116 Return

May 13, 2014

We piled into an APC together. Vanguard, Creel, Fantasma, Mikhail, Aleksei the secret dark god, and me. Fantasma fell asleep as soon as she got into the truck, her head resting on Mikhail's shoulder. I had to admit, I was feeling the mental strain myself. Mikhail looked like he'd been through the ringer. He was covered in tiny cuts and burns across his bare chest and arms. Like he'd fallen through a rosebush that was on fire.

Creel was resting on a stretcher in between us, snoring slightly. I gave him a grin. He was all right now apparently, but the fact he'd even gotten to a state of being damaged had scared the shit out of me.

As the car rattled along, I looked up at Vanguard, who still looked miffed. "Hey, I told you man. NRG just sounds like that, I can't help it."

"You turned into a literal walking atomic reactor and immediately gained a ridiculous Russian accent?" he asked me with more than a hint of annoyance.

"Look, NRG is basically the closest equivalent to a Space Russian," I rubbed the back of my neck. "I mean, that is just how the Omnitrix translates him to Earth languages. That's all. I mean, if I was going to do a mocking accent, why would I do it in the middle of a battle?"

He sighed. "Boy, I understand that logically. But you should know that this isn't a logical emotion. It will take me time to get over how annoying this is."

"Fair enough," I nodded toward his chest. Some bandages had been placed under his red suit, some seepage of blood going through the white gauze. "You okay?"

He looked down at his wounds before nodding. "Yes. Seems you've also taken quite the hit," he nodded toward my armor, which, while technically intact, still had some scars. I nodded.

"Yeah, we've all had our beating. But hey. We won."

"Not yet," Mikhail said, scowling. "Not until we find Kragoff again."

Vanguard nodded while Aleksei adjusted his glasses nervously. Which just drew my attention to the small man.

"So, you," I said with a raised eyebrow. "You what, host Chernobog?"

"Uh, yes," Aleksei coughed. "But, um, that is confidential information." Mikhail grumbled something about "that hornedDebil," the last word being a pretty common Russian insult.

"I'll sign the waiver later," I joked. "But why is it confidential?"

"If no one knows Aleksei exists, we have an operative that can stand in a crowd, as unassuming as can be, only to suddenly become a god," Vanguard explained. "And if no one knows Chernobog has a host, why would they look for one?"

And that was terrifying to think about. Chernobog, even against cloned apes running on computer brains, had been horrifying. Him suddenly transforming in a crowd, or god forbid being taken hostage. That would scare the shit out of anyone. Dude was a funny asshole. He was also sadistic as shit.

Aleksei winced. "Well, I wouldn't put it like that. I'm really not suited for all this violence."

I remembered the moment when Chernobog had licked a servitor gorilla's cheek before biting into it like an apple. Yeah, people might find that hard to believe. I leaned my head back in my seat and sighed. Things got quiet after that, all of us just resting. It had been one hell of a past few hours after all.

The APC bounced and jostled on it's way to the nearest military base, Creel snoring peacefully the whole way.

When we got to the base, Boris was there waiting for us. We didn't have much time to say hi. The smiling politician pulled us through a crowd of watching soldiers and personnel into the main base. Fantasma was woken up and followed along while yawning a bit, and Creel was sent to the infirmary on the base.

Coulson, Skye, May, Fitz-Simmons, Kraven, and Galina were all waiting for us.

A tight knot in my chest released the second I saw them. Skye and Fitz-Simmons gave me relieved smiles, rushing toward me. We wrapped each other in a hug, the four of us coming together.

Fantasma hugged Galina, who was smiling like an older sibling trying to seem cool, Kraven sharing a small nod toward the others.

"I have to go check on Creel," Simmons said once we'd all released our hugs, giving me another one. I chuckled as I wrapped my arms around her. "It's so good to have you back!"

"I wasn't gone that long, but I appreciate it," I said with a grin.

She gave me a happy look, then rushed toward the infirmary.

"I'm glad you're all alright," I said with a look around. "Man, I cannot wait to get home."

"It'll just be a day or so," Boris noted. He strolled over to join us. "I must admit, you all went above and beyond what would have been expected."

"That's what we do in BRIDGE," Coulson said.

"Save the world and look good doing it?" I asked.

"That's right," Skye smirked.

Boris chuckled good-naturedly.

"Well, we do have some issues to deal with," Coulson scowled. "Kragoff escaped. And he's enhanced. Has the power to go through objects and people. Like Ghost, but with less problems."

"Oh come on, seriously?" I grumbled. "He already had a monkey army. Intangibility is just cheating!"

