Ch39

When Viktor Krum arrived, along with the rest of the Durmstrang delegation and the representatives of Beauxbatons, he was immediately given the celebrity treatment. Harry, firm in his belief that the rules did not actually apply to him and somewhat sympathetic for the other boy (who had grown up to be a friend of his), meandered over to the Slytherin table and sat across from him.

"I would introduce myself, but that would probably be as pointless as you introducing yourself as my scar basically serves as a nametag," Harry greeted.

"Harry Potter?" Krum inquired.

"See?" Harry beamed. "No need for an introduction."

"Or an invitation," Draco grumbled. "Go away, Potter, I was enjoying the look on the Weasel's face when he saw me talking to his Quidditch hero."

"Well, as bad as it would be if it were just you, the fact that I'm not even supposed to be here but came over anywhere should annoy him twice as much," Harry pointed out. "Especially considering that he could have easily followed me but doesn't think he's awesome enough to get away with it."

"That's because he's not," Draco replied.

"Vy are you here?" Krum asked, inserting himself back into the conversation.

"Hogwarts is extremely vulnerable to celebrities," Harry confided. "Professor Lockhart two years ago and me for the past three years are good examples of this. I've found the best way to handle this is to carry an antidote to Amortentia, do not consume anything that is not either sealed or other people eat as well – such as the food in the Great Hall – and that there is no point ignoring the fangirls because not only will it not make them go away, it will just make you seem more mysterious and them that much more determined to 'win you over.'"

"I…see," Krum said, looking a bit dazed. Clearly Durmstrang didn't have Hogwarts' fangirl problem. Or fanboy problem for that matter. "Is Amortentia really such a problem here?"

"Not so much, yet," Harry admitted. "But in a few years, when I'm your age…here, I always carry a spare."

"Thank you," Krum said, accepting the vial Harry held out. "Any other advice?"

Harry considered it for a moment. "People are going to be begging you for autographs. I recommend you make a bunch of copies of a photo of yourself – possibly in Quidditch gear – and sign them all. Then carry them around with you so that when you're surrounded by autograph-seeking hordes, they don't slow you down too much. And if you're interested in making a little spending money, you can sell them instead of giving them away. And the students really won't mind, because the fact they have to pay for it makes it seem even more valuable."

"Like when I sold signed wallscrolls of Harry in drag," Draco added.

Krum looked a little confused, whether because he didn't know what drag was (or at least the English word for it) or because he didn't understand why Draco would have pictures of that, Harry wasn't sure.

"It was a Boggart," he said quickly. "And it occurred to me that since I trademarked my name, I could totally sue you for selling those without my permission."

"Ah, but by the time you realized that you were getting a cut of the profits," Draco pointed out. "And do you REALLY want another lawsuit on your hands when you've got the tournament to worry about?"

"I suppose not…" Harry grudgingly conceded.

"You plan to enter the Trivizard Tournament?" Krum asked, surprised.

"It's not like I've got much of a choice in the matter, so I prefer to be proactive," Harry said brightly.

"But…the age line…" Krum reminded him.

Draco snorted. "Like that will stop him. If anyone can find a way around that, Harry can."

"I vish I vas back at Durmstrang…" Krum confessed.

"That's a common first reaction," Harry assured the international Quidditch sensation.

----

"I feel accomplished," Harry declared the next day as he sat down to the Halloween Feast.

Neville looked frightened. "What did you do this time?"

Harry still couldn't get over the fact that there was someone who considered him scarier than Snape. Seriously, who was the ex-Death Eater with the power to fail them, anyway? "I managed to convince about 75 percent of the non-Hufflepuff Hogwarts population to bet that Cedric Diggory will not be the Hogwarts champion. I fully intend to make a killing tonight. Apparently Voldemort's got people convinced that you have to be ugly to be powerful and if the fangirls are any indication, Cedric is really pretty."

