8. The Frog Fiasco

AN: An original idea. The song parodied here is "It's Quiet Uptown" from Hamilton: An American Musical. Originally written by Lin-Manuel Miranda.

Lexx enters his room and lays down on his bed. He feels a lump on his back when he does so. He jumps off and yanks his blanket off, and finds a frog.

"AHHHHH!" He yells. His twin hurries into the room.

"Lexx! What's- Oh there you are, Hops." Leif walks over and picks up his pet frog. "Little rascal was hiding from me again. Thanks for finding him."

Lexx's right eye twitches. "Leif, lately your dumb frog has been invading my personal space. Two days ago, he was in my bath. Yesterday, he tracked his muddy feet on my homework and pooped in one of my capes. Today, he's in my bed!"

"Hey! Don't call my best friend dumb! Hops don't do all that out of spite. This is his room too and he wants to spend time with his roommate. Ain't that right, buddy?" Hops ribbit and stretch his tongue out on Lexx's cheek.

"Aw, sick! Ew! Ew! Ew!" He runs out of the room screaming about scrubbing his face off.

"What a wimp. You're gonna learn to appreciate Hops one of these days, Lexx!" Leif calls after him. Hops ribbit in agreement.

The Loud siblings were currently having lunch in the living room when their mother walks in.

"Leif, it's the 15th."

He spits out his juice in shock. "The 15th?!"

"What about it?" Loni asks.

"Leif has a doctor's appointment this afternoon." Rita answers.

"Yeah, the only bad part about it is the needles!" Leif shudders and holds his arm.

"Wow, that sucks dude." Lynn comments.

"Wait, while I'm away, who's going to watch Hops?" Said frog pokes his head out of Leif's overall pocket.

"I'm sure one of your siblings will watch over your pet frog, sweetie." Rita says.

"I'll let Hops choose. Hops, who do you want as your pet sitter?" Hops jump out of the pocket and onto the head of Lexx.

"Gross!"

"It's decided! Lexx, you'll watch Hops while I go to the doctor's."

Lexx takes Hops off his head and holds him at arm's length. "I don't wanna!"

"You don't have a choice, bro. Hops chose you so he's your responsibility. Who knows? Maybe your attitude toward him will change during this."

"Yeah, this can easily turn into a Lexx and Hops bonding chapter." Linka says.

"Why did you say "chapter"?" Lexx asks.

"No reason."

"He's fed twice a day. I already fed him today so you can only feed him once. And you already know he tends to wander off." Leif says to Lexx from Vanzilla's window.

"Yeah, yeah. Got it." Lexx says. Still frustrated about his responsibility.

"Thanks, Lexx! I'll see you later. Bye, Hops!" Leif waves from the window as his mother pulls out from the driveway and drives down the street.

Lexx shuts the front door behind him and makes his way up to his room. "I don't know why you chose me when you know I don't like you." He put Hops in his tank. "But since you did, I'm the boss. And what I say goes! And I say, stay in your tank until further notice. Disobey me and there will be severe consequences." Lexx warns the frog and walks out of the room, shutting the door behind him.

That's probably the worst decision he made today because Lexx didn't put the lid on the tank.

It's even worse since there's an open window behind it.

An hour and a half later, Lexx comes back to the room. "Alright frog, I got the core of my apple to give you. I know you prefer flies but-" Lexx gasps at the empty tank with no lid on it.

"Did I forget-?! So he must have-! Crap!" In a panic, Lexx check under his bed and Leif's, search his closet and tear apart his drawers.

"Hops! Come out this instant! This isn't funny! Dang, he could be anywhere!" Lexx peeks his head out into the hallway, when the coast is clear he begins searching Lynn's and Lars's room. He searches their drawers and under their beds. He picked up Lars's vampire bust to look behind it when Lars comes up behind him.

"What are you doing with Edna?"

"Gah! Oh, I was just... admiring her from an angle. She looks great in this light."

"Edna despises the light."

"Riiiight." Lexx backs away slowly then books it to Levi's room. He knocks over some chemicals as he looks around his desk.

"What in the world?!" Levi exclaims when he enters his room.

"Sorry, little bro. I'll clean it up later." Lexx continues on his way, ignoring the explosion at the scene.

In Luke's and Lane's room, Lexx crawls his way in as Luke was practicing his drums and Lane was writing in his joke notebook. As he's on the floor, Luke hits him with his drumstick.

"Ow!"

"Lexx?" Luke looks down at him.

"Hey. Love the drumming, bro."

"Looking for something, Lexx?" Lane asks from his bed.

