Irrational treasure

Chapter 6:irrational treasure

"hey dipper check it out,nacho earrings. i'm hilarious" mabel giggled,stan rolled his eyes and honked

the twins and waddles were in stan's car as they roamed to somewhere they weren't quite sure of where they were going but after what just happened a few days ago,they just went along to distract themselves

"that's debatable,what's up with this traffic,and why is it... all covered wagons? oh no! no!"stan started to panic and pushed the gas pedal,going past the wagons almost running over a group of women dressed in old timey clothes. stan immediately stops and starts driving in reverse

"uh,is everything okay grunkle stan? you seem skethcier than usual"dipper asked,but his question fell on deaf ears

"we have to get out of here. before it's too late"he said before realising there were wagons all around his car,he grabbed the sides of his head

"oh no,they circled the wagons! we're trapped"he screamed. mabel looked outside the car seeing a cow

"i'm feeling good about today"she said.

deciding to investigate what was going on to let stan so concerned and riled up,him following suit shortly after

"wow,look at the town,is like we went back in time"said mabel holding a panflet of the town,lowering it to show two people carrying a dirty glass. stan frowned and pinched his nose

"ah,boy. it's pioneer day. every year these yahoos dress like idiots to celebrate the day gravity falls was founded"he said as short ugly man came welcoming them to 1863,but he was quickly shushed away by stan growling at him

the twins look in relative awe as many of the citizens are doing old timey things,mabel points to a woman dipping wax

"wow,candle dipping"she said,waddles oinking by her side

dipper spots old man mcgucket gold panning

"whoa gold panning" he said. off in the distance they could hear a man getting married to a woodpecker which they shrugged off as the usual town weirdness. they then heard speakers and a announcer voice

"come one come all for the opening ceremonies"

dipper and mabel started to follow the voice when they realised stan was standing still with his arms crossed

"you not coming?"dipper asked,stan shook his head

"no way,just know if you come talking like these people you are dead to me"he said walking away,the twins shrugged and continued on

SCENECUT

around a large stage,a sizeable crowd was forming,on top of the stage were two policeman. one was a big burly dark skinned man with a large mustache and the other was a skinny odd looking man

"here-ye,here-ye! ye olde commencement ceremony is about to start" the dark skinned man said,his partner ringing a bell enthusiastically

in the middle of the crowd a burglar grabbed someone's purse and ran away

"my purse! cops,help me"she screamed,the cops then rushed off the stage to rretrieve the stolen goods

after they left a girl around the twin's age walked to the mic,she had blonde hair and black eyes. she was wearing a purple dress with a brown belt,brown leather pants and matching boots,on her head a tiara

"howdy everyone,you all know me pacifica northwest,great great granddaughter of the town founder,nathaniel northwest. i am also very rich"she said with a smug look as the crowd cheered

"now if you got the pioneer spirit,we ask you to stand up and present youselfs"she said

"ooh,audience participation"she said standing up and walking to the front of the crowd

once she got to the front she jumped in joy shouting

"yeah,let's get this pioneer day started! right guys? USA USA USA"she started to chant,everyone doing the same with even some patriots crying

upon seeing the scene pacifica rolled her eyes and scoffed,she then pointed at mabel

"i'm sorry to break it to you,but pioneer day is for serious people,and you look and act ridiculous"she then looked at mabel's sweater

"i mean,a puppy playing basketball,are you always this silly?"she asked mockingly,mabel looked at her with a angry face

"i can be serious"she said remembering the fight with grenda and candy

"you are wearing nacho earrings hon"pacifica pointed making mabel cover her ears and blush

"wow,i am embarassed for you,give her a hand everyone"pacifica encouraged as everyone started clapping,mabel covered her face and ran away

dipper glared at the blonde before leaving to find his sister,leaving the crowd he found her sitting curled up in a bench with her sweater covering her face. he approached and put his arms over her shoulder,she looked at him

"dipper,do you think i'm silly"she asked her brother who gave a skeptical look

"uhmmmm,sometime?"he said,she buried her face deeper in the sweater with waddles leaning on her