"You mean you didn't enter?" Hermione asked, surprised and ignoring the rest of what Harry had said. She hadn't heard of Harry's scheme to charge anyone who was underage and wanted a chance to enter, but she did know Harry.

"Oh, no, I did," Harry assured her.

"And you…DON'T think you'll win?" Ron asked, unable to believe Harry had voiced something that could possibly be construed as doubt in himself.

"Of course I'll win. Who do you think I am?" Harry asked, a little self-mocking.

"But then how can Cedric-" Hermione continued.

"Now, now, that would be telling," Harry said with a grin. "You'll see soon enough."

Throughout the entire feast, Hermione kept pressing him for details, but Harry stayed mum. It was more fun to watch her get all worked up anyway.

At last, Dumbledore stood up. "Well, the Goblet is almost ready to make its decision. I estimate that it requires one more minute. Now, when the champions' names are called, I would ask them to please come up to the top of the Hall, walk along the staff table, and go through into the next chamber where they will be receiving their first instructions."

As he finished speaking, the flames in the Goblet suddenly turned red and sparks began to fly from it. A moment later, a tongue of flame spat out a charred piece of parchment. "The champion for Durmstrang will be Viktor Krum," Dumbledore read. After the applause had died down and the champion had disappeared into the waiting room, another piece of parchment was expelled. "The champion for Beauxbatons is Fleur Delacour."

"The international Quidditch star the whole school's obsessed with and the Veela girl that's driving all the boys mad," Hermione muttered. "Why am I not surprised?"

"I don't think Karkaroff even let his other students enter," Harry whispered back. "He probably wouldn't have even brought them if he didn't need someone to row the boat."

"Are they…crying?" Ron asked, eyeing two of the rejected Beauxbatons delegation. "No wonder they didn't win. That is SO not champion behavior."

"For once, I'm with Ron," Neville said, starting to look a little frightened again.

"The Hogwarts champion is Cedric Diggory," Dumbledore read off a piece of lined paper. Harry felt a little pleased to see such blatant proof of the changes he was bringing. He'd started the whole Muggle school supplies thing on a whim, and now everyone was doing it. Hurray for fads. Of course, having just made quite a bit of money in bets, he was almost as happy as the Hufflepuffs. Well, as the Hufflepuffs before he totally stole their thunder in a few seconds.

"Excellent!" Dumbledore called happily. "Well, now that we have our three champions for our Triwizard Tournament, we can-" he was cut off as another parchment shot forth from the fire. "The champion for the Salem Witches' Academy is Harry Potter."

There was a moment of silence. Harry, naturally, felt compelled to break it with a, "WITCHES' Academy? God, my life sucks…"

The teacher's looked upset but the students looked more amused than anything. Most of them had figured that Harry would get himself entered, but for an all-girl's school? Well, except for the Hufflepuffs; they looked pissed.

Then the Goblet spat out a fifth name, this one again on lined paper. "Fred Weasley is the champion for the…Harry Potter School of Awesomeness," Dumbledore read automatically.

"Whoo-hoo!" Fred yelled, jumping to his feet and high-fiving George and Lee. "Come on, Harry, let's go meet with our fellow champions!"

Harry dutifully got up and started following him, trying to ignore the fact that the Hufflepuffs looked downright murderous now that Gryffindor (and Harry in particular) had managed to upstage them not once, but twice in less than five minutes.

Just before Harry disappeared into the waiting room with the rest of the Champions, he heard Neville remark casually, "You know Hermione, I could be wrong but I could have sworn Ron predicted something like this would happen last year…"

"What is it?" Fleur asked immediately. "Do zey want us back in ze Hall?"

"I doubt it," Fred said glibly. "In fact, this may take quite a while to sort out. Fred Weasley, fifth champion, at your service."

"Fifth Champion?" Krum repeated, puzzled. "But this is the Trivizard Tournament."

"Not anymore it's not," Fred shrugged.