"No. I mean, yes! You see, I have an audition coming up and- and I need a song. Yep, that's it!" He looks around desperately and spots sheet music. "Ah! It's So Hard to Say Goodbye to Yesterday! This will do! Bye!" Lexx runs out of the room.

"That was weird." Lane says.

"A day in the life." Luke comments.

In Loki's and Loni's room, Lexx finds something green under Loni's bed. "Ah ha!" He pulls it out but it's a green stuffed bear.

"What the-"

Loni looks down at him from his bed. "Oh, I see you found my old stuffed bear from when I was your age, Forest. Get it? Cause he's forest green. I don't need him anymore so you can have him." In his frustration, Lexx screams and rips the bear's head off then he stomps out.

"What was that for?" Loki asks.

"He must prefer emerald or spring green." Loni answers.

Lexx paces the hallway. "Where else could he be? The bathroom!" Lexx kicks the door open; Linka was using it.

"AHHHH!" She shrieks.

Embarrassed, Lexx covers his eyes and reach for the handle. "Sorry, Link! I didn't- I-I- Sorry!" Blindly, he stumbles back into his room. "Hops, where are you?"

Linka slams his door open and behind her are the rest of the Loud brothers. "Alright Lexx, it's bad enough you're snooping around your brothers' rooms. But invading my space, what's wrong with you?!"

"You never appreciated Edna before." Lars says.

"You have destroyed my workstation!" Levi exclaims.

"And screw that audition excuse! What's up?" Luke demands.

"Ok! Ok! Earlier, I went to go feed Hops but he was missing. I've been looking for him!"

"You literally had one job!" Loki shouts. "How could you be so irresponsible? What about Leif?"

"Yeah, if he finds out about this, he'll go hopping mad!" Lane laughs. "Get it? But seriously, you messed up, Lexx."

"Was he in his tank?" Linka asks.

"Yes! But I kinda… forgot to put the lid on." Lexx points to the empty tank.

"Uh, I'm no frog expert, but I don't think that window is supposed to be open." Loni points at the open window.

"Window?" Lexx runs over to it and pokes his head out. Surveying the wide backyard. "Son of a biscuit! You guys have to help me find him!" He begs his siblings.

"Why should we? This is your problem!" Lynn says.

"Hey, if I go down, you're all going down with me! Don't make me mad and just do it!" His siblings flinch at his harsh tone and follow him out. Only because they know what happens when Lexx gets mad.

The Loud siblings call out for the frog; leaving no stone unturned in their search.

"Hops, you under here?" Loni says as he looks under a stone.

Leon makes eye contact with Hops, who's behind a tree. He laughs and makes grabby hands in his direction. "Froggy!"

Linka looks in the same direction as Leon. "Good job, Leo! Come here, Hops!" The frog hops away as Linka walk toward him. "Guys! Don't let him get away!"

The brothers hear their sister's demand and begin their cat and mouse game with Hops. Loni was on his tail but lost his footing and trips. Hops goes between Lane's legs and jumps on and off of Loki's head. Lars and Levi both dive for the frog but they both miss and collide heads with each other. He was fast for a frog.

"I got him!" Lynn screams. He grabs Hops with his bare hands but he slips away from his grip. "Damn, he's a slimy mofo!"

"Technically, it's mucus." Levi corrects him.

Lexx looks at his hands in realization. He couldn't slip away from his grip when he had gloves on. "I got him!" Lexx proceeds to chase Hops around the backyard and into the front yard, his siblings behind him. Hops escapes onto the open road.

But he was unaware of the upcoming truck.

Linka's eyes widen. "Lexx! Watch out!" Linka grabs Lexx from under his arms and lifts him up before he could take a step forward. Lexx now sees the truck.

"Wait! STOP!" The driver, deaf to the little prince's pleas, unknowingly runs over his twin's pet frog.

"OOOOOOH!" Everyone screams and cringe at the scene. Lane covers Leon's eyes. Loki runs toward Hops, pick him up carefully, and runs back to the group. He gently places Hops on the grass. Hops is badly damaged. His once green head is now purple with bruises and red because he's internally bleeding. His body is marked with tire tracks. His leg twitches and that's the last movement he made.

"Le-Levi?" Lexx asks the scientist softly. Levi kneels in front of the frog. He checks for a pulse. Levi looks up and shakes his head.

"This can't get any worse." Lexx grimace. Of course it can, because at that moment, Vanzilla pulls up and parks in the driveway. Leif opens his car door and jumps out.

"Guys? Why are you outside, huddled together? Looking guilty and depressed?"

"Leif… it's Hops." Linka answers.