"but don't let that upset you,when you saved me and the battle against pyrrah,you are as serious as yuo could be and you did great"he smiled at her

"she isn't the nices tperson now is she?" the twins turned to see gideon approaching with a piece of pie

"we noticed,want something gideon" mabel asked,gideon sighed putting the pie down in a nearby bench

"look,i know you still feel skeptical about my actions and i figured my intervention against pyronica wasn't the most heartwarming. but after reflecting a bit i realised avoiding you two won't solve the problem so i decided to cut the problems in it's roots instead of burrying it deeper"he explained, putting his arm out

"so please,let us start over so you can know me,the real me. greetings im gideon"he smiled,the twins looked at each other and back at the white haired boy and shook his hand

"nice to meet you gideon"mabel smiled with dipper following along

"pacifica really ain't the sweatheart the city believes her to be"gideon said

"i just don't see why she think she is better because of her heritage,wait,i think i saw something about that in my journal about him" dipper said taking out his journal,gideon leaned in to take a look

"wow,a book all about supernatural things in gravity falls? that's amazing"gideon said in awe

"hehe,is a long story,anyways i found it."dipper said reading the text out loud

"in my investigations i recently made a discovery. nathaniel northwest may not be the true founder of gravity falls! i believe this secret is emburied somewhere on the enclosed document. if only i could crack the code" after reading dipper picked a weird document with various symbols and giberish

"wow,if this is true that means the entire northwest family will be a could be a major conspiracy"gideon said

"really?"mabel asked

"we have to investigate this!"he said,mabel stood up in a hurry

"wait,i'm definetly coming. conspiracies are serious right? if i solve one people will have to take me seriously" she argued tsking of her sweater and tiyng it around her waist leaving her white shirt

"no way i'll let this opportunity go,i'm in"gideon said

"yeah! mystery trio?"mabel said putting her hand out

'oink' waddles agreed

"sure"gideon said putting his hand on top of hers,dipper soon following suit

"mystery trio" they all said in union before leaving

from behind a nearby tree,the dark skinned cop was hearing the conversation,taking his walkie talkie

"this is sheriff blubs,we have a code sepia!"he said,hearing the dispatcher spit his coffee

"what?! and what are you doing about it?"the dispatcher asked

"i'm following them right now"blubs said

"find them and stop them,there is no room for error"the dispatcher said,blubs nodded and turned to his partner

"deputy durland,maintining this cover-up is the mission we have been training for our entire carreers!"he said durland ringing his bell before they turned to where the kids went

SCENECUT

the twins,waddles and gideon went to the library to look for more evidence to solve the code

"alright fosued,stay focused"said mabel hopping around the place

"what are we looking for exactly"gideon asked looking around some books,he picked a book and noticed something weird

"hmm,a book made of gold, maybe a decoration" he shrugged

dipper placed some slides on the projector trying to figure what in what language the writings were

"let's see,it's not egyptian and it isn't numerology either"gideon mumbled,dipper pointed at a specific symbol

"isn't that the alchemist symbol for flame? maybe if we burn it the answer will reveal itself"dipper said grabbing a candle

"you sure,shouldn't we search a bit more,what if you're wrong?" gideon asked,dipper scoffed

"trust me on this one,i know quite a bit about papers"he said,looking to see mabel wearing a hat she made out of the paper,she then realized what she had done

"i just made something silly again!"she blew a raspberry,gideon then grabbed the hat and analyzed it

"no,you made a map"he said,making mabel look up surpised,gideon then looked at the candle in dipper's hand

"and i wanted to burn it... i see the flaw now"he said putting the candle away.

suddenly the two cops bust through and head to the cashier

"we are looking for a few kids who may be acting suspicious,it's confidential work"he said as the cashier talked to him durland walked around

the trio hid under a table

"isn't very safe here,we should take this elsewhere"mabel said,gideon took a look at the map

"it leads to the museum,let's go pines"gideon said,the trio ran off undetected,the camera pans out to reveal a figure watching them from afar before walking away.

