1 Reencarnação

What is happening?

I feel so strange, I can't think and hear clearly where am I?

I feel like I'm stuck, I don't understand what this is.

I feel like I've been like this for a long time, I can't be sure, I feel so listless like nothing in the world cares

I try to figure out what's going on but I can't think of the same thing for very long I feel my mind slipping

After a long time trying to concentrate I managed to come to some conclusions.

First I'm in a coma and I'm trapped inside my own conscience and I can't give commands to my body.

Second I'm in hell or limbo with just my conscience wandering.

Third, as I have fantasized many times in my mind before, I am in some process of reincarnation.

I hope it's the last one!

I try to concentrate and remember my life, after a long time trying to remember I came to the conclusion that I don't miss anything.

I always had a family by my side we were common like everyone else my parents divorced when I was only 5 years old and left me with my grandparents.

I never cared much about that, I always thought that things are the way they are and it's no use dwelling on the past or thinking about how things could have been.

I had an older sister who also stayed with me with my grandparents we were never close despite being brothers and having grown up together.

Mainly my fault, I never particularly thought that family was important.

Always everywhere I looked there were people and in my eyes everyone was so equal, everyone behaved the same way men and women.

So I thought what difference does it make if the person has the same blood as mine, all people are ridiculous and insignificant, we are all destined to die!

My grandparents will always treat me well, they always gave me food and clothes, I never lacked for anything basic.

As I grew up I realized how different I was from other kids, I just couldn't connect with them, they all seemed so silly and meaningless to me.

I never had any real friends in my life.

I think it was because I just wasn't interested in anyone and people noticed that.

When I started high school, my sister found a boyfriend and left home, I think she just can't handle the fact that we live with our grandparents and wanted to have a life like everyone else's.

After that I hardly saw her anymore, she SO appeared occasionally when one of my grandparents was sick or when she needed money for something.

I don't think she's bad, she just found a better life and gradually forgot about us.

I don't blame her, all human beings are like that, no feeling lasts forever no matter what!

Over time I started to forget about her to the point of even forgetting her name sometimes.

When she is in the middle of high school, in my adolescence, I felt that there was no point in being there in that boring environment.

And where I had to obey my teachers (I always hated people ordering me around!)

So he decides to drop out of school, my grandparents were completely against it, but I didn't care about their opinion, I said I wouldn't go anymore, no matter what they say.

In time they didn't say anything else either, they knew I wouldn't change my mind.

I never interacted much with my grandparents.

I'm sure they knew I didn't care much for them.

But they will always look out for me, I think they thought I was just shy and anti social and that one day I would burst the bubble and make friends and start dating.

Of course it never happened, as the months went by at home I did nothing but look at my cell phone and kill my boredom.

I was very fond of watching anime and reading manga and continued in the same routine for 2 years or so.

Until one day I found a text on the internet of a person waking up in an anime world.

I had never felt so much interest in anything before.

After that I started a frenzy, I couldn't stop reading Xianxia fanfic, Chinese books all kinds, nothing in the world gave me any kind of satisfaction beyond that.

I read all kinds in all different languages and I could never stop.

Until there came a point where I couldn't satisfy myself anymore, it seemed that I had already read all the fanfic on the internet and started to lose interest in life.

My only desire was to live forever and observe the history of things, I always thought it would be interesting to continue existing and watch the world unfold.

Until one day I went to sleep thinking about how I would like to be one of those mc who reincarnate in a fantasy world.'

And suddenly I woke up in this place feeling like I lost a piece of my brain.

As time went by I was able to think better and focus on things.

I started to think that if I'm really reincarnated, I'll do whatever I want without caring about anything.

And I will destroy anything and everything for my goals.

As time went by in this endless loop of thoughts.

I felt movement around me as if I were in the stomach of some animal and were being spewed out.

Finally able to feel my body, I tried to move, but the walls around me continued to ripple and tighten, causing pain throughout my body.

Suddenly I felt as if I had been kicked out and I felt a pair of hands grab me, I tried to open my eyes and look around but the pain in my body and a feeling of weakness overtook me, and I felt my consciousness shut down.

My last thought was, I really reincarnated, didn't I?