"Hops?! What happened?!" Leif pushes his way to the front. He gasps and drops to his knees at the sight of his frog. "WHO DID THIS?! LEXX, DID YOU KNOW?!" He demands, tears threatening to fall.

Lexx rubs his arm. "I-I put him in his tank and forgot to put the lid on. He got outside and he got hit by a truck." Leif starts hyperventilating and lets the tears fall freely. He desperately feels for a pulse.

Rita runs over. "What's going on?!"

"Hops got ran over." Loki answers.

"Hops! Hops! Buddy, it's Leif!" He begs the empty shell of the frog. He does the Heimlich Maneuver and even mouth-to-mouth resuscitation . "Come on, Hops! Stay with me!"

"Leif…" Linka says.

"You can't die! You're my best friend! I was thinking about how you were doing the whole time at the doctor's office!"

"Leif…"

"We had our whole lives ahead of us! A bunch of time to play, jump in the mud and eat crickets! Please, Hops! Wake up!"

"LEIF!" Linka yells. "He's gone."

Leif pulls away from his pet. He looks at his hands, spatters of blood on it. Toward heaven, he screams his heart out.

"NOOOOOOOOO!" Then he has a hysterical breakdown. Tears and snot dripping down his face. His muscles contracting with every sob. It was a very unsettling sight to bear witness to.

Leif slaps Lexx's hand away when Lexx reaches out to comfort him. "Don't touch me! This is all your fault! I trusted you and look what happened!" Linka pulls him away from Lexx. Leading to Leif to cry into her shirt, staining it.

"Lars, we're gonna need you to plan a funeral." Loki tells him.

"I'd be honored. I keep an assortment of caskets on hand." He says as he pulls out a brochure for a business he owns called "Lars's Lament".

"Were you thinking shoebox? Or for a little more money, mahogany?"

The sun sets over the Loud house and the cool wind blows. Hops' body is in an open shoebox in a hole in the backyard. The Loud siblings and the parents all gather around with lit candles in their grasp. The Louds' four pets following with their heads down. A small detail to note is that Leif kept a far distance from Lexx.

"Hey, son. I'm sorry to hear about your frog." Lynn Sr. says. "I understand what you're going through; I too lost a pet at a young age. We're all here for you."

"We're all gathered here to mourn the untimely passing of Hops the Frog. A great companion and a beloved pet." Lars says, commencing the funeral.

"And a hero," Linka says. "Because of him, my class didn't dissect our frogs. Thirty frog lives were spared."

"Even though, we weren't as close to him as Leif was," Loni says "he was always there for him. And we loved him for it." The rest of the brothers agree with him.

"All of you except Lexx." Leif whispers.

"Leif, I-"

Lars shuts him down. "Lexx, please don't argue right now. Leif, is there anything you want to say?"

Leif tries to come up with a sentence but all that comes out of his mouth is choked sobs. Lars nods in understanding.

"Your sadness says a thousand words. As we commit Hops to the earth, Luke, a little burial music, please?"

"Say no more." Luke hands his candle to Lane and walks over to his electric keyboard that he brought out for this occasion. It's connected to an extension cord that is plugged into an outlet in the kitchen. He plays a somber melody and sings:

There are moments that the words don't reachThere is suffering too terrible to nameYou hold your loved one as tight as you canAnd push away the unimaginable

The moments when you're in so deepIt feels easier to just swim downLeif's smile turned to a frownHe learns to live with the unimaginable

As Lars buries Hops' shoebox, Leif turns around and hugs Linka, unable to witness his pet frog's burial.

Later that night, Linka goes to her room for bed but sees Lexx there in his pajamas. With his toys, awards, a suitcase of clothes, blankets, and a pillow.

"Lexx, what are you doing here?"

"After the funeral, Leif kicked me to the curb. Threw my stuff out into the hallway. I didn't want to sleep on the couch, so I'll be bunking with you until further notice."

"Dude…"

"Don't worry, Link. If I know Leif, and I do, he'll mope around for a day or two then he'll go back to normal. Now, come on, it's bedtime." Lexx climbs into the bed.

Linka, uncertain about Lexx's mindset on Leif's mourning, follows suit.

Lexx couldn't have been more wrong; Leif fell into a grave sadness and remained like that for a week. His routine was to wake up, go to school, and go back to his room to mourn. He would watch the short movie he made about Hops with tears. Or lay in his bed with blankets up to his chin and the lights off. He barely talked to his siblings or do any of his other hobbies. He was never in the same room as Lexx. Over the week, his siblings have dropped numerous hints to simulate Leif's old personality.

"Hey, Leif. Vanzilla broke down again. Wanna help me fix her up?" Loki asked.