SCENECUT

the trio found themselves inside the museum looking at various exhibits,looking for anything suspicious

"doesn't the map have any more clues,like a riddle or a code?"asked gideon ,dipper shook his head

"no,we searched it all,we have to rely on our wittz on this one,man"he said

mabel stared at a rather abstract painting

"art is weird"she said sitting on a bench while looking at the painting

"huh,the date is upside down,who does such a silly mistake"she heard some of the visitors say outloud

"someone not serious,like me,this running tired me out" she said laying on the bench upside down,she gazed at the painting for a few seconds before she realized something

"that's it!"she said out loud getting the boys attention

"what?"dipper said doing the same seeing the abstract painting being actually the painting of s statue of a woman with wings pointing somewhere

"i think i've seen that statue on the cemetery once,come on"gideon said the twins following suit,accidentaly going past the cops searching for them

"hey,it's them,get them!"blubs said but when he pushed the door it didn't open making them get trapped

"what? who put string here?"durland said getting entangled

"nice thinking" gideon complimented mabel as they ran

once getting to the cemetery they immediately found the statue as it stuck out like a sore thumb,they stared at it for a few seconds

"maybe it's pointing somehwere?"dipper said,gideon stared at it

"hey guys look,it's picking my nose" mabel giggled with the statue's finger on her nose, she leaned foward making the figer bend upwards

"whoah,look" the statue moved revealing a staircase that lead down

"looks like being silly isn't that bad after all"gideon sent a thumbs up before going down the staircase

"ha,watch me pacifica"mabel said following the two boys

"we need to be careful,there may be traps around here"dipper said,suddenly gideon tackled both twins

"watchout!"he shouted as various arrows passed above them hitting the wall

"wow,thanks gideon but how did you know?"asked dipper surprised

"sharp wits,and a bit of help"gideon stood up revealing a star shaped monocle on his right eye

"this is part of my stand,it lets me see glimpses of the future"gideon said leading the way

with gideon knowing what would happen,it made dodging the traps way easier

"i can see a door,we are almost there" dipper shouted

"wahh"mabel ended up tripping,unfortunaly falling on top of a switch

"oh no"she looked up to see part of the wall coming down on her

"mabel!"dipper shouted

"duck"gideon shouted grabbing four intricate looking card and threw them foward,2 in each side of the wall. from each card came various light blue chains entangling in each other,making a net to ctahct the trap

"it won't hold long,move !"gideon said starting to sweat

mabel rolled out of the way just in time,as the chains broke and the wall crushed the spot where she was

"you okay mabel?"dipper asked,she breathed hard

"yeah,yeah i'm good,just you know,life flashing before my eyes and all that stuff"she said in a deadpan tone making gideon laugh a bit

"that was close,whew. come on,we are almost there"dipper said standing up and walking away,suddenly hitting a solid surface

"oww,what the?"before him was a large wall of sorts completely made of gold

"weird,my map doesn't say there is a door here"he said looking at his stand

"maybe a trap we triggered by accident"mabel suggested

"is there another way around?"gideon asked dipper,who shook his head

"no,we will have to break through,watchout though"he warned turning to mabel

she smirked and cracked her knuckles

"relax and leave it to me,go [KGB] show what we can do" she posed sending her stand to punch the wall

'ADO'

The wall became golden string

"good job,now is just pull the right one and find the treasure and rub in pacifica's face she is a fraud"dipper said, the trio heard footsteps behind them

"i can't allow you to do that"turning around they saw a woman,but she was unnatural

she was taller than any average woman,and her skin was solid gold. she was dressed like a 18 hundreds servant with a long yellow antique dress leaving her shoulder uncovered,her hair was in a bun and her eyes were covered by a gold cloth.

