Saitama and Harley

Harleen Quinzel sat at the edge of her bed in nothing but a pair of pink undies and a black and red bra, biting her lip as continued sitting there despite having been awake for the last few minutes. Eventually, she coerced herself her feet and walked to the bathroom to wash her face, getting a good look in the mirror at her messy blonde hair and black eyeliner that was partially running down her cheeks before bending over to turn on the tap.

Splashing some cool water on her pale face, the young woman had been confined to the single room apartment that she was squatting in as of late by a crippling depression, which was the result of her losing her boyfriend. Unmotivated to do anything but mope around all day, Harleen aka Harley Quinn, again looked up to the mirror, only to freeze as she spotted a clown-faced individual standing behind her in the reflection.

"Puddin'?!" she exclaimed as she spun around, only to find a bald stranger in a tattered yellow suit with a torn white cape and red gloved hands standing behind her. "Oh wait…you're not my Puddin'. Well then who the hell are ya?!"

Grabbing a gigantic wooden mallet that was leaning against the corner of the bathroom, Harley lifted the large weapon into the air and held it above the mysterious stranger's head, which only caused him to giggle at her reaction.

"Hehehehe no, sorry to disappoint," Saitama replied through a face of freshly-applied clown makeup. "I'm guessing you were looking for the Joker? Yeah sorry about that, he's kind of dead, but I was wondering if you could tell me a little bit about him?"

"Like hell, I recognize ya! You're the bastard who killed him, you're all over the news!" Harley yelled as she swung the mallet and brought it down over the man's bald skull. Stopped millimeters from his head, Saitama had caught the heavy mallet in his hand and effortlessly held it in place.

"HAHAHAHAHA nice weapon, I bet if you hit someone on the head the right way, their brains would squirt out of their ears HAHAHA," the caped figure couldn't help but laugh.

"T-that laugh…" Harley stammered as tears began to well up in her eyes, where she released her mallet and allowed it to drop to the floor. "W-why do you laugh just like him, what's going on?"

"Word on the street is that you were the Joker's girlfriend," Saitama replied with a wide grin. "So I figured that you knew him better than anyone. One of the last things he did was breathe this weird gas in my face, and whatever it was sort of turned me into…hehehehe, whatever this is."

"Oh my gawd, he used that on you?" the unstable woman asked with wide eyes. "He was saving that weapon for Batman, but he used it on you instead?"

To Saitama's shock, Harley suddenly wrapped her arms around him and nuzzled her face against his neck, her large breasts rubbing against his chest as her hold tightened.

"You in there, Puddin'?" She asked through tears, squeezing the bald clown ever tighter. "I know what that gas does. It's supposed to turn someone else into another you. My puddin' is still alive, he's just inside that bald head of yours!"

"HAHAHAHAH well, we'd better get him out of there then, or else he's going to suffocate!" Saitama laughed, tapping his skull with his fist as he gently pushed the scantly-clad woman away. "Say, if you were his girlfriend, why weren't you in Gotham with him? I suppose it was for the better, or you'd be standing with the rest of the city at the pearly gates!"

"He sent me to Metropolis while he used that cube thing from Starlabs to play around in the multiverse," Harley replied with a sigh, shaking her head as she looked at the floor. "I don't know why he did things, I didn't ask questions, but I feel like a part of him knew that this might happen."

Looking around the tiny apartment, Saitama walked to the window to glance outside at the Metropolis slum, his own mind wondering what the clown prince of crime might have been thinking about during his rampage in F-City back at his home reality.

"Well, all I've been doing lately is destroy things and killing heroes for a laugh, but what did the Joker like to do for fun?" he eventually asked the young woman.

"Oh, Mista J ran a criminal empire, we had goons, a cool hideout, and tons of cash!" Harley replied excitedly, before her face fell flat and she blew some hair out of her face with a pout. "Of course, I guess you went and killed everyone along with the rest of Gotham…"

"An empire eh?" Saitama asked again, rubbing his bare chin. "HAHAHAHA yeah, yeah I guess that could be fun! I could start fresh, make a name for myself out here!"

While the one punch man's old personality wouldn't have given the idea a second thought, his new Jokerized personality brought with it a new ego, where the idea of using his power to become recognized didn't sound like the worst thing in the world. On top of that, Saitama knew that continuing his criminal activity might attract new, stronger heroes to fight, where he still thought fondly about his battle with Superman.

"Well, thanks for your input!" he said with a smile at the half-naked girl, pausing as he turned to leave. "Hehehehe say, you seem to know a lot about the business. Did you want to come with me in case I get more Joker questions?"

"Eeeeeekk, yes!!" Harley exclaimed as she tackled the caped man to the ground, staring longingly into his clown make up. "You're still Puddin' in there, so I don't gotta feel guilty about this!"

With that, Saitama was shocked as Harley Quinn abruptly pushed her lips into his, causing the bald clown to gently push her off of him as he rose to his feet.

"HAHAHAHA I don't know if I want to enjoy that, or punch you!" the former-hero laughed as he led the way out of the apartment.

"…Just like Puddin'," the young woman sniffled as she wiped a tear from her eye, where she quickly skipped to her suitcase and threw on her classic, red and black jester costume, before ensuring to grab her mallet as she followed Saitama out of the building.