"You're seventeen, big bro. You can fix it without me."

"Leif, the rain has subsided and the mire, or as you would call it, the mud, is at acceptable conditions for sport and/or play. Care to come outside?" Levi asked.

"Hops and I used to play in the mud together."

"Um, Leif? The toilet's backed up." Lynn told him.

"Ugh! If this is some trick to make me get out of bed, it's not gonna work! Leave me alone!"

"I'm dead serious."

"Oh. Go tell that to Dad."

Friday night, the siblings meet up in Loki's and Loni's room to discuss Leif's behavior.

"This is terrible, guys," Loki says. "It's been a week and Leif is still crying over his frog."

"There's only room for one depressed Loud, and that's me." Lars says.

"I saw him watch a cockroach scurry across the kitchen and he didn't even pick it up and eat it!" Lane recalls.

"If only there was something, a pill of some sorts, that will simulate his mood with just one swallow." Loni says.

"Uh dude, you just described a drug." Luke tells him.

"Specifically MDMA, Methylenedioxymethamphetamine. Street name, ecstasy." Levi explains.

"Oh. Why don't we find some of that and give it to Leif?" Loni suggests.

Lexx enters the meeting room. "Folks, I have the solution for Leif's depression."

"What can you do? You're the cause of all this." Loki reminds him.

"Just hear me out."

"Fine, Lexx has the floor."

Lexx moves to the front of the room. "Now, reminding Leif of being a handyman or being muddy isn't going to bring him out of his rut. We need to remind him of his love of animals. Show him there are more animals out there. Which is why Dad and I are taking him to the zoo tomorrow!" Lexx holds up a brochure of the Royal Woods Zoo.

"Why didn't we think of that? That's genius!" Lynn exclaims.

"Indeed. Godspeed, Lexx." Levi says.

"That's probably not a good idea." Linka says. "The idea that Leif will just get over all of this isn't either. He lost someone near and dear to him. He doesn't need us to problem solve this."

"Linka, this is going to work. Trust me." Lexx reassures her.

"And if it doesn't, we still have the ecstasy suggestion." Loni says.

"My sweet Lord. Loni, stop talking." Luke demands.

Saturday afternoon, the twins are in Vanzilla with Lynn Sr. is driving.

"Lexx, where are we going? And why did you blindfold me?" Leif demands.

"Let's just say I have the solution for your sadness."

"From the guy who's responsible for Hops' death, I doubt it."

Lynn Sr. parks the van. "We're here! Leif, you can look."

Leif takes off his blindfold and looks out the window. "Surprise!" Lexx screams.

"The zoo? I never thought I say this but I don't wanna be here."

"Yes, you do!" His twin tells him. "We're gonna have some fun and bring back your love for animals. Let's go!" He grabs his arm and pulls him out of the van with their father trailing behind.

They spend about two hours walking around the zoo. Lynn Sr. and Lexx exaggerated their interest in the different types of animals. They stopped for lunch and had those cheesy, spicy nachos Leif once said he loved. Leif didn't crack a smile the entire time.

"Can we go home now?" Leif asked when they've finished the alligator exhibit.

"No. We saved the best for last, son." Lynn Sr. tells him. He and Lexx take Leif to the amphibian exhibit. They show him a pond filled with frogs, hopping around. Leif's eyes widen and his breathing hitched at the sight.

"See Leif, there is plenty of fish in the sea or frogs in the pond. No need to cry over just one." Lexx says. Leif runs out of the exhibit with tears in his eyes, he furiously wipes them away. Lexx and Lynn Sr. chase after him. Lexx catches up to him, grabs his shoulder and forcibly turns him around.

"Dude, what's wrong with you?"

"What's wrong with you?! Why would you show me healthy frogs when you know I'm not over Hops?! That's messed up, man!"

"I'm trying to help you feel better."

"This doesn't make me feel better, this makes me feel worse!"

"Hey! I'm just trying to solve-"

"I don't need you to solve my problems!"

"Trying to solve your grief, you baby! I don't understand why you're mad!"

"Of course you don't, Lexx. You never will because all you care for is yourself! You never had someone taken away from you. My pet frog is dead because of you, and a trip to the zoo won't fix that! I loved him with all my heart! Sorry, we're not all selfish little pricks like you, who loves one thing for a week and moves on to the next like that!" Leif snapped his fingers when he said "that".

Lynn Sr. steps up. "Leif, don't yell at your brother!"

"No, it's ok Daddy." Lexx says, glaring at Leif. "Let's go home." They walk to the van in silence. The silence continues the ride home, with Lexx and Leif sitting in different rows.