"who are you?,some kind of acient spirit?"asked dipper,she laughed

"aren't you naive. i was never given a real name but i decided to go by [glitter and gold], pacifica northwest's stand and eternal servant"she said bowing to the trio

"pacifica's stand?"mabel said slowly

"yes silly girl,and i must stop you here"she said menacingly taking a step foward,the ground beneath her heel turning into solid gold

"okay,we have no time for this" gideon said cutting the string door with one of his cards and turning to the woman

"you two go,i'll take care of ms golden sunshine"he said grabbing various cards and going into a battle stance

"gideon"mabel started

"GO" he shouted charging in as dipper grabbed her arm and ran in deeper

after a few minutes of sprinting the twins entered a somekind of makeshift archives room

"it's like a treasure trove of ancient historical information"mabel said looking at a picture of abraham lincoln without his hat showing a hand sprouting from his head and a photo of benjamin franklin with earrings revealing he was a woman

"wow,benjamin franklin is awoman!"mabel said

"jackpot,i found it!"dipper called holding a file named 'northwest cover-up' and started to read it

"let it be recorded that nathaniel northwest,fabled founder of gravity falls,was in fact a fraud... as well as a waste shovelling village idiot?. oh man wait until the papers hear about this" the twins laughed at the revelation

"once people see i uncovered a secret conspiracy they will take me seriously"mabel said pumping her fist in the air

"it also says here the real founder was sir lord,quentin trembley III"dipper read out loud,mabel turned her head

"who?"she asked

"none of your business" the twins looked up to see the two cops show up,they paled slightly as it meant gideon had possibly lost

"you're under arrest! WOO hoo"dudland suddenly fell on the ground with various darts on his back

"he got hit quite a few times,but nevermind that. quentin trembley is a matter of national security"blubs said

"what do you mean "national security""dipper asked

"who is this guy anyway"asked mabel

"see for yourself" blubs said taking a film reel from his hat and putting it on a projector that was around

(the president film is the same)

"the whereabouts of president trembley were unknown"the official on the film said before it ended,blubs then turned to the twins

"until now"he said taking off the cloth revealing the president encased in a orange block

"woah,what is it? ember or something" blubs laughed

"the fool thought he could live forever by encasing himself in a block of solid peanut brittle, smooth move mr president! finding his body was our special mission"he said

"and to think all we needed was follow a pig's muddy footsteps"he said pointing to footprints waddles made,he looked down in shame

"now that you know the truth,we can't let you go around telling everyone"blubs said,the twins got in a battle stance

"and what? does that mean you will try to kill us" dipper asked,the cops suddenly backed off

"what? no,we are just gonna escort you and the body to washingtown"he said shooting the twins with tranquilizer darts,they fell on the ground

"you are not coming back by the way"was all they heard before everything went black

SCENECUT

"uhh,w-what happened"mabel slowly woke up

"what?" she was trapped in a large wooden box next to dipper,waddles and the president's body

"dammit they got usd,wake up dipper!"she said slapping his face a few times

"uh,i'm awake 'im awake!"dipper stood up in a flash

"we are in a box?" he asked semi retorically,they then remembered what blubs said before they were knocked out

"we are going to washingtown! we have to get out of here"mabel said holding waddles,dipper breathed

"okay okay,let's see"he summoned his stand in map form

"we are in the cargo wagon of a transport train 1 day away from washingtown"

"can your map zoom out,there must be somehwere we can jump off safely"mabel asked ,dipper did as she suggested

"hmm,there will be a hay cargo in a few minutes we can jump off there"dipper said returning his stand to humanoid form

"alright,so help me break this crate then mabel"he said preparing [maps and legends] for a stand rush

"mabel?"he turned as she didn't respond

"i just wanna say i'm sorry,if i wasn't so silly about this situation i would'nt have forgotten to clean waddles feet"she said grabbing a piece of peanut brittle.

that action caused the block encasing the president to break,freeing him.

"it is i. quentin trembley" he said ripping his pants

"you're alive,how?"dipper asked trying to understand,mabel gasped

"peanut brittle really does have life-sustaining properties,you aren't silly,you're a genius!" she said,the man laughed

"and so are you dear girl,for following my clues and freeing me from my delicious tomb"he said,dipper stepped up

"he's right! making maps into hats,hanging upside down. your silliness solved the codes serious cops couldn't solve for years"he said

"your right,now let's get him out of here"mabel put her sweater back on,dipper nodded

"ready?"

