks you see on stage. The first breakaway is Carter much to my disappointment, and aggravation now I have a bunch of dudes staring at my junk. Snapping my fingers breaks their concentration. "Gay" is the only word I say as they all start finding the wall interesting. Carter seemed more amused than anything looking her up and down I give a toothy smile "wanna fuck?" She looks at me with a dead-eyed stare. "I am fine thank you for the generous offer" she shoots back with more than enough sarcasm.

Shrugging my shoulders I couldn't help, but shoot my shot. "Your loss" then go back to eating my sweat and savory jerky. Standing there must be strange even for them. I mean it is not every day you are having a nine almost ten-foot-tall naked were-lion munching on jerky surrounded by seven armored Zombies.

I hear someone jogging back toward us looking around I see who I presumed to be Jack running back. He looks around and noticed the strange atmosphere. He walks toward the front of the group. "Would It be possible for us to take a blood sample to make sure that we are not catching anything....like lice?" He muttered that last part not taking offense to the weaker one here. "No can do, boy-o. Anyone who takes my blood intending to test it will get a nasty surprise." Smiling as I say that. Jack took an involuntary step back at the sight of my fangs covered in bits of processed meat.

A grimace spreads across his face "Why is that?". Looking over at the voice I see the rest of them get into a relaxed position as we were talking. Smiling at the unidentified speaker "So I do not get cloned I placed a curse on my blood and fur so when I leave a certain distance from me. If it does the curse is intent-based so use your imagination." I hear them mutter about curses and advanced technology. Jack Looks around for a few breaths and finally sighed. "Well could we have a meeting tomorrow top side. I am pretty sure we all need a little rest?" He asked Looking closer I can tell they are tired, starving, and ready to fall over at any time. Smiling "Sure we can meet in the morning." Waving my hand a portal opens up before me which leads to the top side. Waving the Zombies through, once gone I open one to my dimension straight to the shower. Looking back as I am leaving "See you later" I wave and give Sam a wink as I fully step through the portal.

----POV Change----

General Hammond

Looking over the assemble "Report O'Neill" Fighting down a yawn that is working its way up. Jack stands up looking over the assembled team "Well sir, it is one of the strongest first-contact situations we have ever had". As he speaks he starts rubbing his eyes. The rest of the team nods their heads in agreement.

"Sir, he mentioned something about cloning and curses. So either he has such advanced technology that he makes it seem like magic or he believes he has magic" she started scrunching up her nose at the mention of magic not that I blame her. Jackson speaks up next "Well he is flesh and blood as far as we can tell, he breaths, he speaks, so we made first contact with either what I guess is a furling or an unknown. Throughout history, there are mentions of shapeshifters, skin changes, and the like. So there is a possibility that they have been here?" He famed the statements as questions and answers to his bewilderment at the current situation.

"He does not seem right in the head at least from our point of view" Carter speaks up adding her two cents. "Only cause he asked you if you 'Wana Fuck'" Teal'c speaks up for the first time in the meeting, you can almost hear the air quotes in his voice. Looking back at carter "Did he Carter?" she rubbed her eyes and let out an exaggerated sigh. "Yes sir, he did not even have pants on and started swinging his genitalia around." Jack snorts at this "yes sir he was free 'ballin' as the kids say nowadays." Jackson gives a rueful smile "Ok boomer" Jack lets out a joking "I resent that" Looking around the table, giving a small unnoticed smile at the light atmosphere.

"Back to being serious, do we think it is technology, or do we think he has 'magic'?" Looking around the table everyone is thinking hard. "We can ask him tomorrow morning at the meeting, sir," Jack speaks up after a few moments of thinking. "Who will be going to the meeting?" Jackson speaks up looking around. Thinking it over for a few minutes "I will so will SG1 and ten armed guards." Speaking up getting the attention of everyone here.

"What will the meeting be about, sir?" Carter asked while writing down some of her questions. "Neutrality mostly, if he is as powerful as we think he is be glad he did not come down here kill, and rape his way through us," Jackson speaks up getting pointed looks from everyone in the room. "What? If he is a tenth as powerful as we think he is he could tank whatever we threw at him and done god only knows what." A sobering thought goes through all of our heads. Being from a weaker position form he and his people. "It is common among the galaxy to take what you want if you are more powerful," Teal'c speaks up breaking our thoughts from overworking.

"Sir, if we become his subordinates we could use his power to take back the top side and figure out what happened. I am personally curious if he could power the gate again. If it goes south we could act like we are letting him and just close the Iris keeping him from returning or he could become paste on the back side of the Iris." Jack speaks up bringing up another viable option. Nodding my head "We shall keep that in mind depending on his demands, and our answer. Tomorrow try and fish answers out of him, but be subtle about it no need for the rest of the men to have to fight the unknown."

Teal'c speaks up "We should only do that if it is our last option, he gives us a feeling of knowing us and everything about us." Jack nodded along with as he spoke "Sir, I would also like to point out that it was only a suggestion. I usually am ready for a fight, but something was unnerving about the way he carried himself. It was almost like he was ready to go at the drop of a hat." Taking a calming breath "Sir, he reminded me of a lion I saw at the zoo with Charlie." his voice breaks at the name of his dead son. Giving a self-deprecating smile "you can tell which lion was wild caught, and which ones were captive rise. The eyes way they look at you gives you a feeling of every action you take could lead to their stomach. I cannot describe it very well, but it was like we were prey he was toying with."

The sobering thought of him toying with us is enough for us to grimace. "Tomorrow show him every curtsy available. Do not be disrespectful in any way shape or form and for the love of god do not piss him off." I trusted Jack's instincts it is one of the main reasons he is alive today. Teal'c nodded along with him "Unlike the Goa'uld who give off the sense of self entitles superiority, he gives me the feeling of being more dangerous than Master Bra'tac." he muttered with unfocused eyes seeming lost in a memory of his old master.

Daniel spoke ups "Well if he is as that strong maybe we could point him at the Goa'uld?" Looking around the room getting nods of agreement." Rubbing my eye "We will convene once more for another meeting in the morning before we head top side tomorrow. As for now think it over get cleaned up in your best dress blues available full parade, dismissed." Watching as they head back to their respective rooms I sit there in thought about my granddaughter and family hoping they made it alright.

A/N: this one kicked my ass hope you enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for reading. again let me know of any mistakes I will go over them once or twice a week and update the writing. Have a good day

AA/N: Hope you have a good day just doing the spell checking