"Why are you so surprised?" Harry asked. "I told you I was entering last night."

"I assumed you meant you vere entering as a Hogvarts student," Krum replied.

"And deprive Cedric of his precious chance for glory?" Harry asked rhetorically. "The Hufflepuffs would kill me."

"They might kill you anyway now that you sneaked two Gryffindors into the Tournament," Cedric pointed out.

"True," Harry acknowledged. "But at least I didn't steal your chance to compete. And remember what you promised me about getting the hell out of any random graveyards you may find yourself in."

"Yes, yes...Somehow I doubt they will see it that way," Cedric said dryly. "Are you two the last champions or will we be getting representatives from Ravenclaw and Slytherin, too?"

"No, I figured five people was more than enough for a three-person tournament," Harry replied.

"THREE people are enough for a three-person tournament," Fleur insisted.

"You have no imagination," Harry said, looking at his future sister-in-law-ish sadly.

Just then, the room was set upon by Luna and several adults: Ludo Bagman, Crouch, Moody, Snape, Dumbledore, Madame Maxifne, Karkaroff, McGonagall, Sirius, and Lockhart.

"So why are you here again, Gilderoy?" McGonagall was asking.

"I'm here in my official capacity of Headmaster," Lockhart explained with his trademark smile.

Snape snorted. "You? Headmaster? Of what?"

"The Harry Potter School of Awesomeness, of course," Lockhart explained. "And, as you can see my champion is right here. Harry, it's been too long."

Harry looked a little embarrassed. "Actually…I was entered under an American school…Fred here is your champion."

Lockhart peered intently at Fred. "I remember you," he said finally. "Your joke shop will be a huge hit, I can tell."

Fred beamed proudly and instatnly revised his opinion of his mother's celebrity crush.

"I can't believe you never told me you were a witch, Harry," Sirius said, sounding wounded. "I'm your godfather! You're supposed to tell me these things!"

"Well, maybe I would have if you hadn't cruelly abandoned me for most of my life while you went off living it up in Majorca," Harry shot back.

"I said I was sorry!"

"I thought he vaz in Azkaban," Madame Maxime sounded confused.

"He rewrote his personal history," Moody explained. "Just go with it. This will probably already taken far longer than it should."

"Can I rewrite my history?" Karkaroff sounded hopeful, no doubt thoroughly fed up by everyone always bringing up his Death Eater past.

"No," Moody's answer was blunt.

"But HE did!" Karkaroff pouted.

"HE doesn't have a Dark Mark," Moody replied.

"That really was an unfortunate tattoo choice," Luna sympathized.

"What iz SHE doing here?" Fleur demanded, pointing at Luna. "If she iz ze sixth Triwizard Champion, then I am leaving now, magical contract or no."

"Oh, no, I didn't enter," Luna said innocently. "I was just talking with Headmaster Lockhart about doing my third year at the Harry Potter School of Awesomeness. He said that that was fine but since the student body was spending the year at Hogwarts because of the Tournament, I would need to continue classes with the Ravenclaws."

"How is it, Dumbledore, that you get THREE Hogwarts champions? Two would be bad enough, but with three you're over half the competition!" Karkaroff demanded.

"Technically, only Cedric is a Hogwarts champion," Fred pointed out. "I'm from the Harry Potter School of Awesomeness and Harry's from Salem's Witches Academy." He burst into laughter again at that.

"So it's not bad enough that I have to be American, I have to be witch too?" Harry complained. "Someone up there hates me."

"You probably deserve it," Sirius said supportively. "But hey, at least we went to Las Vegas over the summer. Imagine how much it would suck if you had to be an American girl and didn't even manage THAT."

"True," Harry conceded.

"Regardless of what school you were entered under, you are still students of Hogwarts!" Karkaroff burst out.

"And we were under the impression zhat zhe Age Line would keep out zhe younger students," Madame Maxime added. "I do not know how old the red-haired boy iz, but the ozher one is clearly far too young for zhis!"

