Prelude to rescue

Standing awesomely atop of a tall building stands a familiar and cool figure.

This cool figure was the great, the hydrated, teddy loving nun.

Nun-lirious.

He stood there looking down on the streets, which were filled with two gangs shooting each other.

Nun-lirious did not like this at all! You know why?!

"I am the greatest Nun this city has ever seen! I am the delirious nun! Look at all those evil gangs shooting all their loads at each other! Laying this clean land with filth! No one will stop me from acting out justice! I will stop them all!"

Jumping of the building, Nun-lirious aimed at the center of the two groups and dived down.

As the two gangs were gunning each other, they didn't notice a blue blur diving at the center.

*BOOM!*

With a loud boom everyone stopped shooting as they looked at the center to see what was caused such a crash.

They focused their attention at the figure being slowly revealed behind some smoke, as it cleared they all finally got to clearly see the figure, and what they saw…

"Freeze motherfuckers! Nun-lirious is here!"

… Was a massive man with wearing blue nun garments that could barely contain the massive muscles he had.

Silence descended on the streets as everyone tried to figure out what… that thing is.

"Who the hell are you?!"

Finally, someone spoke up, no one knew who or which side did it come from but everyone finally snapped out of it and aimed their guns at the 'Nun'.

"Yeah! Who the hell are you!"

Nun-lirious stood there majestically. Before making a great pose.

"I am the one who prays for the people, the people who are thirsty for salvation and justice, I am the best motherfuckin Nun in the world. I am delirious! And I am here to clean up this street with H20!"

"…"

Once again, everyone just stood there as a moment of silent descended on them as their brain function stopped.

As everyone's brain tried to function again suddenly tensed as the delirious nun pulled out a bat… with a hockey mask and a bottle of… water.

Everyone could already feel their sanities slipping.

Everyone looked on as the 'nun' got into a stance and opened the water bottle before dumping the contents on the mask he was wearing.

Suddenly the atmosphere got heavy making them, on instinct, aim their guns at the Jugger-nun.

The atmosphere tensed further, some could've sworn that they saw a tumble weed tumbling across.

Getting too tensed some of them were about to pull the trigger, when suddenly…

"YAHOO!"

…

… No one knew what happened, it was simply just too fast to properly see and judge, the last thing they saw was a massive blue figure… and a bat with a hockey mask.

From afar, a figure with somewhat demonic traits looked on with a frown and clicked his tongue.

"*Tsk* Everything was going so well, but everything had to be ruined by some nutjob."

Eyeing the Blue unit of a 'Nun' with annoyance and disdain, the devil pulled out a phone and dialed a number.

As the phone rang the devil took another look at the street (which was now surrounded by police cars) and his eyes widened when he couldn't see the 'Nun' anymore.

"Where the hell did he go-"

Before he could finish that sentence, a heavy feeling descended on his body as a small huff of air brush past his face.

"I was right behind you the whole time…"

The devil tried his best not to lose his bladder control at the dread he was feeling right now.

As he was about to attack the person behind him, a large hand gripped around his neck, chocking him.

"… Now, tell me where the kids are, I know you know, that I know, you know, where they are."

"… I… ain't … telling you… jack…"

"Who the hell is jack? My name is Nun-lirious. Now tell me where the kids are!"

Although the devil was losing breath and is close to passing out, he manage to give the 'Nun' a blank look before attempting, and failing, to pry the hand open.

"If you won't talk, then I will make you."

Nun-lirious then pulled out a baton. Seeing the baton in his hands, the devil couldn't help but feel dread.

Raising the baton high up, the devil, despite lacking oxygen, saw his muscles bulge up as strength coursed through them.

In one swift motion, the baton swung up, and broke some jewels with a loud crack.

There was a silent moment between the two of them, before the devil broke with a loud cry containing great pain and anguish.

[Insert]

[Screaming cowboy]

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! AAAAAAAAAAAA!!! AAAAAAAAAA!!! AAAAAYAAAAAYAAAAAHAAAA!!! EAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! AAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

That night, people around the world, could have swore they saw a giant ghost like man crying in the distance in great pain.

The cries were sounded so painful in fact, that all the males, for some reason, buckled their legs and put there hands on their crotches.

…

The Devil was dropped unto the ground, clutching his ruined beyond repair jewels as tears streamed his face.

Nun-lirious crouched down to the devil as whom continued to cry and wreathed in pain.

"Now then, will you tell me where they are? Or will I have to do it again?"

The devil flinched, and turned his eyes (which were still streaming with tears.) to the 'Nun' in fear.

"P-plea-se, *sob* I'll tell you *sob* Everything."

The devil then spewed out everything he knew, and Nun-lirious wrote it all down.

As the devil finished spilling everything, Nun-lirious, the ever merciful Nun he was, ended the devil pain. By breaking his neck.

With the information gathered, Nun-lirious, whistle called for his ride, which arrived in moments.

His ride being, a red bike.

Hopping onto the bike, Delirous wheelied the bike and soon took of into the night sky.

People who were still awake and wandering about, could've sworn they saw a silhouette of a buff man riding a bike in the night sky under the moon light.

Next time: On Nun-lirious.

*BOOM*

"What the hell is happening?!"

"Is that a Nun?!"

"Xenovia! Hang on!"

"Is that bike flying?!"

*BOOM!!!*

"Hohoho! Santa's here!"