"You're one to talk," Fitz pointed at the Omnitrix. "Don't you have over a dozen aliens with powers in that thing?"

"Yeah, but only one at a time," I grumbled again.

"Regardless, he's escaped," Boris said angrily. "And we will track him, and whoever has been helping him, down. He threatened the people of Russia with his foolishness. He is now our priority."

"Yay, more bad guys," I grumbled for the third time. I was hungry, sue me for being grumpy. And seriously, we had a whole bevy of enemies at this point. I was starting to feel real eager to start chipping that list down.

"By the way, can I ask about him," Coulson pointed at Aleksei.

Boris scowled. "Well-"

"He's Cherny's host," I said immediately.

"Cherny?" Half the room said incredulously.

"Yeah, Chernobog," I said idly. "By the way, how did that happen?"

Aleksei opened his mouth, then closed it. Then he sighed. "Yeah, that one is a long story."

"And your powers?" Coulson asked Mikhail.

Mikhail blinked. "That… is also a long story."

"And what the hell happened to your briefcase?" Kraven asked Boris. We all looked down at the massive dent that was now in the side of Boris' metal briefcase.

Boris laughed good naturedly. "Well, as my friends have noted, that is a long story!"

"Well hell, I have an idea for that," I said, thinking of Tony. Specifically, of a story he'd told me. "After Creel is checked out, you guys want to go somewhere together? Someplace with good food."

"...I know a place?" Mikhail offered.

A couple of hours later, we all piled into an APC and headed out, Boris convincing the commanders on base to look the other way.

I can't say why we all left. But my personal reason was simple. Because screw it. I'd had a long battle, filled with an insane number of twists and turns, I was hungry, and I wanted to have some fun. So, once Creel was cleared, I left with the others.

With a little drive out to certain bar called the Golden Grizzly, going through the snow until we reached the large wooden structure, we finally had a chance to relax again. Moments later, we were all sitting around a big wooden table covered in scratches and dents from years of rough treatment from drunk Russians, one of the top five types of drunks in the world.

"Za Zdarovje!" We tapped drinks together with a riotous cheer, some of the soldiers who had already been at the bar joining us. They broke off respectfully, leaving just our core group to stay behind. Staring from my left were Creel, Skye, Coulson, May, Fitz, Simmons, Kraven, Aleksei, Galina, Vanguard, Boris, Mikhail, Fantasma, then me.

"Okay," Coulson said as soon as it was clear of people that weren't us. "We've got a few hours. Let's talk about confidential stuff."

Mikhail gave Fantasma a look. The Violet Witch raised a hand and clenched it. A mandala sprouted around the large table, surrounding us entirely, then shattered. The instant it did, all sound beyond that mandala's borders stopped reaching us. I leaned my head back until I could hear the bar again. Then forward. Damn. She'd made a soundproof bubble around us! Awesome.

"Oh, that is so cool," I said in awe. Fantasma flashed me a bright smile.

I patted Creel on the back next to me, my friend looking a hell of a lot better than he used to be. Creel gave me a grin, chugging his drink while ignoring Simmons glare. Apparently they'd had a brief argument about the merits of alcohol while recovering. He'd decided to drink a light beer instead, which in Russia meant very little.

"Okay, so we will talk now," Mikhail nodded. "Where do we begin?"

To that, we all looked over at Aleksei. The man sighed.

"Yes… well, I suppose I am the most obvious one to start with."

"Hell yes," Creel, Skye, and I said in unison.

He adjusted his glasses again, then leaned over the table. "Very well… Months ago, Rio had it's… what has BRIDGE called it?"

"Time Quake," Coulson said.

"Really?" Aleksei cocked his head, then shrugged. "Very well. As Chernobog tells it, the 'Time Quake' had released him. He'd been left in some other dimension, locked away. But then the Time Quake happened. And when he awoke, he went somewhere familiar to him."

I narrowed my eyes. The Time Quake. Looks like it had more repercussions than I had expected. But then, how could it not?

"So… I was a uh, a bartender in my village," I remembered Chernobog mixing himself a drink with some skill. "I worked for an old friend of mine, helping him with the accounts and everything else. One night I was walking home and… well, there were some old ruins, near the village. The kind of place the kids would go to hang out in, smoke, drink, scare each other with old stories. That night I… when the smoke entered my lungs, I didn't think anything of it. Then the voice started talking to me. Animals in the woods, small ones at first, then bigger ones like deer. Some people started showing up at our doctor saying they were very tired. And I started to feel better."

"Better," May asked.