Leif and Lexx both march up to their different rooms and simultaneously slam the doors shut. Linka jumps at the sound.

"What happened?"

Lexx sits down next to her. "The zoo plan backfired! If anything, he hates me more! He called me a selfish prick and that I'll never understand what he's going through."

Linka combs his hair with her fingers. "No offense Lexx, but he has a point."

"Offense taken. What do you mean? All I wanted was to solve his problem!"

"That's your problem, Lexx! You think someone can just go back to the way they were with quick answers. People sometimes need to grieve and feel what they need to feel. And the best way to help them through that is not with methods of moving on. It's being there for them, being sympathetic and talking through their feelings. Even if you don't fully understand their grief."

Lexx let his sister's words sink in and sigh heavily. "I just want my brother back."

"Then take my advice. And maybe start tomorrow because he's pretty pissed right now."

Sunday morning, Lexx reluctantly opens Leif's door with Linka behind him. Leif sits up from his bed.

"What do you want?"

Lexx takes a deep breath before speaking. "I'm sorry about yesterday. I try to pretend to know what you're going through but I don't. I know you're mad at me, but please, let me be there for you."

"We're going to the park and get some ice cream. You should come with." Linka says.

Leif rolls out of bed. "I'll go… for the ice cream."

Under the hot sun at the park, Linka hands her brothers swirly chocolate ice cream cones. "Thanks, Linka." They say simultaneously.

"I'll be on the bench if you need me. You two stay safe." Linka says and walks away.

"Come on, Leif. I wanna show you something." Leif raises his eyebrow but follows Lexx. He leads him to a pond. A very special pond to Leif.

"Lexx, this is-"

"The pond where you met Hops? Yes, yes it is. And you think I don't listen to you." The twins sit on a bench nearby.

"You and Hops had some history, huh?"

"Oh, a bunch. The first day I met him, he gave me these big sad eyes when I was about to leave the pond. I couldn't say no to him, so I brought him home and kept him for almost a year. We would have cricket-eating contests and he can drop a mean baseline. My school pictures looked a thousand times better with him in it."

"I bet you and him had plenty of adventures."

"Yep. I'll never forget the time when we went on that frog rescue mission with Linka. Hops saved them all. He was a saint. I could never find another as trusting or as kind." Tears drop on his ice cream and he licks it. "My ice cream is salty."

Lexx put his hand on his shoulder. "It's ok to cry, Leif. I'm sorry I caused this. I did try to save him. You didn't deserve to have him taken away from you."

"We- we were best friends..."

"I know. It's so sad." He pulls him in for a side hug. Leif wraps his arms around him and cries into his shoulder. This is their first physical interaction since Hops' death. They stay like that for ten minutes, ice cream melting in their grip. Then they turn their gazes to the pond, in a comfortable silence, finishing what's left of their ice cream.

"Hey. Lexx?"

"Yeah?"

"Thanks for doing this."

"Anytime, bro. Let's find Linka and head home." The twins get up and walk side by side to find their older sister.

Yet, they still entered different rooms when they got home. "How did it go?" Linka asks once she closes the door of the linen closet.

"I took him to the pond and he told me his memories of Hops. I let him cry on my shoulder for about ten minutes. He thanked me afterward."

"That's good progress."

"Yeah, you were right." Lexx says as he climbs on the bed. "I should have just been there for him. I only hope we can be cool again someday."

"Yeah, you snore really loud in your sleep."

"Hey! I thought I was over that."

Linka and Lexx were both caught by surprise when twenty minutes later, Leif came into the room and said, "Linka, can I have my roommate back now?" There's a sweet and powerful tone in the word forgiveness.

Lexx bounces off the bed and stands in front of Leif. "Are you serious?"

"Yep. Hops was a good pet but you're a great brother."

Lexx lets the tears well up in his eyes as he and Leif hug. "I missed you, man! You're the best!"

"I love you, Lexx."

"Back at ya."

"Aw, that's so sweet!" Linka says, touched by the brotherly love. "Come on, I'll help you move back in, Lexx."

The little prince was finally reunited with his twin. However, Lexx has some unfinished business to take care of. So, when everyone went to bed, he sneaked out of the house to the backyard. With flowers in his grasp. When he reaches Hops' grave, he places them on it and looks towards the heavens.

"If you're up there, Hops, I wanna say I'm sorry. Like, really sorry. I hope you can forgive me like Leif did. But I want you to know that I do appreciate you, I appreciate you caring for Leif. I just regret that I didn't say this to you while you were alive."

Lexx goes back inside. Back into his shared room with Leif for bed.