"GO" both said giving the crate a powerful punch with their stands

'EREKA'

'ADO'

the create was reduced to splinters,the president looked auite surprised

"i am impressed,you broke the crate through you stern stares and powerful posing! splendid"he said walking foward

"alright,let's get out of here"dipper said opening the door train,going face to face with durland grabbing a ice bucket. upon seeing the three he dropped the bucket

"blubs!"he shouted before dipper pushed him making him fall on the ground

the trio climbed a ladder going to the top of the train. quentin fell on his knees trying not to slip and fall off

"hmm,tell me youngsters since when are locomotives made of pure gold?"he asked

"what?" the twins saw the entire train until where they were standing was coated in gold,a realization suddenly came to them

"wait,don't touch it"dipper yelled but it was too late,as soon as quentin's hand touched the solid surface,he was encovered in gold and started to sink within the train

"what is this? pull me out of this gelatinous substance that resemble gold"he shouted before sinking he sinked completely

"quentin"mabel shouted

"you kids gave me quite a lot of trouble" the twins looked to see [glitter and gold] standing in front of them with both hands together

"you again?!" mabel shouted

"what did you do with quentin and gideon?"dipper asked

"the foolish president is stored inside like train like everyone else inside,as for the fat kid,he never made it out of the cave" she chuckled

the scene cuts back to the cave,showing gideon covered in gold with a expression of struggle and surprise before returning to the train

"why are you doing this pacifica? you can't be far if your stand is here,answer me!"mabel shouted with waddles hiding behind her

"you truly are silly,i am doing all this on my own accord with my own free will,my mistress is still happily enjoying pioneer day. she doesn't even know i am here" [glitter and gold]said surprising the twins

"a sentient stand?"dipper gasped before recomposing himself

"if pacifica didn't send you then why do this"he shouted,the stand put her hand across her chest

"my main purpose is to do whatever my mistress requirers of me,and to ensure her happines at all costs,and if you two lowlifes show her her enntire life was a fraud,s she won't be happy any longer"she said llike it was common sense

mabel stepped up

"and is hurting innocent people okay just to make a spoiled girl happy"she asked shocked

"humph,what are low lifes when compared to a goddess like my mistress. now make me a favor and be nice decorations"[glitter and gold] raised her arms,from around her some golden tendrils rised from the train and formed archer bows. she aimed at the twins and fired at them faster than mabel could react,but luckily dipper stand's speed also gave him reaction speed

"[maps and legends] defend us"he said

'kakakakakakakaka'

the slim stand swiftly knocked the arrows heading to mabel and him out of the way,until a arrow hit his arm

"argg"he hissed in pain as blood gushed out of his arm

"your little servant is pretty quick,but you understimate my abilities" [glitter and gold] mocked readying another wave of arrows

"hmm,even her stand is as spoiled and high strung as she is"mabel mumbled

in one motion she pulled the arrow from her brother's arm making him scream in pain

[KGB] hit the train and pulled the strings,placingthe arrow in it making a makeshift catapult and fired the arrow back taking [glitter and gold] by surprise

'clang' the arrow struck the stand's chest making it stumble back and kneel on the ground

the stand brought it's hand to its chest watching as the pieces around the arrow fell off her body like a reality check

"you seem shocked... it seems you never got denied or felt pain before"dipper mocked

when [glitter and gold] removed the arrow,the golden "skin" around the arrow was gone,leaving a black hole,like it was hollow

she looked up and aimed more arrows

"you dare to touch me-'POW' " her speech was interrupted when a colorful fist slammed on her face

'ADO-RA-BLE'

[KGB] shouted thrusting foward sinking her fist deeper in the golden face and sending [glitter and gold] skidding back

she slowly looked at her reflection through the golden surface of the train,suddenly her "perfect golden face" cracked,she immediately recoiled and sent a angered screech

"LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID,LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID. YOU RUINED MY FACE,YOU WILL PAY FOR THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT"she slammed her hands on the train,from many places around the train various HUGE golden dragon like snakes formed and charged to rip the twins apart

'golden hydra' the stand announced

the twins readied themselves to at least try to fend the large snakes.

but,as the hydra was about to eat them the,impact never came. they looked to see they were surrounded by mud?

