Chapter 1

My hair was whipping across my face, the wind on top here was so strong its why they forbode anyone coming up to the roof. Me being me knew the roof was the only good place to go, the easiest place to go. I needed to put an end to the pain. I'd tried this only once before but was rushed to hospital and saved. Of course that just made things ten times worse.

It was the newest trend that had pushed me over the edge, quite literally this time, but we're not gonna talk about that. The trend in question? Do everything in your power to make Mabel Groves the most miserable person on the planet. Life already sucked after losing her dad and then having her mum diagnosed with some stupid disease that would be around for the rest of her life. So what to people do, they push her around, saying she'd be better off dead because she could never help her parents.

Well that's me, I'm Mabel Groves, and before you ask, yes my mother did name me after the girl in that dumb show no one watches anymore. I don't know why, like why wouldn't you do that for a set of twins? I didn't have any brother or sisters and the rest of her family was on the other side of the globe.

Mabel, honey you're better than this.

My mother's voice rung in my ears, she scolded me last time but honestly, it was just so she wouldn't cry in front of me and the doctors. I know she wouldn't be able to live without me, but she'll die soon anyways so it's not like she's suffering for another 40 years or something. I however will suffer for another 70 years because I'm younger and I'm losing both my parents and there's no one who's even shown pity.

Most people said after you die, you go to a place of peace, a place where you can see your family again. I was ready to see my dad and welcome mum with open arms and we can be a happy family again instead of what we are now. My mother is sick and dying, I get harassed at school and get booted from every job I try. Who wouldn't want to die and move on to the peace that is the afterlife or heaven or whatever people call it?

"It's now or never Mabel,"

A force kept pulling me back, a nagging force trying to tell me things would get better, but my head said otherwise. The logic was simple, when my mum passed away the pestering would increase, the constant 'You weren't good enough to help either of your parents' and 'Why don't you go see them again, I mean after all it was your fault."

To me, hearing the truth is what hurts me the most, and the fact that basically my entire school knows it never helps.

Sometime my teachers don't harass me for assignments like they do other kids but that's just one of the many things they bully me. It might be nice if I had some real friends, but of course, with my state no one wants be friends with a girl like me. I mean I do have a group, so I don't look like a total loner but we're just a band of losers who stick together, we hardly talk.

I mean, if you called them friends no one would deny it, it was mostly just to get others off our backs and because the queen bee would always be able to pick on you if you were alone and well none of us want that

I glance across New York City one last time. I would enjoy the view more if it weren't going to be the last thing I saw but nothing is perfect. Maybe one day I'll be back here, maybe in a lifetime where maybe just maybe my life means more to me. As I turn around, I can hear the familiar music in my head as I stick my arms our to the sides, signal with my right hand and fall backwards.

~~~

Those were the last words spoken my Mabel Liv Groves. She was a loving daughter and intelligent student. It saddens us all that this is her end, but we will all treasure her memory in our hearts. Her friends and teachers knew not of her suffering and proclaimed if they had known, they would've gotten her the help that she desperately needed.

Jamie, David, Eloise and Jackson stood in the back corner of the hall during her memorial service, they obviously knew she had issues but never offered to help because they were absorbed within themselves. They were her group, the only people she actually hung out with, not like all these girls claiming to know her and crying over her. Death may do her some good, finally give her the peace they all deserved.

"Can we make a no suicide pact so that we spare the ridiculous parades, or we all go at once?" Jackson of course had to make a joke, that was his coping mechanism.

"Fine, but I want to get through this year with people so let's just not." Jamie, the newest member of their crew, really sucks at being alone so he's here.

"I wouldn't mind us all doing it, just to make the school look awful." Eloise, the 'founder' of sorts, she kind of got us together and said, 'Can we not all look like total losers kay?'

"That's a good point but they'd primp it all up like this one." David, he'd been alone for like his entire high school journey, finally worked up the ladder with this group.

They all knew about each other's problems but seeing as they all struggled none of them knew how to help. None of them were able to admit it either because it would mean confessing about like four people, who were probably the most messed kids up in this school. Obviously, they were never chosen for school rep, or never passed on team testing because their school only favored the best of the best.

The principal made up a whole speech about how if you need help, talk to a close friend and maybe they can get you they help you need. About how much the school will miss her and will treasure her memory for many years to come despite no-one knowing her as a real person.

It wasn't a problem because everyone knew her name, her crew knew the whole story with her dad and most people in the school believed the rumors Jocelyn spread around. Little miss perfect had told the entire school the accident was her fault and that she deserves all the suffering she gets.

"Mabel was a dear friend to me, and I wish I could've seen the signs before it was too late, I can't imagine how rough things were for her, especially after the accident with her dad and the recent news about her mum being ill. All my love goes to Mrs Groves and the rest of their extended family in respect of my dear friend. After this I never want to see another like this, so I plan to start a school mental health group, to raise awareness for those who need help, before it's too late." Jocelyn cried as she spoke.

Condolences had gone out to Gabriella, her mum, who'd lost her husband and only child and was now terminally ill herself. Perhaps it's a cursed family, perhaps it's just life needing to balance good and bad. Like how the theory states if a family has a really good life, then there's a family on the other end who will have a really bad life. It's just the way the world works, balance is the key to keeping life the way it is.

~~~

I barely registered the fall and the pain that erupted from my body upon impact. At least it only lasted like a tiny bit before I died I guess. At first it was all dark and cold, the space physically felt lonely. White bubbles appeared and seemed to carry something inside, I could never get a close enough look but one eventually left my hands and floated off with the rest. I spose they had to get rid of my old body and stuff before I could properly move on.

It was just blackness

…dark

…cold

…and lonely.