Jimmy

Was it you? From the last day, from the parking lot in Royal Exchange.



Still searching you wit a broken mind. I know it was taugh to persuade Andrew and Stuart that I may not have some specialities for you. Searched the place around two times, and I still remember each face in the head. Draw all the patterns down. Said, it was a puzzle which I've to solve. It's okay that you were giving clues for your appearances. But each time I've failed, I'm still trying. I still need the things I wanted after getting those. I can assume you were in the car. The window was black outside, I couldn't see. On the same day, I could revise the template, not the Face. They were telling me, forcing me to think yeah it was Olie cause I saw him on the last day of Ashes but I've talked with him. Ocean reminds between that each waves were our ups and down in each life's. I didn't mean what I got. But it wasn't him.



Wrote about Root, wrote about Olie, wrote about Andrew- those three's were with me. Root and Andrew became closer, obviously. I know you have much problem with Stuart. Wrote about him a bit also. I know you're not allowing anyone with me for unravelling knots. But I'm writing here, telling it- The truth will always be discovered. Always!



Not scaring you, I can not create a path to ensure the lenity of kindness becomes compassion of life where truth is silence, lie is hidden. Maybe I was the river for you where you made the bridge, I told you to cross, you crossed,

you didn't swim. I told you to keep faith and repeat. Wasn't a joke, a cure that Heals from damage. I have reliance for solite virtues that lead me to my entire pledge, some says it was for you, I would say it is for a 'Change.'



Wrote me several times, you want me to be changed at any cost. I didn't agree with your demand, I agreed with the stroll, with the perturbation.



Philophobia- the fever is eating me. The only way I created for myself is the way to reveal all the damages as insane. Once I was Paralysed, my body turned to cold, the day was rainy, wetting me down. I felt Cold. The day I found your first letter, where you gave me hope. The shortage from you leads the way for me. Spirituality was another issue where I was finding answers, still continuing. You aren't controlling me, for just a few words, it seems like I've started realising me. People say words behind, when they come forward, it'd become a battle, when they keep silent, it'd become Depression. This is world, where everyone is creating their own one. You let me create mine, can I deny? I couldn't.



Saved the date, the words, you said last words, first letters, haven't caught you still. Saved the number, the address where you never came, all the letters one by one, and- and every lines, every hopes, every dots, where I couldn't say a thing- Saved each. I don't know why, just did.



My perceptions become my Reality. Though it's so tough to realise it to people, I'm not either presenting it in front of anyone. I had a clue, a sequel. Maybe days later, they would say it'd be a nasty garbage of putting shits but inside, I'm feeling the healing, not the damage they thought since I wondered how grateful Life become. Assuring you, I'm changing and I'm loving it. I was told to name it- let me name it- It is HEAL, it is POWER, it is MYSELF. I want to slap you, isn't going to show my anger out, I want to see you just a blink. I'm still trying to fund you. Through my imaginations and solutions, I will find you. I promise to myself. You said you love me, I believe you're giving me more and more clues.

I'm gonna find you out.

Maybe after decades but for sure.

_________________________________

Again send me letters. Root confirmed the number of your letters. I don't have a problem that you're sending me letters more often. I have problem I even don't even know who's sending me those.



The flowers were good. Andrew thought you're giving the blame to him. But no, he was okay with that. I didn't catch up with the candle fall on the mattress. I must have guessed why you got a problem with Root. Yeah, surely he is a little much. It's never been an issue for me to share my everything with him. He is the closest friend of mine. Sometimes, I even cannot catch his lines, his attempts, and his attitude. A confusing kid! Bit I can surely say, What Root doubts about, wasn't a thing for caring even. I changed my mattress, and I wasn't his business to check out. I wonder how he was supposed to be when he saw us. Maybe you know these.