"what ?"dipper touched the mud dome and felt it liquid

"how is it solid but liquid at the same time?"they heard [glitter and gold] say outloud

suddenly the mud dome turned into a large scythe and chopped the hydras head

waddles jumped in front of the twins,the mud swirling around him like it gravitated around him,the pig then crouched slightly. the mud then mixed again,this time forming a large metallic boar

"what? the filthy swine has a servant too?"[glitter and gold] screamed sending another wave of arrows towards them

waddles squealed,the boar in front of him charged foward turning the arrows to splinters and rammed into the golden stand like a locomotive and threw her off the train and into the river below them

as [glitter and gold] fell towards the lake,half of her body broke,showing there was nothing inside

"nothing more than a golden soulless husk,just like the owner" these words echoed in her head as she sinked on the lake

back on the train dipper and mabel looked at the lake,soon the train started to return to normal

"it's over"dipper sighed in relief

"yeah,and waddles have a STAND! and a cool one at that"mabel said cuddling the pig who squealed happily

the large boar roared in triumph as dipper touched it,on his arm appeared some info

"hmm,it says the stand is named "big muddy",looks like he isn't just a pig after all" dipper said cuddling the pig.

"and he had good taste in names too"mabel said

SCENECUT

dipper and mabel were standing outside the train as blubs and durland wave off in hawaii shirts. they then turned to quentin

"what happened?"he asked

"well,as i was cleaning myself from that weird gold goo,i found a paper reminding me i never really resigned so i gave the gentlemen some vacation for their hard work"quentin said.

he then kneeled close to mabel

"you have done a great service for your country mabel,remember silly isn't always bad"he said before leaving in a horse

"there he goes,probably fall from a cliff or something"dipper chuckled

"now we show this file and reveal the fraud pacifica is"dipper said searching for the document

"what,i could swear it was here. this i lose it?!" he panicked a bit and slouched down

"man all that for nothing"he sighed

"it's fine brother,at least we know. for me that is enough,let's go see what stan is up to"she said walking away

dipper smiled "that's a silly thought,but your totally right"he ran after her

SCENECUT

it was evening,and pacifica was reading some books on her room. she then heard a knock on the door

"enter" she said outloud,with a creak the door opened as [glitter and gold] walked in with a bottle of water,pacifica snapped the book closed and stood up

"i thought you might be thisty before bed" the golden woman said

"servant,where were you? i have been calling you all day!"she demanded

"forgive me my mistress. i have been quite... busy today" she said

"alright,just respond next time! hey,did something happen to you,your face seems hurt" she said,the stand laughed

"i just fell,nothing you should worry about" [glitter and gold] said turning away

"alright,just take care next time, even if i am the only one who can see you i still want you looking perfect"pacifica said before closing the door

"perfect..." [glitter and gold] whispered with one hand on her face and with the other arm across her chest while she held the 'northwest scandal' file as her face and chest cracked

END

here it is, i hope this chapter makes up for the more filler episode of last time

next episode will show what happened to soos and candy

and waddles have a stand! yes! i want to thank the reader 'hello world' for suggesting that stand which is pretty good

i was gonna give waddles a stand but it would be more for comic relief,but the usefull stand really caught my attention. also stop asking for colony stands!

STAND GLOSSARY

Stand name-glitter and gold

user-pacifica

ability-create and manipulate gold

STATS

power-D

speed-D

durability-D

range-infinite

precision-B

development-E

/

Stand name-big muddy

user-waddles

ability-manipulate mud

STATS

power-B

speed-B

durability-A

range-C(5 meters)

precision-C

development-C