Cabernet's Biggest Fan

"Wow! It really is a winter wonderland over there!" Luffy said, admiring the view of the snow covered mountain on the other side of a boiling and freezing lake. "How are we going to get across this lake, though?"

"An impossible task." Cabernet nodded her head sagely.

"..." Robin stared at the winged woman and her captain, incredulous at their obliviousness.

"We can just fly over-" Zoro suggested before blocking a kick from Sanji.

"How dare you suggest that a lady should carry a mongrel like you! Are you even a man?!" Sanji raged.

"Hm? What's that?" Luffy pointed at the top of a ruined building where something that looked like a large light green bird sat.

The creature spread its wings revealing itself to be some kind of half-bird woman that had a sinister smile on her face. She flapped and began flying away.

"Hey! I have wings too!" Cabernet said, suddenly flying parallel to the bird woman beneath her.

The woman nearly jumped out of her skin in fright, she hadn't even seen Cabernet move! She made panicked evasive movements in an effort to put distance between them. Terrifying her further, however, Cabernet didn't even change her relative position to herself. It was like the both of them weren't moving at all.

"What's your name I'm Cabernet- Woah!" Cabernet said.

She transformed her wings into freezing blades and slashed at Cabernet. They were far away from the others in the group, so the bird woman tried to be a bit heavy handed in her methods of losing Cabernet.

"Cold!" Cabernet exclaimed, blocking the attack with her arms. The feathers left shallow cuts on her skin.

"What?!" The bird woman was shocked. As far as she could tell, Cabernet hadn't even used haki to defend herself, yet her feathers that were sharper than most swords barely did a thing to her.

Cabernet swung her arms to grab at her. The bird woman was too slow, but Cabernet's arms passed through her body as it turned to snow on contact.

"That's cheating!" Cabernet complained.

'I can't run because she's too fast. I can't attack because she's too tough. I can't even drain her strength by lowering her temperature because damned Lunarians are said to be able to live in extreme environments of any kind, and that's assuming she didn't just fry me first!' The bird woman, Monet, found herself in a real pickle.

"Oh my goodness! I'm so sorry about that, you startled me!" Monet said with an apologetic smile.

Cabernet, who was rearing for a fight, stopped. "Huh?"

"This is all just a big misunderstanding. I'm actually your biggest fan! Not too many winged ladies around, I'm glad you're giving us such a good name." Monet praised.

"Really?" Cabernet blushed in embarrassment.

"Of course! Could I get your autograph?" Monet asked.

"Sure, I guess you can…" Cabernet agreed.

"Oh dear, I don't have any paper or anything to write with! Would it be too much to ask you to go get some?" Monet asked shamelessly.

Cabernet thought for a moment before nodding. "Maybe Robin has some…"

Cabernet flew back towards the rest of her group, while at the same time Monet booked it out of there as fast as her wings would carry her.

"Robin! Do you have anything to write with and some paper?" Cabernet landed next to her.

"I do, but why do you need it?" Robin asked curiously.

"The bird lady wants my autograph!" Cabernet said proudly.

"That bird lady?" Robin pointed at the very distant figure of Monet disappearing into the freezing mists surrounding the distant snowy mountain.

"Yup, that's her!" Cabernet smiled innocently, completely unaware that she had been duped.

Robin patted the taller woman's shoulder with sympathy. "You sweet, summer child…"

After explaining what happened, Cabernet was in a terribly grumpy mood.

"Can you get us over the lake, Cabernet?" Luffy asked, not reading her mood at all.

Cabernet directly picked Luffy up and hurled him through the air. Luffy's laughter could be heard on the wind almost the whole way over the lake where he landed in a big snow pile with a big POOF!

Cabernet turned around to see Sanji standing right where Luffy had been just a few moments before, his arms outstretched waiting for his turn.

"Cabernet-chaaaaaaan~" Sanji shouted as he too was sent sailing through the air over the lake.

Zoro thought that it looked like fun, but he didn't much like the idea of accidentally smashing his head into a boulder on landing. "I think I'll swim…"

"The water is boiling, Mr. Swordsman. I'd hate to see you look like a lobster on the other side." Robin said with an amused smile.

Zoro went soaring through the air soon after, holding a stiff posture with crossed arms and had his usual frown on his face. On the inside, he thought it was quite nice though, so long as his head didn't crack open like an egg at the end.

Cabernet didn't throw Robin, electing to carry her properly as she flew over the lake. When they came under fire by two dozen guns and a few bazookas, Cabernet simply turned around and kept her course whilst flying backwards, thus shielding Robin from being targeted.

The group of odd centaurs firing upon them were quickly set upon themselves by an angry rubber man, chef, and swordsman who just so happened to be in need of winter clothes as well. Unfortunately for the centaurs, they were wearing winter clothes and had just fired upon those three men's companions.

"Where did they come from?! I'll take care of them my- OOF!" A massive crocodile centaur with a brown beard said, before he was bashed in the back of the head by a headbutt from a golden-fleeced ram and knocked out cold.

"Baaaah!" Merry gave an adorable war cry.

"Yohohoho! You've become quite fierce, my ovine friend!" Brook laughed and joined the fray.

Seeing their boss get done in by a sheep of all things didn't help the centaurs' morale in the slightest. Those that remained immediately gave up and dropped their weapons, raising their arms high in the air in fear.

Those among the centaurs unlucky enough to wear the same size coats as the Straw Hats were deprived of them and left to fend off the cold with their own skin.

"If you feel cold you can cuddle together for warmth." Cabernet suggested helpfully.

The centaurs could only hold their tongues when they wished to complain. Cabernet had burned through three coats with the flames on her back before giving up.

"Hmmmm…" Luffy hummed in thought. "I want to use this guy as a horse, but Merry knocked him out…"

The centaur he was talking about was the large brown bearded crocodile centaur, named Brownbeard surprisingly. He was actually already awake, but he was pretending in an attempt to escape these whack jobs.

"Perhaps if we set his beard on fire, he'll wake up?" Robin offered darkly.

"I've just woken up!" Brownbeard exclaimed aloud, his terrible acting not fooling anyone except Luffy and Cabernet.

"Shishishi! Perfect timing, you can be our taxi service!" Luffy chuckled.

"It's not a taxi service if we aren't paying him." Zoro remarked.

"Sure it is. We aren't paying because we're pirates, not because he isn't a taxi service." Sanji retorted.

'I'm a pirate too, damn it!' Brownbeard wanted to cry.