"You're just jealous you didn't figure out a way to beat the system," Harry said flatly.

"If we had been able to enter those who were not of age we would, of course, have brought along a wider selection of candidates from our own schools," Karkaroff said, his eyes cold. Not as cold as Draco's mom's were whenever Harry saw her, but cold nonetheless.

"What, so you think a fourth year is such a threat you'd need to bring along other students to even it out? And whatever happened to all that faith in Krum?" Harry wondered rhetorically.

"Do not go around blaming Dumbledore for Potter's determination to break rules," Snape ordered softly. "He's been crossing lines ever since he arrived here."

"To be fair, lines have been crossing me right back," Harry defended himself.

"Did you put your name in the Goblet of Fire, Harry?" Dumbledore asked calmly.

"Yes," Harry admitted. "But I was also framed."

"Potter, do you actually listen to yourself before you speak?" McGonagall asked wearily. "You did it but you were also framed?"

"Very rarely," Harry answered. "But while it is true that I entered myself under the Harry Potter School of Awesomeness, I think my reaction – as well as the fact that it's a girl's school and my name was entered on parchment when God knows I haven't used that since the beginning of second year – clearly shows that I did not enter under Salem Witches' Academy."

"Or you could just be trying to throw us off the track," Snape pointed out.

"I could, I guess," Harry agreed. "But given the amount of flak I'll have to take about being a teenage American witch – which would make me a walking cliché – it would SO not be worth it."

"The rules state that whosever name comes out of the Goblet has to compete so there's really no point arguing about it," Crouch said, looking very much like he'd like to leave.

"I want to know 'ow he managed to cross the Age Line," Madame Maxime insisted. "Unless Dumbly-door made a mistake?"

"Dumbledore did not make a mistake," McGonagall snapped.

"It is possible," Dumbledore said politely.

"No, he didn't," Harry assured them. "I'm just more creative than that. I would tell you how I did it, but then you'll cover your bases next time and I think that if anyone else were to have need to get past an Age Line and stumble across my method for doing so, they deserve to be able to use it in peace." After all, time travel was kind of extreme if you just wanted to enter a lousy competition. If someone went through all that trouble anyway, let them enter.

"I insist on resubmitting the names of all my students," Karkaroff spoke up. "I want two more students and I'm sure Madame Maxime wants them as well."

The French Headmistress nodded her assent.

"The Goblet won't be relit until the next tournament," Bagman said uncomfortably. "So you really can't enter any more. And you can't leave, either, because Krum is bound to compete…"

"I love it how no one seems to care that someone entered me into a highly dangerous competition for an unknown purpose," Harry complained as he watched the adults argue.

"It's the nargles that make them quibble about 'fairness' and 'how could this happen' and ignore the more pressing question of 'why'," Luna confided.

"Good thing there's no mistletoe or we wouldn't have gotten past 'how can there be five students for a Triwizard Tournament'," Harry said gratefully.

"Perhaps they are not concerned because you wanted to enter anyway," Lockhart suggested.

"Or because they are horribly negligent. Whichever," Harry shrugged. "And hey, you should really have a talk with Krum while you're here. He doesn't really seem to have any idea how to manage his fame."

"Hm," Lockhart looked thoughtful. "And as an international Quidditch sensation surrounded by hormonal teenagers, that could definitely cause problems. Yes, I will need to speak with him at some point."

"How long are you going to be here, anyway?" Harry asked.

"According to the rules, as Headmaster of a competing school, I get to be a judge, so I should be around on and off all year," Lockhart announced. "Thanks again for giving me this opportunity to get more good press."

"Don't mention it," Harry said magnanimously.

"If it were any other student potentially in danger, they would probably be highly concerned," Sirius theorized. "But you go after trolls because you're bored."

"That was only the one time!" Harry protested.