Chapter 19 One last time.

The following morning the body of the priest was found and the military did not take long to find the culprit, the clothes full of blood with the murder weapon were found in his room; They found him quickly because someone remembered seeing the boy who accompanied the priest wearing the same clothes as the boy who was now being carried by the military.

That was not too strange, I stole that boy's clothes, he was the same boy who told me about the priest; I knew that the fool had told more people about what happened between him and the priest and that is why they would suspect him first.

It seems like I was right, I thought as guilt gnawed at me inside; but seeing Claire improve after consuming what I got yesterday, the guilt was replaced by a strong will to protect her.

Days later I heard that the boy was executed in front of the crowd to dissuade the rest of the people to behave.

"I didn't even know his name."

As that thought ran through my head, I kept telling Claire stories of all the things we would do when the chaos out there was over. I didn't know if that day would come but it was a way of giving hope to the girl who lost everything.

Weeks passed but things did not improve, the ugly face of humanity began to show after a couple of months of confinement. The corpses appeared from time to time, some of the people who kindly donated their food or medicine to me; Although it never got easier, I consoled myself with the pretext that everyone deserved it because they were similar to the priest. But that couldn't go on forever, sooner or later they could catch me and Claire would be left unprotected if I was executed.

But I ended up learning a sad but useful truth. . . the reason food was scarce was not that it had run out, but because the people who made the decisions at the base were stealing it. At first, I didn't think too much about it until one day we were told that soon the water supply would become intermittent so we would all be given a chance to take a bath.

During this time the baths had become a weekly event, to avoid leaving Claire alone I dressed her as a man and convinced the guards to let me bathe with my little brother in the same cubicle; Claire was uncomfortable at first, but I convinced her it was necessary.

After the new round of showers a slightly attractive woman in her 40s approached us, she seems to evaluate my body for a moment and after nodding, she presented her intentions.

´´ Are you interested in earning some food? ´´.

Her words immediately captured my attention, I looked at her calmly as I nodded in her direction, I could catch the hint of lust behind her kind smile. It was something I saw many times in the past in the men I killed to survive in this bunker.

Seeing my interest the smile on her face grows a few inches, she approached to give me a card with her room number and an hour; as she did so she leaned in to whisper something in my ear.

´´ You and I are going to have a lot of fun´´.

After extending the tip of her tongue and licking my ear, she quietly withdrew and followed her path without seeing us again. Trying to ignore the tingling that she felt in my heart and the warmth that her flirtatious movement provoked in my body, I accompanied Claire until we reached our room; she tried to ask me what that lady wanted just now.

"She offered to give me some food if I played with her."

I said distractedly, I couldn't find a way to explain what I had to do, or put it another way. . . I didn't want her to know what I had to do.

´´ That lady is too old to be playing with children´´.

She said she, clearly unaware of the implication of my words.

´´ She Maybe feels lonely, who knows. ´´

Although my lie was very bad, Claire took it as the truth, the hours passed and I went in search of the woman, although for a moment I considered doing the same as on previous occasions; I knew it was a bad idea. The woman was dressed well and the soldiers looked at her with respect; it would probably be a bad idea to try to harm her. Part of me was trying to ignore the fact that I was a little aroused by the thought of having sex with that attractive older woman.

Upon reaching the room I found the door open, upon entering I heard a seductive voice.

´´ you arrive early, that's good, now take off your clothes and do your best; If you please me, I'll treat you well. "

Even though she had heard similar things in the past, it was completely different when the person said it was a sultry older woman who was wearing only a set of sexy black lingerie.

Soon we took action, I was very nervous because it was my first time, just following my instincts throughout the process; I tried my best not to succumb to the enormous pleasure I felt to try to last longer. He knew that women didn't like men who couldn't last long in bed.

When it was all over, the woman lay on the bed panting intermittently as she licked her lips. After a few moments, she started talking, evaluating my performance as it seems.

´´ You lack technique, but you make up for it with the intensity and resistance you have, you also tried hard to satisfy me, which I appreciate as a woman; unfortunately, you let go of everything inside of me which takes points away from you. . . but in general, you earned what I promised you and a little more. "

That night I brought into our room a small backpack full of food and was even able to give Claire something that I thought she would never eat again. As I watched her lick the chocolate that I brought her with an expression of satisfaction, the guilt began to eat me alive, I didn't understand why when I saw her I felt this way; even when I steals or kills I didn't feel so bad. When I remembered how I got that food by having sex that I enjoyed to a great extent, I thought that maybe the fault was because while Claire was alone in the room I was having fun in bed with a woman; But seeing how happy she was at this moment, I ignored any guilt I might feel and I decided to get more things for her.

Once again the months passed, the woman I knew before got tired of me after some time, she said that the sex was incredible but that she wanted someone new; I thought that was probably her fetish.

I was pretty sure of my achievements in the art of sex as I paid great attention to improving it to ensure my survival in this place, I got many compliments and gifts from other wealthy women at the base so I was sure of it.

Today the military went by saying that the chaos had ended that a champion of humanity emerged to save us all, I could not believe it or did not dare to believe it but as we left the bunker and looked into the distance as other shelters were opening I began to believe that it could be true.

Lionel incort was the name on everyone's lips, the name of our champion; I was amazed when I heard the exploits of man and the desire to be like the root fact in my heart.

The city was reclaimed in days, in a couple of weeks, Claire and I were back at our old home. Claire said that she wanted to be alone while she went through her parents' house so I decided to take a look at my house.

Everything felt so strange to me like I didn't belong in this place that I once called home; as I stood in front of a mirror I understood why it was so. The Desmond who used to live in this house was nowhere to be found, there was only this damaged boy, with his hands full of blood, someone who had put aside his dignity to become the toy of others for food; with a tender smile that he used to hide the darkness that grew within him.

Thinking about how I became what now I see in the mirror, hatred began to consume me, I hated the world for forcing me to do this, I hated my parents for abandoning me and I hated Claire who became the reason for my sacrifices.

As dangerous thoughts began to arise in my mind, I heard a small voice full of tenderness, innocence, and love.

´´ Brother Desmond we are at home´´.

I didn´t turn to see the origin of that voice, I kept looking at the mirror, remembering a promise I made to the man I called father.

´´I did what was necessary, are you proud father? ´´.

I supposed that my father would be proud, as I looked at the damaged and corrupted child that had become I thought to myself:

"Then let me do what is necessary one last time."

And I turned around, with a smile as beautiful and bright as the spring sun I answered to my beloved sister. My expression was different from what I always pretended, it was genuine and pure as if all the horrors of the last year had never happened; I did not look like someone broken and tinged with sin.

´´Yes, Claire we are at home´´.

Completely ignorant of the latest atrocity I committed on her behalf, an atrocity directed at none other than myself; Claire expressed her happiness by hugging her dear brother and saying:

´´ Yup, now we can be together forever brother Desmond´´.

I just waved his acknowledgment and returned the hug. I seemed genuinely happy but something deep down felt strange, as if something was missing; as if I had forgotten something.