"...I was dying. Lung cancer," Aleksei smiled bitterly. "The children in the village weren't the only ones smoking. But as time went on, I started to feel invigorated. Stronger than I was as a young man even. Then, Chernobog spoke to me."

"And you didn't decide the dark voice in your head absorbing people's life force might need to be kicked out?" I asked curiously.

"He wasn't hurting anyone," Alesei protested. "No one was dying, or even getting harmed! He… he offered me a deal. I-If I let him stay… he would cure me. Instead of the extra year that I had been given, I could live forever. I just had to give up half of my time. Let him 'run the show'."

May narrowed her eyes. "Run the show?"

"It's not that bad. I just let him use my body for a long time, leaving me to feel like I've been asleep for longer than usual, and then he gives it back whenever I like," Aleksei looked around. "H-He's been good. When the government offered him things in return for him channeling his powers to help, he agreed."

"...In return for what?" Coulson asked.

Vanguard narrowed his eyes. Mikhail coughed uncomfortably. Kraven looked unmoved, while Galina and Fantasma shared a look of annoyance.

"There are… people, in the prison system," Aleksei said uncomfortably. "Pedophiles, sex offenders, serial killers, etc. People who wouldn't be missed. And then, the one thing he demanded most heavily… an internet connection, and free access to every streaming site he wants."

If we'd lived in an anime, I would have face faulted.

"Food and internet," Vanguard said sarcastically. The various Winter Guard members chuckled, clearly in on a joke the rest of us weren't. "I don't approve of Chernobog… though recent events make me less inclined to let my dislike of my coworkers affect my job," his eyes flickered to my left. "And beyond that, he is incredibly useful as a warrior."

Coulson shook his head, the older man taking a swig of his drink. "Hard to argue that. But using a dark life force eating god to punish prisoners… that's a slippery slope. The UN is going to have some thoughts on that, especially in terms of ethicality."

"He only eats half! And it's entirely painless," Aleksei said.

I'm pretty sure I wasn't the only one to remember the image of screaming monkey souls, or the feel of Chernobog's laugh tugging on our souls.

"When he choose for it to be painless, it is," Aleksei explained further.

"...so when he does that fucking laugh, that uncomfortable feeling of him tugging on our soul... is him fucking with us?" I asked.

"..." Aleksei chugged his drink.

"What an asshole," Creel and I said in unison.

"I-I can't really argue against that," Aleksei coughed.

After a moment of awkward silence Mikhail talked. "As for me, my story is far more simple. Well, at least, the beginning of it, is. As a young man I… well, I was involved in some clandestine operations. I found out around my teens during that time that I was able to… change. To become powerful. And I was used to fight the battles of those who my handlers deemed threats to us. Until I ended up destroying them," he smiled. And I suddenly realized who he was. Or at least, where he had come from. What the 'clandestine' operations he'd been doing had been.

Mikhail looked me in the eyes. I didn't respond. But I noted it as he continued to speak.

"As far as our scientists can tell from studying my genetics, I was born with an aberrant gene, one that has allowed me to change my form naturally. Something that we haven't found in others. I may be unique, or one of many. I'm not sure.

I thought about that. Aberrant gene. That sounded like-

Then Boris was talking, distracting me from whatever I had been thinking. "I believe it is my turn, yes?" he lifted up his metal briefcase, showing off the big dent in the side. "During the battle on the field, I gave Vanguard control of our forces on the ground. A move that I felt was best, as he is not only a skilled strategist and commander, but is also the one who had the most experience with the enemy at the time. Some of those politicians who have some pull over the Winter Guard protested, so I had to… persuade them."

It was only then that I realized that Boris kind of reminded me of Sammy. Overweight. But with big damn arms and knuckles covered in a few scars. His nose was also slightly bent from a former break. Apparently he was more of a former badass than I would have expected.

"Can't you get in trouble?" May asked, the super spy sipping at some very expensive alcohol.

"If I do, it'll just mean I have to buy another briefcase," he chuckled. "I have long since gained some clout, Miss May. I have worked hard for my government. So I am allowed some leeway in how much damage I can do to people, especially when they're being idiots."

"Fair enough," Coulson sighed, relaxing back in his seat. "Well, I suppose that's everything. Unless everyone else has a deep dark secret they want to reveal."

"Not in this chapter," I joked. "But hey, we're here. Let's have some fun!"

"Fun," Mikhail scoffed. "You came to a Russian bar, and ordered that? How can you have fun if you won't drink?"

I blinked down at my mug of kompot, a fruity non-alcoholic slavic drink the bartender had recommended, then smirked. "Hey, you haven't seen the kinds of parties I've been at. I throw a hell of a food fight."

Dr. Leopold Fitz

Fitz was not exactly the partying type. Or at the least, he wasn't the type to party the way this current crowd did. Skye, Mahmoud, Creel, Fantasma, and Mikhail were dancing together. Very badly, but the group was laughing as Fantasma and Mikhail tried their best to teach the Americans how to dance. Simmons and Kraven, surprisingly, were in a corner talking. Well, Simmons was. For some reason, Kraven seemed very fond of her. Simmons was showing him what looked like a series of graphs, and the muscular hunter was positively fascinated by what she was saying. Huh. What an odd couple.

Fitz, on the other hand, was sitting across from Galina and sharing some ideas.

"Okay, here," Fitz did a final edit to the schematic he'd been working on, then passed it over to her. "I can't share my actual notes, since those are classified, but this might be a good way for you to get your armor to be more compact."

"I'm not so sure," Galina scowled down at the schematic. "The problem is the material I use. Carborundum is good for running electricity through, it's part of the armor is so effective, but it's not very flexible."

"It doesn't have to be!" Fitz placed his drink down. "You've heard of graphene? Some of the work they've been doing on it?"

Galina nodded slowly.

"Well, it is one of the most conductive materials in existence. But it also has bloody amazing tactile strength! You can layer sheets of it wherever Carborundum might not allow for flexibility, use that to make lighter armor without sacrificing durability or conductivity. All you need to do is create a monolayer of carbon atoms to make the sheets, and you can do that by…"

Fitz stopped to think. Was it a good idea to try and help a technical enemy with this stuff… Well, she was going to hunt down Kragoff. Plus, if he helped her, that meant he could also make his own weapons against her. Just in case?

He leaned over. "Okay, so this is what my own research has shown…"

Dr. Jemma Simmons

Simmons watched as Kraven flipped through a series of videos on his tablet. "Okay, look here," the gruff man showed the tablet to her again. "I filmed this as a part of my show years back. I was hunting Black Mamba near a village, trying to get it before it killed anyone."

"You didn't hurt it, did you?" Simmons asked worried.

Kraven smiled. "No. While I do hunt, I avoid killing endangered species. I kill for food and honor. Not to sate some sort of bloodlust. But that is not the point," he pointed at the video. "There were several things I found disturbing about the hunt. Things that I found odd. The patterns of the herds, the predators. I believed at the time that it may have had to do with certain practices of the village."

"And you want to know what caused it?" Simmons asked.

"I want to see if you can discover the reason," Kraven gave her a slightly odd smirk. "You've shown some promise. I want to see how much skill you have in understand the heart of animals."

"You're testing me?" Simmons said, trying not to sound too eager. How exciting! It had been years since she'd had a good test!

Kraven nodded. "I rarely take students. But you interest me. Even if you don't wish to hunt, I can see some value in you learning some of my skills."

Simmons thought about that. In truth, she did have a background on the sort of things Kraven focused on. Despite what most thought, hunters and bioscientists often depended on one another to do their work more efficiently. In fact, whenever forests or jungles encountered some sort of issue, hunters were often the first to let scientists know. It wasn't a perfect relationship, but there was one worth pursuing.

And Kraven was a VERY good hunter.

"Well, give me a moment," Simmons watched the video, biting her lip thoughtfully. So the animals in the village were reacting some outside stimuli? Nine times out of ten, that tended to be man made, but there were some natural things that could have similar effects. The best indicator was what animals were being effected. Black Mamba… Hmm.

Kraven watched quietly as Simmons excitedly began to work.

Phil Coulson/Leader of Team SHIELD

"So your plane was destroyed," Boris said.

Coulson nodded sadly. He had liked the Bus. Loved it. That plane had been beautiful. Old, sure, but with all it's upgrades it had been one hell of a plane. And now she was gone.

May gave Coulson a sympathetic look (well, sympathetic for her, anyways) before turning to Boris. "And now we will need a ride back to the states. If need be, BRIDGE will fly over a quinjet, but we thought we might ask you."

"Not a problem," Boris chuckled. "After you helped stop a nuclear weapon and an army from killing our citizens, it would be rather crass of me not to aid you, would it not?"

"Thank you," Coulson said, trying not to sound to bitter about losing his sweet ride. "And Lola?"

"We've left orders to leave her in a safe location," Boris explained. "While usually she would be studied, we already have some models similar to her in storage, so she will be untouched and ready for you to take her to the states."

"I appreciate that," Coulson then looked over at the group dancing to the loud music. "And what about…"

"They already know," Boris sighed. "We'd long since planned this. But Kragoff ended up accelerating those plans. As I'm sure you can imagine. But we've been prepared. Nikolai's sister is ready as well. And this is most beneficial for us all… Do the Avengers know?"

"Everyone who wasn't here. So, Dial and Creel don't know," Coulson explained.

"Why not?" Boris asked.

"Because we were busy with other things," May said. "Dial and Creel are big boys, they'll understand why we kept it a secret."

"And I don't think they'll mind too much," Coulson noted. He was watching those dancing. May and Boris turned to look as well.

Fantasma was helping Creel dance, laughing as he grumpily tried to follow her. Mikhail was having better luck with Dial, Skye laughing at the two as Dial blushed. They seemed to be having fun. Soon they switched, Fantasma and Mikhail dancing together. There was a brief moment of warmth there. When Fantasma danced with Mikhail there was a closeness between. Nothing romantic. More like a proud father having a good time with his youngest daughter.

Skye looked over at Coulson and noticed him watching. She gave him a smile, and Coulson felt his lips turn up in return.

Mahmoud Schahed/Dial

"Okay, here you go," Aleksei passed me a drink, surprising me. I'd taken a break by sitting on my own, watching everyone have a good time. Of all people to join me at the table, Aleksei had been just above-

"May I?" Vanguard, the bottom of the list for people I'd expected, joined Aleksei, the pair sitting down with me.

"Uh, sure?" I said hesitantly. Aleksei and Vanguard sat across from me. Vanguard looked a lot better, and had long since dropped his mask to reveal his rugged features (Getting really tired of being the only non-supermodel superhero). Aleksei similarly looked happy. I looked down at the drink he'd handed me.

"Don't worry, it's more kompot, an apple one this time," Aleksei said with a smile.

"Oh. Well, thanks," I hesitantly looked between them. "So. We've had a hell of a mission. I finally have a story that beats Tony's at least."

"It's certainly is not what I expected," Vanguard said gruffly. "I had assumed our missions would be more… realistic."

"Welcome to the world of superheroism," I said with a shrug. "It just gets crazier from here. Just wait until more aliens drop out of the sky."

He didn't seem to know how to take that.

"How about you?" I asked Aleksei. "You've got Chernobog inside you, he's probably seen crazier."

Aleksei frowned thoughtfully. "A few. But he never sees them as 'crazy'. In fact, pretty much every moment about the past few days has been par for the course for him."

"Makes sense he'd have a higher threshold I guess," I sipped at my drink.

Truthfully, while that whole mess had gotten a little nuts, the servitors hadn't been quite on the level of Rio. Which admittedly was tough to top.

"Enough men died during this mission," Vanguard said softly, looking over at the soldiers in the room around us. "I don't want things to be any crazier."

Fair enough. Crazy for superheroes usually meant death for everyone in our immediate vicinity if we didn't move fast enough.

"...I had to deal with that kind of thing a few times," I said sadly. "I mean, I try my best. But," the images of corpses in Rio, of body bags in the Triskelion, filled my mind. "Can't save everyone."

Goddamn, what a fucking sad thing to say. 'Can't save everyone'. Like that solved anything. Yay for damned platitudes.

I couldn't help my disgust at my own words. Vanguard apparently noticed. He raised his drink. "To those who were lost."

Aleksei raised his own drink. "And to those we saved?"

I looked between them. Then I raised my glass and struggled to think of what to add. "And uh… to the battles to come? The people we'll work to save?"

"I'll drink to that," Vanguard clinked his glass with ours and we all took a swig.

"Hahahaha!" Fantasma, smiling happily, dropped into the seat in front of me. She was clearly a little drunk.

"Heya, magic girl," I raised an eyebrow. "You okay?"

"Y-" she hiccuped loudly. "Yes. I'm all right. One moment," she waved her hand slowly, clearly using all the focus she could muster. Then she clapped. Some purple sparks appeared before her head and she sighed in relief.

"...Did you just… cure your drunkenness?" I asked.

"Not quite," she said, sounding more focused. "I simply staved it off. I'll still need to deal with the results of a hangover."

"How many spells do you know, anyways?" I asked curiously.

She frowned thoughtfully, resting her head in her hand. "I am not sure. My magic is very instinctual. I have to think about it, sometimes, but I often just need to have the focus and willpower to do the spell. I have to practice of course. I can't just make a new spell out of thin air, and I've spent hours perfecting them. But it's like I'm forcing myself to remember them, rather than making new ones."

"Sounds similar to my watch," I noted. I tapped the Omnitrix. "I uh, I've gotten pretty good with the watch. And I've got sort of a cheat code on how to use them," if you could call dozens of episodes of a kickass cartoon a 'cheat code'. "But I still need to get used to them. Figure things out and what-not."

Fantasma nodded slowly. Then she quirked her head to the side and looked closer at me. "You never seem… thrown when I talk about magic," when I looked confused she continued. "Even now, I still have the researchers calling what I do 'quantum displacement' something or other. Mikhail thinks I'm like him. Vanguard thinks I got my powers from radiation. Galina thought I was cheating with machines," she hesitated before continuing. "Chernobog was the first person to take what I do at face value. Why do you believe me as well? None of your friends do."

Well. Shoot. How was I going to explain… oh right, this basically had its own explanation.

"Last year, I wouldn't have believed how my life would go. Then I woke up in a world where a group of superhumans fought off aliens, my Omnitrix let me turnintothose aliens, and now I fight monsters and villains for the fate of the Earth," I shrugged. "Magic being real… that's not a surprise. That's another folder to be added to my file cabinet of super awesome but weird information."

She smiled. "I'm super awesome."

"Super awesome," I said with a grin.

Fantasma laughed, her eyes glittering before she gave me a soft smile. "Thank you, Mahmoud."

"You're welcome," I got up from my seat and held a hand out. "So. I've got a flight in the morning. Till then. Want to dance? As you know, I could use some practice."

She nodded and placed a hand in mine, rising gracefully, a little smirk on her face as her eyes continued to glitter happily. "I would love that."

May 13, 2014

We hung out for a while before the Winter Guard had to be pulled to their duties. We were flown back to Moscow in a helicopter, where our newest frenemies got pulled into a series of PR bonanzas. I got to watch it from the Winter Guard base with the others, watching as Vanguard led the rest of his team for a series of photo ops and short interviews. They downplayed the role of the 'Americans' in the whole thing of course, so we didn't get any awards, but I wasn't too offended by that.

I took a nap at some point. Coulson woke me up from the bunks we'd borrowed on the base to start the trip back to the states a few hours later. Fitz-Simmons went to say goodbye to Galina, who had apparently spent the night designing things instead of sleeping. I found myself saying goodbye to someone who surprised the hell out of me.

"Now look," Chernobog placed a massive hand on my shoulder. "I don't want you to take this the wrong way. But I'm going to miss you. When you turned into NRG, I-I just," he shuddered. "My stomach was never in such turmoil!"

"Why is every conversation with you an awkward horror movie?" I asked, as uncomfortable as possible without literally crawling out of my own skin.

"Can you change into him? Just one more time?" the black skinned monster smiled down at me in what he probably thought was a comforting way. "Just so I can taste that…power."

"Okay, first," I pushed his hand off me. "Please stop talking in that… black speech you do. Second, I am going home now."

Chernobog sighed sadly. "Well. I suppose I'll have to visit you instead," he chuckled, my heart clenching painfully as he did. "It's too bad. But you should be proud,Mahmoud Schahed. You are now first on my list of people to visit in the United States. Just above the Bald Mountains and Disneyland."

I walked away as fast as possible as he laughed behind me. Yep. Not gonna miss that guy. And I was damn tempted to destroy the slip of paper he'd given me with his email address on it.

I went as fast as I could, headed to a location I'd found last night. I had sort of a… thing, that I'd been doing lately. And if I had the chance to keep it going, might as well extend it in a different direction.

I walked into the more public section of the base. While it wasn't exactly a tourist trap, it was made to accept those deemed safe by the government. And considering the skill they had with public relations, the Russian government had ironically embraced one of the best parts of capitalism.

And so I found myself in the gift shop, grabbing as many Winter Guard shirts of different types as I could.

As I was comparing a chibi Chernobog shirt and a heroic Vanguard one, Creel walked into the gift shop as well, quirking an eyebrow at me. "Of course you're grabbing more nerd gear."

"I have a style now man, I have to contribute to it," I said with a shrug. "Granted, it's mostly Tony's fault, but it's still my style now," I looked up at him. "How are you man? You scared the shit out of me."

Creel reached for the shirts I was looking at on the shelf, flipping through them. He was clearly not really seeing the clothes though. He was looking through the smalls, or the Russian equivalent anyway. The women's smalls at that.

"I'm all right," he said at last.

"Creel-"

"I said I'm all right," he looked at me with a scowl. "I got hit hard, I'll admit it. But I've been knocked down. And I've always gotten up again."

"Yeah, you have man," I scowled back at him. "I'm your friend, dude. I was worried about you. Sorry, damn."

Creel gave me a glare. Then he looked back at the shirts and finally realized what he was doing when he picked up a shirt that was clearly designed to reflect Fantasma's outfit. He stared at it, eyes wide. "Uh…" he said in confusion. Then my phone flashed.

When he turned my way I was chuckling as I sent the photo off. "Yeah, you'd look good in that. Hope Izzy agrees."

"You little-!" I ducked under Creel's outstretched arm, still laughing. Creel grumbled as he tossed the shirt back on the shelf. He walked over to another bunch of shirts. "Yeah. It sucked."

"I guessed."

"But I'll get over it. I'll figure out someway to get used to it, or maybe a way to cool down fast when I need to. I'll get stronger," he looked at me out of the corner of his eye. "Thanks though. For worrying, man."

I gave him a manly punch to the shoulder, then grabbed my manly chibi Winter Guard shirt and went to purchase a few extras.

"...What is this?" Coulson asked later. He was staring at the same thing we were. A plane. A big ass plane that actually put the currently destroyed Bus to shame in size. This thing was just stupid huge. Bright white with a blue stripe, it stood on the tarmac of the Russian airport like a dragon come to life, our group staring at it with wide eyes.

"This, is one Antonov An-124Ruslan," Boris said proudly. He waved at it. "One of the largest and most powerful planes in the world! A marvel of engineering, a true testament to the craft."

"...There are cameras again," I noted, looking around at the media. There was a huge audience as well. Which kinda made sense, considering what an important goodbye this was. They weren't taking much more than some token photos, but the fact they were there was annoying. There was also a big stand nearby with a podium that had dozens of microphones on it. "I don't think we're going to like where this is headed."

Skye nodded next to me. "I can hack the cameras, maybe? Unless their tech is too old."

"I can always shoot them," May sounded a lot more ready to do that than I would have expected. Guess even the most stoic person had her limits.

Creel and Fitz-Simmons seemed to share our thoughts on the matter.

"Yep, really not going to like this," I decided.

"You won't," a female voice said. We turned to see Fantasma and Mikhail walking up to us. Mikhail was back in his military gear. Fantasma, on the other hand, surprised me by coming up with a blue blouse and blue jeans, carrying a large bag over her shoulder. I'd gotten used to her purple outfit and tall boots.

"Hey, Fantasma, Mikhail," Coulson said politely.

"Hey," I said with a small smile. "Kind of expected you in your superhero costume."

"I've been told I tend to distract in that uniform," she said with a smirk.

"Yeah you do," Skye said huskily. She blinked when we turned to look at her. "What? She's hot, I can accept that."

Fantasma opened and closed her mouth while blushing heavily, though she looked amused as well.

"Okay, Boris," Coulson turned to look at the badass politician. "You're going to pull another publicity stunt. Just go for it."

Boris had the good grace to look a little embarrassed. Politics. What are ya going to do?

...I got the Omnitrix ready.

"Ladies and gentlemen!" Boris stepped forward to stand on the red stand, walking up to the podium, Fantasma and Mikhail giving us a look before walking up to us, his voice projected through the speakers. "Our dear Fantasma, hero of the Winter Guard, will now be leaving us!"

There were some sad calls out, several members of the media talking into their mics. I looked over at Fantasma. She was smiling sadly, waving at the audience of people.

"She will be joining the Avengers, representing the glory of Russia across the world! Fighting alongside the heroes of the world to defend our great nation overseas!"

Creel and I looked over at Coulson in shock. Skye and Fitz-Simmons did the same. Coulson looked over at us blithely, then smirked. May chuckled.

"What? You didn't think she was just coming with us for a trip to the states, did you?" Coulson asked casually.

"Do all superspies just love having more info than the rest of us?" was the best response I could give.

"It's one of the perks of the job," he chuckled.

In the meantime, Boris had been continuing his speech. "But as we say goodbye to Fantasma, we also greet two new heroes!"

He gestured to Mikhail. With a step forward, he began to grow. His muscles inflated, his Ivan Drago features became Smokey the Bear features. His military uniform was apparently made with easy tear away velcro or something, because it came apart everywhere. His pants stretched to match him. Soon, a big shirtless bearman stood and roared. The audience gasped in fear and awe. His fur shone in the sunlight as he posed proudly over everyone. Apparently Mikhail had a hell of a good conditioner.

"Ursa Major! A skilled warrior and esteemed soldier of our nation, now joining us to continue that fight!" Boris said proudly, Mikhail roaring, as though to punctuate the statement.

Coulson and May, meanwhile, shared a look. "Two?" Coulson asked.

From above us, she came. Surrounded in an aura like a starlit sky in the shape of a star around her body, the young woman slowly came down toward us. Dressed in a black leather armor with a yellow star in the center of her chest, her blonde hair flowing behind her. With the starlit aura around her and her eyes glowing with colorless energy, she looked like an avenging angel. Dark and powerful.

The blonde landed to a series of flashing cameras, walking up to shake Boris' hand and give a hug to a happy Fantasma, Mikhail speaking to her fondly.

"Ladies and gentlemen, Darkstar!" Boris cheered, the blonde stepping forward to wave happily at the crowd.

"Oh hey, new frenemy!" Simmons chirped. When I gave her a look she explained. "Fantasma said you kept calling the Winter Guard that."

Yeah, that was probably appropriate.

"And, last but not least," Boris continued once the cheering died down. "As a gift to our brave American friends for the aid they supplied the Winter Guard, we have decided to gift them this!" he gestured to the plane behind him.

So that was their game. And apparently the crowd was loving it. Good way to look good, giving a free plane to the Americans for the 'aid provided'. Instead of, you know, some of us almost dying to try and help.

Say what you will about the Russians politicians, they are really good at public relations.

As the cheering died down, Boris and the Winter Guard walked over to us. Boris looked apologetic as he clasped hands with Coulson. "I'm sorry Coulson, but it was the only way I could convince them to let it go."

"I understand," Coulson said. He didn't sound like he meant it. Boris didn't seem to mind that. He gestured to Darkstar, who was eyeing Creel and I curiously.

"Oh, this is Laynia Petrovna."

"Hello! It is very nice to meet you all!" Laynia said in heavily accented English. She sounded like a Russian Fluttershy.

"Petrovna?" May asked.

"Like Vanguard?" I asked.

"He is my brother," Laynia said with pride. She looked at Creel in particular. "He… say, that you saved his life. Thank you."

Creel looked surprised. When he smiled, I've never seen the big lug look more pleased than at that moment. Except for when he was with Isabelle.

"Well, we had better head out," Coulson said, looking closely at Laynia. "But I think BRIDGE will want to speak with you soon."

Boris was unfazed. "Coulson. Despite what others may say, the Winter Guard is thankful to you all. We know what you risked for us. So thank you."

Coulson seemed pleased by that. "Thank you for saying so Boris… now, we've got a hell of an exit to make. Ms. Petrovna, it was good to meet you."

"And you!" Laynia said.

Huh. Pretty chirpy young woman.

Fantasma and Mikhail were saying their goodbyes when Coulson pulled me aside.

"...Mahmoud," Coulson said icily.

"Yeah, Coulson?"

"Any chance you can change the paint job on this thing?"

I grinned slowly. "Sure. Just say the word.."

"Great," Coulson looked over at Boris, who had for some reason brought everyone to the front of the plane. "Now, I really want to get Lola into this thing. But Boris is wasting time at this point. What is he doing at the front of this thing? Is there a door we… missed?"

As Coulson and I watched silently, the front split open. Coulson and I walked slowly outward until we could see what was happening. The entire nosecone of the plane rose up, spitting out a long cargo ramp. Coulson and I shared a look.

"Dude… Russia has been really weird."

"It always is," the older agent said while we watched Lola the beat up convertible get gently placed inside the plane.

With that little statement, I raised the Omnitrix. "You know what though. We Americans can go all out too."

Coulson smiled at that.

I got to see the footage later. While the others entered the Antonov through it's weird nose ramp, I waited outside, some cameras focusing in on me. The second everyone was secure, Coulson let me know on comms, so the cameras caught me reaching a hand up to my head to reply. Then I pushed down the Omnitrix.

"Upgrade!"

The second I had turned into that giant mass of nanotechnology, I merged with the Antonov, the sounds of surprise filling the air as I did so. As always, it looked like black liquid metal with green circuitry running through it encapsulated the entire surface of the vehicle until it was colored exactly the same color as me. I connected my body to the plane and took it over. In a matter of seconds I took control of the entire plane. Cameras flashed as the now super-advanced cargo plane turned it's engine to face the tarmac and fired up.

Hundreds of tons of steel floated upward. On the side of the plane, a massive logo appeared. The symbol of SHIELD. Not BRIDGE. SHIELD. I figured it was only appropriate.

"Peace out, Russia!" I crowed through the planes speakers. "It's been fun!"

I twisted the engines around again and